Monday, May 1, 2017

Being a Girl On the Internet Is Hard When You're a 33 Year Old Man

I have to tell you guys, as a man that runs a pop star's social media accounts, I put up with a lot of stupid people. And creepy people. Except, people isn't quite the right word, because it's always dudes.

ALWAYS DUDES.

Many of them are complete idiots. And because of that, part of my job is to help guide these stupid, slobbering mouthbreathers, in the hopes that they'll somehow check out Pop Star's music. A real exercise in futility.

Take, for example, a recent instance in which she collaborated with this top influencer on Instagram (who we'll call Sex Idiot, because Instagram is not a smart place), and he's known best for dancing around shirtless. Like I said, Sex Idiot. Well, Sex Idiot uploaded a video of him dancing to Pop Star's newest song, Koinz, as a way to spread her music to all of his followers.





So, in case you were wondering, half of my job is now explaining to stupid people basic information that was in front of them the whole time.

And it really takes everything in my power not to reply to them, "Gee, why didn't someone add that much needed information to the description? Or add it to the lyrics of the song? Or add it to the post itself? It's like this girl doesn't even WANT to sell songs!" But I can't. I just have to cheerfully tell them the song name, and then assume that someone so stupid they can't even discern the name of a song that's all over a post will somehow go to a digital music store (without getting run over by a truck - yes, it's digital, but these are VERY stupid people) and buy that song.

Spoiler alert: it doesn't happen. But I have to at least try.

Sadly, though, that's not the worst of what I deal with. No, it's definitely the creepers.



If you made your way through that without cringing yourself into a seizure, congratulations. You're stronger than most, probably an Internet veteran, and it should crush your soul to learn that you've become completely desensitized to this kind of creepiness. Good job.

The amount of creepy messages that Pop Star gets could fill an album, and do keep in mind that Pop Star has made it her goal never to dress slutty as a cheap way to get Likes. And yet, for all of that, she can post fully clothed pictures of herself with completely innocent captions and STILL receive digital disgustingness from complete strangers, who for some reason think that the 33 year old man running her social media account would love a free dick pic as a 'thank you' for being attractive to them.

Seriously, she could upload a picture of her elbow and these creepers would still make it weird.





So now that I've been a woman on the Internet, I concede to you ladies out there - being a woman on the Internet is absolutely awful. I have no idea how you do it.

I mean, I couldn't imagine just posting to my Instagram account as a man and getting that kind of response from women.





Women on the Internet... how the hell do you put up with this bullshit?

Cheers and stay classy, friends
Bryan (and Brandon)

Music: Neon Indian
Beer: Dust Bowl Taco Truck Lager



107 comments:

  1. LMAO I used to get unsolicited dick pics but I set my fb profile to private. I only have 162 friends and only about a dozen male friends. lol Twitter I've had to block a few guys that wanted me to be their dominatrix...O.o *Snaps whip*

    But these days if I get a dick pic I send back a picture of a sausage being torn asunder by a big knife. That usually does the trick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh, so, do these guys assume you're a dominatrix because of your avatar picture? Because I don't go over to your blog and see your adorable Raturday pictures and think "I bet that woman loves to crack her whip at a man while stepping on his balls with spiked high heels."

      Delete
    2. I assume so but I always thought my avatar pic looked more Horror movie than dominatrix. I was friends with a couple of dominatrix's on Twitter so maybe they just assumed I was too. If I tried to walk in spiked high heels, I'd probably fall and break my arm. lol

      Delete
    3. I once knew a girl who got hit on online because the picture she drew for her avatar looked 'hot'. Imagine that, hitting on someone because the picture they drew, which may or may not even be them, was somewhat attractive.

      The desperation is real.

      Delete
  2. That is absolutely scary. Thankfully I've only dealt with a few creeps that I immediately blocked. Atari joystick? You'd think she'd say something more like the Guillemot Thrustmaster USB Joystick. So much bigger. And hey, I met my husband on the internet too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! I didn't put that much thought into comparing the size of phallic joysticks, but I appreciate your input. Just as long as it's not literal input. That's an instant GAME OVER.

      [im]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9nA3Q2HtiU4/Umyv_nxVbsI/AAAAAAAAO08/Uh_g-VXxV_Y/s400/mario-dead-donkey-kong.png[/im]
      (Mario, having just taken a Thrustmaster to the ol' plumber's chute)

      Delete
  3. For some reason I am not surprised in the slightest. This won't be offset until she builds a bigger female audience, but even then 50:50 is about the best you'll likely get. There's a reason it seems there's so few women on the internet. They can't be "open" about their gender identity without receiving shit for it.
    The internet's anonymity causes weird things. Urbit will help fix this, but we need a societal change to go along with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, she has a giant female audience. Maybe even 60:40 split. I just didn't need to mention them because they usually aren't that stupid and they definitely don't send dick pics.

      And you know, some of the guys that do this, like both examples above, were sent from their personal Facebook/Twitter accounts, so there was no anonymity there whatsoever. It adds an extra layer of creepy to it, really.

      Delete
    2. Then that's the social aspect of the needed change. We need to teach people this is *not okay*, and then we also have to teach them how to feel shame. The whole "you bring shame to your family" thing suddenly doesn't seem to stupid.

      Delete
    3. It's also kind of sad to think that with just how common this is, it's pretty easy to say, "Well, everyone else is doing it, so it's not THAT stupid and embarrassing, now is it?"

      Delete
  4. A lot of men think they are put on Earth as 'God's gift' to women. Ha. They must have been hiding behind the door or in the toilet when brains were distributed. . . Ok, had to say that. By not having an actual pic, but rather an avatar, I seem to avoid that problem. The idea of a stone hard statue seems to cool that ardor. Beside Sekhmet, my avatar was known as 'she who must be obeyed' and 'Mistress of Slaughter'. I like Mary's solution, though,for those who persist. It's refreshing for a male to acknowledge the dangers of idiocy on the internet. Do you know the song, 'Idiot Wind' by Bob Dylan?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMzcwlmhfws

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see now why a lot of women just use avatar pictures and not their real selves. Which is just crazy to me, because I don't care if anyone knows what I look like. But I'd probably care if I got constant vag pics from rabid creepers.

      Idiot wind
      Blowing every time you post a pic
      Blowing in the form of an unkempt dick
      Idiot wind

      Delete
  5. As the world's foremost expert on pretending to be a woman on the internet (hey, everybody needs to find what they're good at), this really hits home with me.

    I was shocked at some of the things I was emailed early on. Some of it was lessened when my later character was a strange-looking lesbian, but not as much as I might have hoped.

    It's really changed the way I approach interactions with women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I recall you mentioning that before, about Katy getting unsolicited dick pics. And that blows my mind. It's one thing to send a dick pic to a straight woman (which is still awful), but what kind of idiot thinks "I bet I can convert that weird looking lesbian to straight just by having her take a gander at this marvelous, perfectly sculpted schlong"?

      Delete
  6. I must be totally out of the loop, but how does one ride an atari joystick? Probably better I don't know.

    My soul was crushed a long time ago, I just roll my eyes at such creepiness now. Saves me money on seizure medication.

    What do these people think? Are that that disgusting in the head that they think any of this crap would even work? I'd never want to be a woman, fake or otherwise, on the internet. You have more will power than me, as I'd have to go all smartass with every one of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First you have to plug it into the port, then you have to blow on the cartridge, and then you finger the power button.

      Man, video games are gross.

      And yes, it makes me wonder, has this ever worked? Was there just one unbelievably lucky guy who sent out a dick pic to a complete stranger, and the girl replied with, "Yes, that's awesome, come fuck me now!" and ever since sharing his story, all other guys have been trying to replicate it (unsuccessfully)?

      Delete
  7. What did these guys do before the Internet when they could be anonymous?
    And where are all the creepy girls to give the guys comments?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There ARE creepy girls on the Internet.

      They just happen to also be men.

      Delete
  8. I'm wondering if your wife is TamponTunnel or MeatSocket. But that's not my business. All your pet terms are realistic and humorous ("meat puppet," etc.) And yeah, why any woman wants to see (or why men think any woman wants to see) a dick pic? Yuck. We just want the guy to hurry up and stick it in so we don't have to look at it. Welcome to our world, BnB. Thanks for bringing decency. It's a novelty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, she's BabyCanyon (not pictured). There were a LOT of comments on that post!

      I don't think either variety of genitals is exactly a work of art. It makes me wonder, would one of these guys want a picture of something that looks like a drunk starfish smushed against a glass wall sent to them?

      No, wait, don't answer that.

      Delete
  9. [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8a/21/47/8a2147f4e266e8d5f9191c3aa3907522.jpg[/im]

    ReplyDelete
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    1. [im]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/683/048/572.jpg[/im]

      Delete
    2. Grannie: "Who you think you gonna please with that little thing?"
      Little thing guy: "My SELF."

      Delete
  10. That's why I stick to the relative safety of the blogosphere -- it's the backwater of the internet, unlike trendier social media such as Facebook and Instagram -- and is largely composed of middle-aged or older Baby Boomer bloggers who have a greater tendency to be polite. In my experience, blogger trolls are more likely to be pissed off about politics and feminism than anything else.

    But you're right -- the internet can be a vicious and horrible place for women (especially young women) to use. So go on, trolls, tell me again how we live in the post-patriarchy now where women rule and we have all the power . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh, well, maybe if women want equality, they just need to start sending dick pics of their own. Fight fire with fire.

      (This is why I'm not in politics)

      The blogosphere definitely has a more friendly, tame atmosphere than everywhere else. I don't think I want to know how these Instagram/Facebook/Twitter perverts would react to your hands-in-the-fingerless-gloves picture.

      Delete
  11. That's nasty.
    Really, what more is there to say. Okay, there is a lot, but I think I summed it up pretty darn good. 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, I don't think this needs to turn into a 10 part symposium on the art of the dick pic. I think you summed it up perfectly.

      Delete
  12. Hey, man, I wanna suck yer beer bottle!
    I wanna ride your taco truck!
    I want your twelve inches in me!
    .....er-- I mean, ounces. I want your twelve ounces in me!

    Look, what I'm trying to say is... I'm a little down on my luck and REALLY NEED a cold beer. Could you loan me one (or 6) until I'm back on my feet?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip34k5IUnjU

    ~ D-FensDogG
    [Link:) Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet nothing's more disappointing than when a woman says she wants a huge bomber and gets stuck with a little tiny Coronita. A one sip Chip.

      [im]http://www.highwycombetavern.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/coronita-1.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  13. Wow. Just like Martin World News with people you actually have contact with instead of Boris Johnson and the Grand Poobah of Tajizhikistan...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're saying that Boris Johnson once sent you a dick pic as a thank you for posting about him, I guess I'm saying that I could see that being plausible.

      Delete
  14. "my job is now explaining to stupid people basic information that was in front of them the whole time" <--- that is like 80% of my job.

    I try to be as low key as possible when it comes to the internet. Praise the Lord I've never received anything really horrible, but in my brief attempt at online dating [NEVER AGAIN] I had my fair share of messages from men who really just could not grasp that I (1) was not interested at all; (2) shirtless photos of you will not change my mind; and (3) continuing to send me messages will also not change my mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that the world is slowly just becoming a real-life Idiocracy, I'm convinced that in the not too distant future, all jobs are just going to be reduced to smart people explaining obvious things to stupid people.

      So... your future employment is most definitely secured?

      True story: when men think I'm playing "hard to get" because I'm turning them down, I then have to break it to them that I'm just a 33 year old dude running her account for her because she's a Pop Star with a very busy life. You're more than welcome to steal that from me.

      "Okay, dude, seriously, I'm just Mich's intern. She hired me to screen her dates, and right now you sending a 33 year old man constant shirtless pics is getting a little gay."

      You'll never hear from him again, guaranteed.

      Delete
  15. I get shit like this from guys on fb messenger all the time. It makes me wonder if these guys have had success with this at some point or if they are just that dumb.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figure it's like those stupid spam comments we get on our blogs, that are in absolutely atrocious English and link to something really, really stupid like cheap medical supplies from India.

      All it had to do was work ONE time for everyone else to suddenly think, "This is a great idea! Let's all do this!"

      Delete
  16. I've received some creepy, nasty comments on my blog, but thank God, no dick pics. And no, that's not an invitation for men to send me photos. I don't feel ignored or left out. But of course, this garbage isn't limited to the Internet. So many women endure disgusting comments in the workplace.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn. Not safe on the Internet, not safe at work, not safe walking down the street. You're really not selling me on being a woman, here.

      And if you think about it, I guess I technically AM a woman enduring disgusting comments in the workplace.

      Alright, probably not.

      Delete
  17. I always figured there must be something wrong with me, I was never harassed at work and I don't get obscenity in my mail box (no I too don't want any thanks).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I guess that means you haven't been getting my harassing e-mails, letters, and phone calls? Gee, it's a wonder I even bother sending them at all.

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry, did I miss them? Or does my spam folder actually work?

      Delete
    3. Hey, I'm not spam. My mom says I'm a great guy.

      Delete
  18. Sorry for sending those creepy messages. Uh . . . you know how some things seem funny at the time, and then you kind of regret them later? Mmmmm yeah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I was just impressed by its size. You really should see a doctor, though. I don't think it's supposed to be that color (or bend in that particular direction).

      Delete
    2. Maybe if I send a picture from a different angle . . . and I'm much more impressive in dim light. The bend is a genetic defect, and thank you very much for pointing out a painful feature it's taken me years of therapy to be proud of.

      Delete
    3. Oh God, what if these poor souls weren't trying to hit on Pop Star, but instead were just trying to receive some much needed validation for their shrimpy and/or genetically defected wangs as a way of finally overcoming massive psychological trauma?

      You've given me much to think about. And much I'd rather not ever think about again.

      Delete
  19. I got a few friends who use dating apps and have a constant influx of dick pics. It's always fun to come up with responses.

    "Oh, I wasn't aware you knew needlepoint. What are you stitching?"
    "I'm in a need of a new turntable needle. You interested in selling?"
    So on and so forth...

    But I'm sadly not surprised. I've met people who certainly have the capacity to act this creepy, though they've never openly admitted to sending dick pics. That should be Ed Hardy's official slogan, "Nice to meet you, here's a picture of my dick."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's awesome. Maybe I'll create some of my own for the future.

      "You should get that mosquito bite looked at."
      "You'd better be careful. Someone might accidentally step on that thumbtack."

      Delete
  20. "unsolicited dick pics" is a great tag for this post. Yeah, creepers are gross. The best (worst) tho is actually the guys who yell WELL IF YOU DONT LIKE IT GET OFF THE INTERNET! DONT RUIN IT FOR ALL OF US! (I'm looking at you, breitbart).

    Oh, I'm soo0o0o0o0o0oooo sorry for ruining your fun boy internet by being an actual human being with thoughts and feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Breitbart sends you dick pics? That doesn't seem like legitimate news to me.

      Didn't you hear? The Internet is "NO GIRLS ALLOWED." It's like a boys' treehouse. Don't screw this up for the rest of us, k?

      Delete
  21. You don't get hazard pay, do you? You should be able to write-off your internet wifi costs based on your business expenses at the very least. Why is it always dudes who are so creepy? Don't they know to masturbate BEFORE commenting on the internet?
    [im]http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/creepy-guy.jpg[/im]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The tax write-offs are awesome. For example, I'm going to get a sweet tax write-off for this laptop that I'm going to burn and replace with a new one because a dick pic sullied its now shattered screen.

      Delete
  22. Yep, its amazing we ever give you guys the time of day - let alone marry and breed with you MEN. Aaargh!!!

    I gotta go clean out my eyeballs now . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, not all of us send dick pics. Just, like 99% apparently. The rest of us terrorize our wives in plenty of other ways. We're fun like that.

      Delete
  23. Oh yes....I have dealt with this when I volunteered for the distress centre. There are the BSC...or Bogus Sex Caller. I was informed about them but also we are to help people....well, let's just say when I found out he used my voice for..welll, you know, I went to the washroom and washed my ear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. That sounds beyond horrible.

      [im]https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder322/37010322.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  24. Some of us do the smart (wimpy) thing and open anonymous social media where we don't post pics that include ourselves!

    On my actual personal social media, I only friend people I actually know. Not a single one of them have sent a dick pic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If wimpy means you don't get dick pics, then I would like to officially declare my status as a wimp.

      My close friends and family don't send me dick pics, either. Maybe they just don't love us enough?

      Delete
    2. Eww... Thanks for making me actually think the words "I don't want to see my brothers' dicks!"
      Ugh. Can I wash my brain?

      Delete
  25. Makes me wonder how our species manages to reproduce. Some women MUST get talked into something, but for the life of me I can't figure out why.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reproducing has just been reduced to swipe right on your phone, meet up, bone. I mean, it IS efficient, but I don't know if you're going to get quality babies that way. Or a quality husband/wife.

      "Yeah, I saw grandpa's meat hammer, and I just knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And the rest is history."

      Delete
  26. Which do you think came first? The creepiness that led them to send dick pictures which meant they would never get to know a real woman? Or that they never knew a woman so they became desperate and creepy? Or do they are being charming which is an entirely other level of icky? They're mothers must be so proud. And have you vowed yet that no daughter of yours will ever be permitted to use the internet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, getting all philosophical on us. I have no idea. But I do get the idea that the first guy I talked to up there thought that he was genuinely being charming (she does music, he offers to talk music with her, wow so clever and charming), so it just adds extra layers to the sadness and epic fail.

      Delete
  27. B&B:
    ---Truth be told, we ALL deal with a LOT of stupid people these days, no doubt provided that condition under the auspices of our technology, which seems to get further away from us as time moves on.
    ---"INSTACRAP"...ROFL!
    Right up there with the rest of the "social-media"...
    ---Yeah, it's hard work having to take mankind around by the hand like a 2 year old...heh.
    ---When it comes to desensi5tization, it's NOT just on social media...it's life in general (and all the creepiness that comes along for the ride).
    Today, people ignore behaviors,. attitudes, and criminal activity that, decades before would be considered (dare I say it?)...DEPLORABLE.
    We "get used" to seeing it all w/ the 24/7 news cycle.
    But, creepy is STILL creepy, and predators are STILL predators.
    (we've just allowed them a new means by which to BE creepy and predatory)
    It's a bad path to be walking down, that's for sure.
    An excellent post as usual.

    Stay safe (and classy, but not in a virtual way, mind you) out there, guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, desensitization... that's like a whole other post all its own. Nothing like a video of some poor person getting beaten/murdered while everyone just stands around, looking on like, "Huh, how about that." Maybe recording on their phone for YouTube. You know, because views.

      Delete
  28. Its scary realising this world is full of crazy people. I wish i could keep myself from biting my fingernails off but I Know i can control these urges, really I can, I just need some help. B & B you really shouldn't be encouraging me to have these stress episodes but its vitally important for everyone here in the Beer community to understand - I am breathing fine now and i am not the crazy guys here. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just realized something of my own. What if all these times I've been uploading pictures of myself to the Internet, people have only been paying attention to my badly bitten fingernails? And they're all laughing about how awful and jagged my fingernails look, and my hands are now the butt of a long running joke that I've only now realized?

      This is a LOT to deal with.

      Delete
  29. Sometimes, by the the end of the day, I feel pretty beat up. I'm mostly on Facebook and Twitter. It's different on each, but it's all the same. Makes me wonder what these people are like at home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Between Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, I'm surprised I have any trace of soul or brain matter left over to keep using.

      Delete
  30. I actually received an unsolicited dick pick a few years ago via my blog email account. And it was from someone who seemed pleasant and appropriate when he would leave a comment. I wrote and told him it wasn't appropriate and although I was gay, I was still married gay and it was never going to happen. Surprisingly, he apologized, never did it again, and soon disappeared from the blogging world (at least under the name I knew). I'm sure women can't get rid of them that easily. (Anyway, I have no idea who he thought he would impress with THAT ugly thing.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, is no one safe? And here I thought the blogosphere was a dick-free zone. I guess not.

      Maybe like how they have those gun-free zones, we need to design a sign (a dick with a slash through it) to declare our blogs as designated dick-free zones.

      Now if only that would work.

      Delete
  31. One day there's going to be a story of a dude who managed to seduce a gorgeous pop star by contacting her on social media. That will set off a chain reaction that will effectively end the entertainment industry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean, if I found out there was even the SLIGHTEST chance of seďucing Taylor Swift over Facebook, you wouldn't see me come out of my bedroom for at least a year.

      Delete
    2. And you'd do all that, knowing you'd most likely be the subject of her latest breakup song. You brave soul.

      Just, you know, make sure it IS her. Don't be this guy.

      [im]https://pics.me.me/if-you-ever-feel-stupid-this-guy-on-catfish-thought-17826624.png[/im]

      Delete
    3. I feel like the fact that the site was named "Catfish" should have been his first clue.

      Delete
    4. For the record, I'd take being lambasted in one of her songs in exchange for having sex with her. As long as the song wasn't about how bad at sex I am.

      Delete
    5. Catfish is the name of an awful reality show here where they investigate people who are in online relationships with fake people. If you haven't heard of it, count your brain cells lucky.

      Delete
    6. Yeah, but what if "One Minute Michael" had a REALLY catchy beat to it?

      Delete
    7. Actually that does sound familiar. I suspect I'd be both interested in and ashamed of that show at the same time.

      I'd be thankful that she was so generous.

      Delete
  32. Guys are such perverts. What's wrong with guys anyway? And I don't mean all guys. Not me at least. But a lot of guys. Me excluded.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My rule is that it's not perverted if she's your wife. Grab a stranger's boob and go "honk-honk"? Absolutely disgusting, you vile pig. Do that to your wife? Never not amusing.

      (Anyone reading this thinking I'm still somehow a pig and 'oh my poor wife', she does "honk-honk" to me too, and then cackles in amusement, and it's NOT my boob)

      Delete
  33. When I first started blogging, I posted a picture of my feet in the sand at the beach. No big deal, right? Wrong. I kept getting emails from this dude telling me how sexy my feet were. It was so gross. Ugh!

    FYI, I made the big move away from Blogger and can be found at:

    Elsie Amata


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun fact: they finally caught on, but a while back, if you Googled pretty much any celebrity name, 'feet' would be the first thing it would auto-suggest. I guess a LOT of people are into that thing. Yeah, I'm with you. GROSS.

      Delete
  34. When I first got on Facebook, I got some creepy dude that liked how I looked and wanted to be my friend. I made it so friends were the only ones to be able to message me. Now, they changed it so anyone can send me one. I don't care if it goes to my "other folder". I still get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still get those "other" messages, too. Now, mine aren't as creepy as that, but I still hate the idea that there's a folder of messages from "women" named something like Anna Smith trying to tell me she wants to make sex with me in my local area. I liked it better when that shit just couldn't even get through.

      Delete
  35. Pop star is lucky to have you looking out for her. It is pretty frightening to think about how vulnerable young girls are today. Our photographer had a hard time shooting a group of high school girls for a charity event, because one of them was falling out of her top last month. He had to position the other girls to help cover up her décolleté. I don't know why her parents let her go to school in the morning dressed like that, when it's just asking for trouble. Pop Star does the opposite and still attracts creeps. You just can't win.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, Pop Star is young, but it's not like she's a little kid. It'd be especially horrifying if she was, say, 14. But no, she's a grown adult. CEO of her own business. Attends things like business meeting and gives presentations.

      She's WAY more grown up than I am.

      Delete
  36. Without going into too much detail, I've been a girl on the internet. It's just one more reason I hope to God I have sons instead of daughters. Nothing against girls, I just don't want to be worrying about them that much. Hopefully Pop Star can keep some of her innocence and dignity, at the expense of your sanity. Still, it's what we're supposed to do for the next generation.

    Level with me though; how many dick pics have you had to look at?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really, really hope your reason wasn't something like this.

      [im]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/163/262/147.jpg[/im]

      And the amount of dick pics I've seen I can count on one hand, yes, but isn't any number greater than zero already too many?

      Delete
    2. I physically shuddered at this.

      Delete
    3. Just know that of all the women you've ever spoken to over the Internet in your lifetime, even in the most innocent of matters, at least ONE of them has been this guy.

      Delete
  37. I just wonder bow many of these dirty comments and messages are from Bill Clinton.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Knowing the Internet, I'd say it's probably a 100% chance he is all of them.

      Delete
  38. On the bright side, women are catching up. I chaperoned our football team's car wash and those young men got their fair share of cougar harassment. You've got to love equality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, it's not weird if we're ALL doing it. You don't like a dick pic? Well, here's a picture of some lopsided, 50 year old flapjack boobs. Equality!

      Delete
  39. Yep, that's what it's like to be a girl on the internet. I game online a lot and it's worse there though lol. One time some guy somehow found my Facebook, and started sending me dick pics, so I told his mother and sent her the pictures. I tried to get rid of him and that was pretty effective

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    Replies
    1. That is brilliant, and I may need to steal that idea the next time Pop Star gets something creepy in her inbox.

      Delete
  40. Maybe all men should be required to spend some time online as a woman...? No, that sounds as if it would go horribly wrong.

    (Been out of town, I'll get responses to your comments on my blog as soon as I can.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you want to know what the guys who go on the Internet pretending to be women do. Trust me, it's not about learning lessons.

      Delete
  41. That was...so physically painful to get through. Each paragraph was progressively more difficult. And then I got to "moister than an oyster" and I fucking lost it. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if you can't make yourself laugh while you're getting sexually harassed on the Internet under the guise of being a woman, then what's the point, right?

      Delete
  42. I know a lot of women who just don't go on twitter.

    I never post pictures of myself. It's too scary!

    Even not posting pictures, I still get the occasional dude who really wants to be my "friend."

    Mostly, though, I get geeks of all genders who really want me to read their manuscripts. Like I'm a publisher? The internet is strange, no doubt. (I'm not a book publisher.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As evident by this post, there are apparently men who will go after a woman because the cartoon avatar she drew of herself was "hot". I've also heard of guys who have gone after women because they assumed, just because of her name, that she was hot. Maybe some of those "friends" think Shoshanah is a really "hot" sounding name?

      This is how guys think (apparently). Don't ask me to explain it. I guess that deductive line of idiotic reasoning skipped me.

      Delete
    2. I have a theory that 99% of men in America are normal people, basically, and like one percent or less are actual perverts, but the one percent consider it their full time plus job to bother women on twitter, and they have five or more handles each exclusively for that. The thing I can't figure out is WHY?

      Delete
    3. All it takes is ONE single success, over the course of a lifetime, for ONE of these guys, and the rest will keep doing it for ETERNITY. Guaranteed.

      Delete
    4. Damn. You're right. Sad face does not express my sadness about this.

      Delete
  43. I'm laughing and disparing at the human race all at the same time.

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    Replies
    1. Humans have always been awful, but it wasn't until we received the Internet that we realized just how awful everyone really is.

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