Monday, April 28, 2014

The Drunken Haunted House Voyage of Doom...and Drunkenness

It was a dark and stormy night, long long ago in the time of last Tuesday. The two of us were planning to tour the Upslope Brewery in Boulder, but after 2 hours of enthusiastic pre-drinking our plan was derailed, because we discovered the truth behind Upslope and its awesome craft beers.

What we (literally) stumbled upon was not a brewery; rather, it was an abandoned maze of mystery machines, run by the ghosts of men and women who had died long, long ago but still continued to brew... BEYOND THE GRAVE.


We fearlessly entered their lair, and the beer-brewing ghosts were none too pleased with our invading their haunted factory.


The haunted brewery was also full of mysterious items that we can only assume were once used for medieval torture.




We saw things that neither of us can rationally explain. We drank the ghost of beer that once was. Brandon experienced the demonic possession that is beer goggles and almost made out with an empty keg. And Bryan, well, he hit his head really, really hard and saw the light at the end of the beer bottle.





At that point we were informed that we weren't actually experiencing a "haunting," we were experiencing "massive drunkenness." Apparently blurred vision can make everyone look like a ghost, even the nice girl who was kind enough to take us on a tour of the brewery and put up with our shenanigans.

(If anything, that's a testament to the strength and awesomeness of Upslope's beer)

But really, though, the two of us enjoyed a very nice tour of the Upslope Brewing facility in Boulder this week, and we'd like to thank Bethany Lovato for not only inviting us down for a tour but for agreeing to be made into a classily tasteful cartoon character.*

*Please don't sue us. We don't know what 'classily tasteful' even means, but if anything, Jesus is pretty classy, right?

So, beer fans, get out there and grab yourself a draft of Upslope if you can. They brew godly nectar in a myriad of styles, and are kind enough to can it for the masses. Either the craft lager or the IPA is our particular favorite but they've got a lot of great brews all around.

And no, they didn't pay us to say any of this. We sought them out and asked them for a private tour just because we like their beer that much.


...Or rather, this much.


What's your favorite beer?

Cheers and stay classy, folks,
-B&B

Beer: Upslope Thai IPA
Music: Metz



124 comments:

  1. I'm sure you two were in beer Heaven.
    Did Brandon get to take home that keg? Or was it just a one-night beer fling?

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    1. No, he totally got cockblocked by the keg's fat, lonely friend "Armed Security Guard." I guess if he wasn't taking anyone home, neither was Brandon. What a buzzkill.

      Delete
  2. Congratulations on getting the tour, and congratulations to Brandon for getting to third base with that pallet of beer. Hopefully you didn't try to pull the mask off of Bethany to try and reveal Old Man Witherby who owns the abandoned amusement park.

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    1. We would have, were we not too busy being chased by the decapitated g-g-ghost of Colonel Beauregard Sanders and special guest star Count Chocula.

      Delete
  3. I think Jesus is pretty classy.

    What a great tour. I love that you guys stumbled into the brewery on a Tuesday. That just struck me as too much fun! Kinda like a Fat Tuesday in New Orleans. You just have to do it.

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    1. In his time, Jesus turned water to wine, but I'd like to think in this era he'd turn water into delicious craft beer.

      Also, I don't know what New Orleans' deal is, but every Tuesday is Fat Tuesday in THIS household.

      Delete
    2. You know those Cajuns, they can be a bit snobby when it comes to that there Mardis Gras...

      Delete
  4. Zoinks! I didn't know taking a tour of a brewery was as easy as just asking. So, you're saying selling my body to the brewmaster in a twisted, real-life 50 Shades of Hops was completely unnecessary?

    That's pretty cool that you got to tour your favorite brewery, though!

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    1. When you're a D-list Internet celebrity like WE are, Chiz, doors like this just open for you everywhere. The dude at Chili's tells you it's gonna be a 20 minute wait? Uh, did I mention I'm one half of A Beer for the Shower? Oh, sir, I had no idea. That'll only be a 15 minute wait now.

      BOOM.

      Delete
  5. Hope he called the Keg the next morning. There is nothing worse than making out and then never getting a 2nd date.

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    1. We caught that skanky little keg hooking up with a tap behind the building. Brandon has since been inconsolable.

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  6. That's weird, because I used to drink in order NOT to see ghosts.

    But you have inspired me to go on drunken tours of various places around my town. Mostly because the "frustrated ghost" pic is hilarious.

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    1. Yeah, apparently ghosts hate it when you call them ghosts. Especially if they're not ghosts. May we suggest drunkenly touring the public library or the McDonald's ball pit for added hilarity and hijinks?

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  7. Replies
    1. The best beer is always free beer. Unless that beer is Keystone Ice.

      Delete
  8. Beer is the nectar of the heavens, crafted by the Holy Spirit Himself. (according to this post) There are no such places in these parts where a visit to heaven is just a tour away. So I say unto thee, I must visit this Holy land, known to many as Colorado.

    I also hear that Colorado is also where the Gods go to make a divine plant, when used, enhances your undying relationship with God.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Between the beer and the pot, this may very well be your mecca. And I didn't think weed enhanced one's relationship with God. I thought it just made you eat Cheetos in your underwear and watch old Scooby Doo reruns.

      Delete
    2. >>... I thought it just made you eat Cheetos in your underwear and watch old Scooby Doo reruns.

      Dude, you say that like it's NOT heavenly!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underwear'

      Delete
    3. You must embrace the powers of weed and the many benefits it imposes upon the faithful user. Not only does it have properties that are beneficial to cancer patients, it also can increase ones intelligence tenfold. Or it can dumb you down and reduce you to eating Cheetos in your underwear and subjecting yourself to the mindless cartoons.

      Delete
    4. I like those odds! Time to smoke myself into a genius IQ and fight off all this cancer I've got in me...

      Delete
  9. Honestly, I wouldn't be all that surprised if you showed up to the tour drunk. Not as drunk as you described here, but still.
    Great of them to give you a tour like that, being nice to your fanbase is a huge plus.

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    1. Actually, we didn't have a single drink before that tour. Wouldn't have made sense to. That's like having a sandwich before you hit up your favorite buffet.

      Delete
  10. I've never heard of Upslope before, but there's a lot of beers to keep up with.

    I think the most memorable name with a unique name choice (to me) is Kirin beer. It's a Japanese beer. Kirin means giraffe, but originally referred to a giant creatures that kind of looked like a goat with a dragon head. Apparently they thought giraffes looked a lot like it so the name kinda stuck. The more mythical kirin is on the bottle art.

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    1. Ah yes, Kirin, my beer of choice when having sushi. Not the best beer I've ever had, but it beats Bud Light/Coors Light by a mile. Plus... flying goat dragon. You don't fuck with the flying goat dragon.

      Delete
  11. A religious experience would do you good, Bryan. And Brandon -- sheesh, get a room, man.

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    1. I tried praying for help, but I think this nerdy ascot is blocking my God Wi-Fi.

      Delete
  12. <<<<-- Brandon, I can see Jesus. He's beautiful.

    Hahahahahaha. That is only rivaled by Brandon swimming int the beer and "drowning in AWESOMENESS."

    I pretty much (I have brain farts and relapse) quit drinking beer years ago. I finally figured out that most alcohol makes my migraines worse. I can get away with a glass of wine okay, but everything else... natch. So, I love reading about other people's love affairs with beer and the like. Although, most people don't hug the cans... just sayin'.

    It just occurred to me that I have an incriminating picture of myself in Italy with gelatto. It feels a bit like glass houses...

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    1. You know you can't post a comment like that if you aren't going to post the picture that goes along with it. What makes it incriminating? And what are you doing to that poor, poor gelato...?

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    2. Come to think of it, I'm curious to see that picture, myself!

      I represent a gelato rights movement....

      LC

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  13. That would be one harsh hangover, been there once and never again. People were ghost like and I couldn't even move for a good hour. So are you thinking about ways to get all tat beer out of there and into your basement?

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    1. The funny thing is, Brandon had a hangover going into that tour. But that didn't stop him from drinking his fair share. You know... hair of the dog.

      Delete
  14. I can totally relate to this post except instead of beer, I imagine shoes or Ikea designer dept (mock me all you want..yeah yeah)
    BTB why would you see Jesus shouldn't be seeing some Greek goddess pouring wine or some playboy chick feeing you grapes or something? This image is extremely disappointing or should I say disturbing? I was high and I saw Jesus. Hmmm.

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    1. Because in the Gospel According to Bryan, Jesus turns water into beer. And grapes? Do I look like the kind of person that eats fruit for fun? Psssh...

      Delete
    2. Explain this triangle or rectangle love please.
      conscious water saw its master and blushed.
      Bryan lost consciousness and then saw Jesus and blushed, blessed or bruised
      Brandon is making out with beer.

      Who is the winner and which one is happily ever after?

      Delete
    3. We drank good beer, so we all win. But the hangover the next day says that we both lost. In other words, there is no black and white. Only fifty shades of grey. And how is getting sexually beaten by a rich man NOT a happily ever after?

      Delete
  15. She-Ghost Christ, this was a classy blog bit!

    Any story that begins, "It was a dark and stormy night" (rather than, "Once upon a time") is automatically a winner. My first thought was of Snoopy, typing on his doghouse. I mean, typing on his typewriter ON his doghouse!

    And then when that ghost appeared, it looked so much like the ghost in the Charlie Brown 'Great Pumpkin' cartoon that I had Peanuts on the brain. Of course, peanuts always make me think of beer in bars, and that's how I wound up drunk this early in the morning. Well... that's my story and I'm stinking with it. (Wasn't it Charlie Brown himself who dressed up as the ghost in 'The Great Pumpkin'? I know he kept getting rocks instead of candy, but it's been too long since I've watched that show. Still watch the Christmas episode every single December though.)

    Yeah, nuttin' wrong with Upslope.

    Bryan, I would have been howling had you actually been wearing an ascot in the "real" photograph at the brewery. Of course, I would also never be able to talk to you again either (James Dean Wannabes can't pal around with Ascot-Wearing Dorks), so I guess it's better that you weren't.

    >>... What's your favorite beer?

    My favorite beer is always the one I had just before I had the one that was one too many.

    ~ Stephen (James Dean Wannabe)

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    1. You should be happy to know that not only do I not own an ascot, but I actually had to Google its name by typing in 'gay little scarf for men' and weeding through results before I posted this because I didn't remember what it was called.

      No self respecting man should ever own anything that goes around his neck. Scarf. Turtleneck. Cape. All of them a one-way ticket to dorksville.

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    2. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!...

      Going to bed RIGHT NOW!... If I can get the phrase "gay little scarf for men" out of my mind!

      That's classic sh!t!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Big, Man's Man Kind Of Alaskan Husky Husky'

      Delete
  16. Congrats on the tour. By the way, will Keg get a second date?
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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    1. The keg keeps calling, but Brandon won't see her until she refills. No one wants a girl who's empty on the inside.

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  17. It's cool they let you take a tour of the plant like that. I think the explosion of micro/designer beers in America has been a good thing. When you go on holiday you get to try beers that are different from your local ones.

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    1. Especially in Colorado, micro/craft beers are absolutely booming. It's great. In comparison, you can go to a place like Nebraska where all they sell is Coors Light/Bud Light and something like Fat Tire is considered "fancy cityfolk beer." I call that place "Hell."

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  18. Sorry, not a 'nectar if the gods' lover, but I am crazy about Brandon's scary arms.

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    1. What some call "demonic possession" others call "drunken seizures," but hey, I'm no doctor.

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  19. I'm surprised you stopped making out with the beer keg. A man who loves beer wouldn't stop. When you think about it it's one of the best inanimate objects to make out with. It's good to know you weren't actually kicked out and arrested. I'll believe you got severely drunk though.

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    1. Any object that feeds you beer when you drink it is worth making out with.

      And we didn't get severely drunk, if only because we drove ourselves and like never having had a DUI/killing others.

      Delete
  20. Sadly, I will have to take your word about how heavenly Upslope beer is as I can't drink but then it is probably some sick form of self-flagellation that prompts a person with alcohol intolerance (me) to subscribe to a blog with the word beer in the title. Still...as alcohol intolerance usually develops in people in their mid 30's perhaps in time, I will be reading your blog " A diet coke for the shower" or "An iced tea for the shower." I am sure you guys could still make it hilarious.

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    1. You know, for a blog with the word 'beer' in the title this is probably the first beer-specific blog post we've made in years, so don't feel too left out. It's always fun posting about some random topic and having a new reader ask why the hell we're called what we're called.

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  21. Jinkies! I was going to leave a comment but was distracted completely by the Captain America T-shirt . . .

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    1. It cost me $5 at an off-brand store and it's still the greatest t-shirt I've ever owned. Plus, it makes up for that whole ascot thing... well, maybe.

      Delete
  22. Blurred vision sure makes everyone look like a ghost. Been there. ;) Now, get me some beer. I have to say your beer hugging love is contagious.

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    1. Forget "have you hugged your child lately." Have you hugged your beer lately?

      "Thank you, beer, for making me tolerate people and be hilarious and dance better."

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    2. I'd say that better dancing thing is more in the bleary eye of the drunken beholder...

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    3. Oh no, it's pretty much a fact. It also makes me stronger and more handsome. Come on, alcohol wouldn't lie to me.

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  23. It sounds like you guys had a great time, I bet you felt right at home with all that beer :)

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    1. Well, "home" isn't a warehouse with thousands of gallons of beer, but if I had to have a second home... that would definitely make top ten.

      Delete
  24. I just have to say that I was extremely amused by the ghost "face palm". That made me giggle. Oh, and if they don't want drunken fools sloshing clumsily around their brewery and messing up their plans for world beer domination, they shouldn't be giving tours! They could have gotten away with their evil plot if it hadn't been for you meddling kids and your beer-swimming, keg-mauling hijinks!

    Oh, and where was Scooby throughout all of this madcap mayhem? I mean, really, is it even possible for any real hijinks to go down without that wacky, gluttonous dog? Ruh-Roh!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Come on, we all know dogs aren't allowed in breweries where everything can be contaminated so easily. So Scooby had to hang out outside, tied to a tree.

      Unfortunately, though, while we went inside and drank for 4 hours, Scooby stayed out in the arid Colorado sun and died of heat exhaustion.

      RIP Scooby Doo. He died much as he lived, panicking comically. Ruh-roh.

      Delete
  25. I'm not sure if this is a testament to the high quality of low living and craft beers, OR how to have an epiphany. . . faux or not.

    I'm going to send the link to someone I know who is very fond of craft beers.

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    1. Most of our epiphanies related to writing or the blog have come via beer, and I'm not even ashamed to admit that. It's not alcoholism if you learn something in the process.

      Delete
  26. So are you guys gonna get your drunk on for the benefit of your blog more often? I kinda like it, I'm looking forward to this Upslope stuff I've never heard of. All I gotta do is find it..

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    1. We'd definitely do this again. A full tour, some free beer, and more knowledge on how beer is made... you can't beat that.

      Plus, since "beer" is in our title, it's probably only fitting that we actually post about beer once in a while.

      Delete
  27. Sounds like beer heaven with all those ghost angels floating around!

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    1. Every time you drink a Bud Light, an angel loses its wings.

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  28. Never heard of it. I have family in Colorado. Hopefully I cam make it down there one of these summers and I'd check out Upslope. But first, I'd love to do a Coors tour, if they have one. I remember my mom bringing Coors home when she was in Colorado. Back in the 70s, and possibly 80s, they didn't sell Coors anywhere else.

    I get migraines from certain beers, so I try to stay away from wheat beers. We can get pretty good beer here for around 35 cents a bottle and it's potent. One of my favorites is Grafenwalder Pilsner. I also bought some alcohol free beer (I know, you're saying that's not beer), but Becks Blue is a pretty good alcohol free beer.

    When I'm in the States, I have to say Sam Adams and Leinenkugel are my favorites.

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    1. Coors does do tours. I've never been on it, but apparently it's a fun tour. And I haven't tried alcohol free beer but I've tried gluten free beer... and wow that stuff is AWFUL. Alcohol free beer can't possibly be as bad as beer without grains.

      Delete
  29. Thanks for the fun virtual tour of your Upscale adventures. Bethany is a brave, brave woman.

    I always liked the grownass man in an ascot scarf, though I never understood why he never went for Veronica. Thelma, I could understand. But Veronica?

    It sounds disgusting but I did try a very good chocolate beer from somewhere in WA, served at a local brewery that you guys would love. It's really good. I even like their beer, and I *whispering* dislike beer very much.

    xoRobyn

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    1. I just assumed he never went for Veronica because he wore an ascot and a cashmere sweater... he was probably more interested in Shaggy.

      I'd be curious to try this very good chocolate beer, because we've tried many of them and *whispering* each one has been absolutely terrible.

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    2. I'll find out the name of that beer and get back to you. =)

      Delete
  30. The light at the end of the beer bottle might be exactly what you need to achieve this kind of 'classily tasteful'...well done guys on that...I think lol.

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    1. If there's two things we both are, it's classy and tasteful. And if you want to throw in two more, we're also incredibly snappy dressers and compulsive liars.

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  31. I did the Guinness Storehouse Tour in Dublin with a hangover, it was in NO way pretty! So I have nothing but admiration for Brandon's ability to soldier on in the name of beer lovin'.

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    1. Both Bethany and myself were really egging him on to keep up with us, and he took it in stride. Drunken, painful stride. But what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Except liver damage. That will just plain kill you.

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    2. Ah, good old moral support! I was made to wear the "twat hat" and down a "shot of shame" while my support group photographed the occasion. Friends are just the greatest!

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    3. I don't know what a "twat hat" is but I kinda want one for my next drinking occasion... not for myself, but to shame anyone else who can't hang.

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    4. That's pretty much exactly what it was.Whoever was being a dumbass was deemed worthy of the hat until someone else was worse. Since we had to drive straight past and try again later so I could get through the door without blowing chunks my position as the twat was pretty secure...I'm such a class act!

      Delete
  32. Sounds like heaven but the stench of beer making=not for me. The drinking part, however, I have down. I'll have to remember to try to Upslope if I ever come across it, though it seems like a downward spiral into drunken debauchery...on second hand that sounds great.

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    1. Actually, of all the beer tours I've been on, I've never noticed a smell. Everything's always in very tightly sealed containers (to avoid contamination). But I've also been drinking during ALL of those tours so all credibility on my part immediately gets thrown out the window.

      The drinking part, though... yes. The brewery also doubles as a tap room, and you really can't get draft beer any fresher than that.

      Delete
  33. That was fun. Looks and sounds like you had a good time and I'm sure they won't sue you. lol I actually don't drink at all but my husband would probably have loved this tour. The last tour I took was of the Ethel M Chocolate Factory. mmm chocolate.

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    1. We told them we were doing a post and they were happy to be part of it, so no lawsuits. And I'll happily get on board with that chocolate factory tour. So long as it's more "shoving face full of chocolate" and less "Willy Wonka."

      Delete
  34. That drunken, not so haunted tour recap was made even more awesome by the wearing of a cartoon ascot!

    Dogfish Head Festina Peche is my favorite summer beer right about now.

    readavaquinn.blogspot.com
    latest post: AtoZ Challenge My X-Rated List

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    1. Tried a few Dogfish Heads but never the Festina Peche. Sounds interesting though, I like a touch of fruit in beer so long as it's not like beer-flavored Koolaid.

      My current favorite summer beer is any beer in my hand when it gets over 80 degrees.

      Delete
  35. I still have not broken the "beer barrier."

    When I was in elementary school, they did take us on a tour of a sausage factory, though (yeah, yeah, go ahead. I know you want to). We got to see a vat where they were making hogshead cheese. Sometimes things are exactly what they sound like.

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    1. Yes, in fact I do want to make a reference to Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. How many rats did you see go into a single sausage? And what's your favorite part of the sausage, the raccoon anus or the pigeon spleen?

      ...Also, was the trip a real sausage fest or what?

      Delete
  36. Haaaa, very nice! I need to go on a winery tour, but I'm skeptical of my ability to control myself, for sure.

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    1. Just make sure you take the winery tour where you can actually drink the wine. Forget that whole "hold it in your mouth, lightly swirl, then spit it out" bullshit. That's for lightweights.

      Delete
  37. I don't want a beer that makes me see ghosts. I want a beer that makes me see good looking girls. Especially ones that aren't there. And without bad looking ones behind them.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Apparently Bud Light will make you see hot girls. And make you love football. And make Pit Bull rap at your house.

      On second thought, the trade off isn't worth it. Especially if it means drinking Bud Light in the first place.

      Delete
  38. I bet that beer has never known such tender love

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    1. Mine only regret, as I doth drink from its sweet lips... is that soon it will become pee.

      Delete
  39. Tour the Angry Orchard factory and I am right there with you.

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    1. I'm not much for apple cider but I do like alcohol, so...

      Delete
  40. I've heard of sex in the stacks of libraries. But love between stacks of beer makes so much more sense.

    By the way, coming soon... Captain America: The Winter Lager Soldier vs. The Palette Jack of Beer Molester? This movie has to happen.

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    1. This really makes me want to assemble some kind of half-assed D-list beer Avengers. Beervengers. Quick, someone get me some crushed beer cans so we can make a high powered beer suit for eccentric thousandaire Timmy Stork.

      Delete
    2. This gamma-irradiated PBR made me extremely angry, my belly swell to enormous proportions, and my face turn green!

      Oh wait.... that was just regular PBR. Carry on.

      Delete
  41. Uhhmm beeeeeeer. It's so good. One of my personal favorites is Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro. Recently I went on vacation to California and I was totally bummed, they didn't have any beers from Colorado or NM. It was terrible, they had some local brew but it wasn't that good. They must have some no import law, stupid California.

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    1. California has some great breweries. I'd recommend anything from Lagunitas (Sucks is probably the best beer I've ever had) and Ballast Point has an IPA that's amazing. But just be forewarned, they will not be made with that sweet Rocky Mountain snowmelt (TM).*

      *Coors is, and that doesn't really help them, so...

      Delete
    2. Yeah, this was Central California, and all they had was local beer, 805 I think. Mediocre at best. If they would've had Lagunitas I would've killed it. I might be moving out there so I might have to get a hookup up for Colorado/NM beer.

      Also; this post was my favorite kind of post, the exaggerated post, the what would this situation be like if we were even more drunken and idiotic than we really are. And you do it very well.

      Delete
  42. Damn, looks like I missed a good one! May I please come on your next beer tour? You may make me into any kind of character you want - I just want attention, as you may have noticed from prior behavior.
    I've done a LOT of beer tours, but never drunk before. Sounds like a lot of fun. When The Engineer was at The School of Mines (in Golden, where they brew (shudder) Coors beer), he and his buddies would often take the "short tour" and just go to the tasting room...
    Have you toured the Left Hand Brewery in Longmont? They've really expanded. We went to their place when they were first getting started and got the tour from the engineer-turned-brewmaster himself. Now they serve food, draw a crowd, and it's a really good time.
    My favorite beer? It's a tough one. Depends on the occasion, really. Lunch? Guiness. To have a few with friends for a few hours? Fat Tire. To drink at a stadium and not spend a million dollars? You got me there...
    Tina @ Life is Good
    A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2014

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    1. You're on for the next tour if you really want. We've never met another blogger offline. That would be fun.

      I had a friend who used to work at Coors, and they would let you have 1 beer per day, free, during work hours. The only trade off to this, of course, is that you'd have to drink Coors.

      Not worth it.

      Not only did we tour Lefthand but we posted about that one too, once upon a time ago. Engineer turned brewmaster Ro was a really great host and taught us more about brewing beer than our wee brains could ever absorb.

      To have a few with friends? Definitely that Upslope craft lager. To drink at the stadium and not spend a million dollars? Last time I was at Pepsi Center they had both Fat Tire and Dale's Pale Ale, so I couldn't complain about that.*

      *I could definitely complain that they were $8 for a cup, but so was the Coors Light, so...

      Delete
  43. I wish I cared about anything as much as Brandon has a boner for that pallet of beer. When I saw this picture, I couldn't stop thinking about the movie Strange Brew. If you've never seen it, first: LOOK INTO IT. Second, there is a scene where one of the brothers gets stuck INSIDE a beer keg, and realizes he's going to achieve his lifetime dream of drowning in beer. Except THEN he realizes, he's going to DROWN and that's not so cool. So he drinks, and drinks, and drinks, and then THIS happens:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssM4KBRX_Qw

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    1. YES! Not only do I remember that movie, but that particular bit did serve as inspiration for our "I'm drowning in awesomeness." You win so many bonus points for bringing up that movie.

      Delete
  44. You would have got away with that beer too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids....I mean ghosts.

    Glad you had a grand beer tour. Sorry I don't live closer to take advantage of such a wondrous opportunity.

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    1. Whether it's a beer tour, winery tour, whiskey tour... try it some time. It's free, it's fun, and the booze itself is free, too... and plentiful. You can't beat that.

      Delete
  45. What I learned from this post is that Jesus has built breweries in heaven. Hallelujah.

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    1. I've spent my entire life drinking water to be healthy. Therefore the afterlife damn well BETTER be full of overflowing beer.

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  46. My favorite beer is the one in my hand!
    It used to be 1888 Bock by Leinenkugel. They quit making it. Bastards. I like a nice bottle of Moose Drool in the winter and a cold shandy in the summer. I don't drink bud light but I have bought a 30 pack of Hamms and just recently a six pack of Big Rock Beer. Haven't heard of it? Consider yourself lucky. At $2.59 a sixxer it taste like $1.50 a six!

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    1. Neither of us are stranger to Hamms. We've also been known to rock Old Style from time to time. As for Moose Drool, you try the Big Sky IPA? That's pretty damn tasty.

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  47. Laughing because 1. I don't drink (when I did, I liked Red Hook and Guiness, but only if it was on tap) and 2. I just watched an old episode of Inspector Morse where two people were murdered by drowning in vats of beer. Not in Colorado, however.

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    1. Well, take note Internet stalkers, because if anyone wants to murder us, that's the way to do it.

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  48. Maybe you were in Heaven but then you made the angel (tour guide) mad and they kicked you out.

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    1. Hmmm, beer purgatory is a lot like real purgatory, in that there's no beer. This isn't good.

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  49. This is the third time I've tried to comment - I swear I'm not drinking. Maybe it's because I was talking about the not so hidden sexual agenda of the Scooby Gang ... Anyway, I'd love to do a brewery tour just minus the ghosts. They are always ruining the vibe of a pub crawl...As for favourite beer - The James Squire IPA from Australia is my favourite at the moment...

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    1. Mmm, love a good IPA. Make mine a Big Sky IPA or a Lagunitas Sucks (Double IPA). And our blog had better not censor comments. We sure as fuck don't censor ourselves...

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  50. As you know, I don't even drink beer (and I ask myself, for the thousandth time, why do I read this blog, then??) but I would still like a tour of a beer making facility. I love seeing how pretty much anything is made. And I really love when you get the little free samples at the end! Although free samples of beer? Meh. But I'd still drink it, on account of the fact that it's free.

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    1. Well, in all fairness, we only post about beer once in a great Blue Moon (beer pun, see?). The other times we post about non beer related things, which probably helps us retain a bigger, less drunken audience.

      Also, what's this about little free samples? See the pic of ol' Captain America up there... we were chugging full glasses. :)

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  51. That's a scary story - I'm glad it ended in beer!! :)

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    1. Any story, good or bad, should end in beer. "Man, what a great day. Let's have a beer!" Or "Man, what a shitty day. Let's go have a beer."

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  52. I remember taking tours of the brewery at Bush Gardens. They used to give out free samples. My dad would stay there all day.

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    1. Your dad is a wise man. Free beer beats no beer any day of the week.

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  53. hello dear!!
    you have a great blog! Post is very interesting!
    i`m here first time so I wanna to ask you how about follow each other?? Let me know is you start, I always follow back so don`t worry :)
    have a great sunday sweety!
    xoxo from Spain :)
    www.thegrisgirl.blogspot.com.es

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  54. Man, I would so love to do a brewery tour with you guys. I missed being able to do one in Amsterdam last week. --.--

    (I also really liked the cartoon of the ghost tour guide giving itself a face palm. I've never seen a ghost, cartoon or otherwise, do that!)

    -Barb

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    1. Hey, if you're ever in Colorado let's do it. We need more real life guests on our blog. So far... we are at zero. Seems no one blogs and lives in Colorado. Womp womp.

      Maybe we can start a new meme. "Ghost facepalm - knowing you failed so bad that even the spirits of your ancestors are bowing their heads in shame"

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