Monday, August 15, 2016

The Diagnosis is Terminal






96 comments:

  1. haha so you merged with the retarded goat and become a centaur? Now that is something. Great about page.

    Your drawing skills get better and better, mine go in the opposite direction. Good of Doctor God to help. Although angry Bryan kinda reminded me of this(maybe it was his muse?):

    [im]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/02/22/15/0032B0C1000004B0-3458519-image-m-40_1456155846872.jpg[/im]

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    1. If I was single, that would absolutely be my pick-up line.

      "I'm like a sexy Mr. Bean."

      [im]http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Mr+bean+has+immense+swag+_aaa4517b01d448ab9249cdd55d9256f0.jpg[/im]

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    2. Cat, did they reboot themselves once again?

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  2. Bring back the football hands!

    (I'm not giving up on this. It's really become a cause for me!)

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    1. I hear that a side effect of pixelitis is acute football carpalitis, so your wish may ultimately come true. Let's just hope we don't have to amputate.

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  3. Where have you guys been? Thought I missed a post. The really bad can't-wake-up-though-I-know-I'm-dreaming starts when you have kids.

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    1. We've been learning how to use a draw pad/drinking/redesigning the banner and about us/drinking/creating a new art style and also drinking. It's been a busy 2 weeks, but we're glad to be back!

      Also, you don't have to worry about the whole me having kids thing, because at it stands I can't even properly take care of myself.

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  4. Welcome back from Pixelland! Sometimes I like to spend my time there. I go on adventures, and the waking world is as strange as the dream one.
    [im]http://legendsoflocalization.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/final-fantasy-legend-ii-bananas-opium-e.png[/im]

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    1. We're glad to hear we're not the only ones that vacation in Pixelland. Sometimes it's just nice to visit so we can brush up on our English skills.

      [im]http://lparchive.org/Pokemon-Vietnamese-Crystal/Update%2014/25-AWholeNewWorld059.png[/im]

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  5. I'd say something about a woman you can eat but I'm not going there....

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    1. It's all fun and games until someone bites into some mold. Always keep your wife properly sealed and refrigerated.

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  6. Jeez, after so many years of thinking you look a certain way, I don't know if I can get on board with that new fab hair and full beard look. But cookie tits? YAY!

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    1. We thought that might help soften the blow. Anyone who says that boobs are the best thing ever has never seen cookie tits.

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  7. Ah so that's what took you so long, installing all these fancy patterns and brushes into your drawing software of choice. Boot times are going to be absolutely horrendous from here on out, enjoy!

    That's a very fresh look though, interesting! It'll take some getting used to (I've grown quite fond of those 60x160px depictions of you guys, I must admit), but I can see its potential. I'd tell you to go a bit wilder with the shading rather than keeping it close/stuck to the outlines, but what do I know, the best drawing I have of myself is a hooded dog.

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    1. The last two weeks we were just spending our time learning how to do everything, so the drawing/shading will get wilder in the future. We just needed to get a base style down. If I do say so myself, next week's comic should be pretty damn wild.

      Also, no fancy patterns or brushes or extensions involved at all. I did that all myself, by hand. Boot times are still as fast and fluid as eve-GODDAMMIT, STOP REMINDING ME TO INSTALL WINDOWS 10 I DON'T WANT YOUR SHITTY "FREE" UPGRADE MICROSOFT FUCK OFF ALREADY

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  8. I agree with Pat Hatt that you guys continue to perfect your drawing while mine continues to slide down the hill of mediocrity heading towards a garbage heap.

    Drawing pad, huh?? I tried that and couldn't master it. Supposedly other left handed people have figured out how to use one effectively but me being me couldn't manage it.

    Hope Doctor God can help your wife with her lunchable body parts. That can't be good.

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    1. It helps that my draw pad software has 'nanny' features like smoothing, meaning that if the line I draw comes out looking like Michael J. Fox drew it, that it'll automatically smooth it out for me. That helps a lot.

      Also, Doctor God successfully upgraded my wife from Chips Ahoy to Oreos. I couldn't be happier, but she's still a little pissed. Something or other about crumbs and ants.

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  9. Who doesn't like Mr. Bean, especially as Black Adder (wasn't that his dark side?) I like all your drawings and the captions, because the humour or smart-assedness shines through. It assures us not to take life too seriously, as life sure likes to smack us upside (is that a word) the head. Smooth hair or funky hair - whatever fits the cartoon. . .keep it going please. It's my Monday dose of ABFTS that makes Mondays manageable. . .I hate Mondays. . .I'm a Friday kind of person.

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    1. Blackadder was a ton of sides, since each series was set in a different era. But if I recall correctly, he was an asshole in each incarnation. He also was kind of an asshole as Mr. Bean, just... somehow lovable?

      And yes, the drawing has changed, but we have not! ... Which is kinda sad, because at some point I assume we'll have to grow up. Just not any time in the next 60 years, if I can help it.

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  10. love the new look. I'm pretty jealous of the cookies. I need to find a dr that will give me cookie boobs.

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    1. Yeah, right? We can give crazy people devil horn implants and fat guys ab implants, but we can't give women cookie boobs? Get your shit together, medical science.

      [im]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/1e/a8/3d/1ea83d2da30e94aa81c0bbb89133ddfc.jpg[/im]

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  11. B&B:
    If I didn't know better, I'd swear ('cause I know all the words) that you guys were watching some of that Doctor Who-a-thon this weekend...LOL.
    (episode "Last Christmas" in particular)

    Nothing worse than those dreams where you wake up, and find out you're STILL dreaming (about dreaming and then waking up again)...right?
    I hate when that happens.

    Very good post (and great renderings as usual).

    Stay safe out there, you wild & crazy guys.

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    1. Hey, thanks! And we are definitely two wild and crazy guys. In fact, that's next week's weird dream sequence transition.

      [im]http://i.imgur.com/8KZGg66.gif[/im]

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  12. Did you also dream you had a comb over?

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    1. I dreamed a dream of hair gone by...
      When hair was thick
      And gel worth having

      Delete
  13. The new triple layer eyebrows are absolutely amazing. And, I'm going to suggest that my hubby try chocolate chip cookies in his implants. He's gonna eat up the market! Hahaha

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    1. If you think the triple layer eyebrows are awesome, you should see the triple layer burrito butt implants we got. Sometimes you just have to pay to look this good.

      Delete
  14. It's a more endearing look for you guys - pube hair on the face and no stackage, unless that includes cookie boobs. I like it! Everything you do is awesome, yet I like the more childlike look of non-pixelitis.

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    1. Thank you! It's just good to know that even as the drawings mature, we still have not.

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  15. I really like the new header too - it's simple, in a really cool way.

    Regarding going more cartoony, just don't sacrifice it all.
    [im]http://brightcove04.o.brightcove.com/4221396001/4221396001_4634210952001_4634167839001-vs.jpg?pubId=4221396001[/im]

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    1. Well, we just figure it's better to be more cartoony than to be more realistic. Realistic is just creepy.

      [im]https://imgnzn-a.akamaized.net/2016/08/10/10154416464456-t480x280.jpg[/im]

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    2. Goddammit. That's the image I was going to go with.

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    3. We also would have accepted realistic Homer Simpson, who still haunts our dreams from time to time.

      [im]http://www.nuk3.com/gallery/images/comedy/full/3438.png[/im]

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  16. You know, if you guys keep upgrading your cartoon counterparts, then eventually they're going to come to life one of these nights and try to kill you in your sleep. You realize that, right?

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    1. We intentionally sized our characters to be about 3-4 feet tall, so if those little midget bastards want to throw down, they'd better bring their A game.

      Delete
  17. Finally! A new post! With cookie boobs and everything. I am drooling on my keyboard now and hope it doesn't short out again. I'm not saying your artwork belongs in the Louvre or on the loo, but it's darn fun to look at. I really hate the dreams that leave me anxious like waking up next to a guy, especially if he's ugly. I don't remember dreaming about hair, though. It's been so long since I've had any worth mentioning.

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    1. Maybe we could get a compromise between the two and they'd hang our artwork in the bathroom of the Louvre?

      Oh, to dream...

      Also, maybe you just need to get into television. It's amazing what they can do with A-list Hollywood wigs these days.

      [im]https://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/attachments/the_strain_corey_stoll_split_h_2014-jpg.28344/[/im]

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  18. Love the new look. You guys just keep getting better and better. Six years has passed by so quickly. We must still be having fun eh?

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    1. We're having as much fun as ever, while also spending less time since we (kinda) know what we're doing now. It's gonna be a while before we can catch up to your level, though. Just give us a few more centuries to match you.

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    2. No way in the world could I match you with your digital paintbrush, so I figure we are both awesome artists in our own media.
      I just prefer getting messy in mine

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    3. I wish I could get messy, but my computer won't let me. :(

      Delete
  19. Love the new look. Have been waiting ever so impatiently for a new post.

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    1. Well, crap, this post took a LOT of physical effort, so now we're going to need a 2 month rest period. See you again in October?

      Delete
  20. I liked your old look... and I like your new look. Just keep the same kinda clever cartoons coming, and we'll all be happy.

    Cookie boobs, huh? Never mind. I'll behave.

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    1. Well, with gags like the cookie boob, I think it's fair to say that we're as clever as ever.

      (Sorry. We'll do better next week)

      Delete
  21. I love it. It just, it might be a little TOO MUCH for daytime TV, eeerrr internet.
    Not the 50's snakeoil salesman bit, the BEARD! Oh my *clutching pearls* MY CHILDREN ARE HERE!

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    1. It's thicker than most head hair, it's luxurious, and it's all natural. Needless to say, I'm damn jealous.

      ~Bryan
      (no homo)

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  22. I sent for the looney doctors, I don't think Dr. God can cope with you two. Expect the sound of ambulances carrying straight jackets any moment.

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    1. The ice cream truck you sent for us was nice, but kind of a bust. It was great that they brought us white jackets to keep warm, but the popsicles they served tasted like human flesh. Last time I try to take free food from a fingerless EMT.

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  23. Agh, I'm gonna barf. Will you two turn up on Making of a Murderer VI?

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. "On August 15th, 2016 Bryan was found eating his wife's dead body. During his interrogation, the only thing he ever said was 'it tastes like cookies' over and over."

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  24. In other news, Laurie just discovered Emergency! reruns on netflix. I don't know whether I was trying to make the connection with Dr God, or just trying to hurry because we have a tornado warning and I have nothing but undies and a T on. Or am I dreaming? No, Reds are down 4-1. This is reality.

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    1. I am also wearing undies and a T, while it's gray and cloudy, and our Rockies are arguably as bad or worse. Am I you?

      Delete
  25. I've been wondering where you two have been hiding out. I thought maybe you got drunk and couldn't find your way back to us..haha..hey, one can always leave cookie crumbs to find the way..ok, that was bad.

    I do like the new header and I can see your talent emerging.

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    1. Thanks! I don't know if it's talent, but "fake it till you make it" surely has to hold some kind of merit.

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  26. Nice to see you back and ever so witty. I have had dreams within dreams but never woke up next to my best friend...that would be ouweey. I expected, when the bandages came off to see pig faces and Rod Serling hovering around. I'm not sure your wife would appreciate you eating her melon.

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    1. Unfortunately, Doctor God doesn't specialize in pig faces. That's the Kardashians' plastic surgeon you're thinking of.

      And that's the great thing about having a giant head - my wife can lose a bit of melon and still be fine.

      (Fun fact: upon reading this comment she will induce her big-headed rage upon me and murder me)

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  27. Are you guys eventually going to get to the stage where your comics are live action and filled with sweet CGI cookie boobs?

    The new look is 100% pretty cool, guys. Also, I'm finally a decent portion of the way through Tuck Watley, so I should be able to leave a review in the somewhat near future. But the books hilarious!

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    1. Awww yeah, thanks! And sadly, our budget isn't that big to support CGI, so would you settle for crappy Flash animation that just loops over and over again, ala The Badger Song?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGlyFc79BUE

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  28. Replies
    1. I WANT TO LIKE MS PAINT BUT DAMMIT IT'S SO HARD AND INEFFICIENT TO USE AND I STILL KEPT GOING BACK IS THIS WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE

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  29. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPXZyw2Ip08

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBZnGk1nAjw

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL5sdu3pNrU

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    2. "Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes"...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA_1WJqAiwg

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir92shPGU84

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  30. Hey guys, apparently I didn't miss much around here while I was gone. I'm not going to go back one post and check the validity of that statement. I'm just going to rely on all the comments I've read of "welcome back" to assure me that you've actually not posted for awhile.

    I'm also not going to really address your blog post (as per my usual sytle) instead jumping to the tangent of your blog post that my brain immediately addressed... which would be the watermelon face. Interestingly enough, fourth week of camp was boys week. Turns out more happens in one week with all boys than three weeks with all girls at camp. Just sayin'. Boys are raucous. Crazy. Insane. Animals. And fun fun fun to watch. I thought I was going to bust a gut fourth week of camp. On the list of things I only wish I'd seen but I heard about (rather a lot) was the kid who took a watermelon to the face during the greased watermelon toss. At least I think tossing it was the point. Maybe it was seeing who would get it in the face first and get knocked out. Turns out that is what happens when you take a greased watermelon in the face. Instant knockout. Apparently he didn't come to for quite a while and has no memory of the greased watermelon incident, as we now think of it. The only thing that could've made that story better was if the kid that took the watermelon to the face was my favorite (pain in the rear) camper who provided a plethora of stories. I gave HIM the nickname of Mister Blister. I'm now thinking he might get a blog post. This kid deserves a blog post. He worked hard all week doing insane things. I wish he'd taken the watermelon to the face... alas, it's not a perfect world.

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    1. And I would normally respond to your comment entirely, but instead, I leave you with this video, that will confirm your statement about the dangers of a high velocity watermelon.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cfeTZNcA3g

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    2. Wow. Just wow.

      Actually, can't leave it there. Also hilarious. OMGoodness. I laughed so hard. I can't feel my face. And I have the worst headache. Ya think????

      Delete
  31. You know, if my wife's head could be any fruit, I would probably pick a coconut. Sure it wouldn't be as nice to touch as a watermelon, but there wouldn't be any danger of her head exploding if she trips and lands the wrong way. Apples would get bruised too easily and oranges/lemons/grapefruit, while more protected, are still too susceptible to being squished. Plus they would make for creepily small heads. But then, so would the coconut. Shit, I need to rethink this...

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    1. The coconut might also be kind of confusing, because it would just always make her look like she had a really shocked look on her face. Then how would you know if she was genuinely surprised by something?

      [im]http://www.fullcirclehealthcare.ca/resources/full%20circle%20coconut%20oil.jpg[/im]

      Oh, what a quandary. Do let us know if you ever figure out the optimal head fruit. That's way beyond our minuscule brains.

      Delete
  32. This is an amazing change. Adding shadows and depth!?! This is like when some creep decided to make a real life rendition of Bart Simpson:
    [im]http://i.imgur.com/6XmPuXS.jpg[/im]
    And yes, I have seen "realistic Charlie Brown and Beavis and Butthead.

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    1. Yeah, that's one terrible, too. Have you seen realistic Mario? That's also pretty awful. Why is he so old and hairy? WHY?

      [im]http://static1.gamespot.com/uploads/scale_medium/1520/15206874/2896440-2161584913-latest[/im]

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    2. Mario is pretty spot on. Bart is going to give me nightmares

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  33. Nice drawings! Very colorful and full of life. I'm looking forward to more of what you got... not this though.

    https://youtu.be/ACTfVRaBXW0

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    1. Wow, that Buzz Lightyear one is great. Maybe we should hire some of those kids to come write for us.

      [im]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q_CNUCOM1kE/Ui9AHe-FlGI/AAAAAAAAAFI/uwzdwmJB2Kw/s1600/eslbeach.bmp[/im]

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  34. Ahaha, dat ass on old school lady.
    I dig both versions. Brandon's sex change as a watermelon shows Doc God's skill with Jenner.

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    1. My wife is going to be so disappointed to hear that you think she's the result of Brandon undergoing a sex change. I know we live in the era of Caitlyn Jenner calling herself a beautiful woman and Rachel Dolezal saying that she's black (on the inside) but all the surgery in the world couldn't turn Brandon into a hot Mexi-mama.

      Delete
  35. I never noticed your hair had two shades to it. Realistic colours are awesome. There's no shame in two dudes sharing a bed. It's *CURRENT YEAR* it's not like two dudes sleeping naked in a bed together is really, really gay. It's only really gay these days. I mean, what could be straighter than two naked men?

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    1. Yes, it currently has two shades. Brown and gray. WTF, genetics?

      Also, yes, thank you! We live in the era of 'no homo', and anything you do cannot be considered gay so long as you say 'no homo' afterwards, sleeping naked in the same bed included.

      Delete
  36. Ya know, the comments section is almost (well, maybe mostly) better than the actual post. Did your wife clunk you over the head for this one? Couldn't you find something sexier than a watermelon? Maybe that nightmare is still going on, hmm.

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    1. Maybe one day we'll get lazy enough that we just write a completely shit post that's full of nothing but hilarious comments. Give the readers what they want (maybe)!

      And I had to pick the watermelon. It's not the sexiest of fruits, but it's the most scientifically accurate in regards to head size and shape.
      (If I'm going to get clunked, better get my jokes' worth)

      Delete
  37. Well, she DOES have a nice ass.
    I may have a problem.

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    1. "Dude, did you see the chick they painted on the restroom door? SO hot."

      [im]http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/9Tz/EKG/9TzEKGXTE.png[/im]

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  38. Well, she DOES have a nice ass.
    I may have a problem.

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  39. Love the new look and new header. Imagine, two genuine human beings that blog. Wow! Who would've thunk it?

    Father Nature's Corner

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    1. Whoa whoa, don't humanize us just yet. We don't want people to forget that we're really two primates in a tall trench coat just trying to say bad words on the Internet. Boobies.

      Delete
  40. I'm having as much fun reading the comments as I did reading the comic.

    I'd almost say I have no words to describe how I feel about the changes, except I just used words to describe how I have no words . . . so you see my conundrum here.

    And now I want cookie boobs. I'm pretty sure that would take my 29-year marriage to the next level. My hubby has always wanted a tiny oven near the bed to make fresh cookies to reward himself for a job well done, lol.

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    1. Hopefully those are good no words instead of bad no words. We all know how many kinds of different no words there are, especially the no words that involve actual words.

      And I'm not saying that cookie boobs will take your marriage to great, soaring new heights, but I'm also not saying that I've ever heard of a single couple that was unhappy after installing cookie boobs.

      Delete
  41. Fellas, did you reboot yourselves again? ;)

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    1. We're just trying to keep 'fresh' to give Hollywood what they want. You should see our next incarnation! We'll give you a hint: A Beer for the Gurl Power.

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    2. I'll go buckle up then. It's gonna be one hell of a ride.

      Delete
  42. Wow, I think I had that very same dream. Maybe I'm still stuck that loop?

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    1. We give you permission to wake up, but make sure you've eaten your fair share of cookie boobs first. Those don't exist in the real world (yet), and it can be very disappointing after such a wonderful dream.

      Delete
  43. Ha! I like the new look and font. You guys are very talented. (*brushes my terrible cartoons behind me*) Nothing to see here folks! Blog, what blog?

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  44. Oh goodness, I'm late to the post, but I still have to say it: I love it!!!! All of it! :D

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