Monday, September 23, 2013

The Life Coach: The Idiot's Therapist

Have you ever been flustered by decision making? Find yourself struggling to achieve basic goals in your everyday life like paying bills and maintaining simple friendships? Are you wondering why you suck at life so badly? Then you may need a visit from a new occupation beaming on the New Age horizon: the life coach!

life coach funny stupid

Yes, that's right, for those unfamiliar with the life coach, this is a profession in which a person tells you how to live your life properly so you stop "fucking everything up."*

*Hey, that's the medical term. Not ours. We're not nearly that crass.

Personally, we think this is stupid, paying someone thousands of dollars just to tell you how to live your own life. But we like to keep an open mind about things, so today we went undercover as unstable, unsuccessful losers (which we're obviously not) to see what we could learn about this occupation..



First off, we learned that they're basically like the personal cheerleader you pay just to add meaning to your life.




bro fist bump cartoon

We also learned that you don't need any kind of formal training or certifications to be a life coach.







Yep, you can pretty much just wake up one day and say "I'm a life coach, so give me thousands of dollars to let me tell you how you should be living your life."

I guess the two of us still aren't sold. What about you? Would you hire a life coach to help you navigate through your daily life?

Cheers and stay classy, folks,
B&B

Beer: Red Rocket Ale
Music: Arctic Monkeys

117 comments:

  1. Now why would I need a life coach when I have all the wise words I need right here?
    BTW that is one fine looking cucumber...seem to remember a story I wrote once involving a cucumber, a long time ago

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you need to e-mail her that story for her "date" tonight...

      Delete
  2. I think I would probably hire a personal trainer at a gym. I could use the motivation. As far as life coaching goes though, I don't think I would. You can find the answers to what you need to be doing with your life fairly easily without paying someone to do it and if you need to be motivated and validated by someone else, chances are you aren't ready.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure you could just Google a reasonable answer to whatever you need to know at this point. Like, should I pay my bills on time? According to Google (and anyone with half a brain)... yes, yes you should.

      Delete
    2. I was going to leave a comment about combining life coaches and personal trainers, and Mark almost beat me to it!

      Imagine, while spotting you on the bench press, they could yell at you to pay your bills on time!

      Or you could not pay them and have the water turned off and learn that way....

      Larry

      Delete
    3. "But I couldn't afford my water bill because I was paying you. God, being a responsible adult is so hard."

      Delete
  3. Nah, I probably wouldn't hire a life coach when I can just go to a sleazy bar any night of the week, tell the bartender or any stranger my problems, get some drunk advice and a nipple squeeze for free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same goes for us as guys. Well, depending on which bar you stumble into...

      Delete
  4. I'm already a Ninja - what more could a life coach do for me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Validate your mundane daily ninja-related activities?

      "Alex, bro, you totally nailed that throwing star. Good job, bro."

      Delete
  5. Hey, there's lots of people who will do this life coaching thing for free. In fact you've given me an idea. I'm going to start charging people to tell me how to live my life. What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Boss me around for a day - $10."

      I think that sounds genius.

      Delete
  6. 1. Did he poke her boob?

    2. Relationship advisor w no formal training?? I COULD BE CHARGING PEOPLE FOR THE SHITTY ADVICE I GIVE THEM ON RELATIONSHIPS?!?! I think I want to be a health coach. "Yes, of course wine and popcorn meet all your nutritional needs!"

    3. No but seriously, my cousin is an aspie and has a life coach and it is well worth the money to help him get through some basic stuff that most of us can easily do and take for granted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. He pointed to it aggressively.

      2. Right? To think I've given out so much bad advice for free. I'm an idiot.

      3. Admittedly, that sounds like a situation where a life coach could come in handy. But for what it's worth, not a single one of the life coaches we've met or looked up in our research mentioned anything about asperger's, special needs, etc... they just wanted to help regular people "take charge of their lives!"

      Delete
  7. And every time I wonder if you guys actually went out to do research or not. Don't think you can spare the money for an expensive bum, uh, life coach though.
    If I were to make a living off of life coaching, here's how I'd do it: Ask people what they want to do, then tell them to do it. Easy dosh alright.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe it or not, we do research on our posts to make sure we don't look like (complete) jackasses. And Ms. Punisher? She, uh, may be a real person that we both know. And those "qualifications" of hers may or may not be 100% true. That's all I'm at liberty to say.

      Delete
  8. I just roll Dungeons & Dragons dice to make life decisions. Like all smart people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried that, but instead of "paying my bills on time" I ended up "slaying the fire-breathing dragon of Anthor." While a cool achievement, I no longer have water service or cable TV. How do you do it?

      Delete
  9. I don't like the way she's eyeing that cucumber. And isn't that what qualifies all people who dole out relationship advice, a lack of tangible qualifications and a penchant for doling out bullshit? Can I politely demand a story about the exploits of the Crime-Fighting Millionaire Cowboy Firefighter Astronaut?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's actually our next novel, and it's like a very erotic Batman... but in outer space. Think whips, chains, and that awkward Batman Forever nipple suit.

      Delete
  10. What a rip off. Simple saps need to wake up, all they do is tell you to do what you want to do anyway. Get the same advice from taking a dump, turning around and seeing if it spells yes or no lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you could pay me enough to consider being a professional poop analyst...

      Delete
  11. I'd hire a life coach, and when he/she asks me what I'd like to do with my life, I'd say I want to be a life coach as well. My life coach would teach me the ropes of becoming a life coach, and in the process, second guess their own life decision and realise how inane the profession actually is. Then, I'd life coach them in return for thousands of dollars.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The ol' switch-a-roo. I can't help but feel this would make a great caper movie.

      Delete
  12. "Punisher" the cucumber/zucchini made me laugh. For no particular reason, you understand.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I once had a boss who hired someone she called an "empath" to follow her around and tell her how an non-psychopath would react emotionally to everyday situations.

    I'm not kidding about that.

    In her defense, she was a lawyer.

    The psychopath, not the empath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This sounds like the premise for a prime time thriller/drama. Have you pitched this to CBS yet?

      Delete
  14. How dare you insult the profession I just got into three hours ago without qualifications or experience? As a life coach, I'm telling you not to diss life coaches any more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And where can I mail your check? This is assuming, of course, that I owe you money for your services of telling me how to not insult you.

      Delete
  15. I think a life couch book should your next project- I hear they sell really well, but only online because no-one really wants to be seen buying self help books. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So basically they're a lot like Punisher... people buy them, they just don't want to be SEEN buying them. Got it!

      Delete
  16. Hmmm....Maybe I need to be a life coach, because my life is clearly under control

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations, you have all of the qualifications to be a life coach! "Have your shit together!" When can you start?

      Delete
  17. This is the paradox. In western countries mom, dad, teacher, friends,family or noone dictates your life. they let you figure out your life. So you pay to get advice or "wisdom" from these lifecoaches or as backpackers from yogis and swamis in oriental countries.
    Whereas in those countries, you get free advice from everyone, even hobos and strangers you meet in train always dictate what you should do or what you shouldn't eat.
    The lifecoaches or those swamis in ashrams live on dimes and pounds from backpackers rather than paisa and rupees before they are arrested for prostitution and drug scandals.
    you want to be bossed around? spend your dime on dominatrixs rather than these lifecoaches.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So basically what you're saying is that we need Indian hobos to follow us around for free and tell us how to live our lives? When can we begin importing them? All the hobos do here is ask for drug money without giving anything in return. It's completely selfish.

      Delete
    2. Your blog ate my comment.

      Why import them, go to any 7-eleven and say out little loud "what should I do?" you will get list of to-dos for life, wife and also to be born grandkids as well.

      I could send you my father-in-law's mail id, he would make spammers likeable with list of to-dos.

      Advice from Indians comes with a timeframe.
      Hobos - spare me a dollar bro another panhandler shall save your life from an accident in another hour or so - karma bro.
      Strangers - if you help a stranger today tomorrow your morning shall break with a blessing from higher calling. (day or two)
      Yogis - in 3 months you will find your woman/lottery if you offer 1000 for prayers today. (that is the usual time he gets arrested or to runaway with all the offerings )
      Parents - almost half your lifetime. (if you cook and clean and also study well , in future you can take care of us with help of maids and servants else you may have to do it by yourself with your wife)

      Thanks no thanks. :)

      Delete
  18. >>... "Three long-term relationships in the last five years."

    Ha! Methinks we needs to define the word "long-term". (I was always under the impression that long-term was something that went on for a long time. Stoopid me!)

    I really, Really, REALLY need to find a "Tara" for my life's companion, to coach and boss arou-- er, to "help". A decent looking woman who will do ANYTHING I tell her to do? OK, I'm a "Life Coach"!

    >>... Beer: Red Rocket Ale

    WHA'? You done have done it? How was it, 4-B? (I hope I didn't oversell the nectar.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's like taking prostitution and turning it on its head. Why pay for it when you can make some lonely, decent looking women with practically no self esteem pay you for it?

      And that was a damn good beer. No overselling it. My life coach gave me permission, so I'll definitely be buying it again.

      Delete
  19. I have a friend who has a life coach. She's really smart, successful and I could never for the life of me figure out WHY she was using one. I think your commentary is DEAD ON. I mean, if you have issues to deal with, perhaps a therapist or counselor that has degrees in human psychology might be a better way to go? Just my humble opinion... ;)
    But maybe she just needs a good fist bump every week...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess no matter how cool you are, we all need a little pat on the back sometimes. Some have to pay for it, others don't. Who knew validation was so much like prostitution?

      Delete
  20. I think I want to be a life coach to a life coach. Is that a thing? Can I make it a thing? That sounds awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure every life coach exists because they, at one time, had a life coach. If you trace it back like a family tree, legend has it there's a man who was never coached by anyone at all. Only himself.

      (ooooh, ahhhhh)

      Delete
  21. I've always questioned the whole life and career coach thing. Last week I met an executive career coach. They come in every shade and stripe apparently.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes, the career coach!

      "What do you want to do as a career?"
      Uh, I don't know. Be a writer?
      "Then... BE a writer."

      (That'll be $1,000, please)

      Delete
  22. Yes please. I'd pay for a personal cheerleader. That sounds so awesome I'm wondering why that hasn't been a thing for, well, ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love someone to validate my everyday decisions.

      "Man, you opened that door SO well."
      "You gave your mom a hug? Respect! That is how it's DONE!"
      "Look at you paying for your lunch. LIKE A BOSS."

      Delete
  23. I wouldn't pay a life coach... now a therapist? That's another matter entirely.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh my, when she picked up Punisher, I laughed so hard, I probably woke up my roommate and the entire neighborhood. I'm also extremely relieved that I, er, a friend of mine, isn't the only one who keeps the cucumber industry in business.

    PS Totally agree with you about the bogus "profession" of life coaching.

    Cheers,
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not cool. There is nothing funny about a woman molesting an innocent vegetable.

      Delete
    2. In my defense, there is nothing innocent about my - er, my friend's - cucumber. I suppose it was innocent at one point, but I assure you that's no longer the case.

      Delete
  25. I think all wives are life coaches, but when we do it, it's called nagging. Now there's an idea. The new PC term for nagging is "Life Coach".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's a huge difference, though... I'm not gonna pay my wife to nag me.

      Delete
  26. Now if the life coach actually paid my bills and did my errands, then that's something I could get behind.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Okay, I think you need to put the "Celebratory Bro Fist" picture on a t-shirt or something.

    So far as life coaches go...I say no thanks. I have a tendency to resent being told what to do by other people. If I tried hiring a life coach, they would end up with a few less teeth and a LOT of attitude from me...Basically we'd both end up hating each other. Why pay to make a lifelong enemy when I can do it for free?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't like being told what to do, either. A good life coach would have to be extra smart and reverse psychology me.

      "So... last week I told you not to pay your bills. What did you end up doing?"
      I paid my bills anyway. Yeah, that's right. ...Wait.

      Delete
  28. Life coach? Bahahaha. That wouldn't really help me not sucking at living my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know about that. Some of them have some really good, formal training from ON-LINE COLLAGE UNAVERSITY.

      Delete
  29. The Punisher as a cucumber? Looks like another Marvel character is getting a gritty reboot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When pressed for comment, Thomas Jane said, "Ouch. Yeah, I guess I deserve that."

      Delete
  30. You bet your sweet cucumber I wouldn't! I just turn to my blogging buddies for advice!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right, you can have our awful advice for free!

      Delete
  31. Gotta love a profession where all it takes is to say "I am a Life Coach". I have met a couple people in that biz and they don't seem to have a total grasp on their own shit so, I am a bit skeptical as to how they would help anyone else.
    I, especially don't understand why anyone would be willing to pay to be mentored by a person that clearly had to make up a job for themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But think of how easy it is to build a resume.

      John, 29, life coach.
      "I've been in the business of life for almost 30 years! Top notch experience!"

      Delete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun fact these things render html, things is angle brackets get interpreted as html.
      So Punisher, (shudders) was the actual comment.

      Delete
    2. I wish I had seen the other comment now. Was it "Punisher shudders"? Because frankly, that's just hilarious.

      I'm sure he does, Josh. I'm sure he does.

      Delete
  33. I'd love to be a food coach so when I keep hearing people whine about losing the same 10 pounds over and over, I can tell them how incredibly stupid they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If there's one thing this world needs, it's the Gordon Ramsay of dieting.

      Delete
  34. So, was the Punisher a personal cheerleader as well?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could say that he motivated her by getting deep inside of her and exploring her inner issues.

      Delete
  35. Um....can't get past the visual of the cuke. And I could use a mouth coach...someone there at all times to tell me to zip it before I put my foot in it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Since I ain't got no money I need a free life coach to help me become successful enough to pay a life coach who can make me rich and then I can hire a life coach to keep me rich until they take all my money and make me poor again. Aaaw, maybe I don't need no stinkin' life coach.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Man, you've got it all figured out. Will you be my life coach?

      Delete
  37. Aw man, I could crush it as a Life Coach. I mean, those who can't do, teach. Right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a great slogan. "I can't keep my shit together, but I can definitely help you keep yours."

      Delete
  38. I didn't think that Life Coaches actually existed guys as a profession haha, that woman and her cucumber really cracked me up, incredible!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Life coaches and "social media experts" are starting to enter a hipster level of hatred from me. Actually I make this declaration now: they are officially zombie fodder too. *makes the official hand sign to make it so*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reminding us about the "social media expert."

      Here's $200 - will you teach me how to Facebook? Please? The Internet is hard.

      Delete
  40. She's in a pickle now

    no... wait reverse that.

    ReplyDelete
  41. The only (ex) life coach I have ever met was...well, I prefer the company of a pickle. At least there would be less idiocy and better conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I've considered being a life coach actually. Just because I live my life like a damned genius, people don't get how I do it either. I'm not even trying to be funny or anything, people are all "how are you happy?" then I give them free advice. "Don't do things that make you unhappy."

    I could be rich. I could.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment changed my life for the better. It never even crossed my mind to do things that make me happy. So where can I mail you a sizable check?

      Delete
  43. Proof that the economy can't be all that bad? People have the money for life coaches!

    In the old days, when a man needed a life coach, he sought out a wife.She explained to him that he was wrong, and he paid the bills on time (or gave her the checkbook and she did). Everything worked!

    Then came no fault divorce, but to fill the void were Anthony Robbins' tapes,

    Now life coaching is a job.

    I guess some people need someone to tell them how to live....I've spent most of my life wishing people would keep that stuff to themselves!

    Larry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I see it more like this: proof that people can still be stupid while the economy is so bad.

      "Man, the economy is shit and I can barely afford to get by. I need to spend $1,500 and hire a life coach to help me better manage my money and my life."

      Delete
  44. I leave my important decisions to my Magic Eight Ball. The only problem I have is when it says "ask again later" or "reply hazy try again." Then I feel like I'm under pressure to think for myself. I hate that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to consult my Ouija board but rather than help me it just says BURN IN HELL. Gee, thanks for nothing, evil spirit haunting my house!

      Delete
  45. I think Dolph is just in it to touch Tara's boobs. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have to be a life coach to know that's always a good decision.

      Delete
  46. Never say never, but I think if I hired a life coach, I wouldn't tell anyone. I hate people telling me what I have to do or, even worse, can't do.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I too grab my magic 8 ball or just go with the flow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go with the flow? You are a life coach's worst nightmare. No one who has their life organized "goes with the flow"... you hippie!

      Delete
  48. I literally laughed at the bro fist thing. And the overuse of the word "bro". That might be because I've never heard anyone actually do that so I don't want to "bro fist" someone in the fact for using the word "bro".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bro, you definitely don't live in the right area, bro. Because we both hear that shit all the time, bro.

      Delete
  49. A life coach sounds a great idea. I really think i need that because there are times when i lose control of myself and it seems like my life is a mess. There are a lot of decisions that i have made that i regret and feel like everyday of my life is getting worst. There are just a lot of things to deal with. It would be nice to have some help from a life coach.

    KathieRayAnnis.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what I do when I lose control? Sack up and drink some more.

      Delete
  50. The only person that can motivate you to do anything, is you.

    That being said, being a "life coach" must make you a lot of money... Not unlike being an online psychic...

    ReplyDelete
  51. Haha if I'm unemployed for much longer and keep getting rejection emails in my inbox - I know JUST the thing to pursue. Do you guys need a life coach??

    ReplyDelete
  52. Been busy with my two life coaches (and a carton) but I am listening. Didn't think I really needed one - what's that? - yes. yes. It will burn well. Oh yes. No. I'm not listening to him. ....yes..........

    ReplyDelete
  53. I just stumbled across this looking for something else and I'm pissing myself laughing.

    The only thing is I'm not sure what I'm laughing at the most, the cartoons (which are funny) or you for your total ignorance of what life coaching is.

    I'll just say one thing and bail. Life Coaches don't tell people what to do, that is the antithesis of good Life Coaching.

    But hey it's satire, so fuck the facts, right? ;-)

    Maybe check out what li

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on, man, don't leave me hanging. Maybe check out what life is like when you snap into a York Peppermint Patty? Maybe check out what lies between my ample bosom? The suspense is killing us.

      Kidding aside, "telling people what to do" is of course the funny, dumbed down version of it, and I'm assuming you're a life coach, so you can elaborate. What is it that you do specifically?

      And please do remember that even if you're good at what you do and help people, the fact remains that there are no true qualifications to call yourself a life coach, and that because of this many of these pseudo-life coaches just tell others what to do and are extremely bad at it. This post is, in fact, inspired by one such person who we both know in real life. This isn't a dig at you. It's a dig at her and others like her who just want to make some quick cash by telling people how to live their lives when she can't even properly live hers.

      Yes, this is satire, as most of our posts are. So what are the facts, then? No one who's chimed in to this conversation has been a real-life life coach, so we're listening. Just don't tell us what to do.*

      *that's a little bad-life coaching humor

      Delete
    2. Yeh I've no fucking idea what I was about to type then, I suppose it could have "maybe check out what lies between my butt cracks"? but I'm guessing now.

      There are of course a great many credentials for Life Coaches. What you mean is that it's not a regulated industry and that any dumb ass can call themselves one.

      And sadly, yes there are a lot of really shit Life Coaches out there that have no clue as to what they are doing and they are holding the industry back.

      I did genuinely laugh and I know coaches too like you have mentioned, but I also think, "Fuck that's another few people who have decided that Life Coaching doesn't work or is for saddos'

      I'm not going to explain what coaching is in a comment, it would take me all day, but I will say this. Soooooo many super successful people use coaches it's just that the general public seldom hears about it.

      Tiger Woods hires a new coach and it's well documented. Bill Gates hires one and you never hear a thing. And that was example, in no way am I saying Billy Boy has me on speed dial and refuses to make a decision on which sweater to wear without consulting with me first.

      Now let's all hold hands and send good vibes to the Universe, it's had a tough week.

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the reply.

      This is also the plight of the writer. Anyone can call themselves a writer, throw together a book, and hit publish. It doesn't necessarily make them a writer, though, and because of that there's a ton of shit just floating around, which can make it hard to differentiate oneself as "not complete shit."

      I don't think a life coach would work for me personally, but if it's working for Bill Gates, that's awesome. Someone needs to fire Tiger's life coach, though, assuming his life coach's advice has been "fuck more bitches, it can't possibly get you in trouble."

      Also, if the universe is having such a tough time, have you tried getting its life back on track with some coaching? I feel like if the universe knew it was a valuable member of society and found a way to hold itself accountable for its actions it could really get its shit together.

      Delete
    4. I never said that to Tiger, what I said was "fuck more bitches, it can't possibly get you in trouble, unless you nail that waitress in the parking lot again"

      Biiiig difference my friend as you will soon find out when my lawyers come knocing.

      Delete
  54. Life coaching is not just a work at home job.  It is a career choice and a highly respectable one.  You not only make a good living, but you are rewarded by helping others every day.  
    Life coach

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Highly respectable to whom? Highly respected among other life coaches?

      "My little Johnny's an orthopedic surgeon."
      "My little Suzy's a best selling author."
      "My little Timmy's a life coach."
      "OOOOH, YOU BEAT US ALL, DAMMIT!"

      If I can wake up one day, call myself a life coach, and charge people thousands of dollars to guide them in their personal lives without any training whatsoever, that's not respectable. That's ridiculous.

      We usually delete comments with spammy links, but we'll allow this one to slide, if only because we don't think it's going to lead to you gaining a single "client." Our readers are a bit too smart for that.

      Delete
  55. You manage to expose on your part a lame, closed-minded intolerance of the life-style choices and needs of others. You've succeeded in convincing me not that life coaching is bullshit, but quite the contrary, that you're very much into it. I mean the latter. I really want to thank you for your unintended example and impressively unsound advice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always nice to hear the thoughtless ramblings of another life coach. You got your degree out of the bottom of a cereal box, right? That Cap'n Crunch... he knows where it's at!

      Delete
    2. Way off base, but I can share a slight chuckle at the deluded way you grasp at the most unimaginable absurdities. At least you aim to please! You're still stuck in shit, though, there's no way to get around it.

      Delete
    3. I too like to use big words to try to sound smart. Doesn't always work, though. Also, not sure how we're stuck in shit, but we're glad to have gotten your panties in enough of a wad that you keep coming back to comment.

      But hey, a life coach has to justify his/her existence somehow.

      OH, THOSE GUYS THAT MAKE JOKES ON THE INTERNET, THEY JUST MAKE ME SO MAAAAAD. MY CAREER MATTERS, DAMMIT, SO I'M GOING TO KEEP COMMENTING UNTIL THEY REALIZE IT.

      You know, deep down someone might say that it's not US you're trying to convince, but hey, I'm no life coach. :)

      Delete
    4. Actually I'm not a life coach, so it's no big thing either way. I can say in closing that if ever I gave a flying fuck what other people choose to do with their possibly hard-earned money, I won't stop to ask whether it's beneficiaries have a professional degree. Scam artists come in all varieties. Congrats on an otherwise enjoyable site.

      Delete
    5. And all we say in closing is that if you've been around the site, you know we make fun of everyone around here. No one's exempt. We really don't give a flying fuck what people do with their money either. Doesn't mean we can't poke fun at them for it.

      Either way, thanks for stopping by. My life coach says I should thank people when they compliment me. Best $2,000 I ever spent. :)

      Delete
    6. My pleasure. I'm sure I'll sneak a peek or two every now and then, for a quick tickle fix, coach. Be good.

      Delete
    7. My pleasure. I'm sure I'll sneak a peek here every so often for a quick tickle fix. Be good.

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  56. Life coaches don't give advice.
    Sadly the profession is currently unregulated so anybody can call themselves that.

    And yeah that's pretty sad. Especially seeing how Coaches like your character really do exist and really do give "legit" Coaches a bad name.

    Real coaches don't give advice, tell you what to do, or try to "motivate" you.
    They ask questions, challenge your assumptions, and use various creativity exercises to help you think more clearly.

    That type of intervention can be useful for litteraly any task, and that's why you have life coaching for every possible subject under the sun.

    Life coaches don't need to be experts in what you do because, again, (real) coaches don't give advice. They just need to be experts in the coaching techniques, and that's what coaching schools are for.

    There are reputable Coaching associations that certify training institutions and that provide very clear standards and definitions for coaching.

    You might check out coachfederation.org to start.

    Good day.

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    1. Hey, and thanks for the great comment! This post was inspired by someone we both know who's one of these kinds of 'life coaches'. In other words, she woke up one day, decided she was going to be a life coach, and started asking for thousands of dollars to tell people what to do in their lives and in their relationships (even though her own life and past relationships are questionable at best, and she has no experience or certifications whatsoever).

      Which, to us, is just crazy. Imagine if someone woke up one day and said, "I'm a medical doctor now! So I'm going to start taking calls to do general checkups. Who wants an appendectomy?"

      When it comes to anything that involves my very life (mental or physical), I don't think proper certification is too much to ask for.

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