First off, suggesting a good location is key. Let's face it, you're tying the knot. And that knot is tied into the rope with which the man is executing his own bachelorhood. So make sure the groom gets sent off with a bang. Chapels and courthouses simply won't do (unless you happen to be in the middle of serving a life sentence). No, you need to make a statement.
We've done the research. It's just not scientifically possible to be sad in a bouncy castle, especially one filled with colorful plastic balls. And forget walking; what bride wouldn't relish the idea of gleefully bouncing and somersaulting down the aisle?
After some invaluable input has been put in toward a killer location, now comes the choice of catering. Forget boring things like chicken and fish. It's good to be unique. It's good to spice things up - literally.
Variety is the spice of life. So is Taco Bell. And while your intestines won't be thanking you for serving everyone 99 cent burritos, your wallet sure will.
Lastly, don't forget music. Music can really make or break a wedding, and it's good, if you're the groom, to suggest some music that will really capture the moment forever.
If a snarling ballad about Satan's asshole followed by a 27 minute guitar riff doesn't say "Baby I love you," then we just don't know what does.
So remember, gents, that no matter what anybody else says, your ideas are awesome. And even if you don't have the green light from your betrothed to have Cheesy Gordita Supremes and Satanic Manslaughter Fjord at your wedding, at least you showed that you care enough to make suggestions. Which is what it's really all about.
I guess what we're saying is... ultimately, it's her special day. And regardless of what you suggest, your opinion doesn't really matter. But God bless you for trying.
Married men - did you have a say in the planning of your wedding? Married women - did you let your husband help you plan the wedding? If so... why, God, why?
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Beer: Upslope Craft Lager
Music: The Gaslight Anthem