Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Meet My Pop Star and Win an iPad. Or Don't. I Don't Really Care.

Hey guys. Bryan here. I've teased before that I'm the social media manager for an up-and-coming pop star, but haven't been able to tell you much outside of a few anecdotes, and I haven't yet dropped her name. But now I finally have permission from the boss-lady to introduce her to you guys and tell you a bit more about what I do.

My job is wonderfully weird. For example, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that pop stars are very busy people with very busy lives, so while Pop Star does pen her own social media posts, I'm ultimately the one in charge of punching them up, fine-tuning the spelling/grammar, and posting them for her. And sometimes, when she's not available, she'll ask me to respond to fans for her. As her.

Which is fun when you have no idea what the hell these slang-spewing children are talking about.

(You can hardly tell I'm not her, right? RIGHT?)

I also advise her on things like what she should and shouldn't post, since, believe it or not, there's actually a right and a wrong way to post on social media.

Example of a good tweet:
Sooo excited for you guys to hear my debut album! I put so much hard work and love into it!
Example of a bad tweet:
Say what you will, but that Hitler guy had some pretty good ideas.

What some might call impersonating someone else on the Internet, I call expert social media crafting. Or something like that. As I once tweeted from our recently resurrected ABftS Twitter account...


I also am the first line of defense for comments. Now, Pop Star has a pretty thick skin, but we all know how vicious trolls on the Internet can be. We leave up constructive criticism, but I make sure to delete blatantly nasty messages and comments before Pop Star can see them and have her remaining innocence shattered by learning a whole dictionary full of new swear words, along with the things these people would do to her (via these swear words).

And then my soul withers just a little bit further and I weep for the future of humanity at the things people are capable of saying to a complete stranger on the Internet who means them no harm whatsoever.

You know, just another day at the office!


black belt in internet commenting




It's a fun job, though. And Pop Star is great because she's not a slobbering idiot who's more concerned about her set being alabaster white instead of eggshell white. She's smart, and she's really business savvy, and not once has she asked me to pick out only the blue M&Ms for her. That has to count for something.

Meet SR.


If you haven't heard of her, that's alright. Like I said at the beginning of the post, she's up-and-coming. But the up part is definitely there. Her new single is currently #15 on the Billboard music charts, trailing just behind Britney "How the Hell Am I Still Relevant" Spears and still climbing. If you haven't heard of her yet, you probably will soon. And I'm partly to blame for that.


Below is the music video that inspired this wonderful post about the world's worst music video shoot and how I got banned from Adele's studio. Considering how horribly that all went down, the music video turned out pretty well.

Now, if you're fans of ours, then I don't have any delusions that you're going to love this type of music or love this type of video. I don't think I have to tell you that Brandon and I don't sit there in our free time cranking this kind of song up to 11 while we dance along with the choreographed video. But at least you can see the end result of the video shoot and see what she's about, and if you're feeling feisty, jump over to YouTube and leave a comment and tell her that ABftS sent you. She'll probably get a kick out of it.


Also, she's doing this Facebook contest right now to get the video some more exposure, and she told me that I can open it up to my readers. First place is an iPad Mini 4, second place is some Skullcandy Bluetooth Wireless Headphones, third place is a $50 Amazon gift card, and fourth place is the first loser. All you have to do is Like/Share/Tag a friend/Sacrifice the blood of a newborn babe.

Well, minus that last thing.

In case you're wondering, this isn't some kind of scam to get your information, and SR will not be calling you to set up an appointment to sell you a timeshare in Aspen. It's just a cool way to get her video some more likes and shares and all of that digital nonsense that we humans glorify as holding any sort of meaning.

And if this song isn't your cup of tea, then torture your hipster friends with it until it gets stuck in their heads like an earworm-style brainbomb. Tag your parents or grandparents as punishment for being on Facebook in the first place, and make them try to figure out what the hell 'tagging' is as they reply in embarrassing messages that they don't realize are public. Or tag your favorite 1990s D-list actor so they'll be tricked into thinking they're relevant once again.


Or don't. It doesn't really matter to me. But I figure if someone's gonna win some free shit, it might as well be one of you classy folks reading this blog and not some random assface teenager*.

*apologies to any random assface teenagers that stumbled upon this

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)

Music: The Midnight
Beer: Four Noses Honey Nut Beerios


122 comments:

  1. It's only creepy if she didn't pay you. Or you paid her.
    That's cool you're doing media stuff for someone who isn't shallow and brainless.
    Now that you've let the world know you help monitor her social media, don't be surprised if some pervert propositions you through her...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't a guy just be a guy with a mop wig and solo cup boobs posting as a woman on the Internet without getting propositioned for something creepy? Yeesh.

      Delete
  2. I actually liked and commented. It's not awful! She actually has talent,I'm unsure if she's using it wisely. Because the girl can spit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's still figuring out what works and what doesn't, so if spitting is what she's good at, I'll demand that she spits more (just not in my eyes).

      Delete
  3. Let's hope such teenagers don't stumble upon this, you may get some unwanted solicitation that is creepy lol

    Good that she has a brain, pretty pathetic what such idiots write on the internet behind their computer monitor. Can't say the song is my cup of tea but the video turned out way better than I would have guessed from your other post.

    Classy folks? One thing the cat is rarely called.

    And yeah, good not to tweet about that Hitler guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That video should have been a damn dumpster fire. Good for her for stepping up and fixing it (she did that all herself, mind you).

      And give yourself some credit. I'd say you're way more classy than any assface teenager or grungy Internet troll. Not that that's saying much, but it counts for something.

      Delete
  4. >>... we all know how vicious trolls on the Internet can be

    Oh, c'mon, I'm not vicious. A little irritating maybe, but not vicious.

    "Solo cup boobs"... isn't that a bit of a contradiction?

    (I think my inner James Dean just died a little more. Ha!)

    ~ D-FensDogG
    Check out my new blog @
    (Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand that you don't like her music, but do you have to give her death threats every single day? Give me, like, just ONE day off, man! I feel like a digital janitor dealing with your shit.

      Also, they call them solo cups, but they sell them only in packs of 100. What's the deal with that?

      Delete
    2. I will never understand how someone can feel compelled to send threats to some pop star they have never met and [hopefully] never will meet...

      Delete
    3. Yeah, right? I hate Justin Bieber just as much as the next person (and admittedly, he deserves that hate for being a douchebag), but I have never once felt compelled to pull open a fresh e-mail window and then verbally diarrhea every nasty thought I've ever humanly had in his general direction.

      Delete
    4. They call them Solo Cups because of the little known fact that they were the favorite beverage consumption vehicle for Han Solo.

      Delete
  5. Not bad at all, good luck to the two of you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it's not the two of us. This is all her. I'm just along for the ride.

      Delete
  6. >not waxing your legs and wearing a corset and taking it all the way
    It's like you want to be found out about.

    Despite the video feeling a bit out of sync with the lyrics here and there, that's a good music video. Interesting commentary on the large divide between the rich and poor and how modern capitalism pushes us to glorify that which we cannot have. "They say talk is cheap so why sing about these KOINZ?" Very subtle how she doesn't actually answer her own question, again referring to the poor classes' unwillingness to admit their poverty to maintain a facade of the only thing they have left: status, even if it's earned through cheap booze, fake bling and monopoly money.
    10/10 would analyze again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jackpot, bitches. Your analysis cashes out all of the hoes. 10/10 would read again.

      And I'm a modern woman, thank you very much, so I don't need your ridiculous standards of beauty like leg shaving and corsets and mustache waxing. I'm a beautiful hairy woman.

      Delete
  7. Sounds like fun job, entertaining too. But I imagine those evil trolls can be taxing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It definitely is fun. Even learned a few new swear words. Gonna have to incorporate those into my next novel.

      Delete
    2. I didn't think about it, but you are privy to all the cool new slang out there.

      Delete
  8. That's gotta be one of the most enjoyable jobs EVER. If she makes it big, you can rightfully say you played an important role; if she doesn't make it big, at least you're still getting paid... and she doesn't sound like a pain-in-the-butt diva. Good luck to her... and you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I think she's going to make it big, so I look forward to cashing out many hoes for years to come. It's either that or grow up and get an office job, and that's just not going to happen.

      Delete
  9. I like that you delete the nasty messages and comments before she can see them. People can get very mean on social media, especially to celebs.

    Her song is very catchy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." - someone who's never seen what an Internet troll can conjure up.

      Delete
  10. That sounds like a pretty sweet gig. I'm at work now, but I'll be sure to give the song a listen once I escape. I can get behind pretty much anything that isn't country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I look forward to giving you immense shit for secretly liking it and listening to it only in private, like some kind of musical drug.

      Delete
  11. Oh, Bryan. That is tough, TOUGH, drag. *shudder*

    I wish SR all the best but I am very, very old and do not know how to "like, share and tag" -- at least not in the way I assume it's meant here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't know how many dresses I tore through trying to shoehorn myself into that thing. I really don't know how drag queens do it.

      I prefer liking and sharing things in real life, so you're not alone there.

      Delete
  12. B&B:
    That's very cool that you're a social media MANAGER, Bryan...who knew we'd ever need them (raises hand)...okay, who ELSE???
    And your "managee" is quite the looker.
    Yeah, I can't do the Soc-Med thing (blog excluded), because I hear too many horror stories (and none involve Freddy, Jason, or Pinhead...yet).
    Still, you got a good gig going on, and I hope it does well for you.
    I will take time to give that song a listen.
    Can't wait to hear what new cuss words you've come across...lol.
    I can't even imagine what they could be...seriously.
    (thought I knew the lot of 'em)

    Great post and glad life's being good to you, Bryan.

    Stay safe (and classy) out there, guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think picklesmoocher is my new favorite. It's so simple, but always makes me giggle.

      If you've been lucky enough to escape social media this long, DON'T GIVE IN NOW. IT'S A TRAP.

      Delete
  13. I was thinking this was a parody then it turned out to be an actual promotion.
    The song is actually pretty catchy.
    And you guys know how to market these things lol :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know most of what we do seems like parody, but I promise that we never lie about what happens to us in real life. Truth really is stranger than fiction (and we somehow learned how to market that weird truth).

      Delete
  14. I like it! It's not something I'd find on my own, so thank you for the introduction.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh shit, new fan alert! I guess somebody's getting a raise!
      (Probably not)
      Glad to hear you like it, though!

      Delete
  15. That's really cool that you get to do that. I left a reply on her youtube video. Not really my kind of music but she does have talent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's rather nice of you! Thanks! I'm sure she'll appreciate that. My quarterly review is going to be fantastic (if I had one of those).

      Delete
  16. I think she's going places. It's like I know her on my second cousin's aunt's boyfriend's former neighbor when he was six kind of way. Congrats on a great production. Shared the Facebook.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's kind of a weird bragging right, isn't it? Wear that long winded badge with honor, comrade! And thanks! Every little bit helps.

      Delete
  17. Did I read that right? This was a result of that nightmare video shoot on the West Coast? Because that video came out great. Even I liked it and it's not my kind of music. I even gave it a thumbs up on Facebook. Gah! Did I just turn into a pop music fan? Seriously, great job on accounts. She's got a fantastic voice: strong and melodic and she can dance well too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, by the time I'm done with all of my readers they'll be pop fans! You're just the beginning! But not me. I'm way above that kind of thing.

      (Hides that I'm tapping my toes beneath the desk)

      Delete
  18. Whew! What a fun/crazy job! I'm shocked by some of the vitriol that goes flying across the internet. Seriously, it's like some people have no filter if they're not face to face. And even then. *shrugs* I worry about the future generation too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it wasn't for anonymity on the Internet, there wouldn't be any tough guys at all.

      Delete
  19. Well, you warned me...

    In my defense, I have openned my musical tastes up quite a bit. But... as much as I'd love to have you tell her, "Your jams made the M10", I don't forsee it happening. Still, a nice, professional job. Take whatever credit you can!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate the honesty, and I take credit for none of it. Music is not my thing. I just make her look good on social media.

      Delete
  20. Wait! What if I want to buy a timeshare in Aspen?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, those are all under construction for the season while President Trump builds a wall to keep out Snow Mexicans.

      Delete
  21. For the style, it's not bad-if I were still young enough to be allowed in dance clubs I could see myself doing the "white guy shuffle" to it.

    I'm not sure what makes one pop song succeed over another these days since they tend to be cut from the same mold. Maybe the clever title will do the trick.

    I wish her (and you) luck-I did go "Like" it on FB but since I have no idea what "sharing" or "tagging" means, I guess I don't win one of three prizes. Oh well.

    LC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's actually given me a great idea. I've got the perfect pitch for her. Don't be surprised if her next single is called "White Guy Shuffle."

      Oh wait, maybe that's a terrible idea. I don't know what makes pop songs succeed either, clearly.

      Delete
  22. I will have to listen to her music later since I am at work (shhhhh) but it must be quite the interesting job...and scary one to review her tweets and everything else social media minded. It must, at times, just freak you out with some of these nutjobs who decide to rant. You know they live in their pajamas watching porn in the basement while yelling at their 90 year mom to keep it quiet. Now if only you would be hired by trump to look over his tweets before he sends them off

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can handle an intelligent woman's tweets about her daily life. I don't think I could handle Trump's tweets. Just too much for me. SAD.

      Delete
    2. (That was my awful attempt at impersonating a Trump tweet, btw)

      Delete
    3. Obviously, you have seen enough of his tweets to have a tweet impersonation down pat. SAD (haha) I think Birgit is right that you could be a great asset to our government by over seeing Trump's Twitter account. I bet you could really see some nasty comments there.

      Delete
    4. If I had to deal with the vileness that people are slinging from both sides, this would be me after approximately 2.5 hours of managing The Donald's Twitter account - flesh melted CLEAN off my face, brain melted into a little pink puddle.

      [im]http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/5/5d/675249-crypt_keeper_large.png/revision/latest?cb=20160110153816[/im]

      Delete
  23. Wow. It's like that movie The Bodyguard, but with ... like ... a lot more inventive swearing and internet trolling.

    "And Iiiiieeeiiii with always keepyoufromreadingthatpeoplecalledyoubimbopicklesmoocher."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, except instead of me valiantly carrying her, she's carrying me because I'm a human shield and my body deflects all of those vicious wordjecticles. Also, I think I just created a word.

      Delete
  24. Haven't had a chance to watch the video, but I will. Not much into modern music though so.... but she sounds like a real nice person. Hope all goes well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'm not either, but I'm assured by many that it's great modern music. Anyways, back to the same old crap I always listen to. :)

      Delete
  25. I left a comment earlier but don't see it here. If it's duplicated I'm apologizing now. She's definitely got the talent. No doubt. It's not my kind of music but that's irrelevant. Also, when you figure out what these slang-spewing children are talking about, please let me know. Maybe then I can have a real convo with my grandkids. Right now I get "ya" or "no". Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the first time we're seeing your comment, so thanks for submitting it again! Currently I speak a little bit of youth, a few words of rapper, and I'm fluent in meme. I think I need a Rosetta Stone for all of this stuff.

      Delete
  26. Now that I know you speak for her online, I can't help but see her as an avatar of sorts for you. Like you do the movements and singing but it shows up as a blonde woman.

    You should have her start an online beef with Azealia Banks. That would get attention in the music press.

    Other than that, the only thing that video lacked was Adele trying to chase you guys off set with her fist in the air, and maybe looking slightly offended by the lyrics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I DO have a pretty fantastic falsetto, if I do say so myself.

      And unfortunately, I already started a beef with Shia "The Beef" LaBeef, but he has yet to respond. I think it's because he's in jail.

      I am NOT going to be getting that promotion this year, I don't think.

      Delete
  27. It's not my choice for music, and the choreography is the usual bump and grind and flip the hair type. At least there's no dancing pole. However, I wish her luck in her pursuit of fame. I wish you more luck in being her media manager. The whole point of not understanding the rhetoric of the youth is that they do not want to be understood. BTW, Are you telling us that you can think like a girl, if you're answering her emails - eh? That could be an advantage. . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope there's never a stripper pole. I don't know how I can positively spin that. Yep, I guess I can think like a girl, which either makes me great at my job or sexually confused or a sociopath. Let's just call it the first one.

      Delete
    2. Yep, sounds like a good resolution!

      Delete
  28. "Hey I have a newborn chi...Aww man, he's not serious. But an iPad is way more valuable than my lil leach."
    Adolf Titler Bimbo Picklesmoocher is for sure my new drag queen name, unless you've already claimed it as your online persona.
    if she has hired you AND knows about this blog, she has to be a pretty cool employer. It sounds interesting for sure.
    By the way, had to Google Adolf Titler, was not disappointed.
    [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/75/28/ba/7528bad15cbc6faac0d676b0856dc850.jpg[/im]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, those are a glorious pair of tetas. Adolf Titler Bimbo Picklesmoocher is all yours, pal. All I can think about are those oddly curvaceous dirty pillows.

      Also, don't forget that we did our own rendition of ye olde Titler once upon a time ago. Mine is... much less sexy.
      [im]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fI3L68tIits/UDFOKWc-ppI/AAAAAAAAGZ8/3luY75UleY4/s1600/Titler.png[/im]

      Delete
  29. If she wanted to make it big, why a name like SR? AJ, DJ, AC, are names I can understand. It's not DR Pepper it's SR Pepper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We conducted a 1,000 person focus group and women aged 18-32 all conclusively gravitated towards SR. The only other name that came close was Poppy McPopface, but that wasn't one of our ideas. We don't know how that snuck in there.

      Oh, also, SR is just her real life first/last name initials.

      Delete
  30. I know a ton of people who like pop music so I'll send them her way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't. Maybe I'm not as good at this job as I thought I was.

      (Oh, and thanks!)

      Delete
  31. I'm glad you're having fun with the job, and she's lucky to have you on the team. It's weird that people send vicious emails, though. Too many crazies out there. Maybe they're jealous because she's hot, or because she's got money/koinz. The video is solid - great filming and dancing. All power to SR and you in taking Britney down, and out of the scene for good (where she belongs).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [im]http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/pray-for-britney.jpg[/im]

      Delete
    2. Ha! Thanks! Getting there, though, is definitely stressful for all of us.

      [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ca/36/39/ca3639f4e883ddc1135fd589951a850e.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  32. How awesome for you! Sounds such fun! All the best! (I'm passing this to my daughter to read.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! It's way more fun than a job should be!

      Delete
  33. It's nice to actually meet the Pop Star. I knew you'd have to tell us about her eventually. I can't claim to like the song but hey, she has a good voice. It's just I'm not interested unless she's shouting about dragons and slaying the unborn.

    Sorry to hear that you have to sift through all the shit, abuse, and dick pics for her though. Just remember; it is to protect her innocence.

    We're already monsters. There's no hope for us. The least we can do is protect the next generation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too am a fan of the Dragonborn. Since I don't believe he will ever make a Top 40 hit, I guess I'll just have to stick to Fus Ro Dahing NPCs off the side of a mountain.

      Delete
  34. Oh man, I can just imagine all the horrible things the trolls say. You must have to scrub your eyes clean every night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The eyeballs I can clean, but my soul, that always stays a little bit stained.

      Delete
  35. Well, I don't really need an IPad. I bought a big bundle of legal pads at Staples several years ago and still have a bunch of those left.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't need one either, since I have one of those gigantic smartphones that might as well be a tablet.

      [im]http://forums.androidcentral.com/attachments/general-news-discussion/91792d1384434838t-stop-giant-phones-big-cell-phone.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  36. I enjoy sarcasm and off color humor, but man some people just get mean. I'll go like and share. If I tag, you'll never know. I never openly admit to tagging anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, you're like a tag assassin. You don't know you've actually been tagged... until it's TOO LATE.

      Delete
  37. As some of the others said...typically this isn't my genre of music but then at this point I don't know what my genre is. Probably it's whatever is playing when I turn my radio on. If SR's music keeps climbing up the charts, it will be what is playing thereby becoming my type of music. (if you could of possibly followed my murky point)

    I wouldn't of thought it possible to come out with such a professional looking video given the story of how awful the shoot went. Good for SR for getting it put together so well. Super fun and entertaining.

    AS FOR your outfit. I've seen worse. The red cups are a vast improvement over the bra-less female sumo wrestler type I saw at the Walmart yesterday. AND the mop head has given me ideas for days when blow drying my hair would take way too much energy.

    Your job sounds like a lot of fun actually. If someone comments in a really lewd offensive way do you get to respond in a like manner? OR do you have to be nice because you are representing SR? I am hoping for the former.

    Also...as far as you leaving offensive comments on Bieber's social media....I have been leaving vile messages on your behalf to both Justin and all the Kardashians. You're welcome!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No wonder Beliebers and Kardashian fans hate me. I just figured it was because I write books (the anti-Kardashian platform, if you will).

      My job is a ton of fun, and when I get particularly lewd comments I just delete them. They aren't worth having around or responding to. If someone comments and it's just KIND of lewd, but it still had a relevant comment, something like, "Great video and really cool music! Also, you have really nice tits!" I'll just say thanks for checking out the music and move on.

      As a male blogger, this is definitely new territory for me... no one ever comments on my tits. ):

      Delete
  38. You get to check her spelling, eh? Your impersonation of her is pretty good, but you should dye your leg hair so you don't have to shave it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do check her spelling, but it's not like she's some kind of idiot that can't differentiate your/you're. I'm just a grammar Nazi.

      And damn, why didn't I think of that? That's brilliant. Now this presents a new problem - not getting weird stares when I ask the kid at the store which of these blonde hair dye products works best on bushy leg hair.

      Delete
  39. I'm glad this video worked out for you! What of Director Assface? Are you still considering legal action? If she does hit the big time and become a multi-millionaire globe trotting artist, what will that mean for you?

    Fun fact: At the height of their fame, Van Halen would put a clause in their contracts for live shows stating that there was to be a bowl of blue M&Ms in the backstage area. This was done to ensure that the other party was really paying attention, as if that clause wasn't being upheld, it's likely that other, more important clauses weren't either. That's likely where the whole "diva backstage demands thing" originated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! What a cool fact. I actually didn't know that. That makes sense.

      So she re-shot a bunch of stuff herself, took the raw footage from the director, and then basically told him to shove it. She edited it herself. His name has been scrubbed from absolutely everything, and he gets zero credit for this video. That sounds like a bigger win than a lawsuit to me.

      What happens if she becomes a multi-millionaire and travels the globe? You're assuming that she's not already there. Let's just say that the fact that I'm still along for the ride means that I'm damn good at my job. And that I'm kinda jealous, because she's already been more places in the world in the past year than I've been in my entire life. ;)

      Delete
    2. You're right, I did assume that she's not yet a globe-trotter :P How often do you get to travel with her?

      Delete
    3. I travel with her approximately 0% of the time. She's like a sister to me, and we get along so well, but I'm okay not being travel buddies. I don't think I belong in places like Dubai. Though riding an oil baron's pet cheetah WOULD be a fun time.

      [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/47/4d/0a/474d0a93e46745b739d940d3f6c61d4b.jpg[/im]

      Delete
  40. YAY NOW I KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! I dont know why that excites me so much. (It's not like I'm familiar with the up and coming popstar scene.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you WERE familiar with the up and coming pop star scene, rest assured you'd be extra impressed. But the reason you're excited is because when you eventually hear this being played on the radio, I fully expect you to jump up and down and scream, "OMG I know her! I know that girl! ... Kind of!"

      Delete
  41. I've been spelling koinz the wrong way this whole time. I thought it was
    c-o-i-n-s. I'm glad I watched that music video to set me straight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, what some call pop music, I call public services.

      Uh, sorry, I worded that poorly. See, what some kall pop music, I kall public servicez.

      Delete
  42. Not the worst video I've seen. I imagine lots of trolls are jealous of her beauty, moves, awesome body, and wow what a voice. I'm not her target audience - being of the granny era - but I wouldn't turn this off on a long drive. Shouldn't take her long to climb the ranks. Being business savvy herself should help. Too many would be Diva's don't have a clue how the money actually gets made.

    When you become Adele's social media thingy let me know. I'll be your number one groupie and constantly bug ya for autographs and free music and stuff.

    What fun to be a girl sometimes, lol. You put the tits on while writing the posts, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that's probably my favorite thing about this job, that she's a complete boss and doesn't need me to hold her hand through everything. And if someone tries to sell her some bullshit, she won't buy into it. She knows exactly what she wants and what she's worth, and while she does ask and value my opinion, ultimately she runs her ship the way she wants it run. I've got no qualms with that, so long as I can keep wearing these tits. I can't take them off. No, they're a part of me now.

      Delete
  43. Well, the video links aren't working for me, and only some of the pics will open. I blame the fact that I'm VPNing in from China via Iceland... or Los Angeles or something. Wifi is unpredictable here at best.

    BUT... I am intrigued and will now have to go search out SR on Youtube or facebook and view the video directly. Or later, when the wifi is better.
    Or get a new VPN service.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, with Internet like that, it's a wonder you get anything done. Hopefully you get this comment in the next 2 weeks. If not, it probably took a wrong turn at Iceland.

      Delete
    2. Got it! And saw the video. I couldn't even tell it was a problem! Well done, nice gig for you.

      Delete
  44. I came, I read, and I even listened. NOW, I have no words.

    Hey, your post stole my words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't get them back, either. They're already long gone via the Black Market. You don't even want to know what they do to words there. It's indescribable.

      Delete
  45. I'm happily interested in your job, and more happily once again following you on twitter. Funny drawings today. You're a good storyteller. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, thanks! That means a lot considering you're pretty damn funny and good at telling stories, too.

      Delete
  46. #15 is actually pretty fucking amazing, especially since you don't particularly care for PR. I love following your tales about it here...did I send you some of my doilies from my last PR job? Like the author who threatened to put a curse on us?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You did not, and I'm really hoping to hear that soon. Assuming the curse has since been lifted.

      Delete
  47. ok, I gave the video a listen...I guess money sells the hook line is catchy easy to sing, not something I'd buy. I have some thoughts I think I'll see how it plays out for her.

    Well, at least you guys are honest saying you do her social media, but it makes me wonder what the hell is real on social media...lol..

    I looked her up she done a lot of cover, to be successful you need new material. Does she write? I mean music, I think I read she wrote a couple of books. Am I looking up the right person?

    wish everyone a successful journey...sounds like an interesting job that could have some serious growth opportunities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, social media is so fake. At least we own it. Look at your average Facebook feed, where everyone always tries to show how happy and fun and exciting their lives are! ...Psh, yeah right. It's a nice illusion, though.

      And ha! I do believe you have found the hundreds of other SRs floating around the Internet (there was bound to be more than just her). She's done zero covers and written zero books. What you see on her YouTube channel is what she's done: two songs total. And they're all hers. She only does her own original material.

      The day she learns to write books is the day I stop being useful and I lose my job!

      Delete
    2. Hi Guys, Thanks for clarifying for me, as I wasn't sure I had the correct person. I am glad to hear she is doing her own material. For some reason, that was on my radar. I remember reading your post about the video shoot.

      I think we will see more of her in the future, at least that is what my crystal ball is saying.

      I have never been part of Facebook, it is just not for me and from what I've heard and read I am glad to not be in that social circle.

      So, who you routed for in the superbowl? I am watching for the commercials..lol..and maybe, drink partake in a couple of ice cold beers.

      Delete
    3. You're way better off without Facebook. We have it just so we can have more of an online 'presence', but for the most part it's a vapid waste of time. Oh, and lots of yelling and arguing over politics. No thanks!

      I don't know about a crystal ball, but I consulted my Magic 8 Ball. I asked, "Do we care who wins?" and it said, "I wouldn't count on it." Smart ball! This afternoon we're also going to be drinking some cold brews and maybe watching a few commercials. If there's a football game somewhere in between, that's alright, because it's always nice to have time for bathroom breaks.

      Delete
  48. It really worries me that we need that bad tweet as an example...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if you need any real life examples, just look at Tila Tequila.

      Delete
  49. It speaks volumes about her that she's open to all M&M colors!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's about time we brought down racial M&M barriers in this country.

      Delete
  50. You have a very cool job! I can only imagine the kind of nonsense you'd have to deal with from crazy social media posts, though. Thanks for introducing us to Pop Star. I wish her (and you) much success!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! My job is definitely cool, and the hilarious interactions I have more than make up for the random haterade/dick pics.

      Delete
  51. I think first I should say, CONGRABULATIONS for being a somebody (yes, even though you work on the IT side of things for said pop star, you're now a somebody).

    Secondly, good luck with the contest. The closest I can get to listen to pop music is when my daughter listens to Panic! At The Disco.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I'd like to think I was always a somebody, but now I'm even more of a somebody. It's only up from here! (Assuming she never hits rock bottom. Not gonna let that happen)

      Delete
  52. So your on the internet pretending to be a young girl? I've been teaching kids the dangers of this very thing. I could have used you as a case study if I'd known.

    I'll play the music at my children to see if they approve. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Stranger danger, stranger danger! This man is not my pop star!"

      Delete
  53. I "liked" the video and I agree that SR is lucky to have you! I look forward to hearing more stories about your pop star adventures! Congratulations on your exciting position as a social media manager! Now I can't get that "Coins" song out of my head!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was the goal. She used earworm technology to implant the song inside of your brain. It can only be removed with advanced surgery, and even then there's a 90% mortality rate. But on the plus side... I'VE GOT MONEY YEAH I'VE GOT A LOT...

      Delete