Debra: Which movie stars will portray you in the mega-blockbuster super hit movie Hollywood will make of your blog? Casting suggestions for other blog characters also welcome.
For Brandon, definitely a younger, pre-prison Robert Downey Jr. And let's just say that Bryan's been mistaken for Channing Tatum more times than he can count.*
*Because Bryan can't actually count
Also the part of Bryan's awesome Mexican wife (or Mexiwife, for short) would clearly be played by Salma Hayek... because... uh, she's hot?
Remember, kids, before he was your favorite snarky superhero, Robert Downey Jr. was a heroin addict who was in and out of prison and we all just kinda forgot about it!
Fang (who hit us with a machine gun barrage of questions): All-time favorite beer? All-time favorite beer I can probably get over here in the Netherlands?
We... have no idea what's available over in the Netherlands. I mean, do you guys even have craft beer, or do you just mash grain with rocks in your grass hut and then let it ferment in brown river water?
Kidding, kidding! We assume you want something more than just "Heineken" or "Amstel."
Our favorite beer changes with each passing day and each passing hangover, but if you have any access to any kind of Lagunitas or any kind of Deschutes. they make some pretty damn tasty beers. Lagunitas Sucks is probably one of Bryan's favorite beers of all time, and Deschutes Mirror Pond is a good go-to beer for both of us.
A lot of craft beer snobs (and by that we mean hipsters) will tell you that the only good beer is some hoppy, nasty, bitter beer that tastes like wheat-flavored gasoline. And they grimace painfully through every last sip pretending that it's actually good. Don't be that guy. He's an asshole, and he's only lying to himself.
Fang: aBftS meetup when?
As soon as we get enough people in Colorado who want to meet up with us. Usually those are just called book signings. Or Alcoholics Anonymous. Or an intervention.
Fang: Ever considered going for a more traditional webcomic format (ie actual comic pages instead of images surrounded by text (or even smaller pages surrounded by shorter texts))? If yes, what made you not go that route (aside from the obvious "so much work" argument)?
Actually, that's not more work, we just think it's boring. It's less personal. We both read a ton of web comics, and yet we probably can't tell you a single thing about the majority of their authors. You go read their 3 or 6 panel comic, you chuckle, you leave the page. That's it.
We like being able to mix comics with words, and we like letting people have a sneak peek into our lives. What we do. What we think. And we like interacting with our readers via the comments. Hearing what they think. What they do. We just don't think we'd get that same kind of personal interaction with a straight up web comic.
Besides, we're writers first and cartoonists second. And if people can't be bothered to read the words on our blog, then they're damn well not gonna be bothered to read our books.
Fang: Think you could go a month without body-horror humor in your comics?
Fang: If I ever happen to be near you (wherever that may be), mind if I drop by?
If "near" means "in my back yard" I would probably advise against that unless you're a fan of flying buckshot. But if you're in town, give a shout! In the four years we've been blogging we've never gotten the chance to meet a fellow blogger. We've had a few attempts, but plans fell through. We need to change that.
Maybe people are just terrified of the thought of us turning them into a comic and posting about it.
Fang: Y'all ever tried programming? You should!
Brandon: Yes! I successfully programmed my coffee pot just this morning!
Bryan: Like John Wick, I have internal programming that says that if anyone kicks my dog, it'll unleash my trained assassin skills and lead me on a bloody rampage. Oh, also, I used to program my own video games in high school in a very archaic language called Q-Basic, but the memory space in my brain devoted to that particular skill was replaced with John Wick's kung fu grip and icy stare.
Fang: Which do you prefer, dogs or cats? And why is it dogs?
Brandon: I prefer dogs because if any of my cats were the size of my dogs I know they'd happily devour me.
Bryan: You might think that because of the John Wick answer it's dogs, but you would be wrong. My cats have never once projectile diarrhea'd on me, shat on the carpet, puked and ate it, or rolled around in literal garbage, so the cats pretty much win by default.
Fang: As a hobbyist writer, what is a good place/way to get broad constructive feedback on drafts?
Find a writing group. Meet with them. If they're twats, move along. If they're cool, read their stuff. If their stuff sucks more than yours does, move along. Don't go to a writing group looking to be the all star, because that just means no one will be able to help you improve. Surround yourself with those who are better than you. They'll help you learn, and that beats a cute little pat on the back any day.
Fang: Opinions on the modern short attention span culture? Do/did you take this into consideration when setting up the blog/its posts? Relatedly, have you ever sacrificed quality to reach a wider audience?
Brandon: I think the internet is to blame, as well as the overabundance of shitty television. We know people are gradually getting too lazy to read words. It's why we started adding comics around here in the first place. It just so happens that Bryan happens to be damn good at it. And personally, we think it only adds to the quality. We'd never sacrifice quality for the sake of a wider audience. That's lame.
Bryan: Everything's broken up into fast-paced, bite-sized doses now. Look at this funny picture on Facebook. Now tweet a quick sentence on Twitter. Now watch this funny 1 minute clip on Youtube. Now read this 3 panel web comic. People are conditioning themselves to view entertainment in quick, instant gratification-sized chunks, which is destroying their attention span. I'm guilty of it too, which is why I disconnect the Internet when I write. Otherwise... I watch a whole lotta funny cat videos and write a whole lotta nothing.
Fang: What's something on your bucket list you think I should do too? (Yes, the answer is going on my bucket list.)
Stand up in front of 100+ people and give a presentation on something you're passionate about. Make sure you interact with the audience, and do take questions at the end. And above all, have fun with it. It's not only a great way to break out of your shell and confront the common fear of public speaking, but it can help rekindle your love for your chosen activity and remind you why you're doing it in the first place.
We try to do this at least once a year.
Alex J. Cavanaugh: What type of music do you like? Do you play any instruments? And what's the weirdest concert experience you've ever had?
We like Norwegian synthpop postcore funktronica. No, actually, we like just about anything, minus the watered down pop music you'll hear on the radio (sorry Katy Perry/Taylor Swift/The Biebs) and the very, very hickish flavor of country that's heavy on twang and possibly incest. And while Bryan can play a killer kazoo and Brandon has a knack for making armpit fart noises, neither of us are musically inclined. We'll leave that to the professionals.
Now, the weirdest concert experience...
Bryan: Hands down that was the opening band that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Imagine this: a rail thin guy with beady eyes, long hair, and a wifebeater, playing bongos, standing next to the most hipsterish looking drum player on the planet, clad in a Bob Saget dad sweater and swept-over hipster hairdo. But he's not even the weirdest one, because the keyboard player beside him is at least 60 years old, wearing red overalls and a red cap, and looks like sad, old, fat Super Mario.
And those still aren't even the weirdest members, because the guitar player looks like she's 12, which I pray she isn't because she's only wearing a leather jacket and you can see her underwear. There's also a man on stage, out of shape, hairy, and with a half mullet, wearing full make up. He doesn't actually do anything but 'vogue' on stage while the singer sings. And the singer, who has eyebrows that could put an eye out and is wearing a full body parachute that highlights her sad little triangle boobies, starts practically gargling the microphone as she shrieks. Not sings. Shrieks.
They're a band called Friends, apparently they've since disbanded (thank GOD) and they are without a doubt the weirdest and most awful concert-related experience I've ever had. The audience was dead silent when they performed, and after, I didn't see a single person go by their merch table.
Deb: OK, my question, is whether you ever compromised your humor because you were afraid of offending someone? I only ask because I appreciate how open you guys are and I love your style. Maybe it's because I'm a female but sometimes I think I can't say this or that for fear of crossing the line.
Damn, Deb, we love this question. And you know what? We don't ever hold back. Playing it safe never got anyone anywhere. Now, we don't intentionally set out to offend or be mean-spirited just for the sake of shock value. We just tell it like it is. We poke fun at everyone and everything, even ourselves, and we never try to be dicks about it. Because of that, we feel like most people can see our intentions and are less likely to fly off into a blind rage when we say something particularly offcolor.
Besides, no matter what you say, and no matter how you say it, there are always people who will find a way to get offended. Life's too short trying to chop your work down to please everybody, because the sad truth is that you can't, so you might as well have fun with it and cater to the people who like you for you.
Walking on eggshells is no way to live your life, even online, and we have no apologies for anything we've ever posted, nor will we ever pull a post down. We're proud of our work, we stand by it, and anyone who says otherwise can see the door.
Just like 'Murica doesn't negotiate with terrorists, we don't negotiate with assholes.
Source: from here.
Cheers and stay true to yourself, folks,
Brandon and Bryan
Music: NOT Friends
Beer: Mammoth Brewing IPA 395