Monday, January 13, 2014

Colorado Gets All Potted Up On The Weed

It's been over a week since the greenest of Colorado state laws was passed and no matter where you look it seems that legalized marijuana has cast a pungent cloud of controversy over local and national news stories. People here cannot stop talking about it. And it leaves us to wonder why legal weed is such a blazing hot topic. Trust us, it's really not that big of a deal. Honestly, nothing has changed. It's no easier or harder to lay one's hands on some sticky icky here in the Mile High City, and here's a few reasons why.

1. How hard has it ever been to get weed?

We are two dorky white guys from suburbia who do not smoke, and yet we guarantee you that if either of us had wanted to smoke when pot was still illegal we could find it. Easily.








But really, weed was never hard to find or in short supply, and this is from two guys who have never even actively looked for it.

2. Before recreational use was legal, medical marijuana was legal here, and it's legal in quite a few states now. And doctors, or should I say "doctors," would hand these cards out like candy. No, really.

Both of us have heard countless stories of certain doctors in the Denver area who would pretty much give you a medical marijuana red card if you walked in and said you get headaches a lot. Or an upset tummy. Or you're depressed and life is hard.

One of our friends (who shall remain nameless) went in for a 'consultation' with one of these doctors. The "doctor" gathered everyone in a group, asked, "So you guys all have headaches, right?" and then handed out red cards like the Oprah of medicinal marijuana, allowing them to buy marijuana at medicinal shops as they pleased.


And so really, in a sense, even legal weed has been around for a while. And easily accessible.

3. Who were the people that actually got caught smoking pot before it was legal?

Seriously, unless you were a dumbass smoking a joint in the middle of a busy playground, we don't know a single person who ever got caught smoking this.

4. What is the news waiting for?

With bated breath, it seems as if the news is waiting for something to happen. Anything. But what's the worst that could happen to someone that smokes marijuana? Are they expecting an overdose? Death?


*thanks Mayor Gia for turning us onto the 'potted up on weed' reference.

Which brings us to our Bonehead of the Week... this dude.


We don't want to get sued so we aren't putting up the news clip, but there was an interview with a local man who'd just spent $600 on an ounce (the legal limit) of "top shelf" weed and was so insanely proud of it.

So... who thinks $600 for an ounce is a good deal? Neither of us know much about weed, but one thing we do know is that $600 is insane. I mean, if someone was bragging about this back when it was illegal, he'd look like an idiot.






So if you ask us the question isn't so much "what are the dangers of legalizing weed?" as it is "who the fuck has $600 lying around just to blow on pot?" Which is why this guy easily wins Bonehead of the Week.

What do you think? Is legalizing marijuana a danger to society, or a step in the right direction, or, like us, do you just not give a shit since, let's face it, it's already been around for ages?

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
B&B

Music: Metz
Beer: Ballast Point Sculpin IPA

123 comments:

  1. Is this leading to a post on farting cats? Should I be worried?
    I'm really clueless because I'd have no idea where to go for the stuff.
    And I can think of a lot of things better to spend six hundred dollars on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn't even spend $600 on food. Or top shelf liquor. I once spent $600 getting a crown at the dentist and almost cried. And I NEEDED that.

      On the brighter note, Farting Cats: The Musical is going to take next week by storm.

      Delete
  2. I haven't been paying attention to the news much so I haven't seen, can you tell me how many people have experienced "reefer madness"? People flinging themselves out of windows and minorities raping white women, that's rampant in Colorado now, right?
    This is absolutely a step in the right direction, if for no other reason than if weed is legalized everywhere, half-assed keystone cops won't be able to get their jollies busting Willie Nelson for shockingly having pot on his tour bus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Reefer madness" hasn't yet hit but "syphilitic insanity" is going around at the moment, I hear.

      And yes, I can't help but feel when it comes to crime that we have bigger fish to fry than Willie Nelson or Snoop Dogg/Lion/Lion Dogg/Corn Dogg/whatever he's calling himself now smoking out their tour buses.

      Delete
  3. I was thinking 'For $600 I want something with motivation, some stimulants, not to be more tired.' Cheetos already taste pretty good.
    Incidentally, I just saw a picture of Colorado's 420 milemarker, which according to this picture was changed to read "419.999" because people kept stealing the sign. No idea if it's true, it entertained me either way, and I was even potted up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For $600 it should be better than sex. Because I'm sure as hell not paying $600 for sex.

      According to the news that mile marker replacement is a very real thing. And yet, now that it's changed I have a feeling people might still want to steal the only 419.999 mile marker in all of the US...

      Delete
  4. I'm an expert on farting cats too. Although about Pot, I don't really care. Hell I could tell you 4 or 5 people off the top of my head that sale it here. No matter how long its been around I really doubt it will ever be legal in KY. People here are just plain weird. I actually live in a county that refuses to sale alcohol. I can just imagine what legalized marijuana would do to the people who run my town.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait, wait, let me guess. You live in a dry county but probably have easy access to the world's most dangerous moonshine at any given moment, right? This is kind of the same thing with weed.

      Delete
  5. I was a pothead in High School, but no longer smoke due to the paranoia. We'd smoke and go to the mall, and I'd be the one that was nervous that the rent-a-cops would detain me for "looking high".

    I don't think there's anything wrong with legalizing weed. It'll cut down expenses on the "drug war". I know plenty of people who smoke, but it's the people that can't even enjoy a moment sober that kind of get to me. I have a friend (who also shall remain nameless) who gets high every other hour of the day and goes on these long winded tangents of all of his aspirations he hopes to one day achieve, and then he goes back to playing video games until he passes out on the coach (he doesn't work).

    I, for one, am in support of legalizing pot, even though I don't smoke it. It'll definitely suck for drug dealers, but I think it'll work wonders for the economy. Also, cops can actually dedicate their time to doing some good; bah, just kidding, they'll still make everyone's life a living hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to live in a world where anyone's afraid of Paul Blart the fat, Segway riding Mall Cop. That's just not right.

      On its first week (not first day, week) of sales, lines were as long as three city blocks, in the freezing cold, just to buy the stuff. We saw it everywhere. The weed they sell is overpriced and they tax the shit out of it, but people are still willing to buy it. I can only imagine how much money is being raked in. If that doesn't help our economy, I don't know what will. Maybe police will just have to keep giving out more tickets for going 3 mph over the speed limit. Nah, just kidding, they'll do that anyway, but it won't really help anything.

      Delete
  6. The people who get caught (or GOT caught, in the case of your State) with pot possession are the people the cops are insanely mad at.

    Like, say, cops raid your house thinking you robbed a bank, but you hid the money already and all they can find IS... weed.

    Or a cop pulls you over and you laugh at his sunglasses. He gets pissed and searches your car and finds... weed.

    Or you are a mayor who doesn't endorse the governor's re-election campaign and his overzealous staff decides to cause your city some problems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry about the police, Katy. They can still place that big brick of cocaine on someone, the one they have hidden in their trunk, for when "emergencies" like this come up. They'll still manage to get by, those crafty police.

      Delete
  7. I think if the news is waiting for someone to die from smoking weed they could be waiting quite a while. I don't think I've ever really seen any news about someone dying of a pot overdose. I'm not a smoker and never really plan to be, but even I don't see the point in the demonization of weed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Current fatalities are zero, but that could change at any moment now that Colorado is a shambling mess of intoxicated zombies.

      Delete
  8. Daisy and I went to McDonalds one night and we ate inside. They (sadly) keep Fox News on their little TVs (no sound thankfully) and I saw Bill O'Reilly freak out over it. Though give it a year or two and nobody will care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think if Bill O'Reilly hates it, that's an automatic sign that it's not only okay, we all should be doing it. BRB, going to go buy legal weed and get insanely high. Just to spite Bill O'Reilly.

      Delete
  9. Well, I DEFINITELY believe that pot should not only be illegal but that severe prison sentences should be handed down to anyone caught selling or using it. Why? Because a U.S. Government “official expert” on marijuana has testified in a court of law that just two puffs on a marijuana cigarette can turn a person into a bat that flies around the room for fifteen minutes.

    You think I’m joking, right? WRONG! Professor James Munch testified to this fact in a Newark, New Jersey court of law during one of the marijuana-related murder trials of the late 1930s and early ‘40s. [See chapter 5, ‘Civil Liberties And Personal Freedom’ in Ron Paul’s 2008 book ‘THE REVOLUTION: A Manifesto’.]

    Although Professor Munch’s testimony has made me a staunch anti-pot activist, below is a link to my favorite pot-related song.

    “Pot’s too good... to be just... for the yuuuuung!”

    ‘COMMERCIAL’ by Spanky And Our Gang

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Bat Society’

    POSTSCRIPT:
    Ballast Point 'Sculpin IPA', on the other hand, should be very, Very, VERY legal! (It don't make bats out of people... although some do fly high on the stuffs.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I drank some Sculpin last night and only 30 minutes after drinking it I turned into a bat. Worst of all, I got trapped in the corner of the room and couldn't get out of the house until the wife used a broom to knock me down. Let me know if you have the number for James Buttmunch. I may want to hire him to help me sue.

      Delete
    2. "It turned me into a NEWT! (I got better...)"

      Delete
    3. BLUZDUDE ~
      HA! Great addition. (The classic lines never go out of style and are so versatile.)

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  10. Well as a seasoned smoker, I am all for the legalization. My number one argument has always been and always will be "Alcohol is more dangerous than weed and it's legal."

    And yes, $600 for an OZ is insane. $100 is the average price, at least in my neck of the woods.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is funny to hear all of the people on the news ask if people are going to run rampant with weed and just never stop smoking and lose their jobs and their families, etc... when you could say the very same thing about alcohol. And somehow, someway... we're able to survive.

      Delete
  11. Just in case you are still wondering. 600$ is way over priced. I do not smoke. I do help white people find this stuff, and other stuffs that i don't do. For free i might add.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Around here they're charging about $100 an ounce at the medicinal shops (which you still need a red card to shop at) and about $200 an ounce on average at the legal shops. For $600, it had better kiss me and tell me I'm pretty.

      Also, we white people need all the help we can get, so from a clueless white guy - thank you, Johnny.

      Delete
  12. I'm of the "don't give a shit" mentality. It's not something I do, it's not affecting me so I'm just going to hang with my buddy ignorance and be happy. NY is talking about doing this as well, which puts NJ all up in arms since we're right here. Seriously, who cares?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since we don't smoke, that's our general view, too. It's not affecting me, it's making a shit load of money in taxes, and it's one less thing the police have to worry about. Apparently not having to bust marijuana related offenses has already saved the state millions. I don't see a downside to this.

      Delete
  13. Just in case you are still wondering. 600$ is way over priced. I do not smoke. I do help white people find this stuff, and other stuffs that i don't do. For free i might add.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't tell if this posted twice or I'm just insanely high.*

      *not from smoking, but from the city-wide contact high everyone else in Denver is experiencing right now

      Delete
  14. I read over here that there had been 37 fatal overdoses already?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Make it 38 after tonight. I'm gonna smoke until my head explodes.*

      *This is what happens. Your head literally explodes from all of the built up smoke. It's just science.

      Delete
  15. Frankly, I reckon we should legalise all drugs and narcotics. Not in some sort of gen x "fuck the man, let's all get high" kind of way, but more from a social standpoint.

    Illegalisation of drugs has lead to situations where people are getting into serious trouble outside of the law. People end up owing money to drug dealers. Addicts purchase low quality drugs (often cut with even more dangerous substances), get into debt with their dealer because of the sky-high prices (inflated because the stuff is illegal and not exactly like gold dust), and end up stealing to fund their habit. Theft and violent crime are pushed higher by the social situations created with illegal drugs.

    Now imagine that all drugs were legal and available in a properly licensed pharmacy. People would purchase product that was subject to government guidelines (so no added bleach and asbestos), wouldn't get into debt with gangsters, and it would also provide some nice tax revenue for the government. Basically, the government could control it a lot better than it can at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget the cartels, too. Without a business model, they'd have to go back to actually working. Or, I guess, they'd just murder a lot more. I don't actually know anything about the cartel.

      I dream of a day I can walk into my local Walgreens and pick up some medical cocaine. It's for my allergies, of course.

      Delete
  16. haha 600 dollars for catnip and fart dust, hmmm do farts give off dust?

    I really don't give a shit as like you say its been around forever, if someone wants it they are going to get it. And the dumbasses who get caught smoking it are generally dumbasses to begin with and are the idiots who rob liquor stores and leave their id on the counter. So no big difference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear old people fart dust, but I've not mustered up enough courage to actually go near an old person. They smell weird and I don't like being around them and they make me uncomfortable. Kind of like farts, I guess.

      Delete
  17. Not to sound like an expert, but medical-grade marijuana isn't as potent (at least in regards to THC content, the stuff that gives the high) as "regular" weed. For medical stuff it's all about the cannabinoids.
    And even if it was readily accessibly through dealers and such, at least now you don't have to take the risk of being shanked because you're two pennies short, and the state can catch some nice tax dollahs.
    I really do not see the harm in legalization, because I do not see the harm in the drug when used responsibly. Sure if you 420-blaze-it all day every day then you're going to turn into one of those good-for-nothing potheads, because the stuff's for relaxing, not getting shit done. But, as with alcohol, if you just do it every saturday night and stay responsible (ie don't drive and whatever), then good times will be had by all. Weird how much controversy weed brings, seeing as how it's just another soft-drug, like alcohol. People are just uptight and scared and buy into the fear-mongering campaigns way too easily I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Medical grade marijuana CAN be as potent as regular weed, though. Sometimes even more so. Shops carry all different kinds for different needs. I know this because a lot of people I know have these cards and use them frequently. You know, cuz of those headaches.

      Also, if you get a card, instead of buying from shops you can legally opt to grow your own, meaning you can grow the most THC potent monster pot you've ever smoked. If you so choose.

      Delete
  18. I'm pretty indifferent to the whole pot thing, but I am 100 percent serious about this: Are you really going to produce Farting Cats: The Musical next week, or was that a cruel joke resulting from you fellows being all potted up on weed?

    p.s. I have a farting cat. As you'd expect, it's both disgusting and funny. Not to mention convenient! ("Gross, the cat farted again...")

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry to disappoint but we don't do musicals, so next week probably won't happen. Also, we were just kidding, but... cats fart? That's a real thing? I thought it was like the whole women farting thing. People joke about it, but I have yet to see it actually happen.

      Delete
  19. I honestly don't care. It doesn't effect me either way since I don't do it. Granted, I know people who do. Apparently, the only people who ever work in a restaurant do it, since they'e never drug tested. Everyone just assumed I did when I started working there and I was like, "No thanks. You have fun.. over there. Away from me." They're all pretty happy (duh) and planning to move to Colorado.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No wonder people are having such trouble customizing my order, per last week's post. They're all potted up on weed.

      Delete
  20. I actually like the fact that they're taxing it and trying to gather money from it for positive impact. At least, this is what I've been told, I have not seen this in action. Otherwise I don't think it matters much yet, no.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is what we've heard, that they're taxing the shit out of it. So if our schools don't improve and our roads aren't any better come next year, I'm gonna have to wonder where all that money went. They made millions of dollars the first day alone.

      Delete
  21. If they're charging $600 per oz, I don't think the drug dealers will be going out of business anytime soon... prices like that encourage black market sales, if you ask me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Average prices, from what I hear, are $200 an ounce. So this guy is a special kind of idiot to find a shop actually charging $600... and buy it.

      Delete
  22. I lost track at how many times I laughed while reading this... you guys are the funniest people I've come across in like... ever. I loved the names "Skinnybones and Beave" cuz they reminded me of "Skinny Pete and Badger" on Breaking Bad. Too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And after the fact that you picked up on our subtle nod to Breaking Bad (best show ever), I daresay you may now be our favorite reader. Other readers, feel free to fight to the death over this mundane title.

      Delete
    2. Yesssss... I've always wanted a mundane title! Bucket list for 2014 complete. ;-)

      Worthy of fighting to the death.

      And I have to say there are only a handful (?) of blogs that I ever revisit/re-read. You guys are one of them. Now to come up with a mundane title for that...

      Delete
    3. We don't revisit many blogs either, but we're fortunate that our commenters are pretty damn awesome and are willing to go above and beyond "cool story, bro."

      Also, we would bestow upon you the honorary title of Most Frequent Visitor, but that honor belongs to the Chinese spammers trying to jack our traffic and sell third world textbooks. If you can fight them to the death and ensure their agonizing demise, then we'd be happy to hand that title over to you.

      I mean, how hard could it be to beat up a couple of 12 year old Chinese kids?

      Delete
  23. Damn, for $600 a person could buy a one way ticket to Amsterdam and the average cost for a gram of cannabis in a coffee shop is around $8.00- 10.00 and most prostitutes charge $50.00. (I could tell you what you get for that but it would give your comment section a R rating) BTW..I have never smoked pot...just was curious when I was there and asked questions.

    The real problem seems to be the inconsistencies between the states. As you and everyone else in America probably know...Kansas is the most back-ass-ward state in the nation as far as drug laws go. A single gram on a first offense will get you a $1000.00 fine and up to a year in jail. A second office you could do some real time behind bars.

    Which brings me to a story that appeared in the KC Star on January 9. A man out of Salina has started a van that runs on weekends to Denver. For $420.00 you go to a dispensary and grow site. It includes an overnight stay before returning to Kansas. The business is called UberDank. The article didn't say if the Kansas State Patrol is waiting at the border for the return trip.

    Whether marijuana is legal or not..everyone is going to try to figure out how to make a profit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We don't smoke either but we still had to do some research for this post, which was pretty well worth it even just to satiate curiosity.

      BTW, this blog, its comments, and the people that fill it are all rated R, so I'm not sure what the problem is. What CAN you get for $50? I don't know much about prostitutes, but I don't think $50 would get you a lot here. Or a 'high quality lady', for that matter. Or even a lady at all?

      Delete
    2. Well..since you asked...There $50.00 gets you the basic (and this is what they call it ...I am not making this up) Suck and F***. I was shocked to see how pretty and sweet looking the girls in the windows were. They look like any young college girl (but with hardly any clothes on) I was talking to a friend that was a bit more in the "know" on how it works and I find it pretty interesting how it works. You can pay an extra $50 and upgrade to more time and/or other services...or maybe variations of the basic service.

      Delete
    3. Ha! Thank you for having the cojones to come back and answer this. You are a rock star.

      Mmm, the suck n' f***, a good old fashioned combination of mouth herpes AND genital. It's like a BOGO of the sex trade world!

      I had a friend in college* who went to Amsterdam and told me about how he felt compelled to spend some money on some of these girls because the price is incredibly cheap and they're quite pretty. Comparatively, if he wanted to pay for sex here he'd have to spend $200-300 and they "never look like the pictures." This was 7 years ago, so no idea what current prices are on the vaginal NASDAQ.

      *I use the term friend loosely. Guy was nice enough to me but kind of a creep with women. As if the story above wasn't proof of that though, right?

      Delete
  24. OOPs..I meant 2nd offense not office...I really should proofread before hitting the send button, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or maybe someone's been hitching a ride on the UberDank Express...

      Delete
  25. Legalizing marijuana is the least of our country's problems. I love how it made top shelf with government. They're probably smoking the shit themselves by the way they run things. BTW, I like the new blog setup.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know if I actually believe it to be 'top shelf,' but as long as someone says something is high quality (and someone else stupidly buys it) they can charge pretty much whatever they want, can't they?

      Delete
  26. what next the legalising of murdur?

    As for the post, you're getting a thumbs up! You're getting a thumbs up? Everyone's getting a thumbs up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be careful, there's a gifting tax on all of those thumbs up and in the end we'll only be able to accept about one and a half. :(

      Delete
  27. That dude *seriously* got gypped.

    Back in the Netherlands, my friend purchased a little over 1 gram of weed (5 grams, or roughly 0.17 ounces is the limit you're allowed to carry over there) for the price of 10 Euros, and it had some fancy name like Purple Haze or Fog or something. :P

    -Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, well, around here there's this guy named Tito that'll sell you a full ounce for $10, and once you pick through the dirt and branches and dead bugs it's practically smokeable.

      Delete
  28. For me it's all about society controlling what people can and cannot do. I want the government to leave me the hell alone and let me do what I want. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else, what right do people have to tell me how to live my life?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just amazing to say that we live in a generation where we can one day tell our kids and grandkids that people used to actually get thrown in jail just for using marijuana. Like prohibition, really. I can't wrap my head around the thought of people getting arrested for drinking alcohol, but it happened. Then again, it used to be illegal to fart in public in ancient Rome, so I guess we've come a long way as a people, haven't we?

      Delete
    2. Yes guys, we have. But of course we should have since we have planes, trains and automobiles now. Sometimes I don't whether I'm coming or going. Maybe I'll just have drink, a smoke and fart since all these are legal now. Whopee!

      Delete
  29. Good for Colorado. Of course, someone will always find a way to spend a lot of money on top shelf something. It's cheaper than a mid-life crisis car, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Mid-life crisis pot - come smoke away your worries and your receding hairline!"

      This needs to be a business. NOW.

      Delete
  30. So...if Oprah's been handing out free Cheetos, why is it that I don't have any? Am I on her "bad list"? Because that is actually something that would make me VERY afraid. She's got people in her payroll. Really sketchy people...

    I, personally, don't give a crap about this whole legal marijuana thing. The way I see it, the people who really want to smoke weed won't have any problems with obtaining it, and making it legal will only ensure that the stuff they're buying contains less cyanide and/or dandelion leaves. And seriously, think about it: If the US Government just levied a nice big tax on every ounce of legal weed sold, they could pay off our National Debt by the year 2020. Jus think if they did the same thing for coffee and beer...! Oops...I may have said too much here.

    PS: Wearing a Cosby sweater with the words "Thug Life" stitched across the front just might be the most blatant oxymoron I've seen on the internet. Well done, and peace out, my homies! Word! And Yo' Mama...and all that thuggish stuff...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're jesting about my sweater because I think we all know that Bill Cosby is the original (O.G.) thug. You really think Curtis Jackson III, or "50 Cent" as he likes to call himself, would be where he is today without the Cosby?

      And what you said is pretty much the whole point of this post. Weed has always been around. Weed will always be around. Why not just tax the shit out of it and pull in some much needed money for the state? It's kind of like the lotto. Some people think it's an immoral act of gambling. Others, like me, think it's the "idiot tax."

      Because if you think you actually stand a chance of winning $100,000,000 and feel compelled spend your hard earned money toward something that's less likely to occur than getting struck by lightning, then please, let that money go toward better roads and better schools. God knows they wouldn't have spent it on anything better if they could only do simple math.

      Delete
    2. Yo gangstas! Eat more of the pud--ding and the Jell-O, Bitches!

      (Spoken in a particularly bad impersonation of Bill Cosby's voice...)

      Delete
  31. Wow. $125 a quarter. The worst I ever paid in those long ago days was half that. But it won't hurt anybody...yeah, right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eh, I think of it like alcohol and cigarettes. If you want to drink yourself retarded, so be it. If you want to smoke until your throat falls out, so be it. Chances are good that I can't stop someone from doing that any more than I can stop them from smoking themselves retarded with weed, because if people want to do it, they're going to. Warnings be damned. But better to keep it legalized than leave it in the hands of the cartel and John Q. Bumfuck the homegrower making third world pot in his mother's spare bedroom closet.

      Delete
  32. You make many good points and evoked hearty laughter on my part. I'd be like you guys when trying to buy drugs: "I'll take one. No two." Very funny. And I like that The Beave is/was one of McLoser's best friends. Great news clip. (How do you do that?)

    I've been offered marijuana, so it's nearly as easy to get as it is in CO. I didn't accept it, opting for simply enjoying the second hand fumes. Never tried it, but I like the smell.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The news clip? Lots of copying and pasting. And praying that it doesn't look mangled/half-assed.

      We've been offered weed plenty of times, too, and I don't think I have to tell you that neither of us are cool enough to be invited to the insane, bass-throbbing house parties you see in movies. So if even the likes of us can get offered weed at John Q. Fucktard's quiet boardgame house party... then yeah, it's everywhere.

      Delete
  33. I'm sure there was a Huey Lewis joke in there somewhere.

    The weed thing is like the wine thing, which is what they're counting on. Unless you're an expert, you can't tell the difference. But, if you're an expert, you want there to be a difference, so "My expensive weed is better than your garbage weed."
    But, hey, it will be good for the economy, being able to tax that expensive weed, which is why I think it should be legal everywhere and the government should tax the green right out of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like cheese connoisseurs so love the smell of stinky cheese, I'm amazed how many potheads just love the smell of really foul-smelling weed. I guess that means it's better. It all smells like shit to me, but to each his own.

      It's like wine. I wholeheartedly admit that I don't know the difference between a $10 bottle of wine and a $1000 bottle of wine. I've had the latter. My brother-in-law has more money than sense and even though we all forced ourselves to drink it, it tasted awful.

      Both my wallet and my palate have never been happier to enjoy $8 bottles of wine.

      Delete
    2. Since my wife works at a winery, I've tasted some more expensive wines (like in the $30-40/bottle range), but I can't really tell those apart from the $10 bottles. I can, however, tell when it's a $3 bottle. I'm going to guess at this point that the $1000 bottle tasted like the $3 bottle.

      Delete
    3. I don't know, $3 wine usually tastes like Koolaid, and at least then I'm just drinking grape flavored sugar water. I can at least get that down. But the $1000 bottle of wine was as dry as sandpaper and extremely bitter. The type of wine you can't drink without making that awful twisted up just ate a whole lemon who farted face. Making it so, so much harder to finish so I don't look ungrateful.

      Delete
  34. Thanks for the shoutout! I was so pleased when I saw the title of this post and I thought to myself "YEAHHH THAT PHRASE HASN'T DIED YET!!"

    And I think the legalization of marijuana is absolutely a step in the right direction - our prisons are filled with young black men who are disproportionately prosecuted for drug crimes (especially marijuana). Not cool. Also it's way less harmful than a majority of prescription drugs out there and arguably less damaging than an alcohol. And Boyfriend likes it a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were the first person we thought of when this post idea formulated, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Let's say good? (It's a compliment, really)

      And it's not just black men. My cousin, a Mexican woman, spent 10 years in jail for selling a quarter of marijuana in the 90s and missed her son's entire childhood. I'm not saying what she did was bright by any measure, but 10 years? I've seen murderers serve less.

      Delete
  35. I'm sorry but the way the news is portraying all this I can only assume that everyone in Colorado is now a huge pot head. I hope your new addiction to "the weed" doesn't lead you to a life of crime and then death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I inhaled some second hand smoke the other day and got an overwhelming urge to join a gang. It's horrifically contagious.

      Delete
  36. Same old song with a slightly different tune. I've never seen so many people get so excited about the government collecting more tax. Do they really think that this is going to help some poor schmuck out somewhere, somehow. Ha,ha,ha. Let's get the government involved in 'legal drug trafficking', that sounds like a good way to shut the whole thing down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weed's gotten so big that of course the government has to step in and regulate it. It's a great way to look like you're actually in control, and not the millions of potheads that are going to smoke it no matter what they do to try to thwart them.

      I think the next logical step is medical cocaine, which is a great way to alleviate headaches and increase functionality by 150% (since you don't actually sleep). Or perhaps medical heroin, to calm you down when you're coming off of that medical cocaine?

      Delete
  37. When I saw the news that it was now legal in CO, I was wondering when you guys would do a post. I can't understand why people are so worked up about this, either. Who cares? But then I think prostitution should be legal, too, so maybe I'm part of the 'problem'?

    And, by the way, my new blog is up and running. Not to be all spammy, but here's the link: Writesy Daisy if you want to come visit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATIVE ARTICLE SIR I LEARNED MANY FROM IT GO HERE TO BUY LUXURY WATCHES

      LUXURY WATCHES FOR CHEAP

      Delete
    2. Hey, we didn't want you to be the only one leaving spammy comments.

      Kidding aside, we're both happy to hear you're back and we're happy to help you spread the word in any way. And I might say the same about prostitution, if only because creepy guys are going to pay for sex anyway. Might as well do something to keep those girls safe so they don't get GTA'd in a back alley.*

      *after screwing them, beat them up and take your money back, plus all of theirs. Not my proudest in-game moment but oh so much fun

      Delete
  38. $600 ... I can't get over that and for an ounce...wait a minute I need to look up the conversion ah...24.34 grams. (Sorry - Kiwi here). I'm not too clued up on the whole weed market but isn't that a tiny amount.

    All I know is that when people get high they get the munchies and that tends to be good for the takeaway business. So my parents shop does well. Still, $600...that's insane.

    But legalising it doesn't really bother me. It's not legal over here but we've legalised prostitution...maybe that's next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I'm no expert either. I'm sure there are some stoners who could go through that in a day. Must be, since the legal limit to buy is one ounce per day.

      A $600 a day habit? Fuck that.

      Also I'm sure even without stoners your parents' shop would do fine. I mean, who could possibly hate delicious snacks?

      Delete
    2. Mmmm delicious snacks. Not stoned just now contemplating delicious baked goods (no pun intended...). And I keep thinking about all the DVDs, books and stuff I could buy for $600 USD.

      Delete
  39. Like you, I don't really care one way or the other, and also like you, I laughed my ass off when I heard about the prices. Because I am pretty sure you can get it cheaper, illegally, here.

    But yeah. The day someone ODs on marijuana is the day Cheech and Chong quit the gig.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it was possible to OD on marijuana Tommy Chong would be so, so dead by now. Like, he would have filmed the first Cheech and Chong movie and just dropped dead.

      Delete
  40. Hmm. I'm pretty sure $600/oz is the price for gold plated pot shot through with pure heroin. Jeesus.

    By the way - Great sweater.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it'd better be cut with Walter White's pure blue meth, at that.

      (Thanks!)

      Delete
  41. Have you guys seen that old Public Service film called "Reaper Madness"? The Hubby and I saw it and laughed all the way through, but people actually believed it back then. I've been wondering how this would play out in your State and am not surprised to see that it has been turned into a circus. Like anything else the government or a corporation gets involved in the price will go up and the quality will go down. You can say goodbye to good old Skunk Weed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the first I've heard of Reaper Madness, but any movie that portrays weed leading to rape and murder is something that I have to watch. Did no one back then realize that weed just makes you want to chill out and do nothing? That it's pretty much the anti-rape and anti-murder drug? Because *I* know that and I don't even smoke the stuff.

      Delete
  42. I'm holding up my Bic lighter, and chanting your names in a standing ovation! This was hysterical, and I could seriously see this as an SNL short! You know that this will be better than anything they'll write on the subject.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In all fairness, Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny in what, 20 years? And that's not just me sounding like a crotchety old person. Just try to sit through a single episode without cringing once. I know I can't. They need to hire us as staff writers to save that sinking ship, pronto.

      Delete
  43. Well....on the upside, I'm sure it'll be a matter of months before there's a hostile takeover by the cartels, which should level out the prices and what not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cartel doesn't even have to do a hostile takeover. Just show up and sell it for much cheaper. I'm pretty sure they can beat $600 for an ounce and still maintain a profit.

      Delete
  44. Will April 20th be a state holiday now? Everyone can take the day off work and smoke a blunt in the park without worry of getting arrested. Maybe I'll time my trip to CO for that day of celebration.

    Seriously though, I have no problem with weed being legal. When I was in Amsterdam people dropped their roaches on the ground like they were cigarette butts. It was no big deal. They had awesome pot cafes where you paid extra for quality weed. It rocked!

    My only concern would be driving. I hope they have restrictions on driving while stoned similar to what they have for alcohol.

    Bill O'Reilly kicks ass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They actually do have restrictions on driving while high, and the police have tests to see how much is actively in your system, and there's a certain limit, etc.

      It's funny you mention that because some dumbass who was high slammed into the back of two state troopers a couple of days ago. So of course the news is blasting it out of proportion asking, "OMG is this the beginning of marijuana destruction?"

      Yes, because everyone is now going to drive while blasted out of their mind and NO STREET WILL BE SAFE.

      Delete
    2. Yes, because everyone who gets high immediately gets behind the wheel and seeks out the PoPo so they can crash their car into them. It's idiotic to make something out of nothing with these stories.

      Delete
  45. The Oprah of weed is cracking me up! I just recently wrote about what an awful drug user I would be and I'm 100% certain I would 'order' my drugs the same way you guys did. I don't care how much Locked Up or Drugs Inc. I watch...I'll never be 'cool' enough to get the lingo. I'll happily save what little money I have by not dumping it on an ounce of the good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I recall that, and we would be awful drug users, too. I don't even know what you're supposed to inject and what you're supposed to smoke and what you're supposed to eat, so I'd probably do it all wrong and kill myself by plugging up my veins with marijuana, smoking mushrooms, and eating heroin.

      Delete
  46. Your post inspired me to write one on cat farting, FYI. Don't worry, I gave you props (do kids still say that?).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woohoo! Thanks for the shout out and we're glad that you took something away from this post. Not only that, but today YOU taught US something.

      And I'll happily take your mad props, which I assume the kids no longer say but I don't care because I'm embracing my post 20s lifestyle. I'm off to complain about my back and fall asleep watching TV on the couch.

      Delete
  47. I'm late to the party...I doubt I'll have much new to say.

    What is the average age of these media idiots who expect that the world will end with legalized pot.

    Right-everyone will take a couple of hits off a bong and start shooting up heroin because "it's a slippery slope," are simple idiots.

    I've seen fire and I've seen rain...

    Aren't these the same hypocrites who ingested EVERY FRICKIN SUBSTANCE THEY COULD GET THEIR FRICKIN MITTS ON back in the 60's?

    What happened to these people? The hippie generation turned out so lame.

    Fortunately, I have had too many hash brownies to care very much...

    Larry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you brought hash brownies, that makes up for your tardiness.

      We know a few stoners, who have been smoking since high school (so 10+ years), and miraculously, none of them have ever had a desire to take up crack or black tar heroin. And miraculously, they can still somehow hold down jobs and social lives and families without creating a whirlwind of destruction.

      I've seen fire and I've seen rain...

      And apparently Adele set fire to the rain. I bet she's on drugs.

      Delete
  48. I don't smoke it. I tried it when I was a teen, but never really cared for it. I live in AZ and it is definitely not a hard drug to score. We do have medical marijuana stores for those who have cards, but even that has been a problem especially with the lawmakers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In all fairness, our lawmakers are too old to even understand the Internet, so I doubt they'd understand marijuana.

      Delete
  49. Seems every one and their dog has it now any way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dog has a card, though. For her glaucoma.

      Delete
  50. I think I heard of a story of a girl who somehow managed to inject weed directly into her arm and she died.

    Idiot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And sadly, these are the kind of things that will present weed as a dangerous, killer drug.

      Delete
  51. California legalized it, then a few months later un-legalized it. Now there is a 215 card (green) you can get to legally smoke medical marijuana. Yep, any doctor will sign for anything. I do believe in my area you can stand out in the street and smoke a doobie and the cops won't waste their time on arresting you. Maybe cite you for public intoxication. Maybe.

    I stopped giving my 15 year old son cash for lunch money because I was tired of him spending it on weed (then coming home and eating everything in the house that didn't need cooked). Turns out he was buying Monster's with the cash and getting the pot for free.

    Catching your kids smoking pot now is about like catching the kids drinking alcohol when I was young. Sad but true.

    ........dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...Have you seen what they put in those Monsters? It's like drinking battery acid. And on an empty stomach. Yikes. I'd almost be more concerned with that!

      Delete
  52. Darn, late again and my comment gets lost in the white stuff.
    Anyhow, my son has $600 and is planning on spending it on tickets to a Dr Who convention. Perhaps I should be getting him drug tested...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The child in me is giggling at you "lost in the white stuff."

      If I had the spare cash, I'd probably spend $600 on a Doctor Who convention as well. Now then, does that make me smarter or dumber than the pothead...?

      Delete
  53. $600 for top shelf weed, eh? Well, I really don't know what to think. If I had the money lying around, I'd be tempted to spend it on some ridiculous old scotch or something, you know, just so I could have it. But at least with that, I'd get to keep the bottle to remind me of the most awesome buzz I ever had. So they should hand out gold cards or something to go along with the grade A weed, as a memento.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Growing up, which took place so long ago that the statute of limitations has expired, which is important because Wisconsin still thinks marijuana is a gateway drug, but then, our AG ran on a platform of making sure that Al Qaeda didn't set up terrorist camps here (SERIOUSLY) (And he won)(But we aren't a terrorist subdivision, so, well, apparently he's doing a good job)(where was I) ... we were overprivileged white kids who drove Fieros and listened to "The Cure" and could get weed more or less at will. At least other people could. I'm pretty sure I'd be the guy who paid $600 for fartnip if I tried.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I once knew a guy that said there was nothing wrong with MJ. He had been smoking since 5th grade and he hadn't gotten any dumber since then. That is the honest truth. We laughed because we knew he hadn't gotten any smarter either.
    To each his own I say. Last Friday I drank 26 beers and 3 shots of whiskey. Who is stupid now? To each his own..to each his own. PS I don't do pot. I do beer!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. I want to see a study if the number of take out meals has increased since legalizing weed, or the sale of candy has sky rocket?

    But who buys weed for 600$? How long is he planning on smoking that, where is he stashing it...everything will smell like weed...so many questions, so little caring.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Powered by Blogger.