Monday, December 14, 2015

The Wheel of Outrage

It's no secret our society has become increasingly impatient. In a world where you can sext your other half, Skype with your aunt in Mexico, and snap a selfie of yourself on the toilet all at the same time, it's no wonder we've become so efficient at using our time. But unfortunately, that impatience has spread to other facets of life, which brings us to today's topic: the fleeting beast of public outrage. It's just amazing how we the public can be so dramatically outraged by something... only to not do anything about it, forget it entirely five minutes later, and then move onto something else to be livid and worked up about.






Ah, the Washington Redskins. Remember how mad you were about that a few months ago? Yeah, we don't either. It's amazing, isn't it, how quickly we forget? We're just glad the heat has finally blown over and the Washington Redskins can go back to sucking ass again, quietly and in peace.

And let's not forget America's favorite nerdy, anorexic Bond villain, Martin Shkreli, the guy that hiked up the price of an AIDS medication by 5,500%. Last month, people were absolutely furious at him and wanted his head on a pike... Now, though, not so much.





It's like the world's worst game show, Wheel of Outrage. Every time we spin the wheel, we find something else to hyperfocus our rage on, while simultaneously forgetting everything else we were so mad about.

It's wacky fun for the whole family! Who knows what we'll be mad at next?














And it's not just the quickness in which we change and redirect our scorn. The other funny thing about public outrage is how quickly it can turn in the opposite direction. Like, how one minute we absolutely hate someone or something... and the next minute we just can't get enough of them. We're looking at you, Chris Brown, you woman-beating-piece-of-shit.






Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got to go check Tumblr out to see what the outrage du jour is. It's been like 5 minutes and we are way behind on what everyone's pissed off at right now.

Cheers and stay livid, folks,
B&B

Beer: Lawyers, Guns, and Money (Crazy Mountain Brewing)
Music: Highly Suspect

123 comments:

  1. I'm outraged you would ruin Wheel of Fortune like that! Oh, wait...
    You hit this one on the head. Back to what I said about over the top political correctness and people being too sensitive. Now they are too flighty and have short attention spans.
    I still don't get the outrage over the Redskins. Sure, let's change it to something completely different and wipe all memory of Native American Indians from our football minds.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I think those overly PC, sensitive people just don't understand how to correctly use the word outrage anymore.
      "People are OUTRAGED by mass shootings!" - Yes, we should be. They're fucked up and unacceptable.
      "People are OUTRAGED by Target selling a women's shirt that has a tiny trophy cartoon on the front, with feminists saying we are no man's trophy!" - (real fucking headline)
      A) Then don't buy the stupid shirt.
      B) Outside of the 10 people that made this headline possible, no one else in the world cares.

      Delete
  2. It's a form of mass hysteria. We get swept up in it then the tide rolls out. It seems like people's hearts are in the right place, though, so it's hard for me to get outraged at the outrage. But, I think the wheel has spun so far around that I'm now outraged by those who are outraged by the outrage!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm outraged at your outrage over other people's outrageous outrage and I can damn well assure you I will do nothing about it.

      Delete
  3. It's actually a fairly logical response by the people though. One, it's way easier to just be mad and grumpy about something than to do anything productive whatsoever. Two, with "the world wide tubes" at our disposal, news and opinions, however stupid, can be spread more easily than before, supplying a constant stream of fresh new hot topics.
    Doesn't change that it's all just stupid fucking bullshit, but who am I to judge?
    (Also hey I did some writing again, and I've stooped low enough to actually ask people to read it without directly asking them. Just curious about what you think is all, even though it's not much to go off.)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I am outraged by your blatant self promotion and I damn well hope that anyone reading this... goes and checks out your writing because you're a great guy and you have a lot of talent.

      Yeah, that's right, we said it and we're not taking it back either, mothahfuckahhh.

      Delete
    2. >you have a lot of talent
      y-you too <3

      Delete
  4. The world has become so fast paced and so fluid, it's hard to remember why we're supposed to be outraged anymore. Sometimes it's just a matter of changing the channel. One person says I'm supposed to be mad because I can't say Merry Christmas, another says I'm supposed to angry because I can't say Happy Holidays. Why can't I just say whatever the hell I want and the person on the receiving end be grateful I took the time to just say anything? I don't get it. People have become too sensitive. Now I'm outraged because I was forced to think about outrage.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I always feel like these headlines are just blown way out of proportion by the news companies to generate outrage over something that doesn't even exist. Like, I have yet to meet/hear of a real person who is genuinely offended by being wished a Merry Christmas. Let's say 1% of people absolutely hate that phrase, and yet each year the news turns it into "THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS." Yeah, right. I'm pretty sure Santa will be fine.

      Delete
  5. I think Blue Martindale has had some work done.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Actually it's all natural. He attributes it to his vegan lifestyle.

      No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, at this point he's more plastic than flesh.

      Delete
  6. Someone's going to eventually create a Thanksgiving-like holiday spin-off called Offensival.
    "So Billy, what are you going to be offended by this Offesival Eve?"
    "I'm going to be offended by McDonalds serving apple slices because it implies that fat people should be gorging themselves on fruit in an attempt to conform to thin-privileged people's ideals."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this holiday already.
      "Joey, you're next. What are you offended by this Offensival Eve?"
      "I'm offended that Billy's fat ass has no self control and because of people like him we can't have Super Sized fries anymore."

      Delete
  7. lmao, you just proved that people are sheep with the last one. Oh, everyone is hating on this, let's hate too. Wait, everyone likes it now, let's like too. Pffft nothing but sheep following the masses to try and be cool.

    People have too many opinions they try and pass off as fact and once one of the dumb sheep listens and helps spread it around, other sheep think it is fact. With the internet you can pull a statistic out your ass, 55% of people have IBS and don't know it, then poof, it goes around and suddenly such figures came from an "official" study.

    That and the PC brigade and the poor pitiful me sensitive idiots and the oh you offended me so now I'm going to sue idiots, can all go pound sand up their 55% IBS ass.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Wait, 55% of people have IBS? There are two of us here... 50% is one out of two... that means ONE of us has IBS. Which one is it? Oh no! My stomach HAS felt a little rumbly today... fuck it, I'm going gluten free. TV tells me that's what I'm supposed to do! Thank God TV always comes through to solve my problems.

      Delete
  8. Wow this is so true. As someone who is part Native American I will say I hate the word Indian or RedSkin but I don't give a shit about teams using it. My sister on the other hand is still outraged about it. The town I grew up in is in an uproar right now because a parent filed a compaint with the board of education complaining about a play the school is doing where Jesus is mentioned or something like that. People just can't believe that others want to keep separation of church and state. I'm not really following it because I don't care. I have friends of all kinds of faiths that doesn't impact what I do/believe on my own time. Which brings me to the Muslims. I have only known maybe 5 or 6 Muslims in my life and they have all been super awesome people. So funny and cool to hang out with. I never once was afraid they would whip out a bomb and blow us all up (which is more than I can say about some white people I know). I have taken to wishing everyone a Happy Festivus (from Seinfiel).

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Awww yeah, Festivus for the rest of us!

      I think I've read before that something like 80% of people genuinely could not care less about the Redskins team name. I'm sure it doesn't help that they're a shitty team and no one even thinks of them unless A) you live in Washington B) you're offended by this so much you think of it even when people aren't going into a mainstream panic about it.

      Also, I've never met a bad Muslim, either. None of them have wanted to kill me, or even convert me. They have shared some amazing recipes with me, though (killer Indian/Pakistani cuisine).

      Delete
  9. We live in such a disposable culture of excess -- why shouldn't it be the same for our moral outrage? Or perhaps we're all just suffering from ADD.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It's ADHD and I'm just outraged that you don't know the difference, and because of it hey is that a cat let's go ride bikes.

      Delete
  10. As a wrestling fan I know two "Mike Tysons". Chris Benoit and Steve Austin. Austin beat his wife and kids and still the fans love him and want him back and would do pretty much anything for him. But every so often people remember that he's a piece of shit who beat his wife. Then they get outraged for a bit and it goes away.

    What Benoit did (double murder suicide yay!) was obviously much worse but, every so often, there are people who think that, you know, we should forgive him and seperate Benoit the man from Benoit the performer and celebrate what he did in the ring.

    Even though he killed his wife, his kid, and himself.

    I want to say "the world" but let's be honest it's Americans are outraged by something new every few days. I don't really mind the culture of outrage much. It gives me something to laugh at. It's like an anthropological study for me. The issue I have with it is that it prevents people from looking at the real problems. That's why it's being fostered. Okay, yeah, Target said something mean on a t-shirt. But what happened when you were looking at that t-shirt and being outraged by it? What shitty legislation is the guvment trying to pass? What is actually happening in your country? You don't know because you're a god damn moron who is bitching about something that doesn't even matter! Fuck you!

    (Not you guys. I love you guys <3)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh yes, we know that it's mainly Americans generating all of this nonsensical outrage. And the funny thing about that is yes, we should be outraged by things that are truly unacceptable like mass shootings and racism and police brutality but then you see things like "People are taking to Twitter and taking to the streets to protest Target over this shirt" and I just think, why are these people not focusing this outrage on something USEFUL?

      Also, didn't know that about Steve Austin but I know all about Benoit, and it's just crazy when people say things like it was a conspiracy or he was just suffering from roid rage or too many concussions and the "real" him wouldn't do that so we should forgive him. Uh, no, murdering your wife and kid is pretty damn unforgivable.

      Delete
  11. So much outrage, so little time. It is so sad that we can't savor our outrage just a little longer. It could be so much more effective, but then I'd miss out on the latest outrage. Damn! I wouldn't want to miss any. Mass shootings, tRump, celebrity quotes, there is just so much to be outraged about. I'm exhausted!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. People get outraged at Trump just enough to inch themselves closer to that impending coronary, but not enough to actually do something about it. And now he's the GOP frontrunner and the presidential race has become one big joke. You suck, America.

      Delete
  12. It's ridiculous. And friends wonder why I avoid people in general! Hermit life is for my own sanity. I like my head. I don't want it to explode.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I love my hermit life, too, but the bad thing about that is we still use the Internet, so we still see that constant outrage. The only real way to avoid it is to disconnect yourself permanently... but I'm just not ready to do that. Too. Many. Cat videos...

      Delete
    2. Did you say you wanted more cat videos? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUqSt0i6zmc

      Delete
    3. Awwwww yes that's awesome! Now we're talking. There's something about cats ruining Christmas that's 110% more hilarious than just a cat acting like an asshole. Cats... they get me, man.

      Delete
  13. We do have part-time outrage. That's why we can't prevent these tragedies, it takes a long time and effort to get Congress to do something.

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    1. Absolutely. We get just mad enough to make headlines, but in a week everyone's sadness/anger/disappointment has blown over and nothing has changed.

      Delete
  14. Funny, I posted a reminder today about Cecil the Lion who was shot by the dentist. That was an outrage a while ago and now everyone has forgotten it. People have ever been fickle. Merry Christmas from me.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, right? A few months ago people were so angry they actually shut down that guy's dentist office. Now he can go right back to being a dentist without anyone noticing or caring now that things have blown over and we're all mad about something else. It's disgusting. What a damn shame.

      Delete
  15. Holy crud this is a funny one.

    I was just thinking the other day about how I'm going to have to find a new identity because my being gay just doesn't make people angry anymore.

    Maybe it will cycle back around? Does that happen?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. No way. Being gay is so fashionable and trendy right now. Hell, we've thought of coming out as gay on the blog just to get some more cool points. But then we'd have to get married to prove it, and since we're already married that'd be two way bigamy, and that's just plain been done before.

      Delete
    2. Then I guess I am going to have to go with my "Honk if you Hate the Needy" stickers after all.

      Delete
    3. I remember when being a gay high schooler was almost a death sentence, social suicide for sure. My daughter and her girlfriend are the "cool kids" and she had me make her a shirt that looks like the NWA album cover only it says Straight outta the closet. I am glad she can have a happy school experience but it makes me laugh at how people "deeply held convictions" change with a little intelligence.

      Delete
  16. Hmmm... you're right, I should just pick an outrage and stick with it. Be faithful in a faithless world. So which outrage should I give my loyalty to?

    'Scuse me whilst my mind boggles and head explodes.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Ooh, I know, you should be outraged by the way TV shows break up seasons into these weird half seasons so you can only see like 6 episodes at a time. Man, that's infuriating!

      Delete
  17. B&B:
    ROFLMAO...FINALLY, someone (make that someoneS) has managed to capture the TRUE essence of what is passing for much of society...in a nutshell.!
    You could write a BOOK just on this (there 'ya go - guaranteed income).
    I love this post, and it should become REQUIRED TEXT in every school across the nation (we already know Europe is lost, and were outraged at that a couple minutes ago).

    WHEEL OF OUTRAGE...that's funny as hell (more "Bread and Circuses" to give the unwashed, low-information crowd)) for reality TV...pitch it to BRAVO, considering the tripe they CURRENTLY have (that Wifey likes) THIS would be a revelatory move for television.

    I've said for some time that our society suffers from A.D.H.D. as well as O.D.D (Oppositional Defiance Disorder).
    That is one helluva combo...for ANY country.

    Another fantastic post.

    Stay safe out there, guys!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm outraged that your comment was so long, when that does not cater to my ADHD needs. Actually, if instead of writing out a comment you could just post a picture next time that'd be great.

      Delete
  18. Patience? I'm the most patient guy you'll ever find.

    By the way, your post was too long. I had to scroll down quickly and just get to the end. I'm outraged by long blog posts.

    You nailed it though. I'm getting tired of outrage and offense. Everyone is so touchy about stuff these days. Everything upsets everyone. We are facing a very bland world if the PC crowd keeps getting their way. At least the world will be more sensitive and unoffensive--and unfunny and boring.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. All of this constant outrage can't be healthy for a person's blood pressure or heart, so now I'm outraged that people are literally killing themselves with outrage. It makes me so angry I could just *ack* heart attack!

      Delete
  19. Hahaha! So right on! Since I moved to Mexico 4 years ago, I've unplugged, mostly. Mostly because I can't get all the cheesy news stations here. Well, I can, but I don't subscribe...well, I do subscribe because I like HBO and Netflix, but I don't watch...much., but I don't tell my friends back in the States that I get TV stations here. I like to make them go nuts. Like when they ask my opinion about Donald Trump. I say, who's that? Immediately, they think I'm an idiot and don't ask dumb questions anymore.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I wish I could play dumb with Donald Trump but I made the mistake of talking about him before so there's no going back now.

      Delete
  20. Just look at the political race, Trump and Hillary? Makes me angry and I'm not even American!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I think she hired him to run so everyone could say, "Hillary? Oh well, at least she's not Trump."

      Delete
  21. I hate this stupid planet too. But you guys are always relevant, humorous, and talented as hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's comments like this that make sticking around this planet worthwhile.

      Delete
  22. A samurai warrior would never put up with this crap. If he were truly outraged by something, he wouldn't just rattle his saber. No sir, he'd plunge it right into the heart of the matter... or the gut... or the neck... whatever. Point is, too many people just like to mouth off about what's wrong with the world, but can't be bothered to lift a delicate little pinky to do anything about it. Too many "protesters" and not enough "activists," I suppose. But it's nuts. There's enough real stuff in the world to raise the hackles without getting in a dither about meaningless stuff.

    It's outrageous, I tell ya! And only you guys could turn a post about this kind of ridiculous behavior into something that's outrageously funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and yet I don't see anyone raising either. Lots of iPhones, though. And well, those really don't do much outside of selfies and angry Tweets.

      Delete
  23. I am offended by the way you make fun of...LOOK! Squirrel! You are so right! I am waiting for whoever to say Bill Cosby is a lovable guy who just needs to be forgiven since he made all those jello commercials because, you know, no bad person ever tried to make themselves look good by using children. Whoever has the "controls" often makes a huge stinkaroo over something that is silly and lessens the actual things that deserve to have our wrath (Mike Tyson)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh wow, don't even joke about that. It's just been long enough after everyone was outraged by Bill Cosby to not just forget about it... but LOVE him again. Ugh. And look at that, he doesn't even have to spike our drink this time. As I said before, I hate this planet.

      Delete
  24. The worst of it is it's righteous rage, as if we are entitled to judge everything, and everyone, whenever. Other drivers seem to bring out the grump in me. . .but, I just swear to myself in the car, hoping the other bad driver feels the vibes. Safer that way. Behaving badly seems to be the trending thing to do. . .but it has repercussions. . .notice how many celebrities and politicians have to apologize for their oopsies - 'did I say that, oh my bad. . .'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true, people feel like they're entitled to be outraged by anything. Like the Target t-shirt debacle (which is a real thing, mind you). People don't like what it says, so they feel the need to be 'outraged' and seek action to stop Target from ever selling them again. How about if you don't like the shirt you just don't buy it? How about that for an action, instead of working yourself up over nothing? Target has no obligation to pull a shirt from their store just because some social justice warrior somehow turned a silly shirt into some deplorable act of misogyny.

      (BTW, Target still sells the shirt because those idiots always forget they're mad about it one way or another)

      Delete
  25. Wowza. Another post that is right on the money (in a manner of speaking).

    IMHO, the human body isn't meant to sustain rage. It really isn't. We can't hold onto it because we burn up or burn out. It's too extreme of an emotion (kinda like how we get PTSD from long-term exposure to violence). We weren't built for it. Now... there are some people who seem to be angry all the time (and constantly pop off)... so maybe my theory is shit. I don't know.

    Did you ever watch the 80s TV show Roseanne? I can't say I watched it regularly, but I clearly remember her saying in one episode (to her family) that whoever screams loudest wins. And then she pointed out that she can/will always scream loudest. Ergo, she always wins. My point is that thanks to social media some idiot (usually a different one with each given circumstance) is always screaming at the top of his lungs. It causes the idiots who read that bit of garbage to begin screaming. Suddenly it seems like there a whole bunch of folks screaming, when the reality is that maybe it's 100 people. One hundred screaming fools that make it all seem like a big freakin' deal. PLUS, they identify their reason for screaming is because they are offended either racially, socially, religiously, etc. In turn, everyone else who identifies with that same philosophy now feels compelled to say, "I don't know what the hell they're yelling about. That is NOT a big deal." And it all becomes a big deal simply because 99% of the people are declaring it's not a big deal. Oh, the pain.

    As for Mike Tyson... it's amazing what a good PR person can do. They can make ANYONE look shiny.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, isn't that the truth. Like, I see these Internet justice warriors - misguided feminists trying to battle what they see as misogyny, misguided fat people trying to battle what they see as fat shaming, etc, and they just spend every waking moment being pissed off at something. I think, doesn't it ever get exhausting being that mad all the time? Wouldn't you rather spend your life trying to be happy instead? But no, I guess arguing with that fit guy who put up a motivational poster which thereby implies fat people are disgusting slobs who need to die is a much more valuable use of your time...

      Delete
  26. Okay, I just did the "superfast scroll" thing through the comments. If this is a repeat, please don't be upset, just gift me enough money to retire on and I'll be up at sparrow's fart next Monday. Anyway...


    "...you can sext your other half, Skype with your aunt in Mexico, and snap a selfie of yourself on the toilet all at the same time..."

    That would imply that your aunt is watching you take a picture of your penis while taking a crap. Did I get that right?

    And again I salute you for being able to isolate one of mankind's biggest problems (at least for the next couple of minutes) and use a cartoon to slap us in the face with it. Thou art the hearts of true satire, m'lords!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one did ask that yet! And well yeah you can do those all at once. You just use different devices. Skype is only from the neck up, mind you. So you can have a lot more going on down below while you're telling Aunt Maria about how crazy the weather has been.

      Oh, and thank you! I'd salute you back, but my saluting hand is currently indisposed taking a belfie. Go ahead, Google that term, realize it's a real thing, and then hate the world even more.

      Delete
    2. I Googled it. Another thing I have no need of for Christmas.

      Delete
  27. You guys are outrageous all on your own. I avoid tumblr and roll my eyes when I see what is trending on Twitter. Though sometimes I click on the trends just to reassure myself that I'm smarter and more sensible than thousands of people.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. We do the same thing, but all that does is make us angrier/sadder for humanity which doesn't leave either of us feeling all that smart. Now we just ignore them if possible. In this case ignorance is absolutely bliss.

      Delete
  28. Wow! You guys really nailed it with this one! I seriously have to wonder what this world would look like if no one got offended or upset by anything. What if we all adopted a good, old-fashioned "live and let live attitude", allowed people to screw up every now and then, and...that's it. I'm pretty sure the social media websites would see a HUGE downturn in activity. I mean, what are people going to post, if not a photograph and an angry tirade?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Psh, but if we did that then people would have to talk to one another in person and work out their problems instead of yelling at each other anonymously over the Internet. I mean, what kind of madness is that?

      Delete
    2. That's what I'm saying, though. If the only option in those brief moments of outrage was to let it go or have a face-to-face confrontation, most people would choose to let it go. After a while, we'd all be pretty forgiving people, because when you really weigh out whether it's worth getting into a face-to-face confrontation, most people would realize: "Nope. It's not that big of a deal." And they'd move on with their lives. I think it's brilliant, personally. So, no more social media for anyone anymore. We can do that, right? (HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right!!!)

      Delete
    3. I think that's brilliant too. That's why it'd never work. People like stupid solutions. And no kidding, we could both give up social media in a heartbeat if it wasn't for the blog and being authors. Most days we don't even *gasp* sign into Facebook. We don't care about what people are eating or yelling at or want to stick their dicks in. We just ignore it and do something better with our time. Imagine that.

      Delete
    4. Imagine that, indeed, Good Sir!

      Delete
  29. Ha - I think we can point the finger at the media as they seek new stories to sensationalize, always stirring the pot of controversy.

    Oh, look at Blue in his Ted Baker suit..and guys Wheel of Fortune will never be the same for me.

    I think I'll just choose the "Frequency of Love" ...

    You guys are brilliant at writing satire.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hey, thanks! And if anyone can pull off that Ted Baker suit, it's Blue. We'll just stick to t-shirts and jeans. Otherwise people might do something ridiculous like start taking us seriously, and we wouldn't want that.

      Delete
    2. You made me wear too much makeup. I look so pale. I'm outraged!

      Delete
    3. Unfortunately this is a racially segregated blog and blue people just do not have as many rights as the black, brown, or white folks. I know, what a shameful time we live in.

      Delete
    4. I forgive you, which - of course - outrages me.

      Delete
    5. @True Blue - Satire? What satire? I've been reading satire all these years???? My head is about to explode. (No, fellas, don't you even dare... :p)

      Delete
  30. I'm STILL mad about the Chris Brown thing! I just saw some commercial that advertised him performing during some holiday special/tree lighting and I thought "JESUS. Have we all forgotten about how he beat the shit out of rihanna then freaked out when someone asked him about it on GMA? Not a good dude." And apparently, we have.

    (Sorry, I know that's not really the point of this whole thing but....chris brown is a piece of shit. Had to be said.)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. And according to Wackypedia he's still getting in brawls and still punching people in the face just because he has a tantrum. He's not gotten better. He's only learned he can do this and get away with it. It's fucking disgusting.

      Delete
  31. I solve it by adopting the philosophy of the Hulk: always be angry at everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, smashing things (or people) always solves all of your problems.

      Delete
  32. It is a wheel of fortune. Whatever the media says we should be outraged about, we are outraged about. Like little puppets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just for once I want to get mad at someone or something on my own. Without being told to.

      Delete
  33. Just be like Mr. T and be angry at everything. Here let show you.
    "I pity the fool who ". See. Easy Peasy!!

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    1. I worry that I just don't have the mohawk or nearly enough gold chains to pull off that kind of 80s rage.

      Delete
  34. I am outraged by this post. How dare you not understand that we are a fast paced society. We like our revenge delivered as quickly as our Big Mac. If you can't keep up with whiplash anger, well, maybe you should just...

    Can you believe Donald Trump has ALL that money and still won't do anything with that hair? Forget this blog. Let's go tweet-shame this fashion victim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And yet somehow his hair is like only the 10th most offensive and awful thing about him.

      Delete
  35. I try to stay ahead of the curve by hating everyone and everything, all the time. So far, it's going pretty well, except for my nasty case of resting bitch face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suffer from that too, but I don't hate it. No, that's the only thing I don't hate. And I guess you're alright. But fuck everyone and everything else.

      Delete
    2. You're okay too. I hate you a little less than I hate everyone else.

      Delete
  36. A meme is being spread on email that claims the U.S. outlawed Islam in 1952, but the president ignores it because he's a Muslim. Every time I see it, I call it what it is, but I don't have enough energy to be angry very often. Picture verification had me in a tizzy last week, however.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Picture verification outrages me too. I don't want to identify a bunch of street signs like the world's worst Sesame Street episode (one of these things is not like the other), I just want to post a fucking comment.

      Delete
  37. Oi! Dear God, you have the picture verification thing. Please, please make it go away.

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    1. If only I could. We disabled that shit the second it came out. Blogger just hates us all. If you make more than like 20 comments at once anything else you comment on subsequently will require that stupid ass picture verification. Yeah, it's dumb as shit. Truly wish I could bathe it in sweet cleansing flames.

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  38. Yep, people get mad at one thing and a day later they are all mad about something stupid. Oh and "Rage boner" that's awesome. Everyone seems to have something that they are all outraged about these days. From red cups, to planned parenthood and hating on all of a certain race or religion.

    But you know what sets me off? Meme's that spout flat out lies about things and people just post them as fast as they can without fact checking anything. I'm constantly calling people out on those and you know what? They get mad at me for letting them know that what they just said was an absolute lie. I even post a link to what was really said or how it came to be a lie someone made up and they don't care. Unbelievable.

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    1. Oh yes, gotta love the spreading of misinformation. If it's on a meme it must be true, right? Memes would never lie to us. Also, I firmly believe that most people have no interest in being right or wrong, they just want to be angry... facts be damned!

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  39. Outrageous!!!!

    On a more stupider note, that Martin guy recently bought a one-of-a-kind-never-to-be-done-ever-again vinyl pressing of music by Wu Tang Clan for roughly $3 million.

    Also, the Redskins became the Redskins in the 30's as a tribute to their coach, who was supposedly 1/4 Sioux.

    And if you want really stupid stuff, just check out the nonsense at college campuses, or even better, at a PS in Brooklyn, NY, where the principal banned the words Christmas, Thanksgiving and the Pledge of Allegiance.

    Books By G.B. Miller

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    1. Don't forget that college in Tennessee that wanted everyone to call each other by the bullshit, made up gender pronoun 'ze' instead of 'he' or 'she' because now even THOSE are offensive terms.

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  40. This is why I do not watch the news, do not read the news, do not read what people post on social media, and generally just hide in my cave and pretend no one else exists.

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    1. I've tried all of that, and yet somehow it still reaches me. The only true answer is to disconnect your Internet service altogether... but dammit, I just don't have it in me. The Internet has sunk its teeth into me and you just won't believe what these 10 celebrities said #8 shocked me.

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    2. I'm enraged about nitpicking people with too much time of their hands, who are outraged by Target tee shirts instead it more important things. Things like Climate Change, ISIS, innoocent women and children gunned down because of gun nuts (I'm just a gun owner), or more importantly will there ever be another time during my life when braless little hippie chicks shared the streets with minishirt wearing office girls, because pant suits weren't allowed in most offices downtown, like they did in the good old days. It's a good thing there wasn't social media back then or some of you young whippersnappers would see how hot your mamma tittlys looked in her see through tee shirts, while she was smoking dope and dropping acid with of your with your hippie daddy's best friend. I'm glad for you that you didn't see it, but you can take my word, yo mamma was easy on the eyes, provided she didn't stick her tittys in them.
      You people need to get a life or go play with yourself cause if this bellyaching don't stop I'm fixing to get mad.

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    3. That's okay as long as we don't bring back those awful 70s shorts for men that were way too short and had a slit up the middle. I've seen pictures of my dad in those and it's just truly something I wished I had never seen.

      And unfortunately our parents were born way too late and missed the hippie era by a complete decade. I guess we'll have to take your word on "dem hippie tittays."

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  41. As you've amply illustrated American Culture has degraded. Yo daddy most likely was ruined by the John Travolta (Disco Disease). As the braless little hippy chicks were also infected, men no longer had to worry about titty blindness. That resulted in a bunch of daddy having relationships with Monkeys, resulting in the spread of Herpes and HIV?AIDS. Back in the hippie days any kind of Bull Head clap could be cured overnight with penicillin. Ask yo daddy,no make that yo granddaddy see iffen I'm telling the truth.

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    1. Unfortunately my grandpa's dead (most likely of Disco Fever) so I can't ask him. And he was Mexican, so he likely didn't have the clap, but rather el aplauso. It's slightly more festive and serenaded by maracas, but equally as painful. They aren't kidding when they say do NOT drink the water there.

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  42. I was going to comment but became outraged by my lateness... now I can't think of 'shite' to say. Oh, I know - my favorite exit line (NOT): Have a nice day!

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    1. It's a statistically proven fact that 95% of people who say "Have a nice day!" in a cheery tone are actually dead on the inside. They're not fooling anybody. It's just basic science.

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    2. And I'm outraged because Dixie Dear didn't even say, "Oh hi Blue, how pale you're looking today. Can I get you some M&M's?" I mean...

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  43. tell it true!! people just whine too much in general - and that makes me mad! grr!
    oh well, i'm over it now =)
    merry f-ing christmas whether you like it or not!
    love stopping by here for some truth! great stuff as usual!

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    1. Oh God no why would you say that we celebrate Kwanzaa here soooo offended aaaaauuuuggggh melting asdlkj lkf hlkp 2j929j f2pj9

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  44. Haha, you guys are always to the point :-)

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    1. Stay tuned for next week when we beat around the bush.

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  45. Dat ist twu. I don't even know who that Martin guy is and what he did.

    As much as I should be promoting my books on social media, I hardly go on those sites because IMHO, they're like the media. They pump everyone up and incite hate and anger. Too much hate and anger in this world.

    FYI, I do feel strongly about certain things, and will argue to no end with someone... but not on the internet.

    Peace out Honkies!

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    1. I like that attitude, keep arguing offline. It's a lot harder to call someone names and incite death threats when they're sitting quietly in front of you in a coffee house, isn't it?

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  46. I'm late to this post, so no comment will be up to date. Might as well move along, if you even remember I was here.

    Who are you guys?

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    1. Wait, what are you talking about? What post? Where are we?

      Well, nice of you to stop by anyway... whoever you are.

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  47. Well, I'm not going to touch the Redskins one, because it won't matter. But you seem to have missed that the current outrage is about scarves that look like mafioso neckties. Hey, why didn't they actually refer to them as that? What is it? Boston Necktie? Or is it something else? It's been a long time since I heard the term. But you can't tell me that wasn't the polar bear's tongue pulled through its slit throat.

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    1. Scarves are making people mad now? I guess we missed the memo on that. I'll promptly return my Christmas scarf in rage. Uh oh, I also said the word Christmas, which apparently makes people rage also. Winter Holiday, Winter Holiday, I take it baalsdjkh asldkhafljkahkf saflkhafsklh gi2g4

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    2. Only scarves on cookie polar bears at Starbucks. Because Starbucks.

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  48. Everybody Lookin for their 15 minutes of outrage! Ha, it would be really funny if it weren't so sad. The truth is some of the really serious things in the world that EVERYONE should be outraged about, could be fixed, but 'the Wizards' won't let that happen. Much better to keep everyone hopping up and down about a tee shirt or animal fir, or some other fictitious outrage.

    I could be outraged at the overall foolishness in the world, but that would be futile.

    Very timely post.

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    1. Ha, yeah, kinda like how everyone was pissed off about the NSA spying on them a year or so ago, and now everyone's completely forgotten about it and yet Obama signed a bill into law just yesterday that contains a loophole where it says the government can spy on us for any reason they deem justifiable? Uh... yeah. :)

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  49. I do think the Redskins is a bit edgy for a name, but I laugh at anyone who actually takes up arms over it.

    At least it's not this.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwin_Brown

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    1. Wow, that beats Redskins in offensiveness by a mile. For the record, though, I do think Redskins is a terrible name for a team. I mean, you don't see any basketball teams called the Washington Blackies.

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    2. I was totally thinking of that example! I like the way you work ;)

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  50. The attention span in this country is seriously fucked. Speaking of outrage, why the hating on red Starbucks cups? Because they're not decorated with crucifixes?

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    1. Isn't that some irony? Nothing says Christmas spirit like a pair of wooden planks that Jesus dragged, was nailed to, and died on.

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  51. I can't believe I almost missed this funny yet frightening post! This would make a perfect SNL skit or South Park episode. I know I've said it before, but you really hit the nail on the head. When I was trying to read a local news story, I tapped on celebrities who support Trump, and Tyson's name popped up. Of course they're good friends, and the scary thing is that I would even waste time reading about it in the first place. Now I'm ready for round 2 of fun with B & B!

    Julie

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    1. We actually didn't know that until now, but their friendship makes complete sense. Hell, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if we see President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Tyson, whose first order of business is punching those damn Muslims in the face and biting their ears off.

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  52. I get what you're saying. People really need to choose their battles. Being outraged at everything just makes you really not truly care about anything. Like, the Redskins.. I couldn't care less about football in general and yeah it's sorta a twist name, but do you see native Americans protesting it? I don't.. so if they don't care, why should we? It's sportsball.. there are other more important things, right.
    And this Martin guy.. yes, he's a douche but I can see his business decision and respect the cutthroatness of it, but still.. douchey. He got what was coming pretty much immediately though so.. problem solved.
    The red cup guy? I literally know of no one who actually took him seriously. It was like a fake outrage or something. I didn't even watch the video, because fuck giving that guy any ad money, but I got the jist of it. He's a moron any which way you look at him Though.

    Eh. I tend to not give a crap about anything, so you won't really see me ranting about anything. The things I do care about.. I always care about.

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    1. Yep, absolutely!

      1) In a survey, almost 90% of Native Americans said they just don't care about the Redskins football name. That pretty much speaks for itself.
      2) I feel like if Martin Shrkeli had kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't have become nearly as hated as he is today. But he acted like a complete smug douche about the entire thing, and even goaded everyone that criticized him via talk show or Twitter, and now he's publicly paying for it.
      3) As stated above, I'm not unconvinced the red cup thing wasn't just an elaborate PR stunt by Starbucks themselves. I saw not one single person that was offended by that, even hardcore Christians. So... who the hell was mad, anyway? And why did it make national news if he's the only one mad?

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