Because it's not just a diet. It's a lifestyle.
Things like "saturated fats" and "calories" and "trans fats" are irrelevant. The real enemy of the digestive system is the gluten, and thanks to this new diet (errr, sorry, lifestyle), we can now stop this nasty virus from infiltrating our stomachs altogether.
And the fun doesn't stop there. Gluten-free folks don't have to limit their meals to eating store-bought food at home, because virtually every restaurant has a handy gluten-free menu now. In fact, there are restaurants that are even specifically gluten-free!
So Brandon's been eating gluten-free cheeseburgers and gluten-free fried chicken and gluten-free ice cream cake for weeks and he feels like a million bucks. Not like that hater Bryan, who still isn't sold on the diet. Errr, lifestyle.
And there you have it, folks. One of us is going to go on living a healthier and more productive life despite the fact that his doctor so foolishly never recommended it, and one of us is going to continue eating all that vile, horrible gluten that humans have unbelievably been dumping down their throats for centuries without a single problem.*
*only an estimated 1% of the US population has celiac disease, which is a medical intolerance to gluten
Any gluten-free'rs in the house?
Cheers and stay healthy, folks,
Beer: Apricot Blonde (Dry Dock)