Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Stuff Your Fat Face Day

Hey all, and for those who celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving! Right now we're off doing what some of you might be doing as well: pretending you can tolerate "that" side of the family that you only see once or twice a year (and remembering why you only see them this often), listening to godawful stories that you never wanted to hear about your own parents, and of course, eating until you hate yourself.

With that said, we wanted to share a few of the reasons why we're thankful this year.

1. Bryan is thankful that even as he ages, he's still got a keen fashion sense.


2. Brandon is thankful to be alive in a time where quality music is created routinely and revered duly by the general public.


3. And both of us are thankful for Pepto-Bismol. Because if you mix it with a little vodka it becomes the perfect after-dinner cocktail for your volatile gut.



So spare us all the sappy shit. What are you REALLY thankful for this year?

Cheers and stay gracious, friends
B&B

Beer: Lagunitas DayTime Ale
Music: Hey Champ

73 comments:

  1. the other side of Thanksgiving

    The BLACK FRIDAYs Convergence with Thanksgiving and Hanukkah

    This issue is all about dealing with Black Friday without hordes and violence. If you suffer with Enochlophobia (fear of crowds) or if you just don't like shopping, this blog is for you!

    http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2013/11/black-fridays-convergence-with.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I plan to deal with Black Friday by sleeping until noon and pretending that stores don't exist.

      Beating a guy half to death to get $30 off a second gen iPad? No thanks.

      Delete
  2. I think the (tyra) banks auto regurgative function will help make space for dessert.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You win so many brownie points for referencing an old gag. So, so many brownie points. Which you may later regurgitate because ewww calories OMG.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Well, I have to do SOMETHING to keep my parents proud of me.

      Delete
  4. a 4 day weekend. Love the Tardis shirt. I really want one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I wish I could make one to give to you without us getting our asses sued off.

      Delete
  5. I'm thankful for A Beer For The Shower.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *cue 1990s television studio audience going "awwwww."*

      Delete
  6. Thankful I can shop online tomorrow and not have to leave the house!
    You guys have a great Thanksgiving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Black Friday can kiss my Black Ass, but Cyber Monday is my jam.

      Delete
  7. I am thankful that none of my cats have thrown up so far today and that I could use up the rest of my on the verge of spoiled milk in my sweet potato casserole! Also praying that it is on the verge and not over the verge...but really who cares, because if anyone gets sick, they'll blame it on the turkey!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That... is brilliant. I need to remember this.

      Delete
  8. I'm thankful somebody knows how to use windows paint for what God gave it to us for.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Have a great day with such relatives as soon as I see them I'm ready to run away lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, the first fifteen minutes is great. It's like, "Wow, this is nice. I don't see them nearly enough." Then the last 2 hours I'm scratching at the door thinking, "My God, when will this ever END??? Now I remember why we only see racist Uncle John once a year."

      Delete
  10. I think I'll be surprised if there actually AREN'T people using ex-lax as an after dinner treat to make way for more dessert. I think I have heard of people mixing antacids with booze. In any case, happy Turkey Day guys. Don't forget about tomorrow either; Stomp On People's Faces To Buy Shit Day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I go, it won't even be to buy anything. It'll purely be to stomp faces. Why? Because 'Murica, fuck you!

      Delete
  11. As a vegetarian and a not very sociable person, I'll be thankful when Thanksgiving is over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As a professional meatatarian, I can assure you with all the shit they pump into it, that turkey is only 15% meat at best. So, like, should you choose to indulge, you're practically not even eating meat. Practically.

      Delete
  12. Happy Thanksgiving to you! I'm thankful that Canadian Thanksgiving is long gone and I don't have to eat myself into a coma any time soon. Also, Pepto is evil, but maybe that's just my bismuth allergy talking. You can read about it here: http://www.thatwhitegirls.com/2010/10/i-decided-not-to-hit-you-because-you_4448.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, my wife is deathly (as in needing an EpiPen now) allergic to celery, so Thanksgiving dinner this year should be interesting to say the least.

      Delete
  13. Can I motor boat either one of your moobs? You don't even have to shave first. And my mom really is bigger on the inside.
    I'm thankful for internet goofballs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of us is practically hairless, the other is not. Should you wish, you can play Russian moob roulette. Girly or gorilla? Which will it be? Stay tuned...

      Delete
  14. I am thankful that I picked up a case of beer yesterday! Happy thanksgiving!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thankful for that as well. What I'm not thankful for is that my parents still won't let me drink at Thanksgiving dinner. Because I have to drive afterwards and one beer will clearly make me too drunk to drive, even if we sit for 2 hours.

      Yes, I'm still 30 years old, btw.

      Delete
  15. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving over here lads but I love the idea! There is nothing wrong with a holiday celebrating family and what we're thankful for. Personally I'm thankful for good music, drunken times and this blog, cheers lads!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm sure someone somewhere actually has a pepto-vodka cocktail frequently. I'm amused.

    I'm thankful for, you know, world peace and equality and all that stuff. It's taken long enough, and I'm glad it's finally here.

    Oh, it's not 4032 yet? Ah. I'm thankful for stuff. I'm pretty glad people are allowing me to eat until my gut drops. That counts for something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 4032? That seems like pretty wishful thinking. If anything, I figured we'd have just blown each other all up by then.

      ...Which would leave earth completely silent...

      ...Which would result in global peace. Touche, D4.

      Delete
  17. I wish we celebrated Thanksgiving over the pond... although, I do feel like you've given me enough insight in order to experience it vicariously through you guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just remember, you can stuff your face until you put yourself into a coma any day. The holiday is simply an excuse.

      Delete
  18. Besides my family the number one thing I'm thankful for is electricity. Actually technology. I am thankful I'm not half naked, armed with a stick and chasing some poor rabbit for my Thanksgiving dinner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a conversation like that with my wife yesterday. She was mad because I was too busy to go warm her up a TV dinner and bring it to her. She had to do it herself. I said, "You know, if this was 300 years ago I'd spend the entire day trying to kill some animal, then I'd bring it home, and you'd spend 4-5 hours skinning it, gutting it, and cooking it into some completely unsatisfying meal. At that point the whole day is gone. Then we'd go to sleep, wake up, and do it all over again. So stop complaining."

      It's all about perspective.

      Delete
  19. Thankful that there is thanksgiving so none of our American clients are online...awh so quiet!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mmmmmmm Ex-Lax cake! I'm THANKFUL to have found you guys! *Cheers*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just don't use the whole bar because your entire intestinal tract WILL liquefy.

      Delete
  21. Thankful for my health. I maybe have Fibromyalgia but I'm in pretty good shape otherwise. The rest is just gravy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The rest of your body is gravy? Like, instead of blood flowing through your veins it's delicious, homestyle gravy? That's both fascinating and kinda cool. Do you ever find random dogs walking up and licking you?

      Happy Thanksgiving!

      Delete
  22. I'm thankful for elastic (gotta wear stretchy pants on T-giving), candied yams, chocolate pecan pie (though I don't anticipate eating any this evening. I'm grateful for the thought). I also just ran a 5K non-stop. Well, I jogged it very, very slowly. But it was a first for me. I'm damn thankful I was able to do it, though. And oh, yes, thankful for being able to laugh, which is always guaranteed with a visit to this blog.

    Happy Thanksgiving.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard of pecan pie and I've heard of chocolate pie but chocolate pecan pie? A very happy Thanksgiving indeed! And congrats on the 5k. Those things are addictive. Next stop 10?

      Delete
  23. "This stuff is the shits"? More like, this stuffs the shits!
    Okay yeah that wasn't even funny.

    I don't celebrate, it's not even a recognized holiday over here, but I'll tell you what I'm thankful for. You guys, for your continued support in my often-times unbearable writing antics.
    Also, the motherfucking internet. Ain't nothing greater.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of us don't really celebrate either other than just taking a day to visit our family and stuff our faces, so hey, whatever right? I'd do that even if it wasn't called a "holiday."

      Also oh stop it you.

      Delete
  24. >>... So spare us all the sappy shit. What are you REALLY thankful for this year?

    I'm thankful for the fact that I can walk just three blocks South from my house and buy a six-pack of 'HOP KNOT' (which I am enjoying as I type these words), while other people can't have 'HOP KNOT' unless some pitying friend illegally mails it to them.
    [;-)}

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  25. Happy Thanksgiving to both of you guys. Bryan, if anyone can pull of the turkey headgear...it's you.

    I am just swamped with reasons to be thankful but here are a few..

    1. I didn't have to see my self-righteous, drunken SIL this year which make Thanksgiving far nicer.

    2. Thankful the above mentioned bi*** of a SIL doesn't read comments at ABFTS.

    3. I am thankful for your funny blog and your AWESOME cartoons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Already the "airing of grievances"? Sounds like someone's ready for Festivus!

      (We are, too)

      ((Oh, and thank you! The feeling is very mutual))

      Delete
  26. I am thankful for the fact that I managed to survive another year at work w/o getting waist deep into doggy doo-doo, which parlays into another year of being gainfully employed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just thankful for any day I'm not literally waist deep in doggy doo-doo.

      (I have 4 very stupid dogs)

      Delete
  27. My Thanksgiving has involved me staying in bed and watching movies on Netflix all day since my boyfriend is working. I guess that means I'm thankful for Netflix.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Binge watching TV is probably healthier than binge eating food. Still not healthy... but healthier.

      Delete
  28. Thankful it is only twice a year, sounds about right

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thankful I can still figure out this blogging thing

    ReplyDelete
  30. I actually wrote a blog all about what I'm thankful for, in the Riot-est way possible ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you could just copy and paste it into this comment box, rather than us going ALLLL the way over to your blog that'd be great.

      Delete
  31. I like that tshirt Bryan is wearing up top, but it's ironic he was wearing it, since his mom is bigger on the inside...

    (I am bad at momma jokes online because I always fear the person's maternal unit is dead...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother's alive, but shes likes to read our blog sometimes, so she just saw your comment, and now she's dead inside.

      Delete
  32. I am definitely thankful that I am not allergic to chocolate. That would be very, very sad. Oh, and I'm even more thankful that we're completely DONE with Christmas shopping, so now while all the rest of the world is going crazy trying to get all of THEIR shopping done, I can sit at home and laugh as I obsessively study for finals and avoid the crowds! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Today was a good, crazy day. It was my daughter's 4th birthday, so we had some fabulous birthday cake in addition to pie for dessert. (Again, very glad I'm not allergic to chocolate.) Woot!

    Hope you guys had a fabulous gobble day, and that your self-hatred only lasts until morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You had birthday cake AND pie? In the same sitting? I bow down to your gluttony, of which mine could not even remotely compare.

      Anyways, back to that chocolate cake we made yesterday... (which I am also thankful for the non-allergy)

      Delete
  33. Lions knocking the shit outta the pac!
    To hell with dry turkey and dry pork loin. WTF? Who can't cook a god damn turkey without the bones popping out of it like a starving ethiopian? Leave some fluid in it! Oh really? It was supposed to be turkey jerky? Whatever, glad I brought 12 Molson Goldens to wash it down with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably the only reason I hate turkey - no one ever knows how to make it.

      And any time the Lions crush an opponent by 30 points, it's truly a Thanksgiving miracle.

      Delete
  34. I'm thankful that I managed to curb my drunken rantings until I was at a safe distance from my girlfriend's parents house, making only my OWN family suffer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, come on, who doesn't love bringing up politics at Thanksgiving dinner? Sure makes things more interesting than the boring, "So... how's work?" small talk BS.

      Delete
  35. Nice boobs, fella's! I'm grateful that my dad was able to be up and about some at Thanksgiving this year, and that he'll be able to do Christmas, as well. :)

    Also, I'm going to be grateful for not being allergic to chocolate, like someone else said. Things we take for granted. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  36. No thanksgiving or black Friday here or 4 day weekend either but i am thankful to have met you guys because you always make me smile.
    Enjoy your weekend xx

    ReplyDelete
  37. I am thankful I got to spend time with my hubby, kids, granddaughters, sister-in-law, and nephew in the snows of Flagstaff, AZ. I am also thankful that I did not have to cook.

    ReplyDelete

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