What we (literally) stumbled upon was not a brewery; rather, it was an abandoned maze of mystery machines, run by the ghosts of men and women who had died long, long ago but still continued to brew... BEYOND THE GRAVE.
We fearlessly entered their lair, and the beer-brewing ghosts were none too pleased with our invading their haunted factory.
The haunted brewery was also full of mysterious items that we can only assume were once used for medieval torture.
We saw things that neither of us can rationally explain. We drank the ghost of beer that once was. Brandon experienced the demonic possession that is beer goggles and almost made out with an empty keg. And Bryan, well, he hit his head really, really hard and saw the light at the end of the beer bottle.
At that point we were informed that we weren't actually experiencing a "haunting," we were experiencing "massive drunkenness." Apparently blurred vision can make everyone look like a ghost, even the nice girl who was kind enough to take us on a tour of the brewery and put up with our shenanigans.
(If anything, that's a testament to the strength and awesomeness of Upslope's beer)
But really, though, the two of us enjoyed a very nice tour of the Upslope Brewing facility in Boulder this week, and we'd like to thank Bethany Lovato for not only inviting us down for a tour but for agreeing to be made into a classily tasteful cartoon character.*
*Please don't sue us. We don't know what 'classily tasteful' even means, but if anything, Jesus is pretty classy, right?
So, beer fans, get out there and grab yourself a draft of Upslope if you can. They brew godly nectar in a myriad of styles, and are kind enough to can it for the masses. Either the craft lager or the IPA is our particular favorite but they've got a lot of great brews all around.
And no, they didn't pay us to say any of this. We sought them out and asked them for a private tour just because we like their beer that much.
...Or rather, this much.
What's your favorite beer?
Cheers and stay classy, folks,
Beer: Upslope Thai IPA