Today we give you the top 5 TV shows that didn't age gracefully.
1. Happy Days.
|The King of Cool: a stocky, middle aged goober.|
Back in the day, Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli was considered cool. He was a hip greaser who didn't take nonsense from anyone. But looking back, "The Fonz" was just a chubby, 5'6", almost 40 year old Henry Winkler in a leather jacket. How "cool" would "The Fonz" be by today's standards of badassery?
Please contain your orgasms, ladies.
2. The Incredible Hulk
|Apparently Bruce Banner and the Hulk went to senior prom together.|
Back in the day, Lou Ferrigno was a badass Hulk that no one wanted to mess with. Nowadays we have CGI Hulk who's 20 feet tall and can smash a skyscraper into dust with a single punch. Suddenly, watching 5'9" Bruce Banner transform into the Hulk, aka a 6'3" deaf bodybuilder slathered in green paint and a mullet wig just doesn't seem as 'incredible'. He looks about as fearsome as the Jolly Green Giant.
Having a 20 foot tall Hulk breathing down on you? Absolutely horrifying. Having a guy that's a few inches taller than you get in your face? Intimidating, sure, but not exactly fearsome.
3. Knight Rider
|Never Hassle the Hoff...|
And with that, a trip to McDonald's was more technologically advanced than an entire episode of Knight Rider.
Oh, and for the record, we aren't drinking beer while driving, we're drinking water in a Coors Light bottle, so that it has the faint taste of beer. So, in other words, we're just drinking Coors Light.
4. The Dukes of Hazzard...
|This single picture pretty much sums up the plot of every Dukes of Hazzard episode ever made.|
What's that? Apparently gang members don't take kindly to rednecks waving the Confederate flag in their hood. Now, speaking of gangs...
5. Hill Street Blues
|Apparently one of the police officers was homeless (the guy in the beanie, not the black guy, you racist).|
Finally, let's not forget the show that inspired this post: Hill Street Blues, which happened to include ABftS frequenter, fellow beer enthusiast, and all around good guy Stephen T. McCarthy among its actual cast. We had to include this one because, well, the plot is centered around the police gathering all of the city's racially-centered gangs into their own police station, and then asking them to be nice with one another while the president comes to town (because they don't want to look like assholes in front of The Big Cheese). Because we all know letting the city's most dangerous gang members know about the president coming to town (and his whereabouts) is a brilliant idea.
Oh, and did we mention that the "gangs" are led by such tough guys as a scrawny, 25 year old David Caruso?
|Mere mortals - tremble before my top hat, green vest, and buck teeth.|
This show got rave reviews, and yet imagine if that same scenario played out today, with Barack Obama coming to visit.
Later that day, the Crip absolutely killed the Blood... in a double's match!
There we go, proof that TV doesn't always age with grace. But I'm sure we didn't list them all. What did we miss?
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Beer: Leffe Blonde
Music: Dire Straits