A few of our older fans may remember that back in 2012 we did a radio interview with a fairly popular Internet radio station whose name has been changed in order to
Where does radio conquer streaming? Only everywhere. But if you want specifics, we'll give you a list. Starting with...
#1. Commercials - How Else Would I Know McDonald's Has A Value Meal?
Let's face it, too much uninterrupted music gets pretty boring. It's nice to mix it up a bit with long-winded ads for mattress factories and mortgage brokers. Now, streaming may have commercials, but when it comes to unapologetic advertising, radio has streaming beat hands down. In radio, there's a bare minimum of 10 minutes of second-rate McDonald's ads and miracle weight loss pills to every 3 minutes of music. Streaming just can't top that.
#2. DJs - Those Golden Voiced Angels
It's like streaming isn't even trying with this one. They don't even HAVE DJs. And who doesn't want to spend their morning commute listening to the razor sharp wit of "Jimmy and the Doosh-Nozzle," dishing out more lame Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber news than you can handle between enough "zany" sound effects to make Benny Hill roll over in his grave?
And it IS news they're reporting on, people. These guys are practically journalists.
#3. Let's Play This Song Until You Hate It
In streaming, songs are played completely at random, usually tailored to your own liking. But the radio says 'fuck variety!' If the masses say they love a song, then dammit, the radio is going to play that song every hour on the hour until even just the thought of that song's title entering your brain makes you want to rip your own ears off. Hell, turn on the radio right now and I bet you can STILL heard Lorde warbling through the hit song every person on this planet has heard at least 7,000 times, "Royals."
#4. Personal Testimonials - This Product Works For Me Because They Paid Me To Say It Did
We've already touched on commercials and on DJs, but to show you just how great radio is, they've actually combined the two into one amazing feature: the DJ testimonial! Sure, you could hear a quick 30 second ad for a car dealership, but that's weak. Instead, you get the pleasure of hearing a 3 minute testimonial on how your favorite radio DJ went to Glen Tompkin's Kia and Hyundai just off the interstate and was treated like a king, and now he's rolling in the sexiest Kia Accent that $12,000 can buy. That equates to advertising (and radio) gold!
Yes, that's right folks, back in 2012 we were the special hour long guests on a live radio show and by the time they finally got to us that interview was the best 46 seconds we ever had. We answered one question, told one quick anecdote, and plugged one of our books so fast we could probably be voiceover artists for the side effects of prescription medicine.
Let's see music streaming top THAT kind of listening experience.
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Brandon and Bryan
Beer: Deschutes Twilight Ale
Music: Music? We don't have time for music. We're too busy listening to the radio.