Monday, October 21, 2013

My Computer Hath Exploded... Again

Hey folks, so as some of you may or may not know, I (Bryan) am the one who does the majority of the art around here. Well, over the weekend, before I could draw out today's post, my computer exploded. Again. This is seriously the 4th computer with catastrophic hardware failure that I've gone through in the past 5 years. Apparently drawing crappy MSPaint comics, writing novels in Word, and surfing the Internet is just asking WAY too much of a computer. In fact, I've posted about this multiple times before.

So, since I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do and currently have no means of drawing comics (this is being posted from a netbook that barely runs), I'm recycling an oldie (but a goodie) post from 2011 when THAT year's computer exploded. That's right, today's recycled post is not only topical, but needed no changing whatsoever to relate to this weekend.

I still can't figure out whether that fills me with relief or just makes me want to bang my head against a table even more. Enjoy.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

       So if my comments have been lacking a little lately, it's not because I hate you or because I'm cheating on you with other bloggers (you know I'd never hurt you, gurrrrrl)... it's because my computer exploded.
       This weekend I was happily surfing porn the web, when suddenly my computer locked up and wouldn't respond. I shut it down, pushed the power to turn it back on again, and then the internals gave a death cry that sounded a little like a cat in a garbage disposal. It's completely toast. I did some digging around, and I have concluded the only logical reason why my computer would bomb itself out of nowhere.
       It's a terrorist.
       Think about it. There I am, patriotic Joe American, surfing whitehouse.gov and refreshing myself on the 3 executive branches (or looking at midget porn, whatever) when my hard drive goes all Jihad on me and detonates itself.
       How unamerican.
       The following is a very, very dramatic rendition of this.




 

 

  


  


  



       And what happened to me? Well, don't worry about me, folks. I was fine.
       Cue bad-ass, slow motion, walk-away from movie explosion.





Hell yeah

The computer on the other hand... that's definitely going to call for a replacement. So now I just need to count my pocket change and see what kind of computer I can buy for... $37.18.

I guess I'll see you on Thursday when I'm composing posts from my brand new Speak-N-Spell.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)

Beer: The bastard blew up my fridge
Music: Ringing ears

PS For the time being I'm semi-working on an old netbook. He can't draw, but at least I can surf the web, and I'm not too worried about him blowing me up. He's definitely not a terrorist. I'm pretty sure he's Jewish. Well, about running programs, anyway.

    

98 comments:

  1. Terrorist computers. That really does explain a lot.
    Sorry about the computer explosion and meltdown. I've not had one go into rebellious deep-fry and take with it everything on the hard drive. (Now knocking on wood with a steel fist...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The real joke is that my wife is a gamer and pushes her computer to the absolute limit for up to 6 hours at a time running all of the latest, most graphic intensive games. That thing's never so much as had a digital cough. Meanwhile, I'm trying to draw a comic in MSPaint while simultaneously checking my e-mail in a single browser window and my computer just implodes on the spot. Even as a former IT guy... I don't get it.

      Delete
  2. Last bit made me snort pretty hard haha, sorry to hear that you've had computer problems and can't draw though buddy, that's a real shame, at least for me personally I haven't read old posts before so this is a treat for me, loved it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have a lot of great older posts that not many people have read (before we became Internet D-list celebrities, that is).

      I fear we've been blogging for too long when something happens and we just ask ourselves, "Well, what do we have in the archives that covers this topic? Ah, yep, got something. Post that one."

      Delete
  3. I have a notebook I'd loan you, but I'm a little mad at the Broncos right now. My boys let me down last night and lost to the Colts so I need some time to mope before I even set foot in the state. I'm sure by the time I'm over it, you will have a new computer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm mad at the Broncos too. Meaning that my computer took a shit on me AND the Broncos looked like jackasses last night. Not a good start to the week, Holly!

      Delete
  4. I have a spare laptop now actually. It's the only computer I've had in the past seven years that hasn't died on me. I go through one or two computers myself and I'm pretty surprised this red one I use now has lasted so long. Although this one is one I actually get repaired rather than just replace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can actually repair computers myself, but if the replacement part(s) turns out to be more than the cost of the laptop, I just end up buying a new laptop. That's what's always happened before. For example, motherboard/video card blew up, and it would have been $1,000 to buy those parts online (laptop wasn't being made anymore). So I just opted for a new laptop. I hate that about laptops.

      Delete
  5. Aw sorry man! That is a bummer

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It is very much a bummer. Trying to type on this netbook is killing my soul. Even just typing causes lag. AGGH!

      Delete
  6. LOL had a few go boom too, then after I went at it, trying everything to fix the last one, nothing would work on the damn thing. I just threw it on the floor and went and bought a new one. Other day I hit the power button on the old one, and it turned on and worked. Stupid thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I imagine throwing it on the floor and threatening it with replacement made it changes its tune. Computers are stubborn creatures, they are.

      Delete
  7. Are you sure the mess in your house isn't just clogging your computers with dust and killing them that way?
    If you've bought all these from the same vendor, it's time to find another one, you're clearly being supplied faulty material not fit for your "all-terrain" needs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, this house has a ton of those dust-sucking air filters because my wife is allergic to... well, everything. There's not a trace of dust around.

      The fucked up thing is that I've bought each new laptop from a completely different vendor. "Well, Dell sucks, better try an HP. Well, HP shit the bed, better try a Lenovo..." ANNNND so on.

      Delete
  8. What a nightmare - hope you get it sorted soon! I hadn't read this post though so it's happy days for me!x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If my misery can bring at least one person joy, then I've done my job as a blogger.

      Delete
  9. The sad thing is that in two years of technological advances, computers still crash when watching internet porn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it doesn't matter how many e-condoms you have on, either. Thanks for nothing, Avast!

      Delete
  10. My computer life averages a year and a half. That makes no sense to me, as I only use Word, Chrome, and iTunes. I mean, that's all.

    Incidentally, I see you mention Avast in the comment above this one. Avast send out the greatest warning emails of all time. When they find something to warn me about, they send emails with the subject line, "Avast Suspicious," which I always read as "A Vast Suspicious."

    When I write my suspense/spy novel, I'm going to call it, "A Vast Suspicious."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Avast actually sends you e-mails? Fuck that. This is why when they ask for my registration info, it's always from Bill Farthammer, e-mail address gofuckyourself@analfissure.edu

      Delete
  11. Been there, done that. I don't do anything other than blogging and browsing and yet there is at least laptopcide happens in my home every year.
    and please have a spare passport and visa ready to Russia or Cuba ready. This one post is enough to get you on watch list buddy. Jihad, Allah, Jewish, terrorist all in one single post.
    I could fill more
    Bomb.
    Muslims.
    High rise.
    Skyscraper.
    Willis tower.
    Pentagon.
    Good knowing you Bryan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You want to do this? Okay, let's do this.

      9/11
      Obama
      Co-conspirator
      Anthrax
      Bin Laden
      Funny cat pictures
      (even terrorists need a giggle once in a while)

      Delete
    2. Haha. Cat pictures..
      Your blog is still up. Maybe we are listing wrong terms.
      Underwear
      Pressure cooker
      Socks
      Back pack
      Movie theater
      Veteran
      Costume
      Marathon
      Homemade

      RIP a beer for the shower. When you were up you always brought joy to the world. Hopefully someone in third world country keeps you up and running and filling it with fake Prada bag links in comments section.

      Delete
    3. Thanks for sharing friend. Eastern Voyage providing Luxury train Tours to whole India like Palace on Wheels, Iron Thruster, and Super Fast Rocket Hotdog. You can see culture, tradition, and adventure! Hold on tight! Luxury Indian Train Tours

      Delete
    4. (That was lifted directly from our spam comments section, and I, uh, may have changed a couple things) :)

      Delete
    5. Thanks for the morning laugh. :)
      Here is the kicker, that luxury train does have this warning note in both English, Hindi or any regional language.
      "Keep your arms and legs inside the train at all times"

      Delete
  12. Aww, 4-B, you damned copy CATver! You're only saying your computer died because I recently said mine had died. Can't you get your own disasters? Paingiarizer!

    That last panel was a classic! The problem with Jewish computers is that they won't let you write "ham" (it's not kosher).

    I hope you're up and running again soon. If the "high-tech fix" hasn't worked (turn it off; turn it on again), then you're in deep matzo.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first thing I thought as my computer uttered its last digital breath was, "Yep, I bet Stephen's going to get a kick out of this." You know, after only posting mere days ago on your blog about going through 3 computers. Add one more to the tally!

      "Turn it off, turn it on again" usually works wonders, except in cases when the computer attempting to boot sounds like a bowling ball in a washing machine. Sounds like it needs a shotgun out back, Old Yeller style, more than it needs a good reset...

      Delete
  13. As soon as this computer fad is over we'll all look back and laugh about how so into computers we all were.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The day I can load MSPaint onto my smartphone is the day I never buy another computer again.

      Delete
  14. My last computer coincidentally got nuked when I changed my background image to some fancy oriental design that happened to include the Japanese Rising Sun. I'm not saying there's a conspiracy in the works, but, well, maybe I am. There's no way it had anything to do with being a gold star user at GirthAndMirth.com.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not saying it was Japenese tentacle porn, but... has anyone ever successfully loaded that stuff without their computer just completely nuking itself?

      Delete
  15. Be careful - the only difference I see between the Jewish computer and the terrorist computer is the hat. And I bet the Jewish hat would fit over the terrorist hat.

    Hope you get back up and running soon. Who knew MSPaint would be the straw that broke the camel's back?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently if I was doing extensive 3D rendering while simultaneously playing Skyrim on ultra settings my computer would be fine, but since I'm drawing pixel art with 256 colors and reading comments on Blogger the result is obviously a digital meltdown.

      Delete
  16. I feel your pain. I've two laptops (one is not quite two years old and the other is about six months) and neither of them are working brilliantly. I refuse to buy another, mostly because I can't afford a third one.
    We obviously work so hard that not even technology can keep up with us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't afford a new laptop either, so I need to make some magic happen or be forced to use my wife's gaming machine when she's not on it, and draw comics using a laser mouse that I'm very much not accustomed to drawing with.*

      *First world problems, amirite?

      Delete
  17. HA! I remember this post! The day in 2012 when my 2003 Dell desktop crashed was a sad day. Fortunately, a laptop was just a few weeks away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you remember this one! And hey, if you're still reading us next year, you can probably look forward to seeing it again!

      Delete
  18. Damn, again!?! Planned obsolescence is one thing, but you may be purchasing your computers from an evil mastermind. I will recycle my comment from 2011 when I was just learning English:
    "Ha ha funny word pictures. USA number 1. Good job times bro."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I'll recycle my comment from 2011 when I was just learning how to use the Internet.

      HI PICKLEOPE THANK YOU FOR THE EMAIL HOW IS YOUR MOTHER IM DOING FINE IM GONNA DO A GOOGLE SEARCH NOW

      CHEAP HERPES TREATMENT

      AM I ON THE GOOGLE NOW HOW DO I DELETE THIS

      Delete
  19. Sorry to hear about computer.

    Since your wife's computer is fine but yours keeps blowing up, it might be the circuit you have your computer plugged into. In the 30 years, oh geez, I guess it HAS been that long, I've had computers, there's only been one that's actually died. One began making a noise and when I took it apart to clean it I accidentally got the vacuum pipe end too close to the cpu fan and broke one of the blades on the fan. The thing ran fine after that but it kind of vibrated which was really annoying.

    The dude walking away from the explosion with the sunglasses and cigarette is great! You might need to search around the apartment building for him.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. The wife actually has her computer in the living room where I work on stuff. Meaning? We're both plugged into the same outlet. So that can't be it. Unless... her computer is MURDERING mine??

      Delete
    2. Oh...I...dunno...but, it does sound logical especially if hers is the more powerful of the two.

      Delete
  20. My brother has gone through some many computers in the past couple of years. He's always super excited and gloats about his new computers and then they break like six months later.

    And they happened to be from HP.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Who brags about a computer that they didn't build? "Oh yeah, look at this stock HP. It can open SO many programs. How many programs can your Dell open? 10? Mine can open 15. Pussy."

      Delete
  21. Ugh, that's the worst! My computer has been threatening to die on me, but somehow I keep convincing it to give it another go.

    I hope you can find a replacement soon! So that you can get a whole good year's worth of work out of it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not only do I not make any money blogging, but it apparently now costs me $600 a year. God, I suck at this.

      Delete
  22. I can't believe you go through that many computers in such a short period of time, when my parents had the same computer for over ten years! They ran that poor thing into the ground! It was wheezing and spluttering by the time they finally retired it! I'm pretty sure that thing could play VHS tapes! Oooollldddd!!!

    Anyway, that really sucks that your computer crapped out on you again. You really should stop buying those things from "Achmed's Bargain Bomb Basement." If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, man!

    If it helps, I've got an old Asus laptop that you can have for $20. You can just peel off the decorative purple flower stickers and replace them with your preferred unicorns. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. My parents are currently running their ten year old virus-riddled PC into the ground, and yet, that's holding strong. My computer, which I run regular virus/malware scans and defrags and system cleanups on... that just shits the bed. Fuck you Achmed, you told me this computer was the equivalent of 72 virgins, bro!

      I will respectfully pass on the Asus laptop, if only because I sometimes work on my laptop in the park, where children play, and I don't really want to look like "that guy." You know that guy. He usually has a mustache and is on a wanted poster.

      Delete
  23. Sucky. This post is still funny, so at least you can stop beating yourself up with guilt over the re-post. My crap-top was threatening to do the same, it went to a meeting but didn't fully convert, so no Jihad. Turns out you can negotiate with FAKE terrorists just by removing a billion kid pictures (jokey memes) off the hard-drive. Well, so far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only deleting kid pictures would fix this problem. A) It's a hardware issue, so files aren't the problem. B) What the hell are all of these kid pictures doing on my computer? I don't have children. That's just awkward.

      Delete
  24. I am pretty sure you nailed it. Oops, is that too sexy of a word for your computer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The laptop caught a glimpse of your naked wrist, so he just blew up another computer. :(

      Delete
  25. Maybe that's what happens to my inlaw's computer and also my nephew's laptop. Terrorists. I should have known.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They need to keep on top of current threat levels.

      Today's Internet terrorist threat level: burnt sienna.

      Delete
  26. Oy vey, that's meshugenah (Yiddush for crazyness). So sorry about your computer problems. I would barely be able to restrain myself from taking a sledgehammer to it.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oy gabosh! I want to take a hammer to this kvitching mess but I'm getting all verklempt over here. So many memories!

      Delete
  27. Next time my husband starts bitching & freaking about his Mac Pro or whatever, I'll have him call you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I take solace in knowing that even if I've bought 4 laptops in the past 5 years, I STILL haven't spent as much money as I would have if I bought a brand new Macbook.

      Delete
  28. Are you sure it explode? I mean people are quick to blame things like this on explosion, jihad, terrorists when in fact you'll find that most problems like this are caused by infection. Now, if you'll just....

    Carp! I can't even keep this up for a few lines, let alone pages. good luck with the whole hot mess. In the meantime recycling is good.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I refuse to accept this information as valid unless you provide a 4 page reference website that was last updated in 1997 and numerous computer related facts.

      Fact: 5 in 6 webpages on the Internet are pornography. This is probably directly related to that infection, as I'm certainly a porn addict with poor computer skills.

      Delete
  29. Have you ever pissed off a guy who builds computers? It might have less to do with the computers being evil, and more to do with revenge from whoever you buy the computer from. But hey, your computer lasted a long time for only costing $37.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brandon bought his computer from the angry, naked bears. I didn't. Which must say something, because his is running like a dream and mine blew up harder than any given scene in a Michael Bay film.

      Delete
  30. Ah, so freakin' scary. My mac has been doing something special where it will go into a 2 hour coma if I let the battery get too low. It is an elderly 3 years old. Thankfully I bitched at work until they gave me a laptop so I can just that one for my nefarious acts of interweb terror.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My wife's Macbook does that, and it's a huge pain in the ass. On the other hand, it still actually WORKS, so... I guess it's got a leg up in that regard.

      Delete
  31. I feel for ya. Nothing worse than computer (well that and car) problems. I'd say I hope it is a quick and easy fix but then I would just be blowing smoke up your keister because we both know it's never quick and easy with computer fixes. Still, hope you get if all fixed because I for one, LOVE your art work. It's just so fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I'll be down for long. I mean, it can't be THAT hard to find a running computer with Windows and MSPaint... right...?

      Delete
  32. For what it's worth...

    In October 2008, I had a PC virus that I couldn't beat, so I decided I was just going to buy a cheap-ass $300 Acer laptop.

    That lasted until November 2012, when I got malware that I could not beat....so I bought another $300 Acer, figuring that $75 bucks a year was not such a bad price for a computer. Plus I was able to salvage the hard drive and put it into a sleeve and recover all my stuff!

    I really just surf the net and do blog posts, and rip a shitload of CD's into iTunes (I've been uploading my collection to the cloud), so maybe the cheap-ass PC route would not work for you.

    Larry

    P.S. If I could make my work PC blow up, I would consider that the coolest thing ever. Not that I have anything against my employer, but I just would love to see a computer burst into flame because I ran too complex a query!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, I've done the whole cheap-ass PC thing. I've also done the not-so-cheap-ass PC thing. Still no luck. I can beat the malware. I just can't beat the exploding parts.

      Also, I'm sad to report that computers can't literally explode on their own. They can, however, self destruct. They have programs for that. Apparently. Though this seems a bit drastic to me.

      http://www.lalarm.com/data-destruction/

      Delete
  33. You seem to be having some incredibly bad luck with your computers. I think you need to stop Googling the meaning of life. The machines just can't take it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You wouldn't think it'd be that hard just to find '42.'

      Delete
  34. Beer: The bastard blew up my fridge
    Music: Ringing ears

    ^^^^^So funny!!

    While it sucks that your computer crapped out on you, I have to admit, I'm kinda glad it did. Wait, that came out wrong. Let me try again. It's good your computer broke because, shit, I did it again (like Britney). What I'm trying to say is - funny post!

    Hope the computer gets fixed soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you can't laugh at your own misfortunes, what's the point, right? If the worst thing to happen to my week is my laptop stops working, I guess I had a pretty decent week.

      Delete
  35. When my laptop crashed awhile ago my computer guru (has his own business) was able to take my hard drive and save what was on it and put it onto a new hard drive (about $50). Perhaps it's able to be repaired? Mine was dead. Blue screen of death and everything. Hope you get it resolved soon.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well. At least you tired turning it off and on again ;).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also tried making sure it was plugged into the wall. That didn't work either. :(

      Delete
  37. I had three computers die in one week. It sucked.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Was it a Dell? Because that would be your most serious problem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, but thankfully for me, I can fix it myself. If I had to call up Pradeep in India, uh, I mean "John Smith" in "New York", I think I'd kill myself.

      Delete
  39. Mine went belly up months ago. Not something I'd wish on any one. Need the internet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like the Internet is the crack of our generation. Without it even for 1 hour, I kinda get the shakes...

      Delete
  40. 2 years old, and completely on point. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If other posts start repeating, I may need to reevaluate my life choices.

      Delete
  41. Yikes. Right so I won't tell you about this new fancy work computer I'm rocking. Core i-7 24gb of ram... I have so many programs open right now sucking up all that sweet sweet ram. I'm only at 8gb of usage... I could triple my program usage before I hit the ram wall...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind me just wiping the drool from my mouth. My wife's computer has 16 gb of ram with a Core i-5, and well... I already thought THAT was pretty fast. Sweet mother of speed.

      Meanwhile, I just opened up winamp on this netbook to try to listen to some music while blogging and I'm pretty sure this machine is about to have an aneurysm.

      Delete
  42. I'm a computer dunce--well actually a dunce period and especially for using the word dunce. But yeah I love/hate my computer. Don't know what I'd do without it, but maybe I'd get something done if I didn't have it. Really I don't want to find out.

    At least you know something about computers. I'm one of those guys who'd have to call up Pradeep. Guess I should starting to think up cool ways to end it all. Maybe my computer will actually blow up and kill me. So much for blogging.

    Lee
    Wrote By Rote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My computer tells me that I get more done by having it, and yet at the end of the day I don't always feel like I accomplished something. Is this thing lying to me? BRB, let me go Google the answer...

      Delete
  43. awh man that sucks! I know your pain, I hope there were backups of your masterpieces!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I store everything to "the cloud", so it's not a matter of losing any of my files (thankfully), but it is a matter of having a computer to use.

      Delete
  44. I will have had my good ol' netbook for 6 years soon. I'm gonna celebrate its birthday and everything. With this said, I'm gonna do what I never do and recommend a Mac. You clearly have the money for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I may be ballin' at the moment, but sadly, I still don't have enough money to buy a laptop that costs more than my car. And even if I could? Macs don't have MSPaint. I'd have to learn photoshop or something stupid like that. Psssh, please. I'm a professional artist, here. I think I know what I'm doing.

      Delete
    2. Actually they have this thing called "Paintbrush" which is kinda similar.. Don't you wanna feel the pain when one of your keys slips off and you have to pay $60 to put it back on?!

      Delete
  45. And this is why I have my custom built desktop. Cost me a bit but it was worth it.

    5 years + 1 upgrade later. It has outlasted and outperformed my laptops.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I built my wife a custom desktop that's still running strong after 4 years. My problem? I can't draw with a mouse. I need that stupid laptop mouse for precision. If I could, I'd just build myself another desktop.

      #WhiteGirlProblems

      Delete