Hi folks. Today we're going to be taking a look at nature's cruelest animal: the domesticated house cat. Because, let's face it, your cat is an asshole. You know it, I know it, and the dog knows it. And yet we excuse it because they're cute. If these same behaviors were exhibited by people, would it still be acceptable? We think not.
So without further ado, here are a few reasons why your cat is a real dick.
1) Because an innocent head scratch...
...will invariably turn into a game of "hey, look at my anus."
2) And if petting doesn't make him want to expose himself, it will surely bring out his masochistic side.
That's right, you pet your cat, and for 10 seconds he's happy. Until he decides he's suddenly not and bites your arm off.
3) Public showers? Yes please!
4)Your cat's brain is the size of a cashew. And yet, he's such a snob.
But in all fairness, the taste of an asshole is probably pretty comparable to the taste of light American beer.
So there you have it. Just a few reasons why your cat is an asshole. Hell, ours are too. So, why do we excuse it?
Oh, right. That cutesy crap.
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Music: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros