Monday, August 21, 2017

The National Nazi Epidemic of 2017

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very special A Beer for the Shower press conference. We present to you the President... of this blog. Along with another guy. Who is also the President. We share.

Don't overthink this.

























Monday, August 7, 2017

This Post is Nothing - Move Along

So I know you're probably all wondering where I've been the past couple of wee-







Okay, *IF* you were wondering where I was the past couple of weeks, I've been nursing a broken hand. I fractured one of the tiny bones inside of my hand while beating the living hell out of my body opponent bag.

This asshole.


Seeing as how the dummy is fine, I don't believe I won our last fight. Statistics indicate I may instead be the dummy.

Weeks have dragged on and still I can't draw. I can type a bit, but posting nothing but words is weird. Unheard of. What am I, some kind of author or something?

I figured maybe there's another way I can still get you guys a quality post. Maybe I can make comics entirely out of text.



But no, that's cheesy. Even cheesier than using MSPaint.

Speaking of, I also thought of digging up some old MSPaint files from way, WAY back in the day and adding some new text over those, but it turns out that Microsoft has actually killed off MSPaint. Those bastards.


I even considered asking my wife to draw something for the blog.


But since she doesn't know what she's doing and that's kind of rude of me to push my work on someone else, I can't do that, either.

I even considered just posting a rerun. Taking a slightly older post and reposting it again just for something as cheap as extra views and maybe a bit of ad revenue.


But I can't do that. That's lame.

Ultimately, none of these things fit the bill here at ABftS, so I've decided that for this week you get nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is no post today, no cartoons, and no pictures. Nothing to see here, folks.

Sorry about all of this nothingness. I do hate to leave you with a blank canvas. Anyhow, I'll see you in a couple weeks when my hand is better.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Beer: Left Hand Sawtooth Ale
Music: Vance Joy

The first thing you see when you enter hell
                                                                     

Monday, July 24, 2017

#31 - Just Smile, Stupid




Note from artist: I realized after drawing this that it might seem like a subtle cry for help, but it's just a joke involving some ridiculous things I've heard in my life about depression. I'm feeling perfectly fine.

Isn't that right, voice-in-my-head-that-tells-me-to-burn-things?

Si, es correcto.
(he's Puerto Rican).


Monday, July 10, 2017

It's a Bouncing Baby Boy



His name is Jackson. He came into this world July 5th. Brandon's too busy to respond to comments now, but I'll send any and all warm wishes his way.

~Bryan


Monday, July 3, 2017

Happy Blow Things Up/Terrify Your Pets Day


May your beer be plentiful, your fireworks be military grade, and your fingers be ultimately intact.

Happy 4th of July!... if you're into that sort of thing.

Cheers and stay patriotic, friends,
Bryan and Brandon

Music: Eluvium
Beer: Blue Moon White IPA

(Also posted over on Tapas if you feel like popping over and saying hi)

Monday, June 19, 2017

I Blame My Dad for This Post

I was planning a bigger post for today, but I spent most of the weekend eating charred meat and trying to explain basic computer functions over and over and over again. That probably sounds like some kind of bizarre torture ritual, but actually, that's just another Father's Day with my dear old dad, who likes his coffee and his steak the same way - black. It was fun, and I learned that my dad is sort of a superhero, in a way.

So in honor of Father's Day, I wanted to share 5 fun superhero facts about my dad.

1. I've never seen him without a mustache. Ever. I always wondered what was beneath it, and it turns out that underneath his mustache, there is only a bigger, stronger mustache... waiting to strike.


2. When he was young, he would wrestle and kill wild wolves for sport, with his bare hands. He would then siphon their souls into his t-shirt. This is why he owns so many of those cheesy wolf t-shirts.

Each of them is a wolf he has bested in combat.

3. He believes that grilled meat needs to be properly charred because the crispiness on the outside traps the flavor on the inside, like a kind of cruel flavor prison.


4. He can break any computer just by touching it. Sometimes even by looking in its general direction. He can also install 8,000 toolbars on a web browser with but a single click.

5. Like the Greek warrior Achilles, his heel is his only weak spot. This is why he wears socks and sandals together, to act as double protection for his only single vulnerability.


As long as he wears this velcro padded armor, he is expected to live forever, continuing to terrorize wolves and computers with reckless abandon.

Oh, and he's also a pretty great guy. He's the kindest, most patient person I know, and I wouldn't be who I am without him. Take that as a good thing or a bad thing, I guess.

Any fun facts about your own father?

Cheers and stay fatherly, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon, who's about to be a father any time now)

Music: Toro y Moi
Beer: Not Your Father's Root Beer

Notice how he's wearing the wolf t-shirt. Yeah, I didn't ask him to do that. He already was. Classic dad.

Bonus: new (probably not to you) comic over on Tapas today. Check it out. Or don't.

Monday, June 12, 2017