Wednesday, March 22, 2017

#27 - Hahahaha OMG I'm Dying LOLOLOL



I mean, yeah, you're probably bleeding out a little in your dungeon basement prison, but let's not act like you're literally dying, you big exaggerator.

So hey, don't be afraid to be honest. As amateur webcomic artists who also double as Internet users, we totally understand. When someone says, "I sniffled under my breath in laughter at this comic," we take that as a huge compliment, because that really means something!

And so there's no need to tell us that you sprayed your monitor and your keyboard and your next door neighbor with vomitous, coffee-splattered, open-mouthed donkey braying, because that doesn't sound like a compliment. That sounds horrifying.


114 comments:

  1. I smirked, mildly amused by your shenanigans today.
    That work?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I chuckled. And as I fumbled a funny comment, I fought with my auto-correct over emaciated and emancipated. So two very different things and only one applies to that last panel!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, it kind of applies. That kind man in the background emancipated her foot from her leg?

      Delete
  3. This new season of A Beer for the Shower is not as good as the fourth season.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have to admit, it's still better than the third season. A time-traveling taco? A cross-dressing broom? A guest appearance by Scott Baio? What were we thinking?

      Delete
  4. I want my obituary to say "literally died from a blog page"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIP Adam. He died doing what he loved - laughing at blogs until he stopped breathing and agonizingly choked to death in front of his loved ones.

      Delete
  5. WOW! While reading this blog bit I literally pee'd my pants!

    Not because it was all that funny, mind you, but because I have a bladder control problem.

    (In the past, I may have left out the bladder control issue, and having not given you enough information, you may have thought me to be The Exaggerator. I'm really very sorry about that! ...Well, I mildly regret it, to be mo' litraly honest.)

    ~ D-FensDogG
    Check out my new blog @
    (Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's okay, because peeing your pants is cool. And I think it's important to be trendy with your incontinence problems.

      [im]https://media.giphy.com/media/QmnH7zI6iu2oU/giphy.gif[/im]

      Delete
  6. I laughed under my breath where no one else could hear me. I felt compelled to tap this response out on my keyboard while thinking of what I might make for lunch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too am a multitasker of thought. I say this while wondering if I even HAVE lunch available. You're one step ahead of me.

      Delete
  7. I smiled and ignored the rantings of a nearby nutball as she went on about "her" hockey team winning 5-4 because she wished it. Hmmm on second thought, maybe I didn't ignore her so much. Pick it up guys, I need to spit my water out in her continuously yappy face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, we totally dropped the ball. My apologies. Next week's post will be so hilarious that you'll be guaranteed to spray scalding hot coffee all over your annoying coworker's smug little face. Third degree burns will teach her to wish for hockey outcomes.

      Delete
  8. I scratched my ass while reading this. Honest enough for you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course! We love to know how we touch our readers (or bring them to touch themselves).

      Delete
  9. I couldn't find a smirk. My lip might have twitched, but I'm not really sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too, am dead on the inside. You'd think comedy would help, but... Not really.

      Delete
  10. I never LOL, or at least not very often. And I definitely never FOTFWTOLRDMF.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If FOTFWTOLRDMF becomes an actual acronym that people use, I would FOTFWTOLRDMF on a daily basis, just to say I did.

      Delete
    2. Now I can't remember what it stood for although I invented it. The first part is Falling On The Floor.

      Delete
    3. Oh! Just ask my terrible sense of equilibrium! I can do that, no problemo.

      Delete
  11. B&B:
    ---I've since given up having ANY liquid or solid food in my mouth (or even close by) while reading your posts.
    (yeah, I get tired cleaning stuff up...it's a "man-thing" and not to be confused with the old marvel comic character).
    I personally enjoy the way you touch your readers (and haven't gotten arrested yet...Nah, I'm just messin' with you.)
    You go right ahead and make us laugh.
    Lord knows in this day and age, we can use every guffaw, chortle, and giggle-snort we can get.
    Thanks.

    Stay safe (and always a bit "touched") out there, guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just can't have food near my computer because the last time I shook out my keyboard, I had enough crumbs to make a casserole.

      Delete
  12. I'm joining the smirkers in mild amusement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Considering most things on the internet barely can even make me smile, I still say that's worth a lot.

      Delete
  13. I think my right eye may have twitched. LITERALLY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You might want to get that looked at. Literally.

      Delete
  14. I kinda paid attention while I played Laurie this week's M10. #Honestysucks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So the more important question is, what's the M10?

      Delete
    2. Check out my Time Machine posts on Friday. My top ten, the requirement being they are songs I never heard previously. This week a song from 2012 is at the top, and both 2 and 3 are from the sixties.

      Delete
    3. Ha! Well, I guess I suck at words, then.

      I know what your Time Machine posts are, and even if I don't comment on all of them, I do see/listen to them. I've found some great new artists that way. So let me rephrase my heavily condensed question: "So the more important question is, what songs have found their way onto the M10?"

      Delete
  15. I may tend to exaggerate on occasion, but I did not laugh at all at this post. I nodded in agreement so many times that my head literally fell off of my neck and rolled across the floor. You guys are literally responsible for my head trip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [im]http://www.cgarea.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/01102.jpg[/im]

      Delete
    2. Just find you a nice man who'll hold it for you when you're not using it.

      [im]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k5YuYSaK81M/UOs4msGXvbI/AAAAAAAA7ms/Glhl9YbM8m8/decaptados%252520do%252520passado%252520casal_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800[/im]

      Delete
    3. Great idea. I appreciate that you're thinking about my happiness. I'd look for him, but he has my eyes too. Let me think about this one. Wait, can't do that either. Damn. There's always a catch to finding a good man.

      Delete
    4. Men: the good ones are either handicapped or gay or already have possession of your eerily severed head.

      It's a tale older than time, really.

      Delete
  16. I'm to late to qualify for lets be cheesy today, at least you're leaving me something to nibble on. Hmmm yum that was fun! lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nibble sized humor is what we're all about. You want a full bite? You've got to pay for that. NO REFUNDS.

      Delete
  17. I raised my right brow in droll amusement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's your left brow got against us?

      Delete
    2. Then I hold that brow in higher regard, for its brutal but fair honesty.

      Delete
    3. I don't want it to get too full of itself. ;)

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. For some of these things, especially the abbreviations like lol and lmao, they just sort of become part of the way you speak. I luckily don't have it for entire sentences though, my life is big enough an exercise in exaggeration-comedy as is.

      Delete
    2. I feel like that could be a post all its own. My wife no longer laughs. She literally just says 'LOL'. Sometimes she even draws it out, like 'lawl'.

      I wonder at what point in human evolution will laughter become irrelevant, and we'll all just be parroting acronyms when we're amused.

      Delete
  19. HI HI. That's how amateur radio operators indicate laughter in Morse code, because the 4 dots, 2 dots, 4 dots, 2 dots done in rapid succession kinda sound like a titter. What's annoying is when operators SAY HI HI to indicate amusement. So I won't say HI HI. Or LOL or ROFL... but I DID smile. The corners of my mouth literally lifted. Especially at some of the back-and-forth banter between you and your commenters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww yeah, a genuine smile beats a cheesy HI HI any day. Not that I've ever heard of such a thing until now, but it still beats it soundly. So thank you.

      Delete
  20. This was so funny, I literally killed my grandmother.

    That's a thing, right? TWSFILKMG?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It might be. Regardless, your comment made me so angry that I shat my pants in fury.

      I mean, let's not kid ourselves, that's definitely a thing.

      Delete
  21. I did laugh my ass off....literally, it rolled off somewhere and now I can't find it. Oops, now my freaky captors heard me...I wonder what they are going to saw off next?.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, I know, isn't that the worst? I hate when I just literally laugh my ass off.

      [im]http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/lmao-literally.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  22. Haha...fun! And lol at comments!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Admittedly, the comments are where the real fun takes off. We have some very twisted friends.

      Delete
  23. I farted because of this post. It was fart inducing. . . Okay, that's an exaggeration, I sharted.
    [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9d/4c/41/9d4c414e037f85a03b44b859a29beeef.jpg[/im]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is absolutely horrifying. Let's break that down mathematically.

      [im]http://www.sarahpsalmon.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Shart.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  24. It's something you see all over the internet really. I guess we're smarter than the average internet user, but we'll still get caught up in the hype of exaggerating just how funny something is.

    It's either that or remembering how sad and alone we are.

    Which is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you ever seen that study that says that people who think about death and pain more tend to be funnier? Because it doesn't make me feel any less sad or alone, but at least I can laugh about it.

      Delete
  25. Hey! If I tell you I literally LOL'd than I literally LOL'd. Are you calling me a liar? Cause if you are, I will literally reach through this screen and punch you in the face! Literally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am literally calling you a liar. I'm also figuratively calling you a liar, so when you figuratively reach through my screen, you'd better be ready for a figurative slap down.

      I have no idea what any of that means.

      Delete
    2. I am literally clueless right now. And figuratively. Literally.

      Delete
  26. I smiled knowingly at an item that had a passing resemblance to my own life experience.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I never write LOL, unless I actually LOL. Someone usually asks, "What's so funny?" I usually say, "Nothing." Literally.
    If I snort coffee all over my keyboard I am not LOLing because I have just fucked up my keyboard and my nose hurts. It's not pretty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One time I was laughing so hard I had coffee come out of my mouth, and my nose, and my eyeballs, and my wrists, and I think I may have been experiencing comedy stigmata.

      Delete
  28. I shrugged witg much indifference, however the humour and message of the comic resonated within me.

    I then figuratively literally projectile vomited at the choice of discriptive language chosen in this comment.

    I am deeply ashamed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We enjoy making people laugh, and giving them a message they can connect with, but we also enjoy disgusting people with our vile words until they choke on them in the backs of their throats like literal vomit.

      [im]http://i.imgur.com/lMDZrqx.png[/im]

      Delete
  29. I just took a big dump and now I feel better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm drinking enough coffee to kill a horse and that probably still won't give me sweet rectal relief. Not yet.

      Delete
  30. Exaggerate? It's called drama, you know for effect. It's like saying, 'don't run all over Creation', or 'it included coffee and everything. . .'(everything = a vague reference so I don't have to name what everything includes). There is always a perceived need here to come up with comments that match your awesome cartoons, so we try. . .this day's art work had me saying, 'hmmm-mmm'. Is that subtle enuf?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take it! I know a few people thought we were being serious about this comic, but it's purely just a joke. People can say whatever they want, as long as it's not 'nice post'. We just always have to raise a suspicious brow whenever someone says they painted their office in coffee-splatter.

      Besides, things get way more fun when people start random conversations with us. Much better than 'this was funny!'.

      Delete
  31. But maybe they really are dying, and you should call 911. You might end up saving their lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god, I just realized I'm an asshole. I have probably murdered so, so many people with my neglect.

      Delete
  32. When I read this, I started laughing so hard that my facial muscles seized up, and I ended up just ripping my own face clean off of my head, and then I held it up before my eyes and as I stared at my own disembodied face staring back at me, I started howling in full blown insanity until I ripped the rest of my head off my neck and drop kicked it into a storm drain with the last twitching muscles in my decapitated body.

    I might have made a few grunts and chuckles too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guffawed at this comment with such violent force that I actually coughed up my own skeleton. It popped right out, and now I'm just a melted puddle of flesh, heeing and hawing as I slowly seep into the carpet.

      Delete
  33. My lips twitched twice. The comments made me smile. I got another cup of coffee though it's nearly 8 pm so I could stay awake. Feel better now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The comments always make us smile. So does an 8 o'clock cup of coffee. Really, it's not hard to please either of us.

      Delete
  34. I laughed a little inside my head at this then moved on.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I think the woman in the dungeon chose to remove the wrong foot.

    Amusing, but I will not be losing sleep over it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like how you assume she hacked her own foot off. Meanwhile, the guy standing ominously behind her is her caretaker, just wishing she'd stop harming herself.

      Delete
  36. To be fair, "tears are literally streaming down my face" doesn't seem like much of an exaggeration. "Tears are collecting in my bathtub to a point where I can submerge myself and numb the screaming in my head." That's probably not an exaggeration either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or "I've been in this tub so long that the ratio of pee to tears has probably tipped in the favor of pee." I can see that.

      Delete
  37. Now you've done it...you've confused people with pointing out the correct use of "figuratively" vs. "literally". Personally, I don't want people being too honest in their comments unless it's filled with praise. I would rather huge exaggerations directed in my favor as opposed to someone telling me they were "not amused" or indifferent. I prefer to live in a world where people literally laughed their asses off at something I said. Big asses are overrated, anyway.

    As for you guys...I literally LOL reading your posts. Thankfully, all body parts are behaving themselves and nothing is dying, falling, dripping, dropping... (well at this exact moment, anyway.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, the dynamic of comments. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, right? Too much praise, or too much honesty? Ultimately, we'd just prefer a good conversation. Those are always way more fun than 'this was so funny!' or 'great post!' We just like to know what everyone is thinking.

      Today's conversation, apparently: how much ass is too much ass? Let's pass things over to Sir Mix-A-Lot for comment...

      [im]http://www.cuteculturechick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/sir-mix-a-lot-baby-got-back.png[/im]

      Delete
  38. But aren't we all literally dying? Great--now I'm depressed. Thanks a lot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but the bees are dying at an alarming rate and could spell extinction for us all. You're welcome for that fun fact.

      Delete
  39. I just fell of my chair and needed a drink.

    Yes, I really needed a drink.

    That milk hit the spot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The milk will help rebuild all the bones you break from falling. Good idea!

      Delete
  40. I sat here staring at my screen with a blank stare. My wife came over and tapped me to see if I were still alive. I slowly turned to my tepid coffee, lethargically lifted the cup to my mouth, and took a sip. "Yuk! Why do I drink this crap?" I thought to myself. Like a dull-witted computer zombie I moved on to another blog post.

    How was that? No exaggeration or hyperbole involved. Just boring old me too early in the morning.


    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And after that, the nurse you kept calling your wife took away the toaster you were trying to type on and spoon fed you your pudding for the day (which was laced in crushed up pills)?

      Delete
    2. Mmmmm! Pudding. And pills. I'm a happy camper.

      Delete
  41. It's annoying when people say "literally dying." If so, you'd be dying...as in you'd be dead soon. Literally. Not figuratively.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, in a sense we're all literally dying... just very, very slowly.

      Delete
  42. Beer sucks, so I won't be drinking it in the shower anytime soon, but I totally love your blog 'cause you make me smile. Hugs....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! Beer does suck! Big fan of showers, though.

      Delete
    2. Psssh. If beer sucks, then why does it always insist that I'm handsome? And a good dancer? $9.99 for a 6-pack of liquid confidence beats cleaning yourself (overrated) any day.

      Delete
  43. See, i've just adjusted my expectations to what I think they actually mean:

    ha: go fuck yourself
    lol: this sucks but I dont want you to feel bad
    hahahahha/lolololol: I'm actively smiling
    HAHAHAH LOL OMG OMG OMG: *chuckle*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget these.

      Haha: I don't get it, but I don't care enough to have you explain
      Heh: I'm passive aggressively showing you contempt for your humor through half-assed laughter
      Hehe: This may or may not be funny, but I'm about to say something really creepy when I hit on you

      Delete
  44. Anything I might have said has been surpassed by your more clever commenters, so I'll have to settle for figuratively dying at the thought of literally dying and then typing about it. How does that even work?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, we have to take drama to the next level. For decades now we've been saying things like, "Ugh, I'm dying!" and "You're killing me!" Now we've stepped up the game by saying "You are literally killing me." It's not correct in any sense, but it makes for good dramatics, I guess?

      Just thinking about this comment literally gave me brain cancer.

      Delete
  45. I have to admit I did grin at the images and a thought crossed my mind. How do they come up with this stuff?. I then pondered my reply and
    that is my story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't want to know what's going through these weird brains. But "thanks for the grin!" is one of the more normal thoughts we might collectively have (hive mind, you know).

      Delete
  46. Years ago, a local Bay area radio station gave money to people who called in while they were having sex. Now there's a thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We live in a society where people would probably have sex in public for a free cheeseburger.

      Delete
  47. I'd take any sort of recognition for my work. A cough in my general direction - I'll take it. An accidental glance at my stuff over someone's shoulder on the bus - bring it on.

    ReplyDelete