So, it all started a few months ago when Brandon got a notice from the City of Denver that his dogs had been barking too much, despite the fact that they never bark. AKA this wonderful blog post.
Next came a stone with a note wrapped around it tossed into the backyard, like a missal from a poor man's bitchy Robin Hood. So, like an adult human being, Brandon began asking around, checking with all of his neighbors to find out who the offended party was. And what he found out was... everyone was being fucked with. One neighbor's grass had been reported for being too long. Another had anonymously received a barrage of dildos and dirty underwear thrown in their yard over the past three years.
So Brandon did the only logical thing. He installed a security camera on his garage. And after a few weeks of peace and quiet, he found this...
In case you're wondering, that's a dirty, used condom that Brandon's swine neighbor is throwing into his other neighbor's yard. The very next day, armed with video evidence of the dumbfuckery, the unwitting prophylactic recipient left a note demanding that his filthy, childish, grown-ass neighbor retrieve his spunky rubber before the police were called and shown the video. Which resulted in this...
That's right. Like the fucking moron he is, the dickweed neighbor shamefully collected his jizz filled condom, thus completing the evidence cycle and now opening himself up nicely to harassment charges, which are currently under investigation.
Which just goes to show, if you're a moron with nothing better to do than to screw with your neighbors, make sure you're not the dumbest motherfucker in the neighborhood before proceeding. Technology will eventually make you its bitch.
But that's not the end of the story, because something else popped up on Brandon's security camera recently. Something mysterious, and no one can quite explain what's happening or what it means. Maybe you guys can figure out what's going on.
Perhaps we'll never know. But for now, at least the asshole neighbor has been thwarted.
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Beer: Upslope Craft Lager
Music: Nick Cave