And for us, we just figured it'd be an easy paycheck since they're all the exact fucking same. So today we wanted to take you through our creative process* as we flesh out the next great American YA novel.
1. The Nobody That Saves Everybody
First off, we need a protagonist. Now, this can't be a buff, seasoned war veteran. That would be ridiculous. No, we need a puny teenage girl who's going to take down the entire muh-fuckin' establishment, and she's not going to do it with a gun or a grenade launcher. No, those kinds of weapons are for those peon soldiers that she's rebelling against. She needs to fight the system with something archaic and stupid like a bow and arrow, or throwing knives, or hey, I know, what about a slingshot?
Watch out, Big Brother! Your plated armor and assault rifles are no match for our protagonist's feisty teenage attitude!
2. A System In Which To Rebel
YA books are all about rebelling against the system, man, so instead of fleshing out something like a 'plot' we figured we'd just put them up against the meanest
And this will go on for hundreds of years, without question, until our protagonist steps forward and changes EVERYTHING.
3. So. Much. Angst.
Sure, there's going to be some kind of huge war going on, but at any given time that should take a permanent backseat to an angsty teenage romance that involves love triangles, forbidden love that is not to be, and an impossibly handsome, muscular farm boy that despite being built like a bronze god is never quite as good of a fighter as our puny teenage girl protagonist.
But worry you not, reader, what he lacks in fighting ability and overall personality he more than makes up for with sweet, sweet angst. Yes, that's right, we don't need a second protagonist, we need an angstagonist.
And in the end, the rebellious teenagers shut down an entire government with nothing but hand weapons and sweet, fiery angst, and they all lived happily ever after... until the next YA dystopian 'flavor of the month' book comes out. Then it starts all over again! Yay!
Cheers and stay angsty, folks!
Music: Jeff Beck