See, the wife just got a cool new job at a hair salon, and the girls she works with are great, if not a little eccentric. One of them, who we'll call Sunshine, is a hippy that legally changed her name to Sunshine because she thought it suited her aura better. In addition to styling hair, she also moonlights as a so-called sex therapist. I say so-called because, much like a life coach, she has no actual training or accreditation. She simply sees people to help them, as she tells it, "express their sexuality better."
She also makes it no secret that when she sees a man, she ends the "session" by "helping him express his sexuality" ...all over her. You know, something like this.
She deals mostly with handy-j's, sometimes including an optional "prostate massage", which she provides as a "service" for the men who've paid her. And many of them, having been "happy customers", return to her frequently for more of these "happy endings."
So... that kind of makes her a sort of prostitute... right...?
And please note that these are her words, not mine. She's more than happy to explain this to everyone she works with, including that her sex therapy "classes" almost always end with a friendly handy-j. This definitely makes it weird when she talks to the wife, because when they have a conversation like this...
What my wife really hears is this...
But here's the thing... this woman absolutely insists that she is a professional therapist whose only job is to help people embrace their sexuality.
And so you can see that this whole thing is messing with my head, because I would swear that what this woman is doing is basically prostitution. And the law here is pretty cut and dry - if you pay someone and get any form of sex in exchange, it's illegal. I mean, I feel like if this was a legal loophole, your average prostitute would be found on the street corner dressed in her best slutty nurse costume, offering "discount therapy" at the Motel 8 run by a pimp named Dr. $iZzUrP.
For once, Google is of no use to me. If you search for anything involving sex therapists and hand jobs, touching patients, stimulating them, etc., all you get is hundreds upon hundreds of porn results, because apparently a ton of people have fantasies about screwing their therapist, while not realizing that she's located here in Denver and the happy ending is always included.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to tattle on her, or get her in trouble, or anything like that. I'm no prude. Just call this Asshole Curiosity™, and indulge me, because it's going to bother me if I don't know. So below is a completely anonymous (jackass) poll, which you are all invited to fill out for shits, grins, lulz, and maybe just a smattering of knowledge.
Oh, and really, if anyone DOES know... this can't be legal, right...?
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)
Music: Low Roar
Beer: Lagunitas IPA