Basically, this program allows you to take your perfectly useless household dog...
...and turn him or her into a "caring canine" that helps bring comfort to those who are in pain at the hospital.
So Meli figured it was about time her poodle started pulling his weight around the house and got a job like the rest of us. Bryan was adamantly behind this.
When Meli signed up, she envisioned making a difference. Brightening someone's day. Bringing joy to someone in pain. Giving someone who's a bit stir crazy something to break up the monotony of a long day spent in a hospital bed. What she didn't imagine was joining the lonely women's dog club.
The women in this program are all a little odd. Rather than focusing on the helping aspect, they're more about the "look at me, my dog is saving the world and we as women are united by this" kind of thing. It's like they justify their own existence through their dogs.
Meli first noticed things were a bit odd when she was asked to make a business card... Not for her, but for Little Man. And the example she was sent and strongly encouraged to "go off of" was a trainwreck clearly written by a very lonely, very insane woman.
So Little Man now has a full color business card. Just let that sink in if you're a working human adult and you don't have a business card. Maybe you should question your life choices now. Bryan sure did.
And it only got crazier from there. Meli and her dog were soon called in for a photoshoot... and yes, the photoshoot was for the dog.
...for the 2014 Service Dog Calendar.
No, really. That's a thing. A sad, yearly thing. And the Lonely Woman's Dog Club can all giggle and high five each other as each of their dogs is individually highlighted as being Service Dog of the Month.
Ultimately, Meli enjoys it, and as far as we can tell, Little Man enjoys it. She'll continue to do it because she loves helping people. What she will not do, however, is become one of these kooky spinsters trying to justify her existence through her dog. Because unlike their humans, we know that the dogs don't really give a shit about being Mr. October or having the snazziest business card or having an "official service dog uniform" that shows just how important they are. They just like people.
Which makes them better than Brandon and I, because on most days, we hate people.
|Check out that badge; it looks higher quality than any work badge I'VE ever had...|
Cheers and stay obedient, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)
Music: Van She
Beer: Newcastle Brown Ale