Monday, November 30, 2015

The ABFTS Post Fight Analysis








Hey all! We're both out of town visiting family and enjoying the post-holiday calmness of not punching another person in the face for a $5 toaster while trampling over a sea of screaming toddlers. We also won't have much access to the Internet that doesn't involve a floundering 3G connection, so let this quickly drawn, pre-scheduled comic serve as our weekly post.

And hey, even though it was drawn way in advance, we bet we called it, didn't we? A bunch of people beat the crap out of each other over a $100 off-brand flat screen TV, someone stole this year's popular toy by ripping it directly out of the hands of a small crying child, and an 80 year old woman was trampled to death by a herd of fat soccer moms rushing to snag up a $50 iPad. Also, it all took place in a Wal-Mart, because it always happens in a Wal-Mart.

It's like we're psychic, right?

So excuse our laziness and our sparseness around the blogosphere as we spend some much needed time with family. We'll be back next week, ready to punch out some middle aged shoppers for the last $20 food processor. Uh, we mean ready to bring the funny.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
B&B

49 comments:

  1. Are the people who camp out for these great deals completely unaware of the internet? I actually shopped on Black Friday, but I did so online. I was trampled by a few 1's and 0's but I live.

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  2. I will never understand the "joy" of shopping on Black Friday. Especially with the convenience of the internet. It makes no sense to me. Why fight crowds when you can push a few buttons and get the same deals with zero hassles and stay in your PJs? Insane. Have fun with your families!

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  3. Oh man these are the times I'm glad I don't live in the States anymore. Black Friday is craziness for sure! Hope you guys are enjoying quality family time! Looking forward to your next posts.

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  4. Cyber Monday's just the hacker equivalent of Black Friday, right? Elite hackers dossing each other's mainframes to get the most 5G access to the craziest cyber-deals?

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  5. Yet another reason why I don't go anywhere on Black Friday. Or to Wal-Mart if I can help it. I'm not so broke minded that I can't pay full retail from the safety of my home.

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  6. It was particularly calm in the UK on Black Friday. Last year there was a heavy weight round in Currys electrical store. This year we Brits did not venture forth.

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  7. You guys can have your Black Friday. Unfortunately it has spread to the rest of the world - I have been deluged with ads both on the computer and on TV. I mostly only shop on the internet anyway, but Black Friday and Cyber Monday do not tempt me one little bit. Have a good break guys. Enjoy yourselves.

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  8. B&B:
    Why, yes...you guys NAILED this one, and rightly so.
    (we're of like minds today...scary, huh?)

    Wifey and I do NOT participate in the "Seasons Beatings" all the morons LOVE to wish the rest of us.
    Glad you have managed to get away from it all...you aren't missing much (and that is a GOOD thing when it comes to shopping right AFTER Thanksgiving).
    No "thanks" going on(or being given) in those stores, that's for sure.
    Just a lot of tackling, left hooks and right uppercuts.

    Enjoy the time away and stay safe out there, guys.

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  9. I just bought a few things online and didn't get involved in the whole "Stabbing" thing. Unfortunately I didn't have enough money to get everything I wanted but oh well. Enjoy the time away guys. Remember to love your family because they're the only ones you have, as much as you wish it weren't true.

    Then again you do have a second family; your blogging family.

    And we love you <3.

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  10. Sure, some people got into fights in a Walmart, but a lot of other things happened while you were stranded in the land of 3G internet.

    Things you wouldn't have guessed ahead of time.

    Like Donald Trump said something offensive and then spent the next few days defending it.

    Someone went on a shooting spree and everybody went online to say that this proved what they've been saying all along.

    Oh, and some families got into arguments over Thanksgiving dinner.

    This is what happens when you write your bits ahead of time. You miss the unexpected.

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  11. Hope you're enjoying your quiet. I avoided the Black Friday brawls too. I'm back to my quiet and catching up on internet stuff. Have a great week!

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  12. Sooo glad our Walmarts, at least the ones here, aren't squeezy, crazy arse places. Black Friday hasn't caught on big here either, so much nicer.

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  13. Oh course you called it. You guys always do. I always suspected Elmo of shopping at Walmart.
    Glad you've been enjoying quality time with family. It's what this holiday thing is supposed to be about.

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  14. Yeah, I just stayed home and shopped online and got the same deals. Don't know why people line up when most of the stock is reserved my online shoppers anyway.

    But enjoy your time off, and I hope you guys had an awesome Thanksgiving!

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  15. Wow! No music? And worse yet, NO BEER?!?!?!

    Sorry yer Thanksgiving was so fowl. I mean, foul.

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  16. Apparently no one died-they called it a good thing in the news. It is if it was a war torn country but this is over some crap that will break within 6 months or end up either in a garage sale or the trash bin in 5 years. Havings fights and taking away from a child's hands happened-Isn't it great how post Thanksgiving is being brought to the forefront..um....nevermind

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  17. If you can body slam someone and get me a new mixer, that would be awesome. Mine died while I was attempting to make a cheese cake seriously no clue why I even attempt to cook.

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  18. This year had some real goodies, Black Friday is the street fighters guide of how to defend and attack at the same time!

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  19. It was pretty much what you said it was, although not quite as crowded. Some survival instincts cut in enough so more people stayed home than usual. Maybe the species will make it for another year. Now it's "cyber Monday" which is also supposed to be a big deal. Maybe the point is to get the internet to crash because too many people want to buy stuff online. I think it's a terrorist plot and Walmart must be involved. Think I'll just have a beer and chill. Enjoy your family time.

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  20. If you were to post via your "floundering 3G connection" would that mean that you were literally phoning it in?

    At any rate, have fun in the ... mountains? ... farm? .... research station in Northern Alaska?

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    1. Close. I'm currently in the Republic of North Korea visiting "Uncle Kim" and Brandon is in an Antarctic substation researching the mating habits of one legged penguins. He has some weird hobbies. Thanks for the well wishes and thanks to anyone else who dropped by.

      - posted via cellphone aka literally phoning it in

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  21. It happens every damn year. I'm just surprised that more people are killed each year during the Black Friday madness.

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  22. I am proud of trampling those annoying toddlers and slow senior citizens* to get my iPad deal...you people can always have more kids...but a $50 iPad is once-in-a-lifetime.

    Thank you God for Madison Avenue, things made in China (where they keep annoying toddlers in factories making crap for cheap Americans) and the total commercialization of what used to be a holiday of religious significance.

    I guess we deserve it for usurping a former pagan holiday in the first place...we're back full circle.

    * I can only make senior citizen jokes for a few more years...then I'm a member...

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  23. How could you not punch another person in the face for a $5 toaster?

    Happy belated Thanksgiving. Yes, I'm late, so what?

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  24. Yeah, Black Friday isn't worth it. Not at all. I don't even like crowds that AREN'T poised to beat the crap out of me over the last pair of Frozen underwear, so imagine me in a crowd that WAS not only ready, but HOPING to do so! Apparently, it's just not Christmas at their house unless someone has Elsa and the Gang stretched across their backside.

    I'm pretty sure that if I were faced with a situation like that, I would do one of three things:

    (1) Join in the fight, going full-on ghetto and throwing fists left and right
    (2) Find the nearest table and hide underneath it in the fetal position until the madness was over
    (3) By far the smartest option, run back to my car and drive away as fast as I possibly could, having learned my lesson and vowing to stick to Amazon and eBay from that day forward.

    Hope you're having a great time with your families. :)

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  25. Like I told Bobby, you'll have to stop by when you get a chance- MWN has the list of "top ten states most likely to get involved in a Black Friday brawl." Yes, somebody actually ran the numbers.

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  26. Hope you're having fun with the fam! Enjoy!

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  27. Enjoy the family. I not only didn't shop on Black Friday, I didn't watch the news to see what happened at Walmart. The dumbest thing I did was drive my daughter back to Boston on Sunday. Crazy driving for about 15 hours.

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  28. I don't know what happened on Thursday or Friday. I'm not sure, but I think I spent most of both days in bed.

    Love,
    Janie

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  29. My biggest issue is that I don't shop. My second biggest issue is that my wife's birthday is 3 days before Christmas. My third biggest issue is trying to get rid of the black eye before i go back to work after new Years!

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  30. Happy Pist Thanksgiving. Enjoy some time for yourselves!

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  31. That should say Post Thanksgiving.

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  32. Wally World always attracts the wrong kind of people

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    1. That's a bit simplistic Adam. It attracts a lot of people who don't have much money to spend. They have to fight for everything, particularly in the US.

      I go to Wally World once in a while and I have never seen any of the horrid things or people everyone says go there.

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  33. Lol yeeeeeeeaaaaaah I'm soooo not a fan of Christmas shopping. Unless I start in September.

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  34. Merry Christmas everyone! Nice illustrations.

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  35. Because it always happens at Walmart. Damn straight. That's why This Girl hasn't been there in ages. If I have to get it at Walmart, that's a really bad day.

    Miss you guys. Be safe out there.

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  36. It's OK, I'm satisfied with that Elmo Lucha Libre pic!

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  37. I'm sure that probably happened somewhere. They should call it Brawl Friday. Enjoy time with your families.

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  38. A couple years back there was a story about someone who got trampled to death on Black Friday at a NY Walmart. Yup. That was our Walmart at the time--the only one within a 30 mile radius of NYC.

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  39. Should I believe this? You guys probably took time off so you could camp out all night at your favorite Walmart without anyone knowing. C'mon, what deals did you get?

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  40. I've never done the Black Friday thing. We did go to Costco, but they don't really have any special sale since everyday is sale day there. It was no more crowded than normal and in fact a bit less crowded than normal I'd say.

    They should have a special TV broadcast showing nothing but Black Friday mobs. I'd watch that. There were some good altercations shown on the news.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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  41. Oh Walmart!! Come for the savings, stay for the knife fights.

    My brother went to Walmart on Black Friday to buy a shotgun. He was unsuccessful.

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  42. My wife went out at 6pm on Thanksgiving night with her sisters, leaving me to get drunk with my brother-in-laws. I did it one year, just to try to see some fights, but now that everyone has a phone with a video camera I never have to leave my computer :)

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  43. My sister-in-law went out Thanksgiving night with a cast on her list from surgery. She couldn't even get her own plate, yet she went to Black Friday...

    Hope you had some great family time!

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  44. Hi Guys,

    Are you still enjoying a break? I did not shop on Thanksgiving as I refuse to because as long as consumers will shop the stores will remain open and I know people who had to work. I did go out Friday and found some really good buys nothing major but, the mall had basically everything 50 percent off until about 2:00 pm. I went early so no big crowds. I think they all went Thanksgiving night.

    I went to Walmart on Saturday and asked the cashier how it was and she said "I think people go insane on Black Friday which is now Thanksgiving"...she said there was a lot of pushing and crowding and customers were very rude to the cashiers, who have to work on Thanksgiving so they can save 10 bucks...where is the logic in all this? Of course Walmart wanted to fill their pockets with profits, profits, profits.

    I hope you both had a great holiday enjoying your families.

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