Monday, July 14, 2014

The Five Stages of Injury

Thanks to the Kübler-Ross model, we have the five stages of grief that one goes through when encountering death. It's a powerful and accurate psychological model, and like everything else science tells us, we believe it with unflinching loyalty. And today, we'd like to reveal the lesser known (but far more important) counterpart to the Kübler-Ross model. It's called the Five Stages of Injury, and if you pay attention it may well save your life.*

*Assuming your life, in fact, is worth saving.

The Five Stages of Injury

1. Denial

The first stage is going into denial that the injury even happened to begin with. Surely there's no way you could have just cut yourself with a kitchen knife. No, it's probably the tomato that's bleeding. Or, you know, that blood was probably just there from yesterday.








2. Anger

After the denial has passed, rather than trying to come up with a solution to your injury, this is the moment that either you scold yourself for even having done it in the first place, or get irrationally angry at the object that just injured you.




3. Temporary Insanity 

Once your anger calms, this is the moment that your brain stops working properly and you begin to question and extremely over-analyze the seriousness of the injury. Is that old nail that I just put through my hand sending rust molecules coursing through my bloodstream, giving me cancer? Is my arm tingling because I accidentally hit it with a hammer or because it's preparing to fall off? It's been 20 minutes and this cut on my hand hasn't stopped bleeding; am I now going to bleed out onto the kitchen floor, leaving behind a dry, withered husk of a human corpse for my loved ones to find?




4. Hospital Avoidance 

Immediately following your self diagnosis is the stage when you try to figure out, using irrational logic and no medical knowledge whatsoever, what it will take to NOT have to drive yourself to the hospital, because we all know how expensive and shitty that is compared to toughing out an injury.




5. Sweet, Sweet Acceptance

This is the last stage of injury, when you finally come to the acceptance that there's nothing further you can do outside of soap and water, some Spiderman band-aids, and a long nap. Ultimately, you've come to terms with your health's future... for better or for worse.





After this, the healing process can begin... assuming, of course, that that rusty nail didn't actually give you bone cancer.

Cheers and stay uninjured, friends,
B&B

Beer: Leinenkugel Summer Shandy
Music: Benny Goodman

Oh, and to those who entered our Mystery Box of Awesomeness contest once upon a time ago, our two winners were gracious enough to post what we sent them. So if curiosity strikes you and you want to see what the Mystery Boxes contained, then go check out Robyn and Chiz's blogs to see what you could have won if you'd only bribed us had better luck.

Spoiler alert: contains a shitload of bubble wrap

Robyn - Mystery Box #1
Chiz - Mystery Box #2




106 comments:

  1. I tend to hit the anger stage quickly. Which results in further injury, perpetuating the cycle. Yeah, that rather sucks.

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    1. Yeah, nothing's worse (and dumber) than hurting one hand in an accident, only to hurt the other by immediately punching the wall.

      Delete
  2. I love the random Spodermon on the band-aid there. It's been a while since I was injured in a big way. I think the last time I did that was when I bruised my toe kicking a wall in frustration. This is actually pretty accurate for what I went through. I went a few hours before getting past the denial phase.

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    1. We weren't smart enough to buy the Spiderman bandaids so we bought the Spoderman cheap knockoffs. Then again, we're also not smart enough to stop kicking inanimate objects and injuring ourselves, so you can see where it all stems from.

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  3. I get to the pissed off stage rather quick too and much swearing comes due. Thankfully I'm more of a break things as opposed to break myself kind of person and things don't talk back lol

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    1. Fun fact: I once made a woman so angry that she kicked a piece of metal and broke her foot. I wear that like a badge of honor.

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  4. During the Great Depression, my grandfather nearly severed a hand when a saw or an axe or some damn thing slipped and cut him bad. To keep him from bleeding to death while they hitched up the horse and wagon to take him to the doctor in town, my grandmother had him stick his hand and wrist in a big bag of flour so the flour would gum up the wound. I tell you this in case you're out of Spiderman bandaids the next time you cut your fingie.

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    1. This makes complete sense. I bet if you sign up for Obamacare they just send you a bag of flour and some prayer beads.

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  5. I think I go through these all of these stages in about 2.1 seconds, and spend the most time in the: Daydrinking to Heal Phase.
    I did think I was going to see a butcher knife holding a switchblade in a "Come at me, Bro" stance today, so thank you for that!

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    1. God help us all, the day our knives learn how to wield slightly smaller knives.

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  6. This is pretty informative, especially since I've been trying to figure out how to get a Spiderman band-aid. (Can I say "band-aid"? Is one of us going to get hit for trademark infringement if I do? If the Band-Aid brand people come by, I want them to know that I was specifically referring to the philanthropic project from the Eighties in which a bunch of British celebrities performed a song called "Do They Know it's Christmas?")

    I no longer have any idea what i was talking about, but I remember the blog post was funny. Something about cutting off body parts, as I recall...

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    1. Human dismemberment is funny to you? This was a very serious post outlining Brandon's tragic amputation, in which he lost an arm, a leg, and his dominant finger, leaving him in a wheelchair and without a proper way to steer it. I don't know what about Brandon missing arms and legs and bumping into walls with his wheelchair because he lacks the fingers to drive it is "funny" to you.

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  7. I once cut my finger while attempting to open one of those impossible plastic packagings with a huge meat-knife. "Ouch, that stings. Doesn't look like it's bleeding though." A minute later the entire sink was covered in blood. That is not an exaggeration. "Shit will I bleed out? Beter drink my own sweet nectar so I don't die malnutrition."
    ...Come on, I can't be the only one who drinks the blood from his wounds?

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    1. You're definitely not the only one if you sparkle and are attracted to bland, clingy human girls.

      Also, you can just drink blood and reabsorb it into your veins? I'm an idiot. I always just blew it back into the wound with a straw.

      Delete
  8. Lol. I think we can all relate to this one some level.
    I hate when I get a cut due to a silly mistake that I could have avoided. I am the one who would be in denial :)

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    1. Oh yes, I've cut myself while chopping vegetables and just still stood there, chopping veggies and bleeding onto the carrots, telling myself aloud, "Nope, I didn't just cut myself. Nope, I'm not that stupid."

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  9. Funny how many of us avoid the hospital and the doctors office. I've never been too seriously hurt. The worst thing was that I burnt the side of my arm (fully healed now with no marks) on the oven door. Though I did go to the doctor for it. They have me some kind of cream to make it heal. Luckily it was generic so it didn't cost an arm and a leg.

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    1. Last time a friend of mine fell and got a hematoma on her head, it was $8,000 for the ambulance ride to the hospital and about another $1,000 for ER work. For that price, I'll just suffer quietly at home.

      Delete
  10. In case I get soooo caught up in the story I am about to relate, I want to make sure that I throw out what a funny bit this was. :D

    When I was a kid (talking ages 6-10), we lived in South Florida and I just refused to wear shoes. As you might imagine, this led to all manner of minor foot injuries. Yeah, not the sharpest knife in the drawer at that age. That was the 70s when furniture was made better and very different from the way it is today. In this specific case, our couch had legs in the middle that I am sure supported the overall structure of the couch much better than the legs just on the ends. It also had that little bit of material (or swag or whatever it was) that ran all the way around to the floor so that no one had to actually see the legs of the couch.

    That was good and bad news. Probably more aesthetically appealing, but I rammed my toes into that middle leg on weekly, if not daily, basis. As you might imagine, a seven year old just doesn't respond well to that sort of thing. I grabbed my foot and hollered like someone had chopped it off and then laid on the offensive couch and whined and/or cried about it.

    After witnessing this several times, my father started speaking before I could actually begin the caterwauling part of this show. As soon as I yelped, grabbed my foot, and began hopping around on one leg, he said, "Now why did you go and hurt the couch like that?"

    And I responded with, "The couch? What about my toe?"

    And he would say, "Looks fine to me, but the leg of that couch is looking worse for the wear."

    And then I would spend some minutes sitting on the couch pondering who I was maddest at... the couch leg or my daddy for sticking up for it. And completely forgot the caterwauling part of the show, which I am sure was his intention.

    After awhile, it became a running gag. At least until I got smarter and started wearing shoes. Now, I abhor flip flops, won't walk around barefoot, and can barely tolerate sandals. So, I guess the lesson stuck.

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    1. Unless I leave the house, I'm barefoot constantly. I feel like reading this story is now an open invitation to horrifically injure my foot. Also, my parents seemed to always have the same philosophy - a limb can heal, but a piece of furniture cannot.

      Delete
    2. Ah well, the foreshadowing comes in the strangest of places. Maybe you should begin wearing shoes????

      Yeah, parents are skilled like that. These are thoughts to keep in mind should you and your wife decide to procreate.

      Delete
    3. I just can't wear shoes in my own home. That's such a white people thing. There's something about lounging around in a pair of sneakers that seems like the antithesis of comfort.

      Delete
  11. As a total, complete clod who regularly injures herself, I can honestly say that this post is extremely accurate. I can't tell you the number of chair legs that are on my enemies list, or the perfectly flat, stable floors that are on VERY thin ice with me, as they have twisted my feet/ankles more times than I can count. Jerks! I'm coming for you, kitchen tile! You had better Watch. Your. Step. And mine, too, because seriously, I could use all the help I can get!

    PS: That knife that is threatening you with another knife? One of my new favorite things. Aweseome. :)

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    1. Yeah, you think that's awesome until you wake up in the middle of the night and your enemy the chair leg is holding a broken chair leg, coming for sweet vengeance.

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    2. What would you call that? Painception, I guess?

      Delete
  12. LOL oh, you guys! You crack me up.
    Hmm, for me . . . Slamming my pinky toe on, oh I dunno, a pair of socks and getting a horrible cut:
    1-Denial: "I didn't just F-ing do that!"
    2-Anger: "Why the F don't I look where I'm going?" [Kicks the wall with the injured foot, causing toe to fall off.]
    3-Temporary Insanity: "It was that curse that one year old put on me three years ago because I didn't change his diaper! I'm going to slowly and painfully lose all my limbs."
    4-Hospital Avoidance: "I don't need to go to the hospital, I have crazy glue somewhere."
    5-Sweet, Sweet Acceptance: "Ahhh, it was just ketchup my kid somehow got on the socks. I'm now infected with Ketchupfungunitis and going to die, someone call the ambulance!"

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "Call an ambulance? Do I look like I'm made of ambulance money? I'll just walk."

      "But what if your foot gets even more infected and falls off?"

      "A prosthetic* is still cheaper than an ambulance ride."

      *duct taping a mannequin's foot to your leg stump

      Delete
  13. This was Houdini's problem, he got punched in the stomach, skipped step 5 and went right to death.
    I know you put a lot of work into the art, so I would like to compliment you on the backgrounds. The poster in the first couple of panels made me legit laugh.

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    1. I'm going to forward this comment to my 8th grade math teacher so she can see that at least SOMEONE appreciates my constant doodling.

      Delete
  14. I actually do all of that. It's not very helpful to do at work, but it still happens.

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    1. "Here's your entree. Don't mind the blood and the severed finger. That was totally like that before I got to it."

      Delete
  15. So a simple paper cut left you with only 3 fingers? Was that an artistic typo or was it just for the sake of humor that perhaps nobody else noticed?

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    1. Three fingers? I count four. Everyone has four fingers: Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson, even Mickey Mouse. You gonna go and tell me you have five like some kind of freak?

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    2. My bad....3 fingers and a thumb. I guess that brings it up to human standards.

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    3. Oooh, okay, that makes a lot more sense now. I mean, 3 fingers only? What are we, the Ninja Turtles?

      The Ninja Turtles Only Have 3 Fingers

      Delete
  16. Hahahaha!!!! How do you guys do it? I'm seriously waiting for you to flop one of these days… guess I'll be waiting a while…

    Those pictures are seriously disturbing. I can't remember which one of you does the artwork, but man… do you have nightmares at night? But I'm SO GLAD the pretty purple-haired wife made another appearance! She's becoming my favorite character. Her expression is SO funny.

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    1. So, YOU'RE the person who goes to the comedy club, waiting for the performer to bomb, aren't you? No pressure or anything!

      Hey, if you want a flop, we can deliver. Stay tuned for next week's post devoted to knock knock jokes, as co-hosted by Bob Saget and Pauly Shore.

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    2. LOL!!!!

      (And just so you know, you're still the only blog I come back to read again--which is a huge compliment) ;-)

      Delete
  17. I've had some "mishaps" in the garden recently. Denied every one of them except the dislocated shoulder. That one sent me to casualty as The Hubby refused to attempt relocating it himself.

    Women tend to over dramatize small injuries whilst I've seen men cut themselves seriously with chainsaws and try to just "shake it off" Recently I saw a motorcycle accident where the throttle of the bike got stuck. This poor bloke hit a tree stump in the front of a house. He flew over the handle bars at about 80mph. His body his the solid brick of the house, and his legs went through a window. He got up, walked around, worrying about his bike. The guy was bleeding profusely from his head, his stomach and his legs. He refused to sit down or let anyone call 911. We ignored him and called an ambulance. By the time they got there he was going into shock. Now if a woman breaks a fingernail, she cries.

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    1. True story: when my wife got drugged by the gays she was black out, dead-on-her-feet roofied at a bar. Her brother, who's an idiot, called an ambulance. My wife, incoherent as she was, remembered how much ambulances cost and told the medic to go fuck himself. He said, "Fine, but I need you to sign a release form then," so she made her brother hold up her hand and scrawl some kind of awful botched up signature just to get him to go away, and she saved BOTH of us from having to pay an $8,000 ambulance bill, where they would have done nothing more for her than just keep an eye on her and rack up more useless bills.

      I could not have been prouder of the girl. <3

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  18. Hahaha! I can totally relate to the self diagnosis stage. Thank God for Spider Man Band aids!

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    1. I think the general rule of a cut/wound is, "If I can't see it, it's probably fine." So... cover that sucker with a few bandaids and call it good. Blood soaking through? Better tack on one more.

      Delete
  19. Have you guys always had only three fingers or is that because of previous injuries?

    I knew a guy that kicked a box of bricks (tell me why anyone puts bricks in a box, seriously) in anger and broke his foot. But, really, he deserved it. Seriously, he did.

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    1. Even if he wasn't a jerk, kicking a solid inanimate object is pretty much something you can only blame on yourself.

      Like other cartoons before us, we've always had 4 fingers. I'd give you some spiel about how it's homage to Homer Simpson or more quirky that way... but MSPaint doesn't afford a lot of drawing room with small objects, so 4 fingers makes it easier to draw and manipulate hands.

      THE MORE YOU KNOW

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  20. I tend to get overly emotional, but next time I will follow your five steps and see it things go better for me. Thanks, you are awesome!

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    1. Depending on severity of injury, I think it's perfectly fine to be emotional.

      *sniffle* "God, I'm gonna miss that penis. It was my favorite penis. Damn you, lawnmower!"

      Delete
  21. I think this post could've just as easily been titled, "How manly men behave when they get an owwie." I like it, especially the anger cartoon. That one scares me. Now I'm inclined to buy Spiderman instead of Hello Kitty bandaids, assuming they do better to keep my limbs attached to the rest of me.

    Thanks for linking to my blog! I'm wondering if I should take the bubble wrap off yet. I have to pee.

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    1. Spongebob Squarepants bandaids are the best of all but are often too expensive and hogged by small, greedy little children. Hey jackass - I need that for the finger I just cut off with a buzzsaw more than you need it for your little owwie that you got tripping on a sidewalk!

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  22. I usually skip to step 3...but am too cheap to buy Spidey bandaids...I buy those cheap store brand ones that never seem to stick until you go to pull them off, and your hair and skin come with them...

    Larry

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    1. Pssh, that skin and hair was just hindering the healing process anyway...

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  23. I just love your comics. You're too funny!

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  24. I am quite prone to injuring myself so I must say I'm truely thankful for the national health service here in the UK. I'm usually dazed and confused having injured myself in some self inflicted speed of light 'how the fuck did that happen' accident caused by arsing around doing something retarded.

    In related news: I had to write a lengthy paper on the Kubler-ross model once. This was way more interesting.

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    1. Yeah, yeah, rub in your awesome healthcare. Meanwhile, I get a deep cut, and I'd rather sew it up with dental floss like Rambo since I don't have $1,000 to just drop on an ER visit. And that's WITH insurance.

      Oh, no, it's cool, I don't need to eat this month, so long as you sewed up the tiny gash in my finger.

      Delete
    2. Yeah that's pretty rediculous. I'm certain I'd be dead if I lived in the States.

      At the very least I'd have a whole bunch of botched dental floss stitches and gnarly scars from hospital avoidance.

      Delete
  25. This is so true. I fell down the stairs at work and sprained my ankle, because I am that graceful. I was in such a state of shock I thought it was a good idea to drive myself to the hospital using my left foot only. It has cost so much I wish I had just put a spidey band-aide on it.

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    1. On the plus side, at least you did that over calling an ambulance. I had a friend who got an ambulance ride and she was charged $8,000. For that much, there had better be fucking cocktails waiting for me in back. And strippers plated in solid gold.

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    2. I know some EMT's that would arrange it for an extra 8 thousand

      Delete
  26. I sliced myself twice with a razor knife last week. Denial was one stage. LOL I did not just do this! Then I waited around to see if the finger would fall off or just bleed. It bled. Still ain't healed either. Stupid fingers! Love some Shandy on a hot day!

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    1. I like Summer Shandy because it's like Mike's Hard Lemonade except it's not pure sugar and I don't look like a preteen girl drinking it.

      If I want to see myself bleed, I'll just work on my car. My hands invariably come out looking like they just went through a meat grinder.

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  27. Yep...this would be me at least every other week. In my kitchen. Yep.

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    1. As a guy who cooks every day and chops a lot of veggies, I'm just surprised at this point that I haven't yet amputated a finger.

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    2. You and me both, man. Though I did lose a big chunk of flesh under my thumb once. I only wish I had a better story about the scar, other than "I was chopping an onion".

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  28. So interested in the incident that inspired this post...

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    1. Brandon, in his garage, removing old, rusty nails without eyewear and having one embed itself near his eyeball, prompting the question, "Is rust burrowing through my bloodstream now, and if so, will it blind me?" <-- the things that make complete sense when you're injured, alone, and panicking

      Delete
  29. A good self diagnosis can go far, in adding to the medical bills

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    1. I'm pretty sure just about every symptom on WebMD leads directly back to cancer.

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  30. I think I've repeated a few of those stages, and maybe even did some of them out of order—other than the injury itself, of course. Oh, and I think your wife and I could be BFFs.

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    1. I'm certain you guys could. She's just as popular on here as she is in everyday life. Damn her magnetic charm! I can't even be popular on my own blog!

      Delete
  31. Keeping the broken arm proves that all lefties have Obamacare and get to keep every limb in trade for their dignity. Goodman is pretty harsh and gives way too much head, but the beer you like is the beer you like. Sometimes I also I go to sleep to that Shandy lullaby.

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    1. This is what happens when you post 3 Shandies in at 11 PM the night before post day.

      If you're talking about Benny Goodman, totally agree. But if you're talking about John Goodman? No way. The man's a master at cradling the balls.

      Delete
  32. I go through to the 2 stage process of dealing with injury.

    Stage 1) Scream and shout about the injustice of this injury, about how it always happens to me, and how I am the unluckiest bastard to ever bastard on a bastard.

    Stage 2) Go to bed for the rest of the day to recover.

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    1. That must suck to get a papercut first thing in the morning and your whole day is just ruined.

      Delete
    2. Some days I'd wake up and just bang my head on the headboard. It put a real crimp on my social life.

      Delete
  33. Yeah, I deal in a similar manner.

    "Of course. Of course this would f**king happen," I scream. Then I snap the pencil in half, resulting in more damage to my epidermis. At this point, I repeat the previous step while foregoing the physical aspect. The perpetrator always has the last laugh, even if it is an inanimate object.

    When I worked in a kitchen, I'd saw through my finger from time to time. I'd try to cover it up by burying my finger into the palm of my hand because I was more embarrassed than anything. Welp, that never worked and I'd have to deal with all the sanitation procedures in the middle of a rush.

    And, despite saying I guzzled down the four beers at once in my post, I enjoyed the Colorado Native last night. It was pretty damn tasty.

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    1. "Errrm, garcon, my salad has blood in it?"
      "Yes, that comes complements of the chef."

      Sending beer through the mail is a federal crime, but I'm pretty sure enjoying a Colorado Native on the east coast is an even bigger offense.

      Delete
  34. I am horribly guilty of irrational anger over injury. I have stooped so low as to blame people in the room with having telepathic abilities. Would the final stage of injury for men would be picking up chicks with the scar?

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    1. Oh yes, the irrational blame. I know that all too well. "Well, I wouldn't have ran into this damn chair if my wife hadn't put it there 8 months ago when I kind of sort of thought that maybe it should have been moved 6 inches to the left."

      Picking up chicks depends on the location of the scar.

      "Check out this scar on my arm."
      Ooooh, that's awesome.

      "Check out this scar on my penis."
      Time for some pepper spray!

      Delete
  35. Spidey fixes everything. Y'all sound like my husband :)
    Love the last cartoon with the knife.

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    1. It's true, Spiderman can fix everything. Not only did he repair the leak in my faucet, but he also mended my broken heart.

      Delete
  36. I went through these stages when I cut myself with the butcher knife I was using on an onion. You know, the bigger the knife, the better job it does cutting, right? The butcher knife hit the bone of my finger but I was in total denial. Then I got angry because my boyfriend wanted to get me to the hospital. I will say, you left out one stage: acting like a complete baby. That's what I did,"I don't wanna go to the doctor! It's gonna hurt!" "Waahh"

    Can't wait to see the prizes you bestowed on Chiz and Robyn!

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    1. I have a set of special knives so sharp that my mother wouldn't let me have them until I turned 30 last year. No joke. She's had them for 15 years, and the day she bought them she cut her finger just like you cut yours and put them away for good. Just locked them in a drawer. When I moved out I asked and I asked and I asked if I could have them, and she said no, you'll cut off your finger.

      I think she just wanted me to completely avoid that whole "acting like a baby" stage.

      Delete
  37. hahaha that is totally me when I injure myself! denial and then avoid going to the hospital. but going to the hospital sucks because we have to wait so freaking long... you hear people die waiting in emergency rooms... thats canada health care for ya :P

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    1. Hey now, your Canadian health care is leaps and bounds above ours. We wait in line forever, and then die in line, and then still get stuck with a $10,000 bill.

      Delete
  38. Ummm. You still have all of your digits, right? They didn't end up in the mystery boxes?

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    1. Oh God no, we need all of our fingers to write.

      Our winners did receive two practically brand new big toes, though.

      Delete
  39. Man, is this ever the truth. I love it when you see someone fall down in public. Their leg could be skewed at an odd angle with bone poking out of their flesh and yet they hop up and deny any pain whatsoever. Course, I've been known to do the same thing myself. Nothing worse than being a public klutz.

    Interesting I find these five stage also are pretty accurate for other health related issues. Finally I've reached the 'sweet acceptance' stage and stopped thinking I can just push through my pain. Oh...that feels so good.

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    1. What is it about falling down that's so funny? Like, falling down stairs is never not funny. I remember a time in high school that a guy fell down the stairs, and he dropped all of his books, and like a perfect comedic gift from the heavens right as the top book skidded to a halt, a nudie magazine popped out of the center. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

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  40. The last sequence reminded me of an old Mel Brooks quote, about the difference between comedy and tragedy. "It's comedy if you fall down an open manhole. But if I cut my finger, it's a tragedy."

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    1. I love that quote, and it's 100% true. I pity anyone who falls and breaks their coccyx. Between the funny name, the big inflatable donut, and literally breaking your ass, I can hardly think of a funnier injury.

      Delete
  41. I know you probably meant this as a joke but those are the EXACT stages I go through including the part where I am convinced I have cancer AND will bleed to death. It's like you looked into my mind. I was laughing at it but also thinking "Well, sure, but who wants to die of Lead Nail Cancer and NOT see it coming?"

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    1. Oh trust me, we've both been there, so this post is only half joking. Brandon once got a piece of metal lodged near his eye, and was wondering at one point if the metal would circulate his bloodstream and make him go blind. Bryan, meanwhile, once laid on his arm all night and cut off the circulation, so he woke up to an arm that had completely fallen asleep and was unresponsive, so he hazily wondered if his arm had gone dead in his sleep and would rot off. Because, you know, that's what arms do.

      Delete
  42. Here in England medical care is free, so we have to come up with other reasons for avoiding the hospital. Suddenly we find ourselves miraculously healed when faced with the prospect of being surrounded by the elderly people wearing loose-fitting gowns or the possibility of being kept overnight and having to eat the mutant slop they call, and believe me I use the term very loosely, ‘food.’

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    1. Hospital food isn't any better here. The average cost per night to stay in an American hospital is $2,000... for that, you'd think you'd get something a little better than boxed mashed potatoes and a soggy patty that has been labeled "meat."

      Delete
  43. Not only was this extremely funny (which is a given), but you did a sensational job of conveying how most men will avoid seeing the doctor at all costs, and how even the toughest ones complain about the slightest things! Nice touch paying with an arm and a leg!

    Julie

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    1. As cosmic irony would have it, I've injured myself in the last 2 days and am fighting off going to the doctor like the stubborn man that I am, because it's all fun and games until you REALLY have to fork over that arm and leg...

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  44. And I thought I was bad about not going to see the doctor. Maybe I'm secretly a man. *looks down, see's boobs. Nope, definitely not a man. ;)

    Loved the mystery boxes.

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    1. Any excuse to see boobs is a good one, even if it's your own. Well, unless you're us. If I looked down and saw boobs I'd probably question my life choices.

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  45. Hey fellas, I dedicated something to you on the HERE'S TO YOU post. It wasn't quite what I was looking for, but I hope you like it anyway....

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    1. Thank you! We liked everything except for the idea of Katherine Heigl having sex. That is a strong, strong "pass."

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  46. Move to France. You'll avoid needing to use this model after all. :P

    (P.S. Nice beer choice!)

    -Barb

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  47. You pretty much nailed this (im sure others have used this pun but as usual I am well down the list of comments)
    I tore my calf muscle, told myself it was "just a cramp", berated myself for walking and talking on the phone and then in a fit of insanity proceeded to walk (?) around an art exhibition.
    But I did get three weeks off work

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  48. Ha! I love this! I feel like I say that every week. I love it when people get angry at inanimate objects - that's the best part.

    But it's so true, especially the temporary insanity stage. I recently opened my fridge and the fridge door fell off and onto my face (yes, you read that right). I was convinced I had concussion when, really, it barely touched me.... or maybe I did get concussion and I still have it now... is there such a thing as fridge poisoning?

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  49. An arm and a leg... Good thing I'm an octopus in my free time.

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  50. When is Conan going to discover you boys?

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    1. Not soon enough. Someone get the man Internet access, stat!

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