Monday, July 1, 2013

Cookin With Paula Deen Y'all

As some of you may know, celebrity cook Paula Deen was recently fired by the Food Network and dropped by a ton of her sponsors because she used the n-word 30 years ago.

We don't tolerate racism of any form on this blog (except for those worthless, goddamned good-for-nothing Latvians), so we went way, way back into the past to figure out if we'd ever said anything inappropriate. And 25 years ago, when we were both 4, we recalled this...


That was incredibly insensitive to the Native American culture, so we fired Bryan on the spot. But not to worry, we brought another co-host to replace him: Paula Deen. Because apparently she's without a job now.

Paula Deen diabetes funny


Paula Deen n word





Paula Deen racist

And with that, we fired her and brought Bryan back. Because as we said, we don't tolerate racism or prejudice of any kind on this blog.

white racial slurs funny

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
B&B

Music: Cake
Beer: Modus Hoperandi

Paula Deen racist controversy

62 comments:

  1. I am also considering dropping Paula Dean.
    I love a good bandwagon.

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  2. Hilarious!
    I saw the Washington Redskins play live once. Should I fire myself? And I watched Blazing Saddles last week and laughed. I should probably fire myself for that as well.

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    1. I watched 25 seconds of a Katt Williams stand-up DVD. I heard the n-word dropped so many times I should never be eligible to hold employment for the rest of my natural life.

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  3. I'm not familiar with Paula Dean. Is she the girl from that song?

    Paula Dean is not my lover. She's just some girl who thinks that I am the one...

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  4. Sure, her saying the n-word was bad, but is it really more offensive than her promotion of the least healthy eating habits imaginable? I'm really surprised that with all the ranting he does, Gordon Ramsey hasn't let something racist slip out. Also, my family is racist, can I fire them? Better yet, can you do it for me?

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  5. I'd have to be locked away if that were the case,after all I've heard

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  6. She should drop the whole cooking act and become a rapper. I hear they make millions off dropping the n-word regularly.

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  7. Apparently, if you make an extremely violent movie using that word several hundred times, and pretend that it's about slavery, then it's alright. You get an Oscar nomination!

    To be fair, she admitted to using the word recently, and didn't she make her black employees use separate toilets and entrances? Pretty shitty thing to do. If that's true, then I think she deserves what she got.

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    1. No she doesn't deserve this. She wasn't the only one, we are products of our environment, everyone did so in her time.
      see not just blacks, in entire human evolution cruelty was exhibited and authorized and approved and justified in the name of religion.suppression and oppression had many victims women, Jews, blacks, gays. And in India still lower castes they were denied education,water, and their life was dictated on to whom they were born.

      If you did something wrong when you didn't know that was wrong is acceptable as long as you realize and apologize and don't do it again. What they are doing yo Paula seen is beyond justification and just PC gone out of bounds.

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    2. No, she admitted to using the word RECENTLY, not 30 years ago. Just because we are products of our environment doesn't mean that we should continue our bigoted views. There have been masses of anti-racist movements, surely she knows that this is wrong behavior?

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    3. We could endlessly debate about this. Where we grow up and how we are brought up makes lot of difference. We are human after all. How do you know that you can drink applejuice but not beer if you are less than 16 years old and how do you know that caffeine isn't same as alcohol. Unless someone tells us and teaches us.
      In olden days killing enemies was considered brave and today empathy is given importance and we even look for non-caged animals. Humans and civilization evolve.
      Totally eradicating racism , not sure whether it is possible. Early days people hating each other for doing different jobs, and then religion, then gender and then when world started to shrink they started to hate people with different eye color, hair color and later skin color.even if everyone looks same, still they will differentiate themselves based on birth or something beyond visible features , because they need to hate someone to feel good about themselves.

      Wrong behaviour? 30 years? Come on, I have done many things 5 years or yesterday which I regret today. We are human after all. I appreciate her honesty and she didn't kill anyone come on she uttered a word when a gun was held to your head. We are too thin skinned?


      Personally I prefer a open racist over those condescending patronizing nutjobs, who knock my door, mock my belief and asking me to ask for forgiveness so that they could promise me heaven else cursing me hell in all sugarcoated crap and even dare to ask me questions like "how do you tolerate gays?"

      Closet racists and chauvinists and blood hungry wolves are the ones that should put on guillotine not this woman.


      What did she do? Uttered a word? And is she the only one? Then why her?

      Delete
    4. Actually, she does deserve this, but for completely different reasons.

      See, she was sued for much more than racism. She fostered a toxic workplace and did nothing about it, and this became public knowledge. As a public figure, this makes her an absolute embarrassment.

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  8. Don't worry, Fox News will hire her any day now.

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  9. I knew she got fired but it was something she said thirty years ago? That's just insane. That was thirty years ago. Times have changed and I imagine she probably has too. At least now we have the original cast and so we don't end up splitting the followers between people who prefer Paula Deen and people who prefer Bryan.

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  10. The TV ads for the new Lone Ranger flick make it appear that Johnny Depp talkems likem Bryan was talking when you fired him. I probably won't see the movie, so I'll have to find out about how un-PC the language is from the internet. The same way I found out about sex and how to build a dirty bomb.

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  11. Does that mean I won't have to see her ludicrously air-brushed picture on the cover of every magazine on Earth looking a 60 year old porcelain doll?

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  12. LOL as said she'll have her own reality show, or go on that stupid channel with that nancy grace nutjob

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  13. You crazy ass crackers cracked me up! I especially loved Paula's parting shot which made me GOL.

    Once, when I was a wee li'l White child, I had the choice between a black puppy dog and a white puppy dog. I chose the white one only because I was afraid the black one would keep me awake every night rappin' at the back door.

    Should I get a job and then fire myself?

    Funny stuffs, Beer Boys!

    ~ Stephen

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    1. I feel your pain. I have a black cat (MacCATver) and she's always breaking into my room and stealing my stuff. My white dog, on the other hand, just doesn't do that. Is it a racial thing, or is the cat just a victim of her upbringing? That upbringing, of course, being from me.

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  14. Damn, I hope something I might have said 30 years ago doesn't come back and bit me in the ass. I am glad you brought Bryan back. You just don't have the chemistry with Paula. Maybe she will get a reality show because there are NOT enough of them on TV.

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  15. THIS is the way this subject should have been treated from the start!!!

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  16. Great mockery and use of the word "niggardly", guys. You were cute 4 year olds too. What's niggling at me is how much richer she'll be from all the controversy, and the fake mascara-filled tears she produces when interviewed.

    xoRobyn

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    1. Why thank you. We just figure that we shouldn't be niggardly when it comes to using the word niggardly.

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  17. This is my favourite thing I've read in weeks. So, about your big meat..

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  18. OH MY GOSH! so many things made me laugh with this I don't even know where to start my comment. The cartoon of Paula and running commentary is so freaking funny- and well drawn BTW! The signage in the background, the apron...oh man. I could go on and on. Fantastic job on this post guys!

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  19. FINALLY, a post about Mz. Dean that makes sense. Can't figure out what the big y'all is about anyway. It's about time somebody 'got the hook' on that woman.

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  20. I love that wall hanging. And you just made Paula Deen tolerable. Congrats!

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  21. What really bothers me is that her new cookbook, which hasn't been released yet, has shot to #1 on the Amazon charts because of this. So why should she care if she gets fired?
    Makes me want to... I don't know... something scandalous to get my book to go to #1 on the charts.

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  22. Only you guys could take this and make it down right fun. I am tired of listening to all the people jumping on the bandwagon to distance themselves from Paula Deen. I totally understand why they want to distance themselves...really that accent is so annoying even from a Southerner's perspective....but a 30 year old racial slur????

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  23. I've been following this on some social networks, a storm in a teacup?

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  24. THIS is topping my list of reasons why I love y'all.

    (Sorry, I've been MIA, I'm so proud of you for diligently pressing on without me. I know it must have been difficult.)

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    1. Somehow we managed to trudge on, knowing that if we kept posting, one day you might return...

      (But really though, we're glad to see you back. So hi!)

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  25. Boys this may well be one of your finest posts ever. That sign in the background is so funny. Seriously though, I thought white people down South still use this word in every day speaking. So really, you can't blame her, she's a product of her environment:)

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  26. Good one "b&b". This whole Paula Deen thing is such a shame. Seriously? How low can people go?
    Moral of the story,
    "americans now they need a scapegoat to hate and their favorite past time if to beat the deadhorse.

    Bart to boy Lisa "pick a boy weaker than you and beat him up". Why did they to on Paula Deen? Why not mitt Romney or sick Santorum or all those hate-spewing Republicans or that stupid American plague - NRA? Or those "white genocide" homogenization warriors the keyboard warriors from momma basements?

    This whole thing is insanse and out-of-the-world stupid. When did she say this world? Before 3 decades and in private and when she had a gun to her head. Yeah right.

    Yeah she should lied and be dishonest instead telling the truth.

    This whole PC thing is now the new Nazi. What? People are going to drop me for using n-word?

    and they are offended by plantation party theme and n-word?

    I am offeneded by the fact that she plays that patronizing movie "the help" in her cruise :)

    Imagine if there was a movie about British India and had story only about a white gal saving Indian women from Indian men and sati and nothing about colonization or loot by British and or about freedom struggle or slavery.

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  27. LOLOL! While we were on vacation my daughter referred to someone as a total Cheapspic. I think it was made up. I'm pretty sure she's never heard that particular slur and was trying to say cheapskate, but I don't think I helped matters much by doubling over with laughter.

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  28. This really made me laugh. I don't endorse racism but for me racism has to have an element of hatred behind it to be truly evil. I think the reaction to Paula Deen has been pretty abhorrent, she made a mistake no doubt but the Food Network were pretty cruel. Saying that I'm glad she didn't last too long in this blog, I don't know if I could deal with her haha, like you say it was extreme her using those words so soon after the controversy!

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  29. LAWD, this was funny and you captured Paula's true spirit. I do hope we hear about Bryan's big meat in another post.

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  30. While she is a likeable enough person, she has thoroughly run her course and needs to just go away.

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  31. Is it wrong that I am laughing my ass off? I somehow doubt that she used that word once 30 years ago, IMHO. But mostly she's just annoying.

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  32. Was it really 30 years ago? I don't keep up enough to know these things.

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  33. Ha! Racism is just adorable when it's covered in butter.

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  34. Brandon had quite the five o'clock shadow as a four year old, didn't he.

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  35. I heard some of my coworkers talking about it the other day. "I'm not racist but, I don't see why they fired Paula Deen. Everyone uses that word now." I almost banged my head on the hostess stand but then I realized that would hurt me, not kill stupidity.

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  36. She's lost so many endorsements and contracts so quickly I think these folks were just looking for a reason to dump her. Rush Limbaugh, one of the consistently most offensive people on the planet, didnt start losing sponsors after calling Sandra Fluke a "slut" until public pressure was brought to bear. And that took months.

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  37. Btw I seriously doubt she only said it 30 yrs ago. Who the hell would say that to someone while they held you at gunpoint during a bank robbery up in a bank as Ms Deen claims?

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    1. As I understand it, she didn't call the gunman this name to his face. She was held up by a black guy, and later called him an N-word while relating the story to her husband.

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  38. You guys are just crack up, you albino wonder bread honky-ass crackers...hey I can say that, cause I'm a cracker too, albeit more of a whole wheat cracker these days...Oh man, am I going to get fired now or in 30 years? Keep up the funny work you milk toast honkeys you...:)

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  39. It is high time you atoned for your insensitivity to Native Americans.

    I think you should apologize to them for stealing their land and for naming football teams after them.

    One might argue that if she did not say the word....WAIT FOR IT...."nigger" on or while under contract to the Food Network, what business it was of theirs.

    But we're such a whipped country of sheep that people will say she said (gasp) the "N" word rather than just sayin she said "nigger."

    (Gasp!) I typed the "N" word twice!

    It's people like that McCarthy feller we need to make an example of!

    Judging a dog by the color of his fur! That's racist!

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    1. Hey, back when she was giving people diabetes 7 days a week by cooking such gems as "Krispy Kreme burgers" and "deep fried butter balls" she was a real role model for the American people. But now that she's said that word, we just can't look up to her to guide us like we once did.

      Oh, and for typing the N-word twice, I assume you're going to be fired from the Internet. You'll also be hearing from my dog's lawyer. She can't read, but I tried describing racism to her through aggressive hand gestures, and I can only assume she is opposed to it.

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    2. The thought police are knocking at my door...

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    3. Better than a black dog rappin' at your back door.

      ~ Stephen

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  40. Can you imagine if everyone that said something racist was fired? No one would be working. Anywhere. Ever.

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  41. God, sometimes the world seems a crazy place to me. I had no idea who Paula Deen was but from the controversy she has produced i thought she must have been a senator or something else somewhat important. To find out she is on a tv cooking show is somewhat of a let down. damn !

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  42. I am afraid to comment for fear that I might use an offensive word. Niggas will get all upset and shit and we can't have that. I have kids to take care of so I can't be having some crazy ass cracker firing me like I'm some kind of nigga!

    But seriously, this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. The world has gone mad with this PC shit. And then they wonder why people are going on shooting sprees! The PC craze forces insanity!

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  43. Paula is 51% owner of three restaurants where employees are regularly sexually harrassed, intimidated, and subjected to racist comments and treatment; she was made aware of the situation by one of the managers and took no action. That's the reason she is being dropped, not just for using the "n" word.

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    1. This is true, but it's funny that all the attention goes toward the n-word and not toward any of those other things, right?

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    2. Maybe true but with the media history I have hard time understanding or believing something. They seem to have expertise in building mountain out of mole and turn mountain to a mole.
      Travon case : screwdriver turned into a burgalry device.
      Dharun Ravi case : webcam view of shared room for few minutes of two shirtless guys by accident became " spying and gay sex video uploaded to internet " and and later as " live streaming".

      Now Paula Deen thing is latest scapegoat thing in "hate club" America.

      I watched a satire documentary in Netflix about "conferederate states of America" instead of USA if south had won civil war. That's what this all looks like.

      Media cam turn heroes to zeroes in a day don't they?

      Delete
  44. This is one of your best posts, Beer Boys! I love the words you used - niggling, niggardly - very creative. My favorite part though is Bryan's t-shirt at the end. It had me laughing so hard.

    Also, I love that you guys were listening to Cake. One of my favorite bands.

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  45. Only 10,000 niggawatts? What is this? A kitchen for ants?

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  46. I think it's funny when white people pretend to be offended by the word "cracker." If anyone called me a "cracker" I wouldn't have time to be offended in between laughing at that person.

    But the REAL news in this post is Sachin Thil's comment, just above mine! I too prefer to read quality content and am happy to find out many point here! In fast, I share so many things in common with Sachin Thil who is definitely a real person that I will probably google the phrase "OPS 571 Final Exam material provider" and see if that, too, is something that Sachin Thil and I feel strongly (and similarly!) about!

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