Monday, February 8, 2016

#02 - I Am Now Old and Out of Touch



*Translation: When your close friends would like to have fun, but your significant other wants to engage in intercourse at home, and you are attempting to do your best, but she is much too inebriated to reciprocate and you are highly confused by this unfortunate turn of events that have left all parties greatly unsatisfied.

Oh, and cheers to our Denver Broncos for bringing home the Lombardi trophy and doing, well, this.



116 comments:

  1. Thanks! I could not have translated that without your help. The video I understand. So will there now be riots in the streets?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, see here in Denver everyone's too high to be angry. I'm just like duuuuude, and the other guy's like duuuude, and we're both just like duuuuuuude. And then someone somehow had Cheetos, and he's the man.

      Delete
  2. Thanks, I definitely needed that translation.
    Happy for Manning. Wasn't right that his brother had two Super Bowl rings while he only had one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loved the game. They definitely made up for letting me down 2 years ago with the stupid seahawks. I saw a meme last night...when Cam Newton goes to bed tonight, Von Miller will burst out of his closet and sack him one last time. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, two years ago was embarrassing and soul crushing. Last night was sweet, sweet karmic justice, and felt even better considering that no one was giving us a chance. And yet cocky Cam sure couldn't dab his way out of a bone-rattling sack or seven.

      When I go to bed tonight, I'm going to have nightmares of Puppymonkeybaby.

      Delete
    2. For real I can't believe they actually paid for that ad.

      Delete
  4. Our house was all for the Broncos. The commercials were so blah. And Puppymonkeybaby was so creepy I can't even remember what the ad was for. I think it might be the new monster on a Saturday night Syfy flick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently Puppymonkeybaby is fueled by Mountain Dew, and nothing about that surprises me in the slightest.

      Delete
  5. Being a Panther fan, I never knew there was SO much Cam Newton hate until this past week. DAMN!!!! We gonna keep on dabbing though 'cause that's how we roll in North Cackalacky. Congrats to Denver. Defense wins Championships. Proven last night. And, as a parent of a teenager thankfully I learned what "watching Netflix and chill" meant before it was too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think people were just turned off by his cockiness. Folks always enjoy seeing the cocky guy get knocked down a peg, especially considering his opponent was the classy old guy who doesn't have a bad thing to say about anyone.

      And who'd have ever thought that Netflix would get equated with sex? When I think of Netflix I think of sweat pants, a bowl of junk food, and being slumped back in a recliner.

      Delete
  6. I thought of you guys when cheering for the Broncos - sporadically - in and out of the room and chatting during a Superbowl party. I thought the Panthers looked better (more handsome and all), and I liked their helmets better, and well, I'm still happy the Broncos won.

    I'm impressed your young friend translated that. How in the world? "Paint"? I can understand "squad" and...that's about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually I translated that. I'd never ask someone to translate a meme for me like some kind of uncool, old geezer.

      And hey, not all the Broncos are uggos. What about our backup QB, Brock Osweiler? Dude eerily looks like Robert Pattinson's gigantic (6'7) twin.

      Delete
    2. He really does. Eerily. But 6'7"? That's taller than my Superbowl friend. Oh and Brock is easy on the eyes. So glad those Broncos won!

      Delete
  7. Can't fault you. Kids and their dank memes are going way too fast these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God I have urbandictionary to keep me abreast of all the new lingo/sexual slang I'd have been completely in the dark about otherwise.

      Delete
  8. I will say with the way the Denver offense played last night, maybe only the defense should get rings. Carolina had more yards, time with the ball, complete passes, and we still lost... Damn that Denver defense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gary Kubiak's too damn conservative with offense. On those last few drives especially, when all he did was have us run the ball for 3 and outs, I was yelling at my TV like some kind of dumbass that doesn't understand TVs can't hear us. I mean, why have Peyton risk throwing a TD when you can just have the defense win the game for you?

      Delete
  9. Ha, that was a good one, and the translation helps to put things in perspective. Greetings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I need a Rosetta Stone for teen meme lingo.

      Delete
  10. I was with some people older than me yesterday for the Superbowl, and they seemed to talk in memes and tweets. I'd never realized how disturbing that sort of thing is until I saw people over 35 attempt it.

    It was a bit like watching your favorite author singing Nicki Minaj songs. "No, Philip Roth! Don't try and sing sing 'Stupid Ho'!"

    I'm kidding. Nobody's favorite author is Philip Roth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that Philip Roth is no Dan Brown.

      I see now why meme lingo is ever changing. Once you hear your parents joke about "the Netflix and chill" that term just becomes so unbearably uncool that the clearest option is to abandon it entirely and find something else to say.

      Delete
  11. Wow. I had no idea whatsoever what that meme meant. I need to get more in touch with the lingo of the young folks so I can understand my kid when he becomes a teenager. He's five, so that should be enough time to study up on things, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry. I was interrupted by yelling at some kids to get off my lawn! What was I saying? I don't know. I need a nap.

      Delete
    2. I think the best course of action is just accepting defeat and acknowledging that no matter how much you try to study up, you will never be "with it." And with all of that saved time you can dedicate yourself to designing a motion detected lawn sprinkler system, that will spray any trespassing children in the face with a torrent of disgustingly unclean sprinkler water.

      Delete
  12. Damn, I would have been lost without your translation. My "I'm too old for this shit" probably wouldn't have told anybody anything. Who knew such perks came with Netflix, is that like a separate bundle?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, right, who'd have ever thought that Netflix - known best for couples in their sweatpants binge-watching 10 straight hours of a TV show - would ever be equated with getting laid?

      Delete
  13. Haha.. I got most of it, but the ending had me confused, so thanks for the translation haha .. I think what helps in keep up with this meme crap, for me, is Reddit & Imgur.

    What is that gif? Is that fellow in tight clothes upset? Pretending to be hit? Laughing? I cannot tell. I don't follow sportstuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually keep up with memes via Instagram, but any good outlet helps. And the gentleman in the gif has just been shot and is collapsing to the ground in agony. Football has gotten a LOT more violent in recent years.

      Delete
  14. Not even one football player in pantyhose story? After last week's post I find that somewhat disappointing...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we can all agree that Peyton Manning would make a brave, stunning, heroic woman.

      Delete
  15. Wow, I'm glad you translated that, I had no idea. I got Netflix and chill, that's about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got most of them off the bat but go hard in the paint was new for me, and I was surprised to hear that it was much less sexual than I imagined. It's a reference to basketball... which I can't stand. When did that get cool again?

      Delete
  16. As far as football, I've always been out of touch. . .never watch it. Only when forced to occasionally. Always looks like a field of thugs trying to decide where to run. . .I watch hockey and baseball but that's about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, because in hockey the thugs know exactly where to run... their fists into each other's faces.

      (We both love hockey, so that's not a jab - go Avs!)

      Delete
  17. Thanks for the translation, cause I was like totally lost.

    And, a big congrats to the Denver Donkeys. It was nice to see them not 'fold' in the clutches.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not even sure the translation helps but I'm told the joke is humorous.

      And Denver Donkeys is pretty apt, considering we spent the entire game kicking (field goals/punt returns).

      Delete
  18. Sadly, because I have a teenager I understood the entire thing. Well, that and because I watch @midnight. Thank you Chris Hardwick for keeping me informed and up-to-date on what these youngsters are doing these days. Now if he could just keep them off my damn lawn!

    Go Broncos!! At least one of the Manning kids brought home the shiny ring this year. Here's what I found on Eli's lack of expression that you so kindly posted the link to on my blog lmao:

    I think he suffers from some emotional disorder. Alexithymia: in part, "which is thought to lead to unempathic and ineffective emotional responding" so I blame that for his lack of well, any emotions aside from looking dumbfounded all the time. ELI!!!!!!! What a maroon!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm with you, who'd have thought that I owe all of my current lingo knowledge to 40-something year old nerd Chris Hardwick?

      And I always thought the emotional disorder he was suffering from was acute superingitis, in which his emotional state is at any given time equal to the number of Super Bowl rings currently earned.

      Delete
  19. Wow. You know, I never really feel all that "old" until I come across a millennial who talks utter nonsense like that. And then I thank the Powers That Be for allowing me to be born at least 10 years earlier than those poor souls.

    Hooray for the Broncos! They definitely earned it. I'm not entirely sure that the Panthers even realized that they were supposed to be playing football until the last quarter. But watching that guy having a meltdown tantrum on the ground like that is just priceless. I must admit I rather enjoyed seeing the "I am now dead inside" look in the eyes of every Panthers player while they watched that clock counting down the minutes to their defeat. *Sigh* Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm always confused on what's considered millennial or not. Like for example, I'm technically considered a millennial, even though I'm in my 30s and was rocking the 80s like the Gen Xers were. I have nothing at all in common with your typical 16 year old, but apparently we are one in the same. Generations are so confusing.

      You know, right after the game ended, the camera held WAY too long on a Panthers player who was folded over crying into his hands. Like at least 30 seconds solid. I mean, I'm a diehard Broncos fan, but low blow camera guy. Low blow.

      Delete
    2. If you want my two cents on the matter, a "Millennial" is a person who has lived their whole lives not fully understanding what a face-to-face conversation actually is. They think it means texting your friend while they're sitting right next to you. A "Millennial" is someone who regularly uses words like "bae" and "yolo" and "swag" with no trace of sarcasm. If you know what to look for, you'll pick up the signs.

      Delete
    3. I like your definition way, way better. As for the two of us, we both remember a time when the Internet didn't exist. And we both remember having to go to the library to answer a question. Or we just didn't ever have it answered at all, because no Google.

      Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go chase off children with my broom.

      Delete
    4. Ah yes! Remember when we had to try and learn the Dewy Decimal System? Ha! Good times!

      Shake a fist at those darn kids for me!

      Delete
  20. Yeah I needed a translation as well.

    My mother and I drove around for like an hour last night trying to find an open pub or restaurant. Apparently no one watches the Super Bowl at the pub anymore. Luckily, we ended up at a nearly empty pub and had a rousing conversation with the Irish bartender and 2 of the only other customers (also Irish) about how football is not a real sport, but just a bastardized version of rugby for people who need to wear lots of padding so they don't get booboos. The other customers (not Irish) looked extremely offended. (None of us were entirely serious, we just enjoy offending people.)'Twas great craic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What the what? Every single pub here is always brimming with football fans during a game, even during regular season and even if we're doing horribly. I mean, what's the alternative? Shut off our phones and talk to each other? Gross.

      I feel if the guy pictured above was not wearing any padding that the tears he was shedding would not be related to the loss but rather to the amount of bone shards protruding through his flesh.

      Delete
  21. Honestly thought it was going to be a blowout in favor of Carolina, but I've been wrong before, so it didn't sting too bad.

    And my entire Facebook newsfeed is loaded with those types of memes. I've unfollowed so many people that my mother's posts are pretty much the only thing I see now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To quote the great Paul Simon: "I remember once in August 1983 I was wrong, and I could be wrong again."

      Thank God Facebook doesn't show you my dank memes, then, otherwise you'd totally be like (insert reaction face here).

      Delete
  22. Oh, was there a football game yesterday?

    Get used to being an old fogey. Now that you're 30, all that's left for you is the long, slow decline to the bone yard.

    But gawd, what I wouldn't give to be your age again, you young whippersnapper!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was, and apparently we did pretty well. I don't remember it much - old age and all.

      I feel great, I look great (or so I think), and I'm stronger/faster than I ever was before. Either I'm doing well and haven't yet hit that decline... or I'm in denial.

      I'm okay with either.

      Delete
  23. I'm ok with being out of touch, especially if liking the halftime shows means you're cool. Put me down for "LAME" thanks anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Man, Coldplay rocked SO hard last night. Did you see when they turned everything into flowers? That shit was SO tight."

      - no one ever

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. The dude definitely deserved to ride off into the sunset with a win. Now... as to the question of whether he IS going to ride off into the sunset...

      Delete
  25. I recognized the word "Netflix."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it's any consolation, there's a good chance my parents don't even know what that one is.

      Delete
  26. I gotta confess-while I wanted Denver to win, I was one of those who thought Carolina would run away with it.

    This one was all the Denver defense-they came up with a game plan for Carolina's offense and executed. All other facets of the game seemed to be pretty lackluster (for both team).

    While Manning (who I like) got a lot of attention, he was not a factor.

    And Newton's best moment of the night may have been his post-game press conference...which wasn't a high note.

    Whoever sent that pre-game tray of brownies to the Panther's locker room was a genius....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I felt strongly that Denver was going to win and I felt strongly that our defense was going to be the deciding factor... but I had no idea how true that really was.

      As I joked to the wife after the game, even if Peyton retires there's a good chance we could come back to the Super Bowl next year. We just have to have the defense carry us there like they did this year. Meanwhile, all Brock Osweiler has to do is show up, not throw interceptions, and get us in range for a few field goals, which... well, this year he proved he can do that.

      What I want to know, though, is if Gary Kubiak is really that conservative or if he just truly had no faith in Peyton's arm last night and wanted to coast to a win via defense. Look at how many key drives ultimately came down to the Broncos running the ball 3 times, gaining no yards, and then punting right back via a 3 and out. Then, by sheer power of the defense, we'd either shut them right back down or carry out an interception/fumble that put us deep into Carolina territory to score... a field goal. After more failed running attempts, of course. What the hell, Denver? No faith in the QB's arm at all? "Better a 3 and out than ol' Peyton throwing a pick!"

      Delete
    2. Because the Panthers hadn't really played any AFC teams, it felt like they were going to be better. Glad I did not bet.

      Peyton's arms did not seem to have the zip all year, and while he truly was one of the greatest ever, if he were to come back next year it would be a mistake (in my opinion). I heard someone mention the Rams as a possibility on Sunday-because an aging, injured QB without mobility wants to be behind an offensive line that stinks!

      I thought Kubiak's play calling was meant to chew up clock, but he never adjusted when that stopped working. Maybe Carolina's defense is just that good.

      That's what I meant in my earlier comment-Phillips came with a plan, and none of the other assistants on either team adjusted (or were able to successfully).

      No criticizing Cam Newton though....that has been recently decreed a hate crime by an Executive Order.

      Delete
  27. Well thanks for the translation because I didn't have a clue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even now I'm not entirely sure I understand it but I'm told the translation is accurate.

      Delete
  28. I can't imagine how in the world netflix came to mean anything having to do with sex...? They sound completely opposite to me. No way I would have been able to translate that text message without assistance.

    As for the Super Bowl, it looks like your Broncos and my Falcons have something really big in common. The only two teams that beat the Panthers this season. Just alike, right... except for the fact that my guys kinda stunk up the field most of the season. Wait until next year! (Yeah, right... getting a little tired of saying that every year.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, just remember that no matter how bad your team is, at least you'll never be the Detroit Lions.

      Oh, and sorry about creaming you guys in Super Bowl 33. But, you know, John Elway and Terrell Davis.

      Delete
    2. PBBBBBBT! We're not fans of Elway, either. Ever since he said he would NEVER consider playing for Baltimore. (Back when we were Colts fans.)

      Delete
    3. I had almost forgotten about that. First Elway, then Manning. We have a great history of shitting on the Colts, don't we?

      Delete
  29. Are you sure that's what that means? I've read it about 20 times now and I'm with you on the friend wanting you to go out, but BAE (which would be you, right) wants to sit home chilling watching movies on Netflix. BUT, the girlfriend wants to have sex (that's the paint, right? gross, btw) but she's too drunk. And the gist is that everyone is unhappy.

    If young people actually start talking like that the generation gap is going to become a continental divide. Grandma will be saying, "What did he say?" after every sentence at Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, the parents will be like, "No idea. Just eat." All of which will lead to everyone staying home next year because who wants to listen crazy talk???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, God I hope I'm not bae in this equation. So here's the laydown. Bae = girlfriend/boyfriend. Believe it or not, Netflix and chill means sex (don't ask me why, I equate Netflix with binge-watching TV shows in pajamas), and go hard in the paint, which sounds really sexual, is not. It means to try really hard. It comes from basketball, in which scoring in the painted area directly beneath the hoop is really difficult. Only through 'going hard' and overcoming the other nearby players with sheer strength can you make the basket.

      And now, because of a few short slang terms, I just had to explain a simple joke in a huge, rambling paragraph.

      Delete
    2. But, in this case, isn't the trying really hard referring to having sex? Okay, I'm going to take all of the funny out of this damn joke. When you squad wanna get lit (when your friends want you to come out and party with them) but BAE want Nexflix and chill (but the g/f wants sex... I'm never going to think of Netflix the same again FYI) and you tryna to go hard in the paint (you're trying to "score" as in achieving the sex she says she wants, which is still gross btw) but she turnt up and you just be like (but she's too drunk and you're frustrated).

      For the record, there should a final word other than like. LIKE WHAT??? my brain screams each time I read this slang landmine.

      Delete
    3. The trying really hard (going hard in the paint) is to hurry over to her place and initiate the sex, but 'bae' is incredibly drunk and it's not going to happen. And the 'you just be like' refers to the picture, where the guy looks comically confused. That's the punchline.

      Yeah, no one said it was a gem of modern comedy.

      For all of the trouble you've put on your brain trying to comprehend this meme (don't do that, brain cells will suffer), I present to you a fabulously fabulous cat.

      (_\ヽ
        \\ .Λ_Λ.
         \( ˇωˇ) 
          > ⌒ヽ
         /   へ\
         /  / \\
         レ ノ   ヽ_つ
        / /
        / /|
       ( (ヽ
       | |、\
       | 丿 \ ⌒)
       | |  ) /
      `ノ )   Lノ
      (_/

      Delete
  30. I am somewhat alarmed that I new what that meant (or at least fairly close) before reading the translation. Something is sadly wrong with me.

    We, too, were rooting for the Broncos. Yay!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't know you spoke meme. You on fleek, fam.

      Delete
  31. No idea what that meant. If you're too old, I am way past that. Superbowl? What's that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Superbowl is when the two groups of sportmen assemble to fight over the handegg. This year, our Denver sportsmen won over the Carolina sportsmen because they successfully traveled with the handegg into the scorezone. Or so that's how I understand the game.

      Delete
    2. I love that description. Hand egg! Good one.

      Delete
  32. Thank you for explaining the crappy way this dude is talking. I would watch a superbowl if it was about artists but I was a kid who found curling fun to watch. Now I must see that commercial with the doggie monkey baby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, one thing is for sure - I don't know if it's more fun than curling, but the Puppymonkeybaby is certainly more... uh, interesting. I saved you the trouble. See below.

      Puppymonkeybaby

      Delete
  33. I was going for the Broncos because as I understand it, Manning's now broken the all-time record for most NFL wins at 200.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually he tied with Brett Favre by reaching 200, so he has to come back one more season and win at least one game to beat that. Which... I'm kinda hoping he doesn't. Besides, as much as I hate Tom Brady, he's at 194, and simply by playing one more season and winning at least 7 games (which the Patriots are sure to do) he should take that record with ease.

      Delete
    2. Darn. Guess Manning will just have to win the Superbowl again next season.

      Delete
    3. Here in Denver we already got lucky when "old man" John Elway came back one more year after winning the Super Bowl and won a second (that no one thought would ever happen). I love Denver. I love Peyton. Unfortunately I don't think lightning would strike twice.

      Delete
  34. My poor blond brain is wondering just how you cracked that code.

    I was cheering for the Panthers, though I wasn't crushed the Broncos won. I'm a Steeler girl at heart, and couldn't help but scoff at half time that the Steelers gave the Broncos a harder push than the Panthers. If only Antonio Brown had been healthy...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a lot of help from Urban Dictionary and used my secret Cracker Jack decoder ring.

      And hey, there's always next year for you. Ol' Roethetlhethhessburger (I have no idea how anyone spells his name from memory) has plenty of years left in him, but it was nice to see an aging Peyton go out (hopefully) with a she-bang.

      Delete
    2. Very true. And Peyton seems like a much nicer guy than Ol' Ben, the could-be rapist whom I tolerate because I have loved the Steelers since Mean Jo Greene and I ain't gonna change.

      Delete
  35. I'm almost 57. I live in my microcosm with Franklin, Penelope, and Downton Abbey. I know little of today. Hemlines are shorter on Downton each year. It's quite shocking.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'd take the English from Downton Abbey over the Internet lingo spoken today. And the people. And the clothes. And the manors. Pretty much everything. For them, they had a truly bad day if the footman was slow to bring them soup and the soup was cold. I'd be okay with that.

      Delete
    2. Did you mean manors (their houses) or manners (the way they behaved). Actually they had a hell of a lot more than that to worry about. They were responsible for the local villagers, their tenants and their own income from the farms.

      Delete
    3. I do mean the manors, those gigantic semi-modern palaces run by an army of servants. I already have a good amount of manners (or so I hope). And they did have a lot of responsibilities, but if that comes with fancy homecooked meals prepared and served to me daily with all the wine I can drink I think I could somehow manage to suffer through that.

      Delete
    4. Sounds like the way my husband lives although he doesn't drink all the wine he could only what he thinks he should.

      Delete
  36. I don't think I understood any of that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I caught a few of those words, like 'and' and 'but'.

      Delete
  37. If only Cam fell forward, you know, onto the football after that fumble, with as much force as he fell backwards right there.

    (i was cheering for the broncos! I like it when old dudes break records. Probably has something to do with Boyfriend being 1000 years old)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, I think you win comment of the day award.

      Cam Newton - always falling backwards, never falling forward. That's not just a zinger, that's a damn life lesson.

      Delete
  38. Ok, I think I am confused so if I want to watch netflix, I really want to have sex. I guess I need to be careful how I use that term in the future..haha...

    Hey, I was happy with the outcome of the Superbowl. Of course now, everyone is super analyzing the half time show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking about subscribing to Netflix, but I'd rather not bring a brothel into my home.

      And there's not too much to analyze about the half time show. In between an awesome football game, someone's middle aged dad snuck onto the stage to perform a karaoke number, but he got interrupted by a Mexican leprechaun and Mr. T in a wig dressed up as a dominatrix.

      Delete
  39. I'm happy for Manning. It was a good way to go out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, let's just hope he does go out and doesn't decide to come 'roaring' back for one more year that would certainly never live up to this one.

      Delete
  40. Damn! I am out of touch. I thought it just meant, do you want to party.

    Congrats to the Broncos! I wanted them to win, but I didn't stay up for the game. If Peyton retires, he sure is leaving on a high note.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet if you asked a modern teenager if they wanted to party they'd roll their eyes so hard they'd eject straight out of the sockets.

      Delete
  41. Yeah, that one totally lost me. Thanks for the translation. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't speak Spanish but I am moderately fluent in dank meme.

      Delete
  42. I'm old, I've no idea what your 22YO friends are talking about.. bwhahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not really sure either but I just smile and laugh so I don't look like an even bigger dumbass.

      Delete
  43. There are very few memes that I get and I'm okay with that. I mean, I can understand them (barely) but they're just not funny. Good Guy Greg and Gerberms for life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ermagerd, er terterly erndersternd! Good guy Pickleope - references old memes I actually get.

      Delete
  44. I'm pleased to say I understood most of that meme. I think I have about two years of memes left in me. But I thought being turnt meant that you were stoned, not drunk. One of the things I pride myself on is my ability to read txt spk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. According to the Interwebs turnt up means to be drunk and/or stoned to the highest degree. And the fact that I had to look that up shows that I am WAY past my meme prime.

      Delete
  45. Replies
    1. "Babe" is WAY too much effort to say so they chopped off one of the bs. I wonder what they do with all of that extra time they've saved.

      Delete
  46. This is great, ahaha. Usually it's the man who insists on bailing for such things!

    - Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've been datin' the wrong men then, sistah.

      Delete
  47. I like to send text messages to our kids using their own slang, like this actual text I sent with a picture of me standing in front of a historical marker:

    "Standing on the spot where the Gideon Bible was first invented #turntup

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And then your kids proceeded to roll their eyes so hard they launched straight out of the socket into orbit. I love it.

      Delete
  48. I was almost - almost - lost in translation, but you saved the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be modest. We figured if there was anyone relatively on fleek with the memespeak it'd be you. You savage, fam.

      Delete
  49. That translation was awesome but not as awesome as that little clip of Baby Newton!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Two weeks later and I still get immense joy from watching that clip. Or watching him get sacked.

      Delete