Monday, January 27, 2014

The Super Awesome Super Bowl Party of Drunken Gluttony

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. It's the day when sweaty, furious, manly behemoth-men concuss one another for the chance of supreme sporting glory. At least until next year. That's right, it's time for the Super Bowl. And along with the Super Bowl comes the legendary Super Bowl Party. And we here at ABftS are nothing if not ready to get our party on. Here're the things we're most looking forward to:

1) Junk food en masse - Because Richard Sherman's mouth isn't the only thing that deserves a heavy hit on Super Bowl Sunday, Brandon and Bryan look forward to treating their hearts to a coronary pummeling too. Because even if you can't cook to save your life, you can definitely fry everything in your fridge with butter and lard and make it into something that tastes good. Bring on the bacon wrapped bacon, bitches!





2) Drinking your weight in beer - Like any good party, the Super Bowl Party demands excessive amounts of alcohol abuse. Which often leads to really fun drinking games, like our personal (childish) favorite, the Penetration Drinking Game.






And rest assured, friends, come Super Bowl Sunday you're not going to be the only overgrown child giggling about "penetration in the backfield" or "penetration by the tight end."

3) The commercials - When asked, most people say they watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. But let's face it, they haven't actually been entertaining since those frogs got taken off the Budweiser payroll. Or sexy.

danica patrick godaddy naked bikini


As straight dudes, we don't say stuff like this. Ever. But please, for the love of God, Danica Patrick, keep your damn clothes on.

So that's what we plan on doing for Super Bowl Sunday. In the end, we know that unless you're Denver or Seattle then you're probably not watching the game itself anyway. But hey, at least you still get to have drunken, gluttonous fun with friends and family, because after all, isn't that what Super Bowl parties are really about?

With that, let's finish things off with our...

ABftS Bonehead of the Week

You probably saw this coming a mile away, but this week we'd like to tip our hats to a meltdown case that's been in the making for the last half decade. Like so many overly ass-kissed young celebrities before him, young Justin Bieber has finally realized that nobody aside from screaming tweens actually gives a shit about him or his "music." And it's sent him spiraling dangerously close to what the rest of us call reality, when he was arrested last week for DUI, drag racing, and resisting arrest.

We here at ABftS have obtained exclusive footage of the police chase leading up to Bieber's arrest.


That's right folks, this little twat was caught drag racing 55 in a 30 mph zone, further proving that even when doing something badass like drag racing in a Lamborghini, Bieber will still find a way to do it like a complete pussy.

So how will you be spending Super Bowl Sunday? Throwing a party? Watching alone? Don't even care? And what the hell is the appeal with Danica Patrick, anyway?

Cheers and stay classy, folks,
-B&B

Beer: Redrum Ale (Estes Park)
Music: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club


98 comments:

  1. We need to send Bieber back to Canada where he belongs.
    Bring on the bad food! Although I will skip the drinking game, as I'd be asleep before the first team scored. And yes, I will watch even though I'm not a Seattle or Denver fan. My team isn't playing, which means I actually get to enjoy the Super Bowl!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I just can't believe sweet natured Canada, inventor of the word "sorry," could have ever produced something so rude.

      And also, that's why I envy you. We're going to be watching on the edge of our seats, stressing out over ever play, ignoring our food and drinks while we pray our team wins... what kind of demented fun is that?

      Delete
  2. It's nice of the NFL to schedule a day of planned ahead day-drinking so soon after the holidays.
    Love the cozy coupe picture. As Zach Braff tweeted, who among us hasn't raced a Lambo down a street in Miami high on pills?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Start drinking at 10 AM Super Bowl morning? We're just getting ready for the biggest game of the year.

      Start drinking at 10 AM any other day of the year? You're an alcoholic. God bless the NFL.

      Delete
  3. Poor Danica - I'd be willing to dress like that for Go-Daddy for whatever they're paying her. I mean, I might look more like a goblin than gollum, but still.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Don't get me wrong, I'd dress up like that for gobs of money also, but I'm just astounded that there are dudes who find her hot. Is it because she's a NASCAR driver, and statistically your typical female NASCAR fan is 300 lbs and has more warts than she has teeth?

      Delete
  4. Brandon, did you disclose to your fiancée that part of the marriage deal is that she has to appear as a character on your blog? And she STILL said yes? Unbelievable.

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    1. To be honest, I think she was a little jealous of Brandon's previous appearances with Broomhilda the Farting Broom, so she practically insisted on being here with us.

      Delete
  5. Yeah, I honestly don't care which team wins. I think I've actually switched from rooting for the Broncos to the Seahawks, but I'm going to keep that a secret among my friends so I can brag about how I knew which team would win the entire time, regardless of who actually wins.

    But, I can't stand when people say they watch only for the commercials. Would these people actually stay up late on a Sunday and watch commercial after commercial even if there wasn't a game? Besides, those commercials play for another 3 months following the Superbowl, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Also, whatever commercial ends up being "the best" will be talked about the entire week after, and will be all over Youtube. So the chance you'll "miss it" by not watching the Super Bowl is almost nonexistent.

      Delete
  6. Has anyone ever really looked into what happened to those Budweiser frogs?

    I mean, if they had been young humans, we'd be seeing mug shots and "Where Are They Now?" episodes.

    But frogs kind of get shuffled off and no one cares.

    Where ARE those damn frogs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Bud" and "Weis" started a shitty Garth Brooks cover band that you can sometimes find in hole-in-the-wall bars around Texas, but "Er" spiraled into a deep depression and drank himself to death. With Budweiser. Oh, the tragic irony.

      Delete
  7. >>... "Here're the things we're most looking forward to:"

    Ooh! "Here're"... nice one, Beer Boys! As a bloke who also loves to make 'em up as I goes along, I appreciate little touches like that. (Didja catch the "Libidiots" in my last post? I was kinda proud o' dat one because, as far as I know, that was a first.)

    Be watchin’, 'cause I'm sure I be stealin’ yer "Here're" and using it on my own blog in the not-too-distant future.

    >>... But let's face it, they haven't actually been entertaining since those frogs got taken off the Budweiser payroll.

    I thank you for that! I've been telling people for well over a decade to just shut-the-phuk-up about the Super Bowl commercials because they haven't been any good in ages! In fact, I think they stopped being good even BEFORE the Budpisser frogs.

    It's just like these Airheadzonans in Phoenix - they're still yakking every year about "the monsoon season". WTF?! Don't these Airheadzonans ever actually look up at the sky? We haven't had a "monsoon season" in ten-friggin'-years or more. To quote from the great (#2 on my ‘Favorites’ list) 1970 movie ‘MONTE WALSH’: "Stop blabbin' about something that ain't anymore!" [In truth, that movie is “the story o’ my life”. Rokndady sez: “The best western ever made...hell, the ONLY western ever made...” Well… close. But what about ‘The Wild Bunch’?]

    >>… Beer: Redrum Ale (Estes Park)

    ‘Redrum Ale’? Great name, but the ale ain’t never been “shining” in my bloodstream (and workin’ my liver over). Why is that? Man, my brew supplier... “sucks”.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dream of a day that one of us has invented a word that becomes a part of everyone's everyday vocabulary. I mean, it worked for William Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll. How hard could it be?

      And all work and no beer makes Bryan go something something.

      Delete
  8. I always thought a Super Bowl was a weed-smoking reference. Turns out its about American Football. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Super Bowl is hosting the two states that legalized weed, so don't count that out just yet.

      Delete
  9. The commercials are really crappy, don't see the big deal in them. I never watch the superbowl any way, nothing about grown men going hand and hand with penetration really appeals to me lol

    And keep Bieber down there,, we don't want him back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on now, you can't seriously be telling me that there's something gay about men in spandex grabbing each other and falling on each other for four hours straight.

      Delete
  10. The only thing I know about the super bowl is that this year they considered putting on Saturday instead. Church numbers might have normalised this year. Maybe even gone up if people felt like confessing. Speaking of confessions, I confess that I laughed heartily at Bieber's arrest. I feel bad for my Canadian brothers though. I hope he doesn't get deported. Canadia deserves better. They gave us Bryan Adams dammit!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Justin Bieber doesn't like hockey, he's incredibly impolite, and he's always hanging out on the beach rather than being in the snow. I truly don't believe he's Canadian. I think he's an imposter.

      Delete
  11. You had me at sweaty behemoth manly men...now what was the rest of this post about?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Something about how even beer goggles can't make a mediocre NASCAR driver look good. I think. I'm too drunk to remember this post. But not drunk enough to want to go home with Danica Patrick.

      Delete
  12. It probably has something to do with the fact that she is the only girl. As long as she has most of her teeth, she's gonna be thought to be hot. I will be watching the game. I've been invited to a party but everyone there are seahawk fans so I don't think I can stand listening to them whine the whole game.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. She may have all of her teeth, but I bet if you bent her over to have "some fun" you'd get splinters in your pelvis. Ugh.

      Delete
  13. I don't look forward to the post-Big Game (you fools, don't you know how letigious the NFL is!?! That's why all ads say Big Game...which I will be trademarking.) where the house turns into a suffocating cloud of beer and bad food farts.
    Personally, I'll be watching in anticipation of Bruno Mars...That's not true, the very thought of Bruno Mars makes me wistful for Janet Jackson's withered old boob.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You don't like Bruno Mars' safe, boring piano rock? Next you're going to tell me that you don't love The Fray.

      Delete
  14. You would think being a woman in a male-dominated sport wouldn't have to resort to stupid crap like that.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "Men need to take me seriously in this sport," she says, while sporting a bikini and craving male attention. Well done, Danica! Now all you need is your own cookbook and you're golden!

      Delete
  15. Although I like the idea of a Sunday party, I don't really watch the Super Bowl. Maybe I should start this year, if only to enhance my alcoholism and for it to be socially acceptable.

    Also, of course Bieber is the bonehead of the week... who else would it be, really?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it's only January, but I pretty much feel like he's already a safe bet for Bonehead of the Year.

      Delete
  16. It's not aired over here, and if there's any good commercials they'll end up on the web anyway, so I'll be spending my Sunday like any old Sunday. (Not denying it includes tears.)
    That Bieber dude is turning into this giant prick. I mean sure, a lot of punks his age do, but they don't make it onto the news (or set a bad example for millions of fans) so that's no big deal.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Well, I'll just be spending my Sunday the same way I always do - stuffing my face and drinking. Calling it a "party" just justifies it for one day. Awww yeah!

      Delete
  17. Boyfriend is from Seattle. I don't think I need to explain how excited he is.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. He's that excited to watch his team get spanked by the Broncos?

      *black girl finger snap*

      Delete
  18. I almost never watch football; I'm from another planet, obviously. So I had never heard of this penetration thing. Now I understand why so many football players are angry and mal-adjusted. That might be football players in those cop cars chasing Bieber. Woh! What if it's Danica Patrick in the car leading them all to GoDaddy.com?

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Now that I think about it, Danica Patrick is kinda built like Justin Bieber. Maybe they've been the same person all along??

      Delete
    2. Okay folks. Spread the rumor and remember you heard it here first!

      Delete
  19. Okay, just a few things:

    1) Your (scarily accurate) cartoon of Danica made me snort and laugh like a buffoon in the middle of a crowded food court. Now everyone knows I'm not some hot young executive out for an important business lunch. I'm just a doofy student with an iPad and a sandwich...

    2) Your reference to the Budweiser frogs made me nostalgic for the good old days when Super Bowl commercials were actually worth watching! Oh, and it made me feel old, so THANKS for that!

    3) I never watch the game. Ever. And I rarely make the effort to watch the commercials anymore. Now that we have YouTube, there's really no point.

    4) I've never understood the whole "Bieber Fever" phenomenon. I always thought he was just some scrawny kid who somehow tricked a bunch of music executives into recording his eardrum-piercing "music." But in later years, he just comes across as a giant, oversized, douchetard of a toddler, demanding attention for doing absolutely nothing. An excellent choice for Bonehead of the Week.

    5) I can't really think of anything else, I just felt this comment needed five bullet points.

    Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. 1) I would have thought the baggy t-shirt and sweat pants would have given that away. That's assuming you go out into public like I do.

      2) That commercial was made in 1995, which was almost 20 years ago. Did that make you feel even older?

      3) I still have a car that was made in 1995, that's older than most kids I see walking around.

      4) If Bieber Fever is anything like Zombie Fever, the only cure is a gallon of holy water and sweet, cleansing fire.

      5) Is a bullet point truly a bullet point if there are no bullet points to be found? I only see numbers...

      Delete
    2. I am super offended that you would just assume that I wear sweatpants out in public! I mean, it's true, but you should never make assumptions like that! Oh, and I'm totally being classy and wearing old jeans with a huge hole in one of the hems right now. Yeah, I'm dressed up all fancy today!

      Also, I own several clothing items that are older than "Bieber Fever." THAT makes me feel old! (And very grateful to have avoided the epidemic. By the time it was upon us, I was too old and full of good taste in music to be taken in.)

      Delete
  20. I dated a guy who brought chili to all parties. Such a dweeb. (The chili wasn't bad, though.) I hate sports and used to only tune into the Superbowl half-time show. Ever since the great clothing malfunction (year? 2003 or so), those are lousy. Alas, you guys give me a reason to watch. It's worth it to play the penetration game. Good one!

    Fantastic photo of Beiber too, that pre-pubescent punk.

    Go Broncos! That one's for you guys, and because Denver's prettier than Seattle.

    xoRobyn

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    1. Lousy? You mean to tell me the Blackeyed Peas put on a lousy half time show? Or Madonaa? Because Madonna did amazingly well for a woman who's been dead for 20 years.

      Delete
  21. PS 2009. I didn't think it was worth checking on that one, but half-time shows will never live down to that one.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I imagine after Bruno Mars flashes us a nipple pasty this year you'll change your tune.

      Delete
  22. My daughter would seriously be all the veggies. Especially, if there are green peppers.
    Staying home and still deciding what to make. No party. Just us.
    And you can't forget Bruno.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Sacha Baron Cohen's going to be there??? Oh wait, you mean the shrimp with the overplayed pop songs. You got my hopes up there.

      Delete
    2. I know, deep down, you are a closet Bruno Mars fan.
      And the Chili Peppers are playing with him. Minus John so I am not sure if it still counts.

      Delete
  23. Is it bad to admit that I totally forgot that the Super Bowl was coming? I've been way to bloody busy lately.... Fun pieces though! Love it, like always!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Trust me, the only reason we even know it exists this early is because our team is in it. Otherwise we would have just remembered it the day before and thrown together some kind of last minute, half assed party. That's just how we roll.

      Delete
  24. I'm hoping to see it but it's on quite late over here that I'm half asleep on a bag of wine gums and then work the next day.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That's about as coherently as we watch it, so no worries there!

      Delete
  25. I just love your posts. Super Bowl usually means mega food at our house. And lots of noise. Sometimes we even watch the game.

    Love your choice for Bonehead of the Week!

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    1. I don't know what it is about the Super Bowl, but it always makes people want to cook insane levels of awesome food. Which I'm more than okay with. There's also a football game? Yeah, that's cool too, I guess.

      Delete
  26. The racing lady took her clothes off? What?
    Weird things happen when I'm not paying attention. I think I'm glad I miss most of that stuff.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. She's been doing that for like the past 4-5 Super Bowls. Honestly I wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't for the fact that she has a body like a 12 year old boy and a face you could use to chisel diamonds.

      Delete
  27. The best part is go to a friends house and eat all their food and drink all of their beer

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Any other time I do that, I'm an asshole. Do that on the Super Bowl and I'm just "being a good friend." Brilliant!

      Delete
  28. I forgot it was even coming. Now all i will think of is your penetration game

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you can never forget when penetration is coming...

      Delete
  29. I agree with the fact that there has been fewer good commercials since the frogs vanished but maybe now that the company is owned by InBev frogs are verboten. Was there ever a frog related plague in Belgium???

    I am curious about the chili recipe? Does it taste like dog food because that is the primary ingredient or is it just a coincidence?

    I love the picture of Bieber's drag race. That was rather funny that he was drag racing at 55 miles an hour. We can't even take him seriously as a little dirt bag.

    Have fun at your party...



    ReplyDelete
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    1. I don't like to brag, but my chili (green chile) is pretty good. But invariably someone always has to bring that really stale looking red chili, the one that's just hamburger and red sauce mushed together, which has turned this sickly brown and looks like dog food. I present for your consideration...

      Someone's chili

      Dog food

      Can you tell the difference? I sure can't. And yes, I now question whether I've eaten heated up dog food before at someone's random house party...

      Delete
  30. Oooo... sounds like you guys are total Super Bowl gurus... quite the title. :)

    I seriously get giddy when I see a new post from you guys--makes me want to get on ol' blogosphere more often. I need to go catch up on the brilliance I missed below.

    And I unfortunately am in the category of "I don't care..." but I know how to fake it REALLY well when the opportunity presents itself! Goooooo Football!!!! (See? Convincing. I KNOW.)

    Poor veggie tray...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't feel sorry for the veggie tray. Whoever thought of the veggie tray was a lazy dick.

      "I know, let's make a huge platter full of celery and carrots with a generic ranch sauce, and charge $10 for it."

      How about some seasonings? you ask. Or how about some other vegetables? Maybe some of them can be cooked and coated in something delicious?

      No, says the veggie tray. Just plain celery and carrots. You know why? Because kiss my ass.

      The veggie tray is the asshole of the food world and everyone needs to know it.

      Delete
  31. No superbowl for me, but then again, not really into it anyways. I don't get the Danika Patrick thing either - why in the world would I want to see her without clothes? Not that I don't appreciate a well built chick naked, but why her? Also - Go Daddy, you're coming off as an old ass creeper uncle. Stop it.

    Enjoy your party!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For being a major hosting provider on the Internet, GoDaddy really doesn't seem to realize that the Internet is rife with porn. And if dudes want to see naked chicks they can, easily. Naked chicks that don't look like a corpse on day 7 of decomposition.

      Delete
  32. We don't have the super bowl here but fun fact before I had any proper grasp on English I thought the super bowl was a super bowl. You know a bowl with a cape...I was just wondering if we finally had urn out of super heros...awh the days before googling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most years, I think a flying bowl with a cape would be more interesting than the games I've watched.

      Delete
  33. Love it! There hasn't been hilarious commercials, or a great halftime performance in years. Where's Timberlake when you need him?

    I always loved watching the Super Bowl. Football is my FAVORITE sport. Since I live in Germany now, I think I'll pass on staying up for it. But if it was Da Bears, then I'd be up all night whooping it up and taking off my shirt. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where's Timberlake? Making million dollar records and putting on concerts for millions of screaming fans. I think he's doing okay without the Super Bowl.

      Also, as long as you have Jay "doublechin" Cutler at the reins, it may be a few years before that shirt of yours comes off in celebration.

      Delete
  34. I'm pulling for the Broncos to win. They are my brother's team. Another great game would be to drink when Peyton says "Omaha." You'll be shitfaced before you know it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At 2 drinks per offensive play, that equates to full blown alcohol poisoning by the end of the first quarter, and everyone having to ask how the game ended from the emergency room.

      Delete
  35. HAHAHA I wish Danika would just go away. I'll be rooting for Denver because, well, he's a Manning. If my Man (ning) can't be in it then I'll just keep it in the family!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We wish Danica would just go away too, if only because she has the body of a Man(ning).

      Delete
  36. My understanding of the Superbowl comes from any American sitcom form the mid 90s. Basically, Friends and possibly Home Improvement...still the drinking game sounds like fun and it may make the sports sporting sports lots of fun. (Side note: I don't mind sports but I have no idea about the Superbowl...rugby, yes...) I do remember the Frog commercial even though we don't really get Budweiser over here.

    As for Bieber - I think the wise thing is to deposit him in some form of no man's land...I'm sure Canada doesn't want him back... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't get Bud over there? What magical land is this where pisswater doesn't exist?

      You're lucky. I wish we had rugby over here. That would be so much more entertaining to watch than baseball (if you can hit the ball one out of three times you're a god) or basketball (back and forth scoring for 3 hours, just to see who can score more. Defense - what's that?).

      Delete
  37. Love the drinking games, and the line about the model without an ass! Oh, and the drag racing pic was priceless! Enjoy the Super Bowl B & B!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! But remember, she's not a model. She's a mediocre NASCAR driver. She just wants to be a model. And is failing very hard at it.

      Delete
  38. I'm probably not gonna spend it watching the super bowl like I always do. It's tons of fun, really.

    I also didn't know those Bieber details and I really, really hope they're true. Just so I can feel snobby when I say I never liked him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Miami Police Department already confirmed the charges and Bieber owned up to it because he, like, wants to be cool like all the rap stars, so yes, it's true, and yes, you're a better person for never having liked him. As are we all.

      Delete
  39. The "Bieber chase" pic cracked me up! I loved seeing the headline about how his interest in being like some rapper inspired the drug use. Right. By that line of logic, should my interest in Madonna make me an overexposed slut? (Don't answer that...)

    I'm not a football fan but it sure clears the streets and the stores, so keep it up, guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thought of Madonna still slutting it up while looking like a 2,000 year old corpse is great while I'm eating breakfast. So, you know, thanks for that.

      Delete
  40. I can't believe you guys sent Bieber back to Canada.

    Keep him! We don't want him here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's the thing, though. We don't want him either. Maybe Afghanistan wants him? Or Syria? He'd probably be treated, uh, well there.

      Delete
  41. This just in...a petition has been filed to the White House to send Beiber back from whence he came!

    Football is being ruined by the cash cow running the league. I'm watching the game of course...gotta have my brain washed with all the commercials telling me to spend money I don't have on useless shit.

    Go Broncos! <--- says every Colts fan out there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just like how the word "Super Bowl" is trademarked, and even after paying $5 million dollars for a commercial, they still can't call it a Super Bowl commercial. They have to call it a "Big Game" commercial.

      I'd be an angry hipster and protest or something, but I kinda want to see Peyton smash Seattle, so... go Broncos!

      Delete
  42. I think you've summed up the Superbowl quite well!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I watch the commercials for the football game. And so I can get totally loaded in public and it is socially accepted… nay, demanded. Go Red Sox!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But my football team is going to be in the Super Game this year, and I'm hoping they score a ton of touchpoints and field kicks! Is this how I football?

      Delete
  44. Replies
    1. I've done the math, and I'm pretty sure an angry horse can just stomp a small bird to death. It's pretty much infallible.

      Delete
  45. A friend of mine in Ontario knew Justin Bieber way back when; he was friends with her son. When his first movie came out, she talked about how much he lied in it. And what the hell kinda' name is Bieber, anyway? Sounds like a noise a crazed muppet would make.

    I'll be at a Superbowl party with a bunch of friends in which the serious watchers will be in one room (my hubby being one), and the rests of us will be in the bar of the house. It should be fun!

    The Warrior Muse

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    Replies
    1. God have mercy on anyone who ever had the misfortune of knowing Biebs. Remember when he was just a dorky kid doing Youtube videos? He needs to be that again.

      Also, separate rooms... I like that. Nothing's worse than being stuck in a room with the overeager fans while you're just trying to enjoy getting drunk in peace. Or, since the Broncos are in this year, I guess I'll be that belligerent, jumping-up-and-down asshole. And God help anyone who's around me when we score/give up a touchdown.

      Delete
  46. Only thing I know about super bowl is the really cute puppy ad I saw on FB today but any excuse for a day of eating jnk food and drinking games is a good day.
    Have fun
    (one day I will make it into the black zone on the comments lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're in comment limbo now, Mynx, where only we can find you. But stick around, it's pretty nice in comment limbo. Plenty of beers, but no Puppy Bowls here. The lonely women who watch all 4 hours of that make me sad for humanity.

      Delete
  47. More Danica Patrick jokes, less Danica Patrick! Those had me laughing out loud. Every time I see her I'm going to think "Gollum."

    This was awesome, as always.

    I will be spending my Super Bowl Sunday hoping... nay PRAYING that I can convince Mr F and Mr Bunches they would like to watch football on the TV, instead of "Toy Story" or "Hercules," both of which we have watched 17,623,500 times already today. Things aren't looking good: this morning I said to Mr Bunches "and tonight we will watch football!"

    To which he replied "No, not football. I think Hercules."

    But I also have pizza rolls! Delicious little pockets of pizza that you can eat and swallow before guilt sets in. With REGULAR pizza, I'll be on my 5th or 6th (pizza, not slice) and the time it takes to chew and swallow sometimes gives my mind the interval it needs to say "Perhaps this is why you constantly have chest pains and wheeze just turning on the faucet." But with pizza rolls, you can get through, like 50 before even having to take a breath.

    That paragraph makes me sound terrible, doesn't it? Tough. I wanted pizza rolls for Xmas dinner, only to get outvoted by Sweetie (stupid democracy) because she wanted something "Not white trashy" for our guests, who were only our kids anyway and who know what to expect from a guy who once put licorice into a beer stein as a centerpiece. So I've been waiting OVER A MONTH and it's time to feed the beast.

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  48. I'm So jealous we don't have any sports in England that you can play the penetration game with. I suppose w e could play it with porn but it's harder to do in a group. Probably xx

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  49. Sorry for the late reply concerning your Super Bowl post. I give you my condolences over the game's results and the heavy hangover that must have followed after having participated in the drinking game. (Surely the drunken state would have numbed the blow from the disappointing outcome?)

    -Barb

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  50. How have I missed three weeks?!

    Anyhoo, I did not attend a superbowl party,, because I figure, as long as I'm single, I don't have to and I'm not gonna! I did watch me some puppy bowl, though. Now THAT is some good stuff!

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