No, it's not deflecting projectiles with his mostly empty cranium. It's sitting there. And doing nothing. Which, as mentioned, is not a particularly great talent to have. I mean, that's not something we really value in people. Well, unless you work in a cubicle.
But because of his ability to sit there and do nothing, this poodle makes an incredible Caring Canine service dog. And contrary to the few marbles rolling around in his skull, he's actually a certified service dog that specializes in bringing comfort to sick and dying hospital patients, something I've posted about before. He even has his own goddamn business card, something *I* don't even have as a person.
And no, I'm not making that up.
|The ID picture truly captures his vacant eyed stare|
And yes, my wife has a barrage of excuses as to why Little Man is staring off into space, or looking at the ground, or feasting on his nether regions.
But I'll be damned if it doesn't work. Apparently kids that are struggling with reading don't feel shy reading to a cute little dog. And a lot of them have had very positive experiences with Little Man... and his ability to just sit there flawlessly doing nothing.
If anything, the real struggle is with my wife, Meli, who has to supervise. And has to not laugh when kids make mistakes like the following, which is a very real fumble that some little girl made last week.
This is what the book actually said...
Which seems like something Wonder Woman would totally do.
But when the girl reached that part of the story, she read it like this, without skipping a beat.
Which elicited this response...
And, in turn, this response...
But thankfully my wife recovered with this...
And it was a damn good save, because this was all Meli could think about at the time: something that Wonder Woman probably would NOT do.
Ultimately, my dog is even better at this than my wife because he'll never laugh at a child for letting it slip that Wonder Woman once dropped dat booty on some unsuspecting soldiers. It's an art, and Little Man's ability to sit there looking profoundly disabled is helping children all across Denver learn how to read.
So while I laugh at him for being kinda dumb, he's leaps and bounds better at helping others to read than I am as a writer. Which is kinda sad if you think about it.
But we make a damn good team, and the way I think of it, we're almost like a duo running a hustle. He gets the kids hooked on reading, and then I snare them in with my and Brandon's books.
...Or at least that's how I justify my own dog being a better teacher of children than I am.
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)
Beer: Great Basin Cerveza Chilebeso
Music: Paul Simon