Monday, December 4, 2017

The Great December Talkbox

December is here, and boy am I refreshed and relaxed after hosting my entire family over Thanksgiving.


LOL JK, I'm actually one-crusty-plate-left-in-a-bathroom away from snapping like a twig and unleashing the seven hells upon this world in a path of destruction that Kim Jong Un's fat, swollen brain can't even fathom.

Which means I'm still busy, and likely to be even busier during December than I was in the last 2 weeks. Work. Birthdays. More time with family. Plus, there's another holiday coming up (something about a barn baby and a fat man that breaks into your house). Also, I'm still working on my huge, insanely ambitious project, which I plan to finally announce on January 1st*.

*Note: for those who asked, it's not another book. I'd feel like a complete asshole if I put this much hype into just writing another book, which is neither insane nor highly ambitious.

Thus my lack of color today. And lack of a real subject. I've got nothing to really talk about. So instead, while I keep slugging along on setting up this project, I'd rather just talk to you.

Yeah, you. I mean, it beats trying to talk to random people on the Internet.





And I don't know if chatrooms even exist anymore, being as how it's not 1998, but I'm too scared to find one of those. Too many weirdos.





So for now, I'm limiting myself to comment boxes, where Godwin's law hopefully does not apply. I may not be posting a whole lot for this month, but I'll be around. Drop me a comment or two. Stay in touch. Tell me what you're doing. Give me a fun fact. Tell me a joke. Or let me know if you're working on any epic, insanely ambitious projects of your own.

I'll be back with a quick post around Christmas, in which I'll share this year's Christmas card. I'm hoping it's even better than last year's gem.

So... what's new?

Cheers and stay talkative, friends,
Bryan

Music: Trevor Something
Beer: Modelo Negra





115 comments:

  1. So are you solo-managing the ABftS franchise now, or what? Out of the last four comics, Brandon has only shown his face in one.

    "And I don't know if chatrooms even exist anymore, being as how it's not 1998, but I'm too scared to find one of those."
    Literally just hop onto Urbit. Nicest place on the internet, hands down. Hell, I'll have publicly accessible chat streams for all kinds of things live after the next release happens. I should make one for writing as well.

    Shilling aside, that "comment replies" pane hits the nail right on the head. That's what 90% of people's comment feeds look like to me, and it makes me sad every time I see it.
    Also love how your flatscreen monitor has that little glint in the top left that says "look at how deep my tube goes". (;

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, my monitor (just a TV) is just bragging about how shiny it is. Or something like that. It only has minimal coffee splatters at this exact moment.

      I am indeed solo-managing this place for now. That was the whole point of THIS POST, which I'm guessing not a lot people picked up on. Brandon is busy being a single mother, which is even harder because he's married. He'll be back, but he's barely got time to take care of himself, much less contribute here. So I run the ship.

      [im]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/091/569/5c2.gif[/im]

      And Urbit's not just tech talk, eh? I might have to check that out. I just assumed that was a chatbox for you guys to talk about what you were doing, not a general chat for anyone to talk about anything.

      Delete
    2. I mean, I guess I saw that post. But I figured it'd be a bit more like paternal leave: a week to stress over the kid, and then back to stressing over work in addition to the kid.
      Maybe I'm underestimating the time that goes into keeping a baby alive. I mean, feed it, take it for a walk, lock it up, rinse and repeat. How hard can it be?

      The chatroom that urbit.org/stream shows you is urbit-meta, which is indeed our "let's talk Urbit & tech" channel. There's a fair few other channels though, like the barpub where most of the not-safe-for-meta talk happens (politics, philosophy, shitposting). I believe someone's also hosting a theology channel? Idk, maybe you're into that. Oh, and a literature channel seems to exist as well!
      You'll need to run Urbit yourself if you want to access those though, but might be worth the effort. I'm always here for questions!

      Delete
    3. Oh, my sweet summer child. I saw Brandon a couple days ago, for the first time in about a month and a half. He explained to me that this was to be his only free day for all of December. He also said he had gotten 3 hours of sleep that night, which was why he was feeling so unusually awake.

      He wasn't joking when he said it.

      Okay, Urbit expert. I need some help. What is an Urbit, and where might I buy one? Can I find one of those at Best Buy? If I ask the nice man for an Urbit, will he help sell me one?

      Alright, I'm just fucking with you. So the biggest thing that's stopped me from downloading this is that the install doc says Urbit runs on Unix or Mac OSX. I ain't got either. So what's my best option here? Dual boot? Virtual machine? Load Unix onto a Tamagotchi and act like I'm chatting over a super secret spy watch?

      [im]https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/-t8AAOSwVlVaHrHm/s-l225.jpg[/im]

      Delete
    4. Christ. And it's supposed to be... fulfilling or something? Sounds like he's just a slave to his evolutionarily-instilled desires to me.

      An Urbit box in the form factor of a Tamagotchi wouldn't be entirely unreasonable actually.

      A virtual machine with like Ubuntu or something on it would be easiest and allow most people to help you in case of trouble.
      Only a few people are actually running their Urbits on Windows, and they all use Docker to do it. I personally don't know all that much about it.
      See this Docker image: https://github.com/paulbellamy/docker-urbit/
      Or maybe this gist: https://gist.github.com/dougvk/54ec3304ef95ae5d45d2eb897f6c87e0

      Delete
    5. I still don't see the fulfillment. He gives me a huge smile while looking like he's just been in a 5 round fight and insists it's all worth it.

      Survival of the species is a hell of a drug.

      Logistically, I would put Urbit on my Fitbit or on my phone if I could. But for now, I'll play around with Docker.

      Delete
  2. ABFS:
    ---LOL...leave it to you (two?) to brighten my day and further shake my confidence in my fellow man.
    Naturally, that also includes EVERY ethnicity, religion, race, country of origin, gender, sexual preference, or alien status (I think that covers almost everyone).
    ---Looking for friendly people on the Internet (through social media)?
    WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???
    (Customer service on shopping sites is a good refuge...heh.)
    ---Still, there are some good folks left (most of them comment HERE).
    It's difficult not to let the holiday season turn craptastic.
    I keep enjoying the little things in life, because we're told they are really the BIG things.
    (we shall see).
    ---In the meantime, glad to see you back and ready to have at it (whatever "it" might be).
    Here's to the holidays. Raise a cold one.
    (or several)

    Stay safe (and always classy) out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alien status like immigrants, or alien status like are you a little green man or not? Or little green woman. Or little green nonbinary pangenderfluid nonconforming otherkin.

      Great, now I'm doing it.

      And you know what, you're right, the customer service chat on shopping websites ARE a good refuge. I think I had a better conversation with "John"* from Amazon complaining about a package that got delivered late than I did with some of my distant relatives at Thanksgiving.

      *John is clearly Indian and clearly not named John

      Delete
  3. I'm sure there are a few chatrooms still around, some where. I remember my brother showing me a few of them the first time I went online. Those were strange times.

    I've had a cold for the last 2 weeks. Feeling better now though. My brother and his wife are coming for a visit in a few days, Oh fun. I still haven't put up my tree and I stepped in dog vomit this morning. The day started off very well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you hold onto that cold for just a few days longer, you can give it to your brother/his wife, depending on how much you like/don't like them. Think of it like sending them away with an early Christmas present.

      And I know that pain. At any given time my floor is a minefield for dog and/or cat vomit. Good thing we have wood floors.

      On the bright side, your day can only go up from here. Or you could go to set up your Christmas tree, slip on another pile of dog vomit, and break both your legs falling down the stairs.

      I'm not a very good motivator.

      Delete
  4. I thought is was a vintage black and white tribute post. And now you tell me it's due to some big project? Slacker. 😂 I have a super, huge project too. It won't be done by January, I'm shooting for April. No one will know about it though because my alter-ego is doing it. [comment 1]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I'm considering just keeping up with the black and white, and giving a random excuse each time. My drawing tablet ran out of color ink. I got a black and white monitor for Christmas. I'm reuploading comics I drew back in 1936.

      Anything you can share about your super huge project? While I'm announcing mine in January, I'll be lucky if it's even done in 2018. I expect it to take at LEAST one year to complete. Maybe two.

      Delete
    2. This--My drawing tablet ran out of color ink. I bet if you tell people that they will totally believe you!

      Moving a ginormous website.

      Delete
    3. Good luck, and don't forget to lift with your legs.

      Delete
  5. Insect poop is called frass. You can never unknow that.

    Q: Why did the fly never land on the computer?
    ---
    A: He was afraid of the world wide web.

    [comment 2]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I groaned so hard I felt my spine pop.

      How about an insect bathroom joke to celebrate all of this frass talk?

      What is a bee with its legs crossed doing on the highway?
      Looking for a BP station.

      Delete
  6. I've never been in a chat room. Long ago when we first had the internet, I joined a list serve (don't know if that's the correct way to write it) about the late writer of The Little House books, Laura Ingalls Wilder. After a while, someone attacked me for being politically correct because I answered someone else's question about what being politically correct means. That was the end of that. I never joined anything again until I entered the blogosphere. I look forward to finding out what your big project is. Is your health insurance premium so much higher than mine because you're covering multiple people, or does the world like me more than it likes you?

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like you had all the experience that a chat room has to offer. A chat room's just much more immediate and real time with the chaotic fighting than a listserv.

      And my premium is higher because the world hates me and being young and healthy apparently means nothing. Also, maybe they figured out that the last time I cut myself I sealed the wound with superglue and didn't go to urgent care, and they're trying to make up all of this money they lost by me not buying their ripoff insurance over the past 3 years.

      Delete
    2. Please don't use superglue on your wounds. Come to me. Knock on the door. I'm a wound care superhero.

      Delete
    3. Sadly, I think the cost of airfare to your house and back, plus potentially paying for lodging for a night, is still cheaper than our current healthcare system.

      Delete
    4. You can use my supremely uncomfortable sofa sleeper.

      Delete
  7. Just got an update (semi ambiguous, very amusing) from my writing bud.
    As far as your post, I love the little msgs, because I loathe the people who drop by to tell me how informative I am. Idiots!
    Blogger used to have a "chatroom" - (it was called the "cafe", I think). I'm happily surprised to say that I made friends with a bloggy/writer there. But I think the whole thing's a scam. There wasn't any coffee.

    Good luck wrestling with all the insanity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Expect good (and not ambiguous) things to come very soon! Maybe. Well, possibly.

      And I can see why they did away with that, because a Blogger chat room doesn't sound any more enticing than a regular chat room. And any less likely to have creepers.

      Delete
  8. Nice post! Little lacking in color...
    Just kidding.
    Don't snap like a twig. That will make finishing that project really difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This post has me laughing hysterically! And whatever your huge, insanely ambitious project is, I sure hope it involves lots of sexual double entendres and innuendo.

    P.S. -- I'll have you know that I am NOT bald.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where do you get off implying that this huge thing, which I hope to satisfy millions, will have loads of innuendo?

      P.S. Is it hard, though, being only 12 inches?

      Delete
  10. Great post!

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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stole those from spammers at my other site.

      So if we here you snapping like a twig, should we run? Could mean one of those internet chatroom nuts has tracked you down and are after us next.

      If a Trump hater hates your first world problems, tracks you down and snaps you like a twig, and no one is around to here it, does it make a sound?

      Delete
    2. Hello,

      My name is John Fitzpatrick and I'm the website manager for DVDA Realty United Industries. I came across your comment and GREAT POST particularly caught my attention.

      I have written a post called GREAT POST that you'll find below. Since your blog focuses on GREAT POSTs, we thought this information could be a benefit to many of your readers. I was wondering if you would be able to help us spread the news and share this infographic on your website? Of course, if you would like something new and original, we have a whole team of in-house writers and editors at the ready to create something unique for your site so they can read all about GREAT POSTs.

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      Patrick Fitzjohn

      Co-Lead Website Manager
      www.dvdarealtyunitedindustries.com

      Delete
    3. 1) My sight is based on movement. If you hear twigs snapping, the best thing to do is just swallow the cyanide capsule and embrace your inevitable death.

      2) It doesn't make a sound, but it does get 7 likes on Instagram after being posted.

      Delete
    4. Damn, the spammer messed up his/her/its name. Must have been that GREAT POST!

      well I guess I'll stick to taking pictures of cashew jars filled with cat shit, they get 8 likes.

      Delete
    5. You know, the sad thing is that I pretty much just copy and pasted an exact e-mail that we got less than a week ago.

      No one ever accused spammers of being smart. After all, they're targeting poor bloggers like us, and if they had half a brain, they'd realize they're basically trying to squeeze blood out of a stone.

      Delete
  11. Refreshed and relaxed aren't words used by many people this time of year, so you aren't alone. No problem at our house, though, because we're old. When you're old, nobody expects you to do a damned thing anymore, and we're fine with that. The kids and grandkids carry all the stress of planning, and we get to just sit back, smile, and nod as though we can hear what they're saying... (Just kidding... sorta...)

    You've got plenty of "color" in your posts, no matter what kind of ink you use.

    Whatever your big project is, good luck with it. I'm sure it'll be YUUUUUGE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what you're saying is that I need kids and grandkids? To raise my own army to serve my every beck and call?

      I'm not sure if that can be ready by Christmas, but I'll damn well try.

      And thanks! My project is the best project. The very best. Everybody knows how yuge it is, but the fake news media is trying to tell everyone it's very not good. Sad.

      Delete
  12. Okay, so you really wanna hear about it? Well, I had an eye appointment today, which was a good thing. But it got cancelled because my "year between getting the frames" from my insurance doesn't hit till the 26th, which the optician called to tell me about 1 hour before the appointment- despite the fact that they contacted me no less than 3 times to remind me about said appointment before then. But that too was a good thing, because I accidentally tried to remove my brains against the iron crossbeam of a fabric a-frame that was designed by the criminally stupid, and I was concerned that a mild concussion and eye dilation might not be a good combo to drive with anyway. In the meantime, thank you for introducing me to Godwin's Law- although it seems to take a lot less time for me than Godwin postulated, and I end in hopes that I haven't just typed all this backwards do to the head injury (which is slight, but it doesn't take much to disturb a dozen neurons at best)...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have not yet made Godwin's law reality on this blog post, and I damn well intend to keep it that way as long as possible. My first mistake was probably just mentioning it, period. But still. WE CAN DO THIS.

      And ouch. If you wanted to remove your brains, all you had to do was go to a public Facebook post where someone is talking about politics. Forget the brain, though - if your eyes get knocked out while on the job, can they upgrade you to the Geordi LaForge as a way of preventing you from suing?

      [im]https://media.giphy.com/media/bpIWfYfOiHR3G/200.gif[/im]

      Just yesterday my wife almost burned one of her eyes out. Borrowed a friend's contact solution, put in a contact, and got pain so intense she thought someone put acid in her solution. Had to pry her contact out, run her eye under running water for about 10 minutes, and then called every optometrist around (which are all closed on Sunday, of course) to see if she needed to come in because she didn't want to go blind.

      Turns out her eye will be okay, and it's just sore today (it was red as hell yesterday). This is apparently a very common thing thanks to Clean and Clear, who make a solution with hydrogen peroxide that requires you to use their special case to 'neutralize' it, otherwise you're going to pirate yourself.

      https://www.nbcnews.com/health/eye-burns-linked-misuse-clear-care-contact-lens-cleaner-815989

      Delete
  13. I'm all for Friendly people on the internet LOL, Brandon. Your 1st "comment replies" reminds me of the sic guys at work! Pussyslayer and y0urm0m are real beauts- maybe its them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe there is a happily ever after to this story. Maybe Pussyslayer69 and y0urm0m run away, get married, and live happily ever after in a little condo in Florida.

      [im]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/595/521/413.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  14. MODELO NEGRA?!?!
    You phuqin' rasist! Only a homofobic Hitler with honky priveleges would joke like THAT! Thats disgusting!!

    Your a punk, your a dog, your a pig, your a con, a bulls*** artist, a mutt who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. ... I’d like to punch you in the face!

    Your an idiot!

    ~ SoycialistWithExtraWhippedCream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Modelo Negra is a lot like Modelo Especial, except that it doesn't have the same privilege... like the privilege of being in my refrigerator.

      Great, now I have beer guilt. Your welcome.

      Delete
  15. Now I'll never see the word therapist the same again. Thanks. You need to ease up on the business stuff. I find getting old is like regressing to childhood. If I don't want to so something, I get to say I forgot or didn't know how. Or that it was too difficult for me. And then someone else does it. Getting old is really the best time of your life. Going to see if the kids carried the Christmas decorations from storage because they're just too damned heavy for this old gal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe that's my problem. I'm like a shaved mullet - business in front, business in back, and business everywhere in between. I like working. I love my business. I never mind my own business. And if someone messes with me, I'll give him the business.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlKzA72PpxY

      Delete
  16. I envy you being able to cope with cooking for everyone. I know you enjoy cooking, but it is a lot of work. Not cooking for anyone extra this year. I'll post a funny picture on my blog tomorrow especially for you. Enjoy the barn baby celebration and mind that fat guy doesn't fall on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, that fat guy hasn't stopped by my house in years. Probably because I've been so consistently bad. I just buy my own presents.

      Also, I hope your funny picture isn't just a plaque with my name on it that says "World's Second Best Mac and Cheese."

      Delete
  17. I assume that you're going to announce that you're running for President.

    I'm supporting you, man. I'm afraid that some of your old blog posts could come back to haunt you, but you can always blame those on Brandon. Say you hardly knew him and that you had no direct knowledge of some of the questionable stuff he was posting.

    You're right: It IS ambitious, but long overdue. You can heal this country.

    Unless you disagree with me on any issue, no matter how minor, in which case, you're what is wrong with this country and you're Hitler.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm actually kind of horrified to realize that as of next year I'll officially be eligible to run for president, making a 2020 run not out of the question. Highly improbable. Completely idiotic. But certainly not out of the question.

      I hate Democrats and I hate Republicans, so I guess I'll have to go third party. But I mean, let's be real here, I may have a goofy past via the blog, but can I do any worse than this?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXhR41lsEJY

      Delete
  18. I would hate cooking for a ton of family. ...hate it. Lucky you, but hopefully it was fun..maybe. Christmas mayhem is already happening..spending, pushing, shoving while listening to that lousy chipmunk Christmas song. At least the fat guy only takes milk and cookies and leaves us gifts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best part about cooking for your entire family is being too exhausted to eat it afterwards. Wait, that doesn't make me feel better at all.

      On the plus side, they're gone. There's silence... for now. It's temporary, but I'm enjoying the quiet. No wait, I just got reminded of that chipmunk song, and now it's stuck in my head and I'm humming it. Want a plane that loops the loop... Me, I want a hula hoop...

      KILL ME NOW.

      Delete
  19. You sound very much like me this month. I'll be on and off my blog for the next few weeks. I have family coming in for the holidays, a grand baby arriving sometime in January, so who knows what that will do to blogging. And then I'll get to do some cool announcement too. Maybe. Or not. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A grandbaby! Whaaaaat? How cool is that! You know your announcement is badass when you just mention the grandbaby like it's nothing.

      Delete
  20. LOL! Thanks for motivating my friend Mary Kirkland, who was near death with that pesky cold. Nothing like all that stuff piling up at the same time AND having family coming over to hang out. May I suggest pointing them in the direction of the Hallmark Channel so you have some free time? Looking forward to the news. Hang In There! Hugs...RO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, my family's more of the Telemundo type, but regardless, I don't have TV service in my house. Which is great for productivity, but lousy for entertaining.

      Delete
  21. I am working on a new project that I’m dedicating myself to this month...but it’s just another book. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! You should use that in your marketing campaign. "Just another book."

      Delete
  22. Tell Brandon to hang in there. Babies are tiny but it's just a cute disguise so you ignore the fact that you truly have no life, no sleep, no clean clothes to put on your not-clean body . . . and somehow, we still think we want more of them.

    You're doing great as the single blog parent, visiting all of us and still taking the time to converse. You type extremely well for someone whose eyes have popped out, in fact.

    I'm going to cheer for your project even though I have no clue what it is. For all we know, you're remodeling your bathroom and it will benefit none of us, but I'll still cheer anyway because . . . GO, BATHROOMS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right now I type through a very elaborate Braille system. In my next evolution, I plan to speak only in memes.

      And you're not thinking big picture. Yes, I want my bathroom remodeled, but I want my readers to do that for me. Just wait until you see the GoFundMe I'm putting together. Crocodile tears everywhere as I explain that the only way this magical project can take off...is if you personally remodel my bathroom for me.

      Delete
  23. eek ack woot
    beep beepbop

    yeah
    brain fries

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always suspected you were a robot. Or should I say 100 1110 1 0011 01 101 1101.

      Delete
  24. Understood, my dude. Looking forward to the reveal. No pressure.
    [im]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/01/2c/27/012c27fc2e451a990e5e5e69a0ac4f84.gif[/im]
    Notice they don't mention how many dog anuses you've seen, which is 28.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That number seems awfully low. I mean, just for the holidays alone I had 7 dogs under my roof at once. That's 7 anuses in one day. Overall I'm pretty sure I'm triple digits now.

      Delete
  25. "I'm sorry, I do not make friends with midgets"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been talking to this 12 year old girl online for a few weeks now. She just told me she's an undercover police officer. That's really impressive for her age, isn't it?

      Delete
  26. Having an addition to the family is a never ending slide into babydom. It's where your other partner is focused on training that child to be a Beer for the Shower kind of kid. . .or maybe not. I'm curious about your project, but I will wait for the big reveal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God help that poor kid if he ever becomes like us. I wouldn't wish that whole 'starving artist' thing on anyone. Maybe he'll be a doctor. Or a lawyer. Or Tony Stark. Dream big, right?

      I've wanted to reveal this project sooner, but I want actual proof to show everyone, first. It's easy to just say "I'm doing this", have everyone say yeah sure you are, and then I look like a jackass in way over my head.

      I mean, I AM a jackass in way over my head, but I'm going to at least get this done.

      Delete
  27. I'll simply share a profound comment I received on a blog post displaying a drawing of a cactus that looked much more like a penis. "I love your funny flower."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who you callin' funny, bucko? - the cactus

      [im]https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a6/5a/c3/a65ac3ed7ce36493058abc9fe5f68036--random-pictures-funny-memes.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  28. Man up, you milquetoast! Don't be such a whiny wimp! Shove that 12" cactus penis back in your pants and give 'm hell!
    Nah! Just keep swilling the beer and everything will be all right. It's okay to abandon your family this time of year, too, and screw them if they don't like it. Go take a nap and when you wake up the nightmare will be over, until that first cup of coffee snaps you back to reality. If this makes no sense go listen to Robyn. Her words will actually help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having a Mexican mother-in-law in the house isn't conducive to naps, because I go lay down for even 30 minutes, and I come back, and she's done everything to try to be helpful.

      ..."helpful".

      By that I mean washed dishes are put in the wrong place (like in the food pantry), the furniture has been arranged for no visible reason, and my cast iron skillet is being washed with soap. Gobs of soap. Well, I guess I didn't need THAT pan anymore.

      Delete
  29. Oh boy! I'm looking forward to the big reveal. If it's a TV show, just know that I have years of experience acting out the scenes to Sleepless in Seattle alone in my car. Also, I've been put on the waiting list to play a tree at my local community theater. Not in a play or anything, just a tree outside the building. Just keep me in mind while casting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The formal audition is January 4th, and I'll be asking everyone to act out the diner orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally. Whoever can do that without turning beet red is my guy (or gal). Bonus points if you can insert dolphin noises without breaking character.

      Delete
  30. I know about that little twitch. I'm sorta feeling it this morning looking at today's to-do list. I'm eager to hear about your new project.

    I do remember chatrooms. I met my husband in one way back when it was creepy. He went to the page thinking it had to do with Magic cards because it was called The Gathering. I went to it because I thought it had to do with role-playing. Ah, geeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the nerdiest love story I've ever heard, and I absolutely love everything about it.

      I met my wife through online dating, back when online dating was creepy. It's weird to talk about it now, because I say we met that way, and no one bats an eye. But 8 years ago we told that story and people would say, "Wait, you WHAT? What if he was a murderer?"

      And yet nowadays people are just like man I'm kinda horny let me just pull up this cellphone app, pop on over to this complete stranger's house, and hook up.

      Delete
  31. Claps slowly**
    Looks like you are the top dog now with Brandon out of sight. It's a jungle out there and survival of the fittest is the norm.

    Jokes aside, I can't imagine the thrill of this big reveal running through your veins daily, eat, sleep, drink, and it's all you can think about. So I can only wish you great success and you can do this, you can achieve so much more than you know. That's my motivational piece for ya.

    Don't get me started on the spam comments, sigh.

    Till next time, keep your head up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, that was good motivation! And very true to how I'm feeling. This is going to be the most brutal thing I ever work on... but absolutely worth it.

      And hey, at least the good comments heavily outnumber the spam comments. Right.

      ...Right?

      Delete
  32. Totally understand. Although fair warning, I've never seen anyone come back from the "Too busy to post" sinkhole. Once it starts, the blogger inevitably announces their retirement from the internet. Hopefully you can ride it out though :)

    As for what's up with me, I'm currently putting all my spare time into getting onto the Australian version of Survivor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like a challenge. No, no sinkhole here. I truly haven't been on the Internet in the past 2 weeks, what with family here. I mean, I'd just feel like a dick if my family traveled 1,000 miles to be here and I spent that time thumbing through my phone like a zombie.

      January 1st. Mark your calendar. Well, I guess January 2nd for you, since you can time travel.

      And you'd better get on Survivor. What do we have to do to ensure that happens?

      Delete
    2. That's pretty fair. Unless your family went that distance so they could see what kind of phone you're working with.

      I actually already went forward to when you do publish your next post. January 1, 2045. It's amazing you managed to get wifi in that underground bunker.

      You know what, I would find it HILARIOUS if Endomol Shine Casting Australia (who cast the show) got an email from two fantastic, successful bloggers that they've never heard of got and email saying "Michael D'Agostino has to be on your show. Make it happen." Or even a persuasive Tweet

      Delete
    3. Ooh, we're gonna hound those guys so good for you. Hopefully it doesn't have the opposite effect by annoying them so greatly. Or maybe that's what triggers the global destruction that leads to this underground bunker. I wonder if they make greeting cards for that yet?

      "Sorry we blew up the Internet by e-mailing/tweeting too much."

      Delete
    4. Don't worry, if the Kardashians haven't social-mediaed the world into destruction yet, you two should be fine.

      Delete
  33. It is a bizzy thyme. :) Fur sure.

    Hopefully your insanely huge project isn't you've been building a rocket so you can finally get a [img]https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5e/Small-milky-way-package.jpg"[/img]. There ain't any.

    Have a safe and fun holiday season.

    P.S. Don't let the fat one bully you into getting on the 'nice' list. There's nothing worse than a quitter. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRO TIP: It's IM, not IMG. Here you go.

      [im]https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5e/Small-milky-way-package.jpg[/im]

      And it's cool; I don't have a chimney, so if Santa wants to get into my house, he's going to have to come in through the front door, like everyone else, where I'll be waiting, armed to the damn teeth.

      Delete
  34. Wait a minute... His project is superior to yours?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He thinks so, anyway. I mean, is it truly blogging if you don't have at least one smug comment from some know-it-all who thinks he can do what you do better than you can?

      Delete
  35. Wow! You think your project is huge? I woke up this morning and got out of bed. How's that for insanely ambitious? And it's raining too.

    Seriously, here's wishing you much success with your project and Happy Holidays to you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, no, see, I can do this project from my bed, so you still win by a mile. Thanks for the well wishes and the support, though! You have a great holiday season, too.

      Delete
  36. Well, I’m nearly finished with grad school. Just another 2 week’s and my class work is DONE and then one more semester of externships (yes, I spelled that correctly), and then I’ll graduate with my Masters degree! I know, what the hell was I thinking taking on something so crazy as grad school, right? But you know, I don’t regret it. Not at all.

    Also, I’m trying to put some New Year’s Resolutions together. I’m thinking of keeping them super achievable. You know, stuff like: “Eat more cookies”, “Watch more Netflix”, and my personal favorite: “Change your name and move to Mexico”. It’s still a work in progress, but I feel good about it!

    Happy Holidays to you! Eat more cookies, and whatnot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but do they accept your Masters degree in Mexico? How many pesos is that worth? And since you're already this deep, when are you going for the doctorate?

      Man, your great grandchildren are going to be so proud of you when you finally graduate. *sniffle*

      Delete
    2. I’m sure they need Speech Language Pathologists in Mexico, but if I go for the whole “new identity” thing, I’m going to leave my former life behind entirely and run a dive bar near Baja.

      Nope. No doctorate for me. I’m DONE!

      Delete
    3. Well, congrats! If I may butcher the English language a little - you done good.

      [im]https://media.giphy.com/media/XreQmk7ETCak0/giphy.gif[/im]

      Delete
  37. You know Bry; you should never post such graphically appealing incentive for a technologically challenged old fart to toss the computer out the window. How would you get my highly intelligent conversation?? Hmmm?????

    I managed to skip the family time surrounding the BIRD by being out of state and working. I may have preferred being home in the rain and too close quarters as opposed to the beautiful 90 degree weather in Arizona - which brought out hordes of crazies opting for hot dogs and deep fried burritos at 2pm in the travel stop. Sick sick sick people. I've been tired of "the holidays" since July when they replaced the firecrackers with strings of lights. Even the dead did not get their usual maimed justice.

    My big project is not pulling out all my hair before I see what 2018 serves up. Not that I'd miss the gray hairs, but there just isn't enough brown strands left to even comb-over.

    Is it over yet?

    Good luck with your ambitious project. I'm sure you will succeed if the proper beer is burped. And good luck with the second round of family - hopefully they are not all related to the fat man. I'm off to visit Candice up there cuz you know - COOKIES!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I'm an idiot because all I did was toss my big screen TV out the window. My computer, in that scenario, would have been just fine.

      Wait, deep fried burritos are a thing? I can't tell whether I'm intrigued or disgusted. Probably both.

      My gray's already coming in, so maybe I'll ask the fat man for a Christmas miracle and to pray the gray away. Or... I guess just a box of Just for Men.

      Delete
  38. Ha. Bryan’s zombie expression as the computer is thrown out the window! Those comments at the end CRACK ME UP. Hmmmmm. Which one am I? Probably most like Knitting Dude. And dude. See? Definitely intrigued by this super spectacular seriously sneaky superior stimulating project. More deets please!!!! And I’ve got nothing. Just fake cheesiness as I live life in sort of a mundane state, being the tortured cliche writer. Yanno. The usual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You say that, but your Instagram is 1000% more picturesque and inspirational than mine is. One of the last things I uploaded was from a year ago when my cat was hiding in my pants.

      [im]https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s640x640/sh0.08/e35/13108602_261114680903942_1666470056_n.jpg[/im]

      Are you inspired yet?

      Delete
  39. I am shocked at the internet thing. It's usually a refuge of compassion and love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I retreated to Twitter, my safe space, where all of those loving people embraced me with their warm words.

      Delete
  40. Good luck on your big project whatever that may be. I just finished writing my first novel, so my big project is now editing it. Something I have never had to do before so I have no idea what I am doing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Writing is all about crazy firsts. After editing it you'll need to try to pitch it, or publish it, or market it... all things that most people have no idea what they're doing going into it. I still don't know what the hell I'm doing and I've written 7 of them.

      Anyways, back to my project... something else in which I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

      Delete
  41. I see that you're used to people misspelling your name too. "It's with a 'y', as in, 'Y can't you get that right?'"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just devastating to know that even big-name Bryans like Adams and Ferry couldn't do enough to spread the Good Word™. I'll most likely be Brian, Brain, or even Byron until I die.

      Delete
  42. As a general rule, the internet is a terrible place. It's no mystery that I have also been busting my ass (just not on writing because I'm a horrible human being). But recently I've found that the more stressed I am, the less I can stand getting on social media. Recently there's just so much venom and hatred and anger and stupidity that it just makes it worse. ><

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, social media can ruin my day, too. Sometimes I can read something so stupid and/or venomous that instead of being able to work, I'll just be wondering how such idiotically angry people can exist. And before I know it, my day is gone. So I nip that in the bud by just not being on social media at all. My productivity, my IQ, and my (dwindling but still existent) faith in humanity thank me for it.

      Delete
    2. Flat earthers. I have genuinely wasted HOURS fighting them. It's really not healthy. To the point I've considered just removing myself from Facebook and such all together.

      Delete
    3. A better punishment might be for you to just march off the sharp edge of the earth into catastrophic eternity.

      (I'm sorry, I had to)

      Delete
  43. Brandon's baby is making it tough on everyone! Dang kid! Why doesn't he just sleep? (Don't worry. He will. In about 13 years. When he's a teenager, that's all he'll want to do.)

    Good luck with the big project.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't know how happy Brandon will be to hear that in only 13 short years he'll be able to sleep again. Just the very thought of that exhausted me, so I'm gonna go take an irresponsible midday nap.

      Delete
  44. the excitement is building.... wait that's the burrito I had for lunch reminding me to use the facilities. I mean that's exciting too, but in a very different way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Birthing a great idea is not all that different from birthing a Taco Bell burrito and anyone who says otherwise is not thinking outside of the $5 combo box.

      Delete
  45. Hang in there, bud! Holidays are TOUGH. Families are HARD.

    *pause*


    I think I need a hug. Someone find me my cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine has never left my side. She even has a designated computer chair right next to mine, as well.

      [im]https://i.imgur.com/pox6V5E.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  46. Maybe you need to start drinking 12 Diet Cokes a day. It does wonders for your brain. Good luck on your really big project! Since I'm usually late for everything, wishing you an early Merry Christmas!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, people have already been wishing me a Merry Christmas since late November. Maybe next year we'll see Christmas decorations in July.

      I had to Google that 12 Diet Cokes thing to see if there was a reference. Ah, there is. Glad to see the mainstream media is still reporting on what matters.

      Delete