First there was Kickstarter. Then IndieGoGo. But those required an actual project to be funded, which was a huge bummer. Thankfully now there's GoFundMe, where people can ask for money for any personal reason at all. Or... no reason! You can just ask for money because you damn well feel like it!
Now don't get us wrong. We appreciate crowdsourcing for the sake of art and technology and what have you, and have not only held our own Kickstarter campaign in the past but contributed towards the Kickstarters/IndieGoGos of others. We also understand when a huge crisis arises, like when someone gets in an accident that wasn't their fault and ends up with $100,000 worth of medical bills, so they post a GoFundMe for help.
Unfortunately, your average GoFundMe is not like that. Instead, it's shit like this:
"OMG you guys, the mary-joo-wannas has made life hard! Now my son will never get that chicken he's always had his eye on!"
Believe it or not, that's posted from a real life GoFundMe, from a woman asking for $10,000 because her husband doesn't make enough money to buy them a different house and life is hard. Frankly, we think it's ridiculous that people can get away with this. And we think it's even more ridiculous that people will fork over money for sob stories just like this.
And really, this lady isn't the only one. People are on GoFundMe right now asking for $20,000 for an island vacation. Or $50,000 so they can have a Disney princess wedding. Or even just $8,000 so they can "finally realize their dream" of owning a motorcycle.
So today, we decided to take action. Yes, that's right, we decided... to make our own GoFundMe campaign! I mean, why not? Life is hard and we could definitely use some free cash from you
So go check it out. It's fully illustrated and everything. And please... give with your hearts, but above all, give with your wallets. Because life is hard and we obviously need your money much more than you do. And hey, if we suck enough of your money out of you, you can start your own GoFundMe! It's the fun(d) that never ends!
Note: we posted this as backhanded satire, so please don't donate to our GoFundMe! It's just a joke at GoFundMe's expense and we really don't want donations. If you want to support us, go visit our bookstore or buy us a beer next time you're in Denver.
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Beer: Great Basin Wild Horse Ale
Music: The Kooks