The two of us agree on almost everything when it comes to topics that truly matter. Which is better - Pepsi or Coke. Paper vs plastic. Which way the toilet paper goes. But one thing we don't agree on at all is guns. When it comes to guns, we have two completely polar opposite views that neither of us will budge on, so today we wanted to see if you the reader could help us decide who's right and who's wrong.
First up, Bryan's belief.
Bryan believes that under no circumstances should anyone ever own a gun. Ever. Mostly, this is because he believes that guns don't serve any purpose whatsoever.
He also believes that if you should ever need to defend yourself in a rare life and death situation, that you can absolutely do it without a gun.
And to the people that already have guns, he believes they should be turned in to the government. That Obama should keep his promise of taking away all of our guns.
And ultimately, Bryan believes that the US can live peacefully with all guns banned, and he has complete faith that the government can not only confiscate and destroy all 300 million of them, but keep those guns out of the hands of criminals through strict laws, because if there's one thing criminals respect, it's the law.
This, however, is a stark contrast to what Brandon believes.
Brandon believes that everyone should carry a gun. EVERYONE. Even people who don't want a gun should be given a gun as a means of protecting themselves.
He believes everyone should carry it at all times, on their hip, in a holster. Because after all, this is the old West, and you never know when you might need your gun. At a mall? Maybe! At a playground? Possibly! At grandma's funeral? Might as well err on the side of caution! Danger lurks everywhere, and it's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared!
Brandon also believes that guns should be put in every classroom, as a way of preventing school shootings. If teacher's packing heat, after all, then no one's going to try to pull any fast ones in our nation's classrooms.
And ultimately, Brandon believes that if every single person has a gun, then criminals and would-be terrorists don't stand a chance. Neither do victims of miscommunication or innocent bystanders hit by the rapid fire of someone who has no firearms training whatsoever and vision like Mr. Magoo, but sometimes, just sometimes, don't you have to put everyone around you in mortal danger just to keep everyone around you safe?
So there you have it, folks, our views on gun ownership. Clearly one of us is right and one of us is wrong, so let's have it. Be brutally honest. Which of us is right?
Cheers and stay armed to the teeth (with beer),
Beer: Anchor's Mango Wheat
(Note: for the 0.05% reading this who don't understand us or our humor this is what we call 'satire' and neither of us actually believes any of these ridiculous things)