So as some of you may or may not know, I used to be an IT guy. I was once the very person I hate... this guy.
That career path is long behind me, but it's still funny to see that even if computers have changed drastically over the past 10 years, people have not. Users still haven't found the elusive "Any" key. They also haven't learned not to surf porn at work and riddle their machine with viruses. The phrase 'Have you tried turning it off and on again?' still fixes 95% of issues.
IT people haven't changed much, either. So today I'm going to tell you how not to be an IT guy (or gal). That's right, it's easy to be an IT guy. All you have to do is have an intermediate knowledge of how computers work and a basic understanding of operating systems. But working with people who don't understand those things? That's an entirely different ballgame. As someone who was (mostly) beloved at his former offices, these are my 3 golden rules on how not to be an IT guy.
1. Don't speak like a robot
Let's say I don't know much about computers and I have a printer issue. I need to get my laptop to connect to my wireless printer. What I don't need, however, is an endless list of technical jargon that makes me feel like a special needs kid hearing about quantum physics.
Yes, Norbert answered my question, but he answered it like a robot would. And while the reply he gets will probably be something like this...
...what your average computer user is feeling right now is something like this.
Users appreciate it when you explain things in layman's terms, just as much as they appreciate not feeling like they just hobbled off the short bus. You don't have to speak like a caveman, but no user wants to be hit with a barrage of tech words that sound like they came out of a science fiction movie.
2. Don't act like a know-it-all
Some IT guys like to act like they know the answer to absolutely everything even remotely related to a computer. But let me let you in on a little IT secret: we don't know all of the answers. Technology is ever-changing, users are finding more and more creative ways to fuck up their systems, and no one's truly seen every problem out there. So what happens when we don't know the answer? We hit up "The Google" just like everybody else, we find an answer, and we try it out to see if it works or not.
Yeah, that's right, puns, bitch!
3. Don't be a dick
Some might see this as 1 and 2 combined. Others might see this as 'no shit, Sherlock.' Either way, it's something I saw way too much when working in IT. Let's say Susie in accounting just brought down the entire Internet by deleting her Internet Explorer icon from the desktop. She already feels like an idiot by not understanding the situation or what she did wrong; the last thing she needs is for you to make her feel like an even bigger idiot.
What she says after you fix her issue will probably be something like this...
But what she's really thinking is this...
Remember, don't be a pretentious dick to someone's face if they don't know as much about computers as you do. Save that for behind their backs. I mean, that's just simple Etiquette 101, bro.
Those of you who've had to deal with IT folk... any other tips?
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Music: Capital Cities
Beer: Red Rocket Ale
PS For those wondering how I fixed my laptop to bring you today's wonderful drawings, I was able to run a disk repair tool on my hard drive and repair a few corrupted sectors, meaning my drive is running for now while I transfer all of its local data to an external drive and order a new HDD...
LOL, JK you guys. All I did was this.