But we were not prepared for the true horror that awaited us...
That's right, when it comes to scares, ghosts and ghouls and demons are nothing. Imagine a world where the popularity vote is truly all that matters and celebrity waste-of-space Kim Kardashian not only runs, but becomes the next president of the United States...
By a landslide.
|The only thing Mr. Poopynoodles begs for is belly rubs and butt scratches|
...And this, of course, would turn Kanye West into First Lady, where he would abuse what little power he had immensely.
The annual State of the Union address would merely be a yearly Kanye West concert that everyone in America is forced to watch, as the address is typically broadcast on almost every channel on TV. Think about that.
So this Halloween, as your friends tell stories of axe murderers and demons bathing in a lake of fire, just remember that in 2016, when Kim Kardashian is legally old enough to run for president of the United States, the mere possibility of her driving the country into the ground by way of popular and idiotic vote is not that impossible. Tell this story, wait for stunned silence, and then say, "Top that, bitches."
They won't be able to.
Cheers and stay horrified, friends
Beer: Lagunita's Dogtown Pale Ale
Music: Childish Gambino
P.S. Just another reminder that with this being Halloween, we're offering a week long 30% off discount on the paperback version of our new horror novel The Graveyard Shift. Just copy the coupon code below, and enter that bad boy at checkout to get 30% off. It's smarter than Kanye, it looks better than Kim K's ass, and it's scarier than sitting through an entire episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. So grab it cheap while you can!
Discount code: XTMCD38C