Monday, November 24, 2014

Apple vs Android, the Ultimate Showdown Super Battle

Once upon a time, phones were just phones. They had cords and attached to the wall, and if you walked too far away from it you ended up turning yourself into a human slingshot. It was just a method of communication, and what kind you had didn't matter because they all did the same thing - they allowed you to prank call your friends anonymously so you could ask them if their refrigerator was running. ("It is? Then why aren't you trying to catch it?" /hang up)

The idea of making fun of someone because they had a certain brand of telephone would have seemed ridiculous.






Now we live in an age of cellphones, which are much more than telephones. They're mini computers in their own right. They e-mail. They surf the web. They take pictures and video. And they each carry very distinctive brand names. Brand names that matter.

See, nowadays you don't just own a smartphone. You own an Apple. Or you own a Samsung. (Or, frankly, you don't matter.) And if you own an Apple, it's important that you make fun of Samsung users for all being peon poser nerds, just as if you own a Samsung it's critical that you make fun of Apple users for all being hipster sheeple buying into a fad. There is no middle ground. You are either an Apple, or you're a Samsung (Android).

But as with everything in life, including The Super Bowl, marriage, and your children, there can only be one winner for the title of "overall best." And since Brandon has an Apple iPhone and Bryan has a Samsung Galaxy, we figured it was only fair that we squabble like little children over which one was better.

And so, as the only logical solution available, we pitted our phones against each another like animals and had them fight to the bitter death.











The battle was indescribably hard to watch. We'll spare you the details, but we will show you the aftermath.

Warning: anyone with a sensitive stomach is urged to leave the room. The following picture is extremely graphic.

If you wish to see the aftermath, please scroll down, but just know you've been warned.

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...Wait, what do you mean you can't tell what's going on? Don't you see it? Okay, maybe it'll help if we illustrate.


Yes, that's right. In the end, once we unleashed them, the actual products didn't even hate each other. In fact, it seems they're quite fond of one another.

So perhaps there's a lesson to be learned here. Perhaps it's that we should just use whatever phone we want to use and quit bitching about the phone that someone else is using simply because it's a different brand. Or... maybe it's that instead of fighting with each other we should unite to combat the real enemy... the Windows Phone.

No, we're just kidding. Nobody uses Windows Phone.

Which side are you on? Apple or Android?

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
B&B

Beer: Ballast Point Calico Amber Ale
Music: Two Door Cinema Club
 
Also, Brandon's latest solo novel "Lovely Death" is available all week for free e-book download. If you haven't done it yet, get your copy here------> Lovely Death Download at Amazon
Here's an awesome review of the book by Andrew Leon over at StrangePegs. Thanks Andrew!







107 comments:

  1. I don't know anyone who has a Windows phone.
    I wonder what the coupling of phones will produce?
    Doesn't matter the brand. You have to go with the invested platform. I started with an iPod, then an iTouch, then and iPad... I think you can guess where this is going...
    Hmm, now I wonder if I can get all of my Apple products to produce more...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You probably can, if only because now we have a crapload of Apple/Samsung babies (Samples) that no one will touch because they're "impure" half breeds.

      Delete
  2. You actually know people who actually give a half-a-shit about Apple v. Android (I think the subtitle is "Dawn of Human Enema Waste)? You may need to hang out with different people. Then again, me and all the people I know use pay-as-you-go flip phones. Hey, don't judge us, man, we're not all drug dealers...I swear.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm still excited that my current phone has a full keyboard (which clicks out from the back of the phone). With my prior one (which I had not long ago), I had to hit the 7 button 5 times if I wanted to text the letter s.

      I figure I'll have a smart phone by 2018.

      Delete
    2. Hanging... out? What is that? Is that a social thing? As a hermit writer, I don't think I've ever heard of that.

      I see it on Facebook, I see it on Reddit, I see it on blog and news comments... it's everywhere. Talk about Apple or Samsung on the Internet, and one side will invariably show up to bash the other. Meanwhile, I'm just like, hey guys, can't we set aside our phone differences and get back to the real issue - calling each other racists names and pointing out who fucked whose mother under an Anonymous account, as God himself intended the Internet comment section to be used in the first place?

      Delete
  3. You guys still use phones?! The people that know what's up are using telepathy these days. That or smoke signals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried to buy a pony express messenger but apparently my contract isn't up yet so I would have had to pay full price for that pony. No thanks!

      Delete
  4. I was a die hard iPhone user for years (it matters not that I held onto my iPhone 4 for years). I swore I'd never get anything but Apple. Then, my son became the outsider of the family and got an Android. He bragged and bragged about how much better it was but I refused to listen. Until Apple got all douchey and forced an update on me that screwed up my old phone. It was an easy switch to Android and I'll never change….til the next shiny object comes along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My wife was the same as you, and was very happy with Apple until they released iOS 8 and it just turned her phone into a slow drunken mess that froze and restarted without warning. Now she has a Samsung Galaxy Note 4, just as I do. She has also come over to the dark side.

      As for me? I just got mine because it had the better camera. How else are people going to cringe at my selfies if they can't see my huge pores and patchy stubble in stunning 1080p?

      Delete
  5. I'm actually on the phone that you didn't mention at all; Blackberry. I got it about 2 or 3 years ago now and I only got it because my friend had one and we were going to use Blackberry Messenger. Now all the buttons on the side have come off and I have to use my necklace to press the volume control buttons. I kind of want a new phone for Christmas but I'm yet to decide. I kind of want an iPhone because, again, a friend has one, but I don't really use the "smart" capabilities of a smartphone. I use a few messenger apps and keep track of my emails on my phone but that's it. Frankly I'd be happy with either.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh yes, the Blackberry. Do they even still make new Blackberry phones? I'm not asking that to be a dick; I just got my phone 2 weeks ago and when I was in the store they didn't have a single Blackberry. Just Windows, Apple, and Android.

      I had a Blackberry in 2005 when I was working IT. It was a big blue brick, but it worked really well. I had some great memories with that phone, and by great memories I mean playing pre-installed 'Brick Breaker' until the keyboard started falling off.

      (I guess they all do that, don't they?)

      Delete
    2. Ahh Brick Breaker. I've got some good memories of that. Kind of hard to play with a track pad though. To be honest I'm not actually sure they make new Blackberry phones. A while back I tried to replace the phone cover I have for my Blackberry and I couldn't find one anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if the reason they weren't making covers anymore is because they aren't making phones anymore. They're great little devices though even if they don't have a completely stacked app store.

      Delete
  6. I'm not supposed to tell you this yet, but the iPhone 7 is going retro. It's going to be a rotary phone with a wall cord.

    Out-hip your friends by going to steal your grandmother's old school model now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but will it still work with the plug-in typewriter accessory? Because when I'm at Starbucks writing my 2,000 page neosurrealist space opera and listening to The Decemberists, I need everyone to see how retro I am as a writer, not just as a phone-call-taker.

      Delete
    2. Neosurrealist space opera? You don't happen to use the screen name "Todd", do you?

      Delete
    3. Ugh, "Todd" is the name forced upon me by my birthgiver. It's so lame. My pen name is Atticus Salinger Van-Pabst, and I'd appreciate it if you'd address me as such.

      Delete
  7. I was dragged, kicking and bitching, into the world of smart phones with an Android. Undoubtedly because it costs less and I had been a notorious serial phone killer before my phones could get the internet. Now I love it more than my family. No offense to them, the internet is infinitely more exciting than mere humans. I read a hilarious comparison once of PC's to Macs ending in the deep philosophical conclusion:
    "Know what PC users can do that Macs users can't?
    Shut the fuck up about their computers."
    I'm not passionately anti-Apple but I enjoy laughing at ANYONE who pays more than they have to for things, and has to constantly update to have the latest and greatest. I appreciate them working out the electronic bugs for the rest of us cheapos, though.
    Thanks for the mornin' porn. Nothing gets the day going like the visual of phones doin' it, raw dog. I don't know if they'll reproduce a little mp3 player or something, but your combined hand & mouth germs are going to blend into an awesome electronic rash that no salve exists for. Yet.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm not anti-Apple either (this is Bryan with the Samsung). My wife has always had Apple stuff, but she goes out of her way to get it on discount. No matter what side of the fence you're on, I could never understand paying $800 for a phone or $2,000 for a laptop that's just as good as its half-priced competition.

      Also, the result of that morning porn (or mornporn) was a Blackberry. I think we might have to have Maury do a paternity test.

      Delete
  8. I use an Android. Apple is for geek losers like Brandon. Oh wait, did I just become part of the problem?

    To me it all boils down to consumerism. BUY, BUY, BUY! Use up all the resources on this planet to have useless items that will be obsolete in a month. It matters not who you buy from or which brand you choose. You must continue to buy our product every few months or else you won't get any service.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In Brandon's defense, he just got that old iPhone because it's simple, it was cheap, and he doesn't really use his phone for anything but calling, texting, a little e-mail, and GPS. That I can completely understand.

      My brother-in-law, meanwhile, is an Apple nut who HAS to have the newest greatest iPhone, no matter what it costs. He doesn't even care what it does. They've brainwashed him so well he just automatically thinks its the best, even if he has no idea how it stacks up compared to the rest. Congratulations on your $800 selfie machine!

      Delete
    2. Fortunately, I am immune to brainwashing. Too bad the rest of America is quite prone to it.

      Delete
  9. I could care less what phone a person has, both are crap, both are good, all depends on who is using them as you can't please everyone. But anyone who tries to force the other down someone's throat needs to get a poke-ball upside the head. Has Ash and Brock caught em all?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ash and Brock caught em all, minus the Nokia. They tried to snare one of those and only ended up shattering the poke-ball like an egg.

      Delete
  10. Oh, so that's what people mean when they refer to "PHONE SEX". I always wondered what that was.

    >>... (Or, frankly, you don't matter.)

    My name's not Frank, but I still don't matter. I have a phone that does one thing and one thing ONLY: it makes phone calls. It's a Cricket that was created in the Stone Age (circa 2000) but it still makes phone calls better'n my Brother's fancy-pants phone.

    And, Frank, I don't think I want a phone that's smarter'n me anyway. What if it decided to get rid of ME for a newer model? "That shit could really happen!"

    >>... Beer: Ballast Point Calico Amber Ale

    Hmmm... I don't think I ever heard of that beer before. But I'm gonna holdout and wait for their next mo' better improved recipe. (Still, how wuz it?)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ballast Point Ale - not top ten, but still a pretty good beer. I have yet to have a Ballast Point beer that I don't like.

      Surely, you know that your phone is the best. You want to know the big kicker? Half of these smartphones, ours included, can't even make decent phone calls. A phone that can't even be a phone. Oh well, at least I can take a "selfie" of myself looking sad that I can't call out of my own house.

      And don't call me Shirley.

      Delete
  11. Yes they still make Blackberry, I have the latest model. They can't be hacked as easily as the other models, which is one reason businesses preferred them. They have all the bells and whistles of other smartphones, and my model does its job well. Takes excellent photos, does make phone calls, has apps half of which I never use, and maps. I never follow trends, but we looked at the others and didn't like the iPhone or the androids. It works with iphones as both daughters have them, so there. It suits my purposes which is not to be too closely connected to the Grid.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Remember just a few years ago when the trend was cellphones being as small as possible? And now the current trend is them being as big as possible? Further proof that people just don't even know what they want. I don't follow trends either.

      My phone is big, yes, but I got it because I can use it as a Kindle, link it to my Amazon account, and read books without need of buying a tablet or squinting my eyes. And dammit, that's good enough for me.

      Delete
    2. That old Motorola in my closet will be making a comeback yet!

      Delete
    3. That old Motorola will probably still be around loooong after either of our phones have bitten the dust. Cool? Yes. Made to last? Not in the slightest.

      Delete
  12. I don't own a mobile phone. Mainly that's down to the fact that I'm reclusive and don't like talk to people. The whole idea of someone being able to ring me up anywhere, anytime makes me break out in hives. People actually expect one to return calls and that's something I just won't do. I don't respond to emails either. People say to me "How do we reach you then?" And I say "You don't"

    I notice a hint of Manga in your illustrations today. Nice play on the subject matter and well drawn. Ya, I've read Manga. Wanna make something of it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'll make something of it. I've read it too. Good catch. Hmm, that was more amicable than I expected.

      The only reason I have a cellphone is in case of emergencies (I drive an Audi... breakdowns are not just inevitable but guaranteed), and because I need GPS mapping, and because I can read books on it via Kindle. When people ask for my number, I tell them right off the bat that I'm not tethered to my phone and if I don't respond for a day, it's not because I'm a dick, it's just because my phone isn't my life and I don't carry it around with me at all times like it's a newborn baby.

      Delete
  13. I hate 'smart phones', mainly because they're smarter than me, at least mine is. I had a very nice iPhone 4 (thank you very much) until I lost my mind one day and ran it through the washing machine. Now I have an iPhone 5 and it doesn't like me one little bit. It has a habit of muting my calls while I'm speaking and other such nonsense. I wonder if it's trying to tell me something.

    Anyway, the ideas of phones having sex, is scary. Just the possible outcome. Little inbred or hybrid phones running all over the place, taking over the world. It gives me the shivers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My smartphone isn't very smart at all. For starters, it didn't even use protection. Now I have an inbred phone-monster baby that can't go to either side of the phone-family gatherings.

      Delete
  14. My cousin used to work for Apple and it drove him crazy that every Droid owner that knew where he worked would continually argue with him about the Iphone. Seriously, he just worked there, he didn't create the darn phone!

    Here's my view...I think the Iphone appeals to certain people and the Samsung appeals to other people. And the people should have the phone that appeals to them. As an Iphone owner, it is not because I think it's better, it just makes more sense to my particular brain. I know, profound.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That is absolutely irrational, but as a mindless Apple user that can't think for herself, it's to be expected that you wouldn't be on the same intellectual level as us Droid users. ;)

      Delete
  15. I have a smart phone through work; my personal phone, although Samsung, is not smart at all. It calls and texts and that's about it. Call me old fashioned, but I kinda like it that way. I guess it helps that my work phone has the internet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just like having GPS because I suck at directions. Also, sometimes I read ebooks on it. Or take pictures. Other than that, it's just a really nice texting machine. I don't even have Facebook on it. I'm the worst smartphone user ever.

      Delete
  16. I'm on the team of whatever phone allows me to play Clash of Clans. That game's addicting.

    The thing that sucks about having a Samsung, though, is all my friends have iPhones, so when they send out mass texts, my phone opens a separate conversation for each responding recipient. I don't know if that's a personal problem or what.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and what about emojis? Apple emojis won't work on Samsung phones, just like Samsung emojis won't show on Apple phones. Now how the hell am I supposed to appropriately convey a high five or an anthropomorphic, smiling cartoon poop to all of my iPhone using friends?

      Delete
  17. About six months ago, our 2-year contract lapsed. That raised the all-important question of what to do about cell phones. My mom had a phone very much like StMc's except that it worked like crap. She ran her phone that actually worked well through the washer, and then it didn't work at all. I had a phone that also worked well, but wasn't smart, though it flipped open exposing a nice keypad for texting, which I rarely did. But, it did NOT have autocorrect, so there was that.

    My brother has a Samsung and his wife an IPhone. He suggested we get IPhones, since he didn't think mom or I would be smart enough to handle the Samsung. He was probably right. We struggle with the IPhone. So, that it what we did. We now have terrible reception at the house and the phones constantly drop calls (even though we didn't change providers--still Verizon). Occasionally my phone autocorrects my texts, making me howl in outrage.

    The upside: I can email from my phone. I don't want to compose a letter on there, but a short response... woohoo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I gave up e-mailing on my phone after I figured out that it's faster and easier just to come home and jump on a computer than it is to painstakingly peck out an entire e-mail with my thumbs.

      Also, isn't that the greatest thing about smartphones? Congratulations to both Apple AND Samsung - you made a phone that can surf the web, talk to us, and take our pulses, but you still can't make a phone that takes a damn call in our own houses. Bravo.

      Delete
  18. As a tech person, this post hurts. Apple is a company, Android is an operating system. You own an iPhone, not an Apple. Samsung is not Android, nor does it own it. Windows Phone OS isn't actually that bad. (I genuinely think it has a neat UI design.)
    But I guess that's what you were shooting for? And if not, you can always claim you did. I'll never be the wiser.
    Anyway, yeah, people need to stop wanking over brands/differences. Not just when it comes to phones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been in IT for 12 years and have a degree in it; I'd better know this shit!

      Yes, that was the whole point of the joke. That's just how people always (incorrectly) phrase it, and frankly, it makes the whole 'battle' even funnier. People don't even know what they're getting pissed over - the company, the phone, or the OS.

      Also, Windows Phone is a funny punchline because it's simply seen as "uncool." So no matter how innovative it gets, people seem to not care about it. I like Android over the current Windows Phone, but I'm pretty excited for the Windows 10 Phone. It's got some good functionality and may be my next phone... whenever the hell that comes up (I'm not a phone-trader-inner. I'm a use-it-till-it-dies...er).*

      *Tech slang

      Delete
  19. B&B:
    ROFL...another fantastic (and funny) tale of technology run rampant (with smooches to boot).
    Windows has the balls to make a PHONE when their O/S has more BUGS than a damn BAIT SHOP (any version)?
    Amazing!

    WIfey's got some "smart-ass" phone, and she plays games on it until she has to recharge the damn thing...Galaxy I think...
    I've "just" got an LG "Revere" flip phone...works as it should.
    It CALLS people and GETS calls.
    It takes pictures (haven't tried it yet), that's what I have a digital CAMERA for.
    It does Internet connections (that's whet I have COMPUTERS FOR).
    It even tells me the WEATHER (that's what I have RADIO and TV for).
    A phone should be that...A PHONE.
    I do remember when we got out first LONG extension cord for the old kitchen phone...could talk to my girlfriend clear in ANOTHER room (talk about privacy, oh yeah)...lol.

    Another great post, guys.

    Stay safe out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We always took our cord phone out the back door...

      Delete
    2. Our cord barely wrapped around the wall from the living room, and so I'd have to awkwardly stand in the hallway and lean against the wall if I wanted a private conversation. Which still involved talking in a pretty low voice since the living room, where everyone hung out, was still only 5 feet away. Ah, how far privacy has come!

      Delete
  20. Believe me no one wants to end up in Kentucky. Its depressing here. I have an iphone. I got it because I had an itouch and its basically the same thing. So I knew how to use it. I have a Samsung tablet, and have no clue how to really use it. I wish I had an ipad just so they could synch up and I would know how to work it. I'm just not smart enough for a smart phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're selling yourself short. A smartphone is supposed to be "smart" because it's intuitive enough to know what you want to do with it. If you can't figure it out that's not your fault. That's the phone's fault. Or at least that's how I justify it. I'm good with excuses like that.

      Delete
  21. As usual, your graphics are the best, especially the phone sex one.
    I take Branson's side. I own a flip-phone and have troubles sending text messages. I don't know about Apple or Android or any of the other cool stuff everyone who's anyone is raving about. I had a 10 pound Motorola stashed away in my car years ago, when everyone else was using all sorts of fancy gadgets. I never used that phone. Shame, it would've made for a handy paperweight.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I once had a car that had a car phone in it. You know, a huge phone on a cradle that connected into the arm rest. God, what a terrible idea/design.

      Hipsters like to use those gigantic brick phones because they're ironic, so who knows? Maybe if you dig that baby out you could be the envy of hipsters.

      Delete
  22. Hey!
    I saw my name!
    Does that mean I'm famous?

    I'm skipping cell phones. I'm waiting for implants.
    Or a driverless car.
    Whichever comes first.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're famous on the Internet, which puts you right up there with Dramatic Gopher, Chocolate Rain, and Leave Britney Alone!

      Enjoy your 15 minutes, my friend, and as always, thank you for flying ABftS.

      Delete
  23. Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Well, let him out. What TV show are you watching? You are? Congratulations, you just won a bucket of horse shit. God, I miss prank calls--making them, not receiving them. Willy Dunne Wooters has a blackberry. He gets used to something, and he doesn't like to change. I have Android. I have it because the guy at the AT&T store told me to get it. It's okay.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss prank calls too. Let's not forget asking for our good friends Hugh Jazz or Amanda Huggenkiss. Now we have caller ID, which takes all the fun (and by fun I mean anonymity) out of prank calls. Oh, those were the days.

      Delete
  24. As the commercial guy says, "I'm happy with my simple phone." I'll leave that fighting over whose baest to you young whippersnappers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that's easy, then. Mine is the best because it's the one I chose. My co-author's is not the best because he chose differently than I did. Isn't everything easier when we just use deductive logic?

      Delete
  25. I remember the N-Gage, the "smart"phone that was designed to take on the Nintendo GBA. Didn't work out so well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My phone may be awesome but it'll never be "play Super Smash Bros. and take a call at the same time" awesome. :(

      Delete
  26. Not sure I really prefer one over the other, but I tend to keep phones until they fall apart-I don't really need to have the latest in my pocket. I do wish they'd stop getting bigger-how the heck does a guy carry one in his pocket anymore?

    I ended up with an Andriod because Sprint was not yet offering the iPhone-I might have made a different call depending on the pricing.

    I really do not need to be able to access the Internet 24/7, nor do I care if my phone has video games (screen is too small anyway),

    I do not need to text the person sitting next to me-I actually know how to speak.

    The thought of a selfie with me in it scares me and if my facebook status does not get updated for a few months....oh well.

    I kind of miss those days when the phone was on the kitchen wall and you had to be handy with the rotary dial to win radio station contests.

    For those of you too young to remember, radio stations used to be where we heard music before we streamed it on our phones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Streaming stuff to our phones? Using the Internet? Playing video games? Psssh, who can afford that? Data is no longer unlimited, as it once was. Now you have a very tiny cap, meaning that I just don't stream anything. That's what a computer is for, and last time I checked, my computer doesn't tell me to watch my usage because I'm nearing my limit.

      Delete
  27. I have a Samsung. Yay! At least I matter!

    *whew* I was sweating that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, sir, but there's already a Bryan with a Samsung in the Cool Club. You'll have to wait outside until he's gone. It might be a while.

      Delete
  28. I am very much a live and let live kind of person. Apple? Android? So long as it functions, it's all good for me. I had an Android for 2 years before it broke beyond repair. I replaced it with an iPhone. I am just has happy with my iPhone as I was with my Android. I see no problem here. I guess you can call be Switzerland.

    So, are they REALLY still selling those old Windows phones? That's hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The new Windows phone is so cool, though! It has Windows 8, and an upgraded camera, and, and... I'm just kidding. It's not cool at all. I can't even say that with a straight face.

      And if you're gonna call yourself Switzerland, then you better be armed to the teeth for when iOS and Android fanboys come demanding you pick a side.

      Delete
    2. Oh, I'm not worried. Those fanboys have never actually talked to a woman before, so I doubt the could approach me.

      Delete
    3. Damn, you've got it made. Meanwhile, they're not afraid of me at all. You know, last time I went to the Apple store to help the wife get her Mac's battery replaced, they gave me a spiel about how it wasn't covered by warranty and blah blah blah, tough luck, chump. Refurbished ones are $110. The wife went back there later on her own and the little Apple nerd was stumbling over his words, and said it probably shouldn't be replaced, but then without second thought just replaced it for free. With a brand new one.

      Sometimes I wish I had boobs. Oh, what a world that would be.

      Delete
  29. Replies
    1. Blackberries of all type are welcome here. We'd play Brick Breaker with you any day.

      Delete
  30. I hate to confess it, we have a very, very simple cell phone. Hubby is not into technology so all our phone does is make phone calls (well I can text too, but he wouldn't know how) so I cannot comment either way on your battle of the phones.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. In this case, ignorance is most certainly bliss, and I can promise you that none of these smartphones are really all that different from each other. Users with elitist attitudes just like to think they are.

      Delete
  31. Haha - Your comics are hilarious and this post is timely as the holidays approach and everyone is talking phones..I have an I-Phone as I need it for traveling everything in one little
    device. In fact I think my contract is coming up..oh dear what shall I do..too funny guys.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. YOU WILL BUY A SAMSUNG OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF BEING AN ETERNAL FAILURE.

      ...Or you could get another iPhone. That's okay, too, I guess.

      (Kidding aside, they both do pretty well at all-in-one travel needs. It just depends on what you like)

      Delete
  32. I have an apple phone, which you've heard me bitch about many times before. It's on my grandma's family plan (because I am poor) and I told her that I haven't been getting several texts and she said, "So...?" Apparently getting my work scheduled texted to me isn't important.

    My boyfriend had a windows phone. We're both fucked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have an iPhone and your boyfriend has a Windows phone? God bless you, you're like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.

      Delete
  33. Love you guys! I am a Galaxy Gal and Ray is an Apple Man. We get along like the photo of your phones schlurping each other!! But, since women are conniving creatures, I have brought him into the Windows world in PC's. Next phone upgrade for him? My guess is Galaxy. Shhhh...don't tell him yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, they say opposites attract, and I don't think phones are an exception. I'm a Galaxy Guy, and the wife is an Apple Gal. The software doesn't always match, but the hardware sure stays in sync.

      I'm not even 100% sure what that means. But it's hot.

      Delete
  34. Loved the classic opening with the ancient phones! When my hubby got a new iPhone last year, my barbaric phone was updated to an older model of the iPhone. We 'll have to program some romantic ringtones to see if our phones are kissing cousins!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just make sure they aren't literal cousins. That kind of thing is illegal (and frowned upon) around here.

      Delete
  35. Yeah. The picture of those phones making out was just disturbing. But thanks for the warning!

    I'll stick with my T-Mobile flip phone, thanks. ;0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know why I like flip phones better? Because you can still slam them shut in anger. A touchscreen bar phone? Not so much. More like an angry poke of the END CALL button, which, since you're angry, almost always means you'll miss and look like a dumbass.

      Delete
  36. I still have my 2006 Samsung flip phone, but once that dies, (probably from my "dropping it" in the toilet, I'll probably get an iPhone, for the sole reason that I already have an iPad, so they should be able to play together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What, you're against multi-brand pairings? That's racist.

      I don't know how phones work.

      Delete
  37. You have to ask? ;) Android. Mind you, the latest operating system update SUCKS ass. But would I go to Apple? Never. No. Way.

    My little brother and I have this battle all the time, like a modern, geeky version of "you mama." So his picture on my contacts list is an android robot peeing on an Apple icon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what, though? The latest OS update for Apple sucks even more. My wife's phone constantly was freezing, crashing, stopping, etc. iOS 8 practically killed her old phone.

      Delete
  38. Great job, next you should try and convince the Capulets and Montagues to get along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would try but that seems like a real suicide mission.

      Delete
  39. Well, I have a Blackberry, and the only reason I know they make new ones is because Alicia Keys decided to run it and see it gained popularity (lol) but I'm on the Android's side. There's simply a better variety, you can buy a phone tailored for your needs. It doesn't HAVE to be Samsung, that's just one of the many really good options.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it doesn't HAVE to be Samsung... but if it's anything else, YOU'RE WRONG. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. AND YOU WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF CELLPHONE HELL.

      Or at least that's how I understand it, as told by Samsung fanboys.

      Delete
  40. I dedicated something to you boys on the HERE'S TO YOU TUESDAY POST. Hope you like it:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just saw it and posted a comment. Thanks for the heads up!

      Delete
  41. Windows phone is the BEST. I love him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was there for me through a very hard time back in 2009, and I took him for granted. But knowing he'll always be there? Man, that's what this is all about.

      Delete
  42. Your art fuckin sucks so go die you fucks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yawn. Your insults are really boring. Don't quit your day job, skippy. Leave the insult comedy to the real professionals.

      Delete
  43. Awesome post! Husband has a Samsung Galaxy. I have an iPhone 5S. LOVE my iPhone. It is MUCH more user-friendly than Android.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And yet you guys still make it work? This is what true love is all about.

      Delete
  44. My phone is a 39 Euro Alcatel that was purchased in 2009. I can't even download apps on it and the screen remains static should I touch it.

    But, hey, it still works! And I only have to charge it once a week.

    -Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Considering I pretty much only use my phone for calling/text I SHOULD have one of those. I miss the joys of only charging a phone once a week, rather than once a day. Where that battery goes, I have no idea.

      Delete
  45. I know this may come as a shock to some but I've never had a cell phone, smart phone or any other phone other than my cordless home phone. lol Works for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But what if your car breaks down? More than anything, my cellphone is just in case of emergency. It's just kind of a plus that I can do some cool (albeit not very productive) things with it.

      Delete
  46. I love human slingshots. Also, I'm having fun in the stone age. And THAT'S one perverted litle picture you fellas took there. Interracial sexiness! If I were on FB, my thumb would go.... UP. You know, like Fonzie's. Who?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eyyyy, sit on it, Bluesy. We don't gots time for your FBs and your thumbs. We've got a shark to jump on water skis.

      Delete
  47. I don't make fun of android users, but I do think "aw, how cute!" when they try to convince me that their phone is as good as an iphone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, it's not just as good, it's better.

      -any Android user ever

      Delete
  48. Hilarious. I have an S4 and plan on upgrading to the Note in May. I hate everything about the iOS platform. I'm a big fan of the Google products (hello, blogger) so android just works better for me.

    Side note: this was extra funny because my boyfriend has a windows phone and I'm always making fun of him for how shitty it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As the Android guy, I just have to tell you... the Note is fucking awesome. Best phone I've ever had. And you know, I tried the brand new Windows phone, just for kicks, to at least give it a chance... that lasted all of 30 seconds.

      Delete