Monday, November 17, 2014

Local Idiots Buried In Snow/New About Us

Hey, folks. As much as we'd love to bring you a new post today, our lead cartoonist's Internet is experiencing major hiccups and won't allow him to post any pictures from his computer. Or do much of anything, which means no Facebook, no trollish Internet arguments, no Brazilian fart porn, and no hilarious cat videos. It's pure hell.

The lone picture of said cartoonist is posted below from his smartphone, and it'll have to do until next week.

We're not sure which to blame: Bryan having Comcast (aka Comcrap - thanks to Joy for teaching us that one), the never ending snow, the -10 degree weather, or all three. We'll blame all three. So excuse us this week for being buried alive, both figuratively and literally. We promise next week we'll be back with something awesome.

Till next time, we did manage to finally combat 10 months of laziness and update our About Us, so if you want to see our totally new, hilariously awesome About Us page, either go up to the top and select About Us from our menu bar, then click Who We Are... or just click the link below like the lazy bastard you are. Which is exactly what we would do if we were you, so no judgment.

About the Idiots in Charge of this Website

Cheers and stay connected, friends,
B&B

Music: No Limits
Beer: A truly ice cold Deschutes Twilight Ale

90 comments:

  1. You might need to thaw him out a bit.
    Good to know I'm not the only one who is lazy and takes forever to do updates on my site. Now that you mention it, I should probably go look at my own about me page.
    Now to click the link because I'm lazy...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You think that's bad? People are commenting on this AND on our new About Us page and we have to keep alternating between both pages. Now today I have to respond to TWO of your comments.

      Ugh, life is hard.

      Delete
  2. Wait, music is "No Limit", is that a Master P reference or am I just so out of popular music that I don't know what No Limit is and have an old Master P song in my head? "I'm a no limit soldier, I thought I told ya..."
    Good luck with the Cumcast (because that's what we all use the internet for when not creating hilarious about pages).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, I should have asked everyone for their best Comcast insult for this post. My Crime-cast/Ass-finity is finally working now.

      I'm one of those hipster goobers that listens to Indie music because I can't stand turning on the radio and hearing soul sucking music like Lil Wayne and Taylor Swift, so a lot of folks haven't heard of them.

      No Limits

      But also, since I've got hip hop cred (I don't), I haven't forgotten about Master P. But I'm more into this song about the down dirtiest muh-fuckah ya ever hurd.

      Delete
  3. I had a lot of computer problems myself last week including an update that broke one computer, and a virus that broke the other. I hope things get sorted out and if you can you get a better ISP. As far as I understand it though the choice of ISPs in America is like choosing between different size piles of crap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An update breaking a computer? What cruel joke is this, Windows?

      Yessir, you beat me to the bunch. Choosing Internet providers is kinda like electing government officials here. They're all fucking terrible, you just kinda have to pick one and pretend like you still have the illusion of choice.

      "Comcast sucks, but at least it was MY decision to use them!"

      Delete
    2. The best thing it was Windows 8.1. It gave me no choice but to update and then I had five blue screens in 24 hours. I had to completely refresh my computer and reinstall everything. Then I had to edit my registry to tell my computer to never offer me the update again. Thanks for making things worse Windows.

      Delete
  4. So sorry! Hope it eases up across the board and land over there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would have been an easy week, but some jerk gave me a full novel to read! Can you believe that? ;)

      Delete
  5. "About Us" will have to tide me over until next Monday . . . I got the shakes, boys, got 'em bad . . . ABFTS withdrawal . . . you get us hooked and then abandon us to the DTs . . . Next week, the price will be higher for another fix, won't it? I know how you pushers operate. Aiiiiieeeee, the spiders!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, next week's gon' be real gud. Now, the price went up JUST a lil bit, but I guarantee it's the best post you've ever tried. And you want a good post, don't you? Totally worth pawning a few old things you aren't even using anyway, right?

      Delete
  6. Sorry for the pain, but you know I feel your pain. My favorite name for the cable company is either Crime-cast or C*ntcast. They've earned it.
    Thanks so much for the shout-out, my post sucks this week but for different sucky reasons. They can't all be gems. Mine I mean, yours are all solid gold Cosby sweaters without the vomit, or rape allegations. Until next week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need not censor yourself here, friend! Sing it loud! Fuck you and your awful, overpriced service, Cuntcast!

      You think your post sucks this week? Mine is a lame excuse. Sure, I could have had a post ready any day of the week last week, but I waited until the weekend, when my Internet was already down.

      Delete
  7. I clicked the link, such a lazy arse as well. I don't think I've updated my about in a year or more. Blame the cat for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figured we should update it, if only because we have brand new cartoons... so I'm sure people were coming here, going to the old About Us, and asking "Wait, who are these ugly little Charlie Brown motherfuckers?"

      Delete
  8. Are you visiting Blue? The last post of his that I read indicated he was also buried. What are you guys doing in there????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're doing whatever it takes to keep warm, and it's not gay if it's for survival purposes.

      Delete
  9. It will be interesting to see how many comments you get merely off of saying you aren't going to have a blog post this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally, I think it's a fun exercise in comment creativity. One day, as a social experiment, we're going to do an entire post on potatoes, and then ask our commenters to tell us everything they know about potatoes. Yes, dance, monkeys, dance. Talk about what WE want to talk about. We are conversationalist dictators. Dictaters? Oh, that's good, I've already got one clever reply in the bank.

      Delete
    2. Potato's you say? I've got that one sewn up.

      Delete
    3. i don't know, Anne, our latvian friend might have a leg up on you on that one.

      rikolas the latvian

      oh rikolas, always a bundle of laughs!

      Delete
  10. Of all the things I miss since I moved to California, and there are tons, winter is not one of them. Screw below zero temperatures.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're going to be in California for Thanksgiving, and my mother-in-law said to the wife and I, "Make sure you bring a sweater in case it's cold!" Oh, we laughed a good, solid 10 minutes over that one.

      Delete
  11. Sorry about the snow (we have some too) and the computer problems. Gonna take the lazy click now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The snow I can deal with, but being trapped inside the house with no Internet service is a new circle of hell that I'm just certain the devil is waiting to jump on.

      Delete
  12. Yeesh...here's hoping for a speedy internet recovery.

    Stay warm, my friends.

    -Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, don't you worry, I have huge slippers, and a knock off snuggie, and all kinds of other embarrassing wardrobe items that I would never let another human being see me in.

      Delete
  13. OH, NO! BUT... BUT... BUT... TRT! 'MURDER, MY SWEET'... it... it... got murdered by... snow?

    Well, I guess I can start drinking now then.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't drink before reading our posts? Then how the hell do you tolerate us and find us funny?

      Delete
  14. Yeah, we got hit with the snow pretty hard here too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can tolerate the snow, but being all snowed in with no Internet is just miserable. The wife and I actually had to talk to each other. Isn't that awful?

      Delete
  15. Why don't snowstorms come with their own Wi-Fi signal? Everything else does

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's like Mother Nature's not even trying to corner the Internet industry. Ridiculous. No wonder global warming is killing her.

      Delete
  16. My kind of idiots... stay warm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd rather be stupid and warm than smart and freezing my ass off. It's all about priorities.

      Delete
  17. I would offer to get a snow shovel and help find you...but I'm a lazy bastard, sorry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is this site full of nothing but lazy bastards?

      Well, good, because at least we're catering to like minded people.

      Delete
  18. Yikes - keep warm, my friends!! Also, thanks for the lazy-link! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, I'll admit it, there's nothing worse than when a blogger says something like, "So check out my new book by searching my name on Amazon! Then scroll down, and pull up the third result and--" snore, you lost me.

      Our links - made for lazy people by lazy people.

      Delete
  19. So that's where all the snow went! We only got a sprinkling here on the other side of the Rockies. But it has been ri-DONK-u-lous-ly cold! I mean, seriously Mother Nature! I know you like to have a laugh every now and then, but you're kind of being a jerk right now.

    Anyhoo, I'm sorry that your internet isn't working. That really sucks. For your eager readers as well as yourselves. But hey, now you can work on that book series idea that I just gave you on your "About Us" page. You don't need the internet to write gold like that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really has been ri-DONK-ulously cold. It usually never dips down below zero, and especially this early in the season. What the hell, Mother Nature? You know it's cold when even my snow dog steps outside to pee, just whizzes on the front porch, and then says "I'm out of here!" and bolts back inside.

      Delete
  20. You're still with Comcast? Man, I would've switched away ages ago if I were you.
    Oh wait, that's how long it takes to get away from those fuckers. Ages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can switch any time I want... I just don't have any damn options. What do I pick instead? CenturyLink and their molasses slow DSL? Dial up? We don't have a lot of choices here in Colorado, and we certainly don't have anything cool like Google Fiber. Like South Park once said, it's pretty much either "giant douche" or "turd sandwich." Take your pick.

      Delete
  21. Love the about us section, you guys have known each other for a long time! Looking forward to your post next week :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks! not only will next weeks post be of the utmost quality, it also won't be painstakingly typed out with a cellphone, as this comment was. i can't say this enough - i hate you, comcast.

      Delete
  22. Bugger all those cable companies. They give you a cheap six month introductory and then every month after that, they rack up the price.

    Stay warm and stay safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and even if their service is down for days, you get nothing. just... no service.

      my internet was working fine this morning, and i got in some comments/blog reading. perhaps com-crap was just teasing me, because its down again and i'm back to commenting on my phone. thanks for nothing, assholes!

      Delete
  23. Phew just got back from that trip down About Us Lane. It was too funny! Well not "too" funny, there's no limit to your funniness, I'm just saying that . . . okay, I'll change the subject: Bryan and Brandon, where's the celebrity joint name? I suggest BrBr for right now since you guys are freezing . . . err . . . anyway o_O

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, Brybra? Brabry? Braydon? Branyan? I just don't feel like we were meant for celebrity joint names... which is okay by me.

      Delete
  24. It's funny how no one seems to remember that we have only had the internet for fifteen years or so...so being snowed in without it should not be all that traumatic for anyone older than twenty...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd think so, wouldn't you? But I can't go back to Ball in a Cup, L.C. I just can't. I've tasted sweet, sweet Internet gold, and once you go "hilarious cat video," there's just no going back.

      Delete
    2. I had not thought about the cat video withdrawal factor...that's a different matter entirely!

      Plus without the cat video, you really have no excuse for not shoveling snow...

      Delete
  25. B&B:
    I saw the time you posted...5AM???
    When do you sleep?
    (maybe I don't wanna know)

    Yeah, all that early season SNOW...damn global warming.

    (and BTW, for the purists tree-huggers, YES, the climate DOES change, and here in Indiana, it changes every FIVE freakin' minutes...lol)

    Take care and stay safe out there, guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indiana sounds like Colorado - the place you can use your heater, air conditioner, and then heater again all in the same day.

      And 5 AM? Forget that! We set up auto posting. Waking up before 6 should be a federal crime.

      Delete
  26. Oh no. I hate it when the internet goes down.
    I hope it gets up and running soon because he does an amazing job over here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I think most of the hiccups are gone, but the real problem is this particular lazy cartoonist* getting his posting done earlier, rather than last minute.

      *Me. That would be me.

      Delete
  27. Ahhh, snow. Living without internet. I feel like that happens every time I check my yahoo mail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On second thought, maybe I don't even have an Internet problem. Maybe I just think I do because I'm still one of the few people using Yahoo mail. It's nice still being trapped in 1998, isn't it?

      Delete
  28. Fart porn? Is that a Japanese thing that works with their new computer thing that delivers smells? Because if you can't smell it, what's the point?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it's a Brazilian thing, and apparently it's real. I haven't verified, but South Park made fun of it. And frankly, I'm okay without verifying. If I had to guess... the noise...?

      Delete
  29. Lazy describes me perfectly today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll drink to that! ...As long as someone brings me the beer.

      Delete
  30. Noooo!! No snow already!! BOOOOO!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Summer passed by in the blink of an eye. I want a refund.

      Delete
  31. Geez! 60 comments on a "sorry, no post" post! Youse guys are the real rock stars!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We still expect over 100 by week's end. If I knew the Internet was this easy to please, we'd have just done 2 panel stick figure cartoons. NOW we know.

      Delete
  32. Okay, I thought you do all these pictures yourself. And here I thought you guys were talented ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We used to do the pictures all ourselves, and then we outsourced them... to ourselves. Since I'm cheaper. My current price? Zero. Really, it's hard to beat. Also, how the hell do people make money on the Internet again???

      Delete
  33. Enjoy the snow! None of that here today. That was the most impressive about page I've ever seen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The snow I don't mind so much. The ice and the bitter cold, however? Not a fan. Thanks!

      Delete
  34. We had the promise of snow today. All we got was cold rain. I was relieved. I hate snow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think snow's fine as long as it's the "Christmas" kind - huge, beautiful snow flakes that don't accumulate anything. Once it starts piling up into 3 feet of icy slush that comes with zero degree weather and freezing bursts of wind, well, then it's not nearly so magical and all I want to do is barricade myself inside my house, zombie apocalypse style, and never come out.

      Delete
  35. I hope you're both defrosted by now, and your Internet service is running smoothly. We have the same volatile service that's been in and out for the last few months. I'm heading over to read your exciting new About Us page, in case there's a test next week.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Internet is officially back up and running, and it's even mildly sunny. But just as it might dump snow again tomorrow, my service might take a dump as well, so lesson learned... finish the post early while the gettin (and the Internet) is good.

      Delete
  36. Suddenlink is our cable carrier and they suck a bit more than Comcast. They took away our comedy channel (NO TOSH?!) and gleefully replaced it with crap. Every time they have a commercial telling us how luck we are for the new line up, I want to call Dish and get the satellite. But I am too lazy.

    Now, I must go back up to that easy link.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is there anything worse than having to just settle for getting bent over because you'll get bent over no matter where you go? And we wonder why people pirate TV shows on the Internet nowadays.

      Delete
  37. Oh carp! I've basically been AWOL for awhile and just when I get back, you're not really here. Bummer! Still, I'm comment 76 on a non-post. Man, you guys got a following. Wish we would get some of that white stuff here. It's colder than a witch's titty, but no snow. YUCK!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're still here, we just missed our deadline because I couldn't get anything uploaded to Blogger from my computer/I spent way too much time trying to diagnose my Internet and deal with Comcast to actually finish last week's post. But this post is gold, and next week should be fun. Plus, it's nice to see our friends all still support us even when all we can say is, "Hey, sheet happens, we got nuttin this week."

      Delete
  38. I've participated in a Brazilian fart porn scene in the late 2014s. It was part of a social experiment, or so i was told. It's not as gross as you'd think. No, It's far more vile and grotesque than anything you could imagine--except for maybe Nancy Grace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This sounds like the setup for a great comedy bit.

      "How many fart porn scenes have you taken part in?"
      "A Brazilian."

      Delete
  39. So I suppose now I need to stop bitching about it being "cold" here, when it's above freezing? Holy shit. Where is icy hot when you need it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Far away from here, where it belongs! That stuff doesn't feel like cool and warm relief all at once... it just feels like burning! Worst. Remedy. Ever.

      Delete
  40. Stay warm boys- stay warm. I hate being cold and the winter in general. It just got cold here this week. And man, did the temp drop fast! One second I was outside enjoying the sunshine on the beach and like ten minutes later the wind picked up and I was freezing my butt off. Time to pull out all the winter coats, hats, gloves, etc. ugh.

    For the record, we no longer have Comcast. In a nutshell, their service sucks. Direct TV is how we roll now. Besides, we couldn't get any repair men from Comcast to come back. They were all too afraid of The Husband after dealing with him once, to ever set foot in my house again. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only have Comcast for Internet. I don't subscribe to a TV service (viva la streaming!). Sadly, there really is no "good" option for Internet here. They're all overpriced, but Comcast is at least fast(ish). Ultimately it's like the drunk uncle that lives with you and you just try to justify him staying there because when he's sober he's kinda nice, and really, if you kicked him out some other drunk uncle would move in in his place, so what are you gonna do, right?

      Delete
  41. I would say I'm sorry about the snow but (A) none of it happened to me and (B) the local news did not feature a person with vague ties to a geographical location somewhat close to me, so it's like it didn't even take place. Unless someone in your town does something hilarious/vaguely-sex-crime-y to get onto "Mail Online" I'm not sure I can even be cognizant of your existence.

    Still, the new "About" page is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On top of that, Buffalo NY had the absolute audacity to get buried in snow and make us look like whiny babies by comparison. Way to fuck it up for us all, New York!

      Delete
  42. I've got a spare shovel. And some BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! I mean... beer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But a shovel ain't gonna help me get this body heat up, if you get what I'm sayin'.

      So in other words, if we're gonna get this party started, I hope you brought those sexy elves I keep hearing about.

      Delete
  43. Snow? What snow? What is this snow you speak of? Hey! You guys didn't make it down to the marketing panel. I know it's a long trip, though, and rarely make it up your way, either. Stupid distances!

    ReplyDelete