This week Brandon and his girlfriend have had the absolute pleasure of having her niece and nephew stay with them. And it's been great, because even though Brandon has zero experience taking care of children or pre-teens, he's discovered it's actually kinda easy. And fun! Or maybe that's just because he has no idea what he's doing. Regardless, he's learned a few things.
First off, people make way too big a deal about potty training. It's incredibly easy. Just remember, people discriminate against age, but diapers don't.
Brandon also learned that diapers for pre-teens are called 'Depends,' and it's so much harder to wrestle them onto an eleven year old than it is to put them on a baby.
But that wasn't the only challenge. Feeding them can be tricky, too. We thought that children were notorious for eating anything they can get their grubby little hands on, but apparently that's not true. Especially of newborns.
Who knew babies could be so ungrateful?
Brandon also learned that children need a lot of attention. Like, for some reason they always want you to watch them. "Watch me climb this tree!" "Watch me fly this toy helicopter!" "Watch me ungracefully fall off this bike!"
I think we're both still developing that skill where we learn to feign interest over a child's mundane accomplishments.
Oh, Brandon also learned that it's really easy to make them cry.
But it's not without its rewards. We've both learned that it's really easy to make kids laugh. And as comedians, there's nothing more satisfying than being able to shut off your brain and unleash a torrent of fart jokes, rather than straining to come up with biting satire or razor sharp wit...
Kinda like we do with the blog on a bi-weekly basis.
So we may never fully understand kids, but we'll always understand the timeless art of the fart joke. Perhaps we have some common ground with children after all.
|"Farting in Good Cheer" by Richard Newton, 1798|
Beer: Stella Artois