Following our recent post about offensiveness, it has been brought to our attention that we are culturally insensitive idiots. Therefore, we have decided to devote today's post to broadening our horizons. We're going to break down the barriers of race and prejudice, and explore the rich cultural significance of those who share much of the USA with us, our industrious neighbors to the south that live in America's neckbeard: the Mexicans.
Now the two of us are actually each half Mexican. However, if you meld the two of us together, you don't get one whole Mexican who actually knows and understands the Mexican culture.
So we needed some firsthand experience. But we've heard all this talk that there's some kind of border problems with a huge fence and aliens or something trying to get through, so for our own personal safety we decided we won't be taking a trip to Mexico for firsthand research, since apparently this is the US/Mexico border.
And the last thing we need is a zombie alien infection. Or whatever's going on down there.
So we just decided to go ahead and swing for the fences, and have Bryan's Mexican wife, Meli, tell us if we nailed it or not. With that said, here are some facts we wanted to present to you about Mexico.
Daily attire: In Olde Mexico (not to be confused with New Mexico, which is like Mexico but full of bored, elderly white people), the locals prefer to wear loudly colored mumus that resemble itchy tablecloths, and giant hats called sombreros which are large enough to carry an assortment of goods on top of one's head.
Music: No surprise here, but Mexican citizens enjoy a wide assortment of music, including everything from "mariachi polka" to "mariachi accordion polka."
Food: And of course, let's not overlook Mexico's richest tradition of them all: the ability to take the same five ingredients and turn them into fifty distinctly different meals. Such is the magic of Mexico.
It doesn't matter what you call it: beef + cheese + lettuce + tomatoes + tortilla always = pure culinary magic.
So that's Mexico in a nutshell. We hope this has helped inspire you to learn more about other cultures than your own. And if it hasn't, we hope at the very least that it doesn't inspire you to commit a hate crime.
How about you? Are you as terribly misinformed about your ethnic background as we are?
Cheers and stay classy, folks,
P.S. It's worth mentioning that Bryan's wife's favorite childhood toy, no lie, was indeed the ball in the cup.
Beer: Modelo Negro
Music: Juan Direction