Monday, September 16, 2013

Ales from the Crypt: The Graveyard Shift

Greetings, boys and ghouls. And welcome to another episode of Ales from the Crypt.


One dark and stormy evening, two writers were holed up in their writing shack, working late into the night...


They sat busily composing their next great masterpiece of fiction...


When all of a sudden, tragedy reared its ugly head...






And suddenly, as paranoia set in, the two turned against one another...









And that souvenir, folks, was not the last beer, but the original manuscript for the new book of horror stories that the late writers, Brandon and Bryan, left behind. If they were still alive, they would probably tell you that even though it's not humor, it's their best work yet. And the creepy, skeletal remains of Ann Coulter was delightfully frightened enough that she decided to publish the book posthumously. So, without further ado, put your scabby hands together for the formal release of The Graveyard Shift by Bryan Pedas and Brandon Meyers.


This collection, which isn't so much horror as it is dark fiction, features 9 macabre short stories that explore life, death, and the human morality that lies somewhere in between. It's now available as either a paperback ($11.99) or an e-book ($2.99), and you can find it here.

*** The Graveyard Shift on Amazon ***

And should you want a personalized, signed copy, e-mail us at abeerfortheshower@gmail.com and we'll get you one for only the extra cost of postage. Each copy guaranteed to have a personalized message and the authors' autographs as forcefully recreated by manipulating their corpses' hands! Since, you know, they're dead now.

Cheers and stay breathing, folks,
-the ghosts of B&B

Beer: Rogue Dead Guy Ale
Music: Nine Inch Nails

87 comments:

  1. Congratulations, guys! I'll hop over and pick it up.
    Crypt Keeper, are you going to drink that beer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ann Coulter may not know many things, but she at least knows that a good beer should never be wasted.

      Delete
  2. Congrats! Good time of year for horror stories. Also WELL DONE on that bear drawing, sirs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if you're going to draw a bear with nunchucks, it'd better be done right.

      Delete
  3. Sold! Take my money...oh you already did. Well, that is OK then.

    Love that bear with nunchucks....nun chucks...where is the nun coming from?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The nun's coming from where you least expect her.

      Delete
  4. Good luck and I'm off to Amazon for a ghostly look!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ooooohhhh can't wait to read. Congrats!!! And, I really hope you didn't violate that bear 'cause why else would he be screaming on your lap?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's like a puppet; the hand has to go somewhere...

      Delete
  6. Like that fart I once brewed for three days straight, I've been looking forward to this release. Not that your work is comparable to a fart or anything. Oh god no.

    As much as I would love your signatures on paper for fraud/bragging rights, I think I'll go for the ebook version, simply because I don't have space for a hard copy. I will be purchasing this post haste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We'd still be happy to sign your ebook. Or a body part. Just mail it to us, and we'll make sure it gets returned signed and (relatively) unmolested.

      Delete
  7. I do enjoy dark stories. Probably more than I enjoy comedy actually. I don't think I can actually buy it yet (might as well be honest, eh?) but it's definitely on the wish list. I do think you guys might have turned to murder a little quickly. I wouldn't want to fight a bear with nunchucks either. That just sounds dangerous. Too dangerous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, don't be honest! Lie to us! Tell us you bought twelve!

      (Nah, that's cool. We understand)

      Delete
  8. Should've gave the other bear a Nokia 3310, would've won.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congrats on another run, off to amazon's sun. Are you guys humping the bear? No wonder it looks so angry lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but we're not "let's hump a bear to make it angry" stupid. I hope.

      Delete
  10. Congrats on your new book, guys! And wow, Ann Coulter is looking DAMN good these days! I see she got her Adam's apple shaved too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it just rotted off, but either way, she looks much better than she did before.

      Delete
  11. Great use of the Hemingway quote!

    I'm still waiting for your historical romance novel, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We just need to find a period in time most likely to have acid spitting robo-llamas. Then the magic (and the romance) will begin.

      Delete
  12. CONGRATS GUYS!! I'll definitely be getting this one x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats on the new book, stories you say? Cool. Bought the eBook for now.
    Your inner beast is bear? No bud not macho. You can't call your inner beast as bear, puppy or kitty.
    Your inner beast can't be appeased or seduced or tamed with pack of crackers or pot of honey or pound of salmon or a ball. You might as well put a tutu on your inner beast. Nunchakus - still a teddy is always a teddy. Hmmm. Next time unleash lion or anaconda or something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about that acid spitting robo-llama mentioned above? He badass enough for you?

      Delete
    2. I am talking about Neanderthals and Tarzan and you are pulling a "come with me if you want to live" and "hills have eyes" , acid spitting ? Was he bred under NY sewer or something? :)
      Your Halloween release is cool, I think I am in love with your necromania lad. Kinda psycho vibe. Good one. That house sitter one needs cliff notes.
      Congrats and this collection is cool and I am liking it so far. But favorite one still remains "into the vortex"

      Ask Katy to read that necromania lad to get preview of your future romantic novel.

      Delete
    3. Wow, you are fast! How far are you through it? Did you already finish? Are you already writing the sequel?

      Delete
  14. Excited about your new book. I LOve dark stories. I'm raising my mug of cervesa in you guy's honor, and I'm heading over check it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Raising a mug of beer at 7:20 in the morning? My kinda girl! Cheers!

      Delete
  15. Very soon now, I will be moving into a new job which will require me to work "graveyard" shifts. I probably really should get a copy of your new book, BEER BOYS, just to, you know, keep me awake all night.

    Perfect Beer/Music combination for this post!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The opening story of the collection is actually about a guy on the graveyard shift discovering this old book full of short stories. So basically, if you were to read this book of short stories while on the graveyard shift, about a guy reading short stories on the graveyard shift, I'm pretty sure you'd just rip a hole in the space/time continuum and destroy the planet.

      Delete
  16. I'm going to do the ebook too because, well, I'm not easy but I'm cheap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A man with morals, I see. I'm both of those things, and not ashamed of it.

      Delete
  17. Congratulations on yet another book release! I'll buy the eBook as soon as possible. I'd buy a hardcopy, but that new-book-smell makes me nauseous. Looking forward to reading it, and I hope to God there's a chupacabra in it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Warning: after reading the first story in the collection, the eBook will probably still make you nauseous. There is so, so much gratuitous chupacabra sex...

      Delete
  18. You guys. Releasing new work so consistently. I hope it goes well for you! I still have to finish everything I do have. S***

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to censor your words here, D4. You're among friends. Sing those swear words loud and proud.

      Delete
  19. I love you guys. That is so funny. lol

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulations!
    I will check into the book.
    That looks EXACTLY like Ann Coulter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally, I think our rendition of her was a little generous.

      Delete
  21. Congratulations guys! Glad a creative partnership didn't die over a little can of beer. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the creativity lives on even if we're both dead as doornails.

      Delete
  22. I don't read horror or dark fiction, but you two dead guys are worthy of my making an exception. I'll be placing an order. CONGRATULATIONS! It's great to see you're not hesitant to cross-genres. And you don't live in San Francisco. Great promo for your book too.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, if the story's good, we'll write it, regardless of genre. Stay tuned for our next novel, which will be an erotic space opera/Spaghetti western.

      Thanks, Robyn. You rock!

      Delete
  23. Until I read some of the comments I thought the bear was holding a paint roller, not nunchucks. And I was like "AHHHH!!! PAINT ROLLER!!!!"

    Congrats on the new book guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was a paint roller too.

      Delete
    2. Doesn't matter whether it's a paint roller or nunchucks, really. If a bear is coming at you with something, you'd better get the fuck out of the way!

      Delete
  24. What if I want an autographed eBook?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We can send you a digitally signed copy, which is guaranteed to be as illegible as a chicken-scratched paperback copy!

      Delete
  25. For the record....a bear with nunchuks is not scary.

    Why, you might ask.....

    A bear CANNOT use nunchuks! He hasn't got an opposable thumb for Pete's sake!

    Now a gorilla with nunchuks, on the other hand...THAT's scary...

    Ann Coulter as the crypt-keeper.....priceless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We took that into account, and the nunchucks were actually superglued to his paw. After all, here at A Beer for the Shower we are devoted to the utmost scientific accuracy with our posts.

      Delete
  26. Yay for a new book! And just in time for grocery stores to be putting out all their Halloween candy! Well done, guys!

    See you in the afterlife...or, you know, haunting the nearest liquor store. MuaHaHa...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure they serve beer in heaven, so if we're haunting a liquor store that means... well, things didn't turn out so great for us. But hey, at least we've sold a few books, so that's a decent trade off to burning for eternity.

      Delete
  27. Oh, man, I'm sooo behind. I'm still working on zombies, because I just don't have any time to do any computer reading lately.
    >sigh<
    I'm picking up the e-copy, but I reserve the right for a signed copy later, if I decide to.
    By the way, because something -just- made me remember: do you know that status of that copy of Spinner?
    (Email me, though, too busy to subscribe to comments today.)

    ReplyDelete
  28. If its as good as 'Lost and Found' I'm in. Well, I guess I'm in anyway...I'll let you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not just as good as Lost and Found. It's better. And you can trust our completely biased opinion.

      Delete
  29. Yay! Congratulations guys!

    Also, my new favourite melee weapon is now a bear with nunchucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, and for a good long range weapon, don't rule out the classic "bear with rocket launcher."

      Delete
  30. Congrats on the new book guys...or are you technically ghosts now?...or are you ghouls? Of course, I will buy one because I can really say I bought a book that was written by a ghost writer...and mean it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, gender-wise we're not ghouls. We're boils.

      (You can thank the Crypt Keeper for that lame pun)

      Delete
  31. Oh shit! If I wasn't already deathly afraid of horror at the very mention of "Ann Coulter" (who has never looked better by-the-way) I would be super into this. But I am terrified of daily life, that's why I drink as much as I do, to dull the senses that make me aware of the trials of general human existence. Is it possible to enjoy this book on another level or am I going to run screaming like it's a Goosebumps novel?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can enjoy this book on whatever levels gruesome murder, necrophilia, and eternal suffering has to offer. Or, at least we hope you'll enjoy it. After all, we're no R.L. Stine. We're too "pretty." That guy has a face made for horror novels.

      Delete
  32. Another book! I think you write books more often than most people write blog posts.

    From now on when I threaten people, I'm going to say that I will sic a bear with nunchucks after them. It's even better than my mom attacking them with a ski ball!

    Also, the timing was perfect. I went Halloween shopping today (well, round one of Halloween shopping) and after decorating the bathroom with fake blood and a toilet lid cover of a zombie trying to crawl out of it, I heard weird noises when I was in the shower. (It could have been the animals running around but that would take away the perfect timing.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, don't look at us. We don't haunt showers. We may write fucked up stories, but we draw the line at ghostly voyeurism.

      Delete
  33. I have been waiting for this post for what seems like forever! No, not because you made fun of Anne Coulter, (I happen to enjoy her rantings from time to time). Because I've been waiting for this book to be released!! I got my copy now lets hope my Kindle will connect to the wifi....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Elsie! I promise this book will be a lot more interesting than Ann Coulter's insane rantings (not hard, but still).

      Delete
  34. That bear seems pissed off. Going to check it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going to check out the book or going to check out the bear? In either case - beware.

      Delete
  35. Hey, congrats! As you know, I can't read stuff that is too creepy or I get graphic nightmares, but I will order this for Mr. RK.

    Where can I get one of those bears for work? Do they come with nunchuks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They don't come with the nunchucks, but the knowledge of how to expertly use them... it's practically embedded in their bear DNA.

      Delete
  36. Entering credit card details now! Anne Coulter looks rather gaunt, has she been receiving Bone-Tox treatment? The bear looks disturbingly like my ex mother-in-law, maybe it's just excess Guinness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not gonna lie, that Bone-Tox pun is so deliciously corny that I wish I had used that for this post. The real Crypt Keeper would be proud.

      Delete
  37. Comics, short stories and now horror, does your talent ever end? Love the new 'look' Ann Coulter has...Gotta go check out Amazon, congrats :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next we're getting into Mexican telenovelas. Gotta keep things diverse!

      Delete
  38. But.. it's not even halloween yet!
    Congratulations on another release, seems like it's going booming already!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And hey, who needs Halloween as an excuse to read a few fucked up stories?

      Delete
  39. OK, first of all, that was so funny that it made me spit out my Breakfast Strudel Featuring Cheese Product (TM!).

    Secondly, I'm going to buy the book. Congrats on the new book!

    Thirdly, Ann looks like she's put on a little weight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you kindly, sir! I hope you were able to scoop up some of those cheese-like particles and put them back into your face.

      Also, I think Ann's just heavier because of some baby weight. Not from having a baby, from eating them.

      Delete
  40. Congrats guys! Heading to Amazon now. Just a thought - Ann Coulter is scarier looking in real life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'd hate her a lot less if she constantly made cheesy, death-related puns that ended in wild cackling.

      Delete
  41. Well done guys, this is just awesome, hoping that this book is a roving success!

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  42. You know I'm going to buy one ;)

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  43. AWESOME! Not that you both met an untimely demise, but that I have an item to add to my Amazon Wish List! I mean, that you released another book. THAT is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  44. How did Ann Coulter get the beer without the two bears getting it first and/or mauling her? One of them had nun-chuks.

    MASSIVE PLOT HOLE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All Ann Coulter had to do was open her mouth. Like a shrieking banshee, her voice was enough to shatter both bears' ear drums instantly.

      Delete
  45. Congratulations on another new book guys. Pity you are both dead or you could have bought more beer from the income.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Congratulations on the new book! You guys are becoming amazingly prolific.

    ReplyDelete
  47. And here I thought the tragedy was going to be that it was a Colt45. Silly me... that's why people don't pay me to write.

    Congrats on the book!!

    ReplyDelete