Thursday, May 9, 2013

Extreme Makeover: Amanda Bynes Edition

Hey all! Great news! Today we got a makeover from the great Amanda Bynes!

You may remember Amanda Bynes as the cutesy teen who starred in the WB sitcom "What I Like About You" or the movie "She's the Man." You know, back when she looked like this:


Well now, thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery, burning out, and going batshit insane, she looks like this:



She's recently taken her antics to Twitter, where she's tweeted such gems as "I'm 135 lbs, which means I'm 35 lbs too fat" and "I shaved off the side of my hair, this is the new me! Isn't it great?" She also asked rapper Drake if he would "murder her vagina."

So without further ado, let's turn things over to Amanda!















And so Bryan went into anaphylactic shock and almost died, and Brandon spent so much time feeling himself up that he neglected to feed himself and passed out from nutritional deficiency. But thanks to all that time not eating, we're both a waifish 95 lbs and looking as trim (and sexy) as ever for our upcoming film debut. And the only thing we've had to sacrifice is our health, our dignity, and our sanity.

Because if Amanda Bynes has taught us anything today, it's that it's important to be true to yourself.

Cheers and stay classy, folks!

-B&B

Beer: Negro Modelo
Music: The Lumineers

59 comments:

  1. Wow she really has gone just a little bit mental. I think you guys need to watch out that you don't get caught up in the insanity of stardom too. It seems to happen to pretty much everyone in "the biz".

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  2. Awww I feel bad for her. She was such a cute talented little kid. Maybe the crazy was always there, and that's why she was so good at acting? Or you know, drugs.

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  3. Brandon, will you ever leave the house again? You're like your own girlfriend now.

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  4. We are listening to the same music right now- cool. The Lumineers rock.

    Poor, sad Amanda Bynes. She's making Lindsay Lohan look calm cool and collected. All kidding aside, as a mom of three girls watching kids like her self-destruct right before America's eyes, absolutely terrifies me!

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  5. This seriously surprises me (and makes me throw up a little... actually a lot) because I could've sworn that she had seemed down to earth and that I had read she was in college after that last show with Jenny what's-her-face ended. Such a shame.

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  6. woah, I loved her...well as much as I care for TV people..I didn't know she has changed that much, she always came across so normal....also butt chin. I. Love. It! Like oh my gosh that is totally amazeballs.

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  7. "And yet I'm not complaining" -- hahahahahaha!

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  8. This is shocking guys and honestly I don't think that I can laugh too much because I feel kind of sad, I mean your post is hilarious and oh so true but I loved her in She's The Man and to see her become like this isn't just sad but it's downright depressing, damn.

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  9. I've always hated her since on Nickelodeon her show The Amanda Show replaced the awesome Kenan and Kel. I would of never expected her to lose all her marbles.

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  10. *Whack, whack, whack* "Bring in the dancing lobsters," or should I say, "dancing crabs." Wayoooh! (Really horrible attempt at an Amanda Bynes Show reference)

    But, wow, I was wondering what happened to her. Not that she was a particularly good actress, but at least she was easy to look at. Haven't people realized that plastic surgery is a scandal aiming decrease the number of beautiful people in the world, and therefore, making the "hot" crowd increasingly limited, exclusive, and rare?

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  11. If I had boobs like that I wouldn't leave them alone either!

    And man, she got herself a case of the uglies right quick!

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  12. She went down the shitter completely, Brandon never has to leave the house again.

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  13. Bein' true to yourself, while rockin' that escaped mental patient look can't be easy. HOpe you guys never change -- that much!

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  14. Hot stuff there, BEER BOYS!

    Bryan's got that "Rock Jawson" look, and Brandon's going with the Dude-Looks-Like-A-Serena-"Steroids"-Williams style.

    You boys... uhm... girls(?) never looked hotter!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  15. You're not supposed to talk about them, it only feeds their ego. Any attention is good attention for them.

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  16. Aw, sheesh. I didn't know she looked like that nowadays. If that's what fame does to you, I'm pretty sure I've made the right choice to not have a career at all. Whatsoever. Sounds better than admitting I'm just too lazy, anyway.

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  17. I think she's nuts because of all the times she's fallen and hit her head due to the overwhelming size of those implants which must cause her to topple over.

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  18. She's now my favorite Lindsay Lohan.

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  19. Bryan's new face... it's perfect. Nailed it, good job. (Also, do those new boobs of your really honk when squeezed? Where can I get those, 'tis pretty hot.)
    Seriously though, stuff like this really grinds my gears. They all start as innocent, beautiful girls in some Disney show or something, but in they end they all end up the same. Corrupted, obsessed with "beauty", and just downright stupid.

    Also, thanks again for the comment! Valid point, and will try to keep that in mind next time I write. (I'll probably end up making the same mistake a few more times, but eh, I'll get there eventually.)

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  20. I don't know Amanda Byrne, and now I'm rather thankful that I'm behind on American showbiz gossip. I've just learned that Janet Jackson showed a nipple, and that's more than enough for me, thankyouverymuch.

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  21. Gee, I hope she's available to make me over. Drinking bees is obviously the new rage.
    In all honesty, she makes me sad. I used to really like her, thought she was very pretty, etc. She's just lost it.

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  22. I don't know her, but damn, her after picture looks nasty.

    It's nice to know you guys are all Hollywood and all. Now you can say you're the 'cool' kids and shop at Abercrombie & Fitch. ;)

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  23. This makes me sad. She was damn funny back in the day.

    Oh, well. Stay thirsty, my friends. (I've been lookin' for an excuse to say that)

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  24. Jesus she's shocking, that's fecking sad!

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  25. Girlfran got 99 problems but a fat ass movie script ain't one.

    xoxo Dolls!

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  26. I need a new law to ban these selfportrait-iphone-bathroom ones. Too many of them, too many, too many.
    Or atleast an app that would disable your iphone camera once you enter the restroom or any room with a mirror.
    Or I want government to put blackpaint over all the pictures that have a person and a iphone and a mirror just like how they do it to all the pictures of woman in middle east.

    That half shaved head reminds me of , In Lil wayne's voice "Miley Cyrussss" ...

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  27. You have raised the bar by lowering it. I love this, especially Brandon's off-balanced nipples and horseshoe shaped abs.

    I never knew why Amanda Byrnes is famous. Now I know - she made you two into clones of herself, though you're much prettier.

    xoRobyn

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  28. Holy crap! She destroyed her face that completely in a matter of what, 3 years? So sad. She'll never be as pretty as she was before, no matter what she does in the future. Ugh. Freaking Botox, plastic surgery, and collagen injections. Who said those things were ever a good idea?

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  29. At first I denied your statements. That doesn't look like the Ms Bynes I once watched on tv. She had silicone chesticles and her nose was off. However, she did have a nose job, and even though it's not a certified account it is the first one to come up when I googled so... Thanks guys. For like, ruining my childhood sex fantasies. I really needed to get over that, just wrong.

    I like plastic Bryan. He kinda reminds me of Robert Pattinson. Ahem.

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  30. What does that mean, "murder her vagina"? Never mind, I don't want to know.

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  31. My male theater major from Texas (yes, he came out the summer after his first year) college roommate was a little bit obsessed with Amanda.

    Personally, I enjoy watching female entertainers breakdown from a safe distance.

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  32. Maybe she wasn't asking Drake to fornicate (aww I made it grosser by using technical terms!) but maybe she thinks her pussy is actually talking to her and literally wants Drake to murder her pussy so that her pussy stops telling her to do these strange things to herself. Like Son of Sam but instead of her dog, it's her pussy.
    Also, "Murder My Pussy" is my new Bangles punk tribute band.

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  33. Whoa, I had not seen those pictures of her. What the heck has happened to her? Oh, I know...Hollywood has happened. That's really sad, though, because she was so adorable.

    Now you boys look completely amazing! There's no price too high to pay to look amazing, and looking amazing and being skinny is all that matters. Just ask Abercrombie.

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  34. She's the latest in a line of celebrities who just don't know when enough is enough. I read an article somewhere that claimed that when you're lauded for your looks at a young age you begin to panic the moment you see those looks fade, and that this kind of thing is the result.

    Unfortunately, it's getting *them* to see how horrid they look that is the ultimate trick. I'm pretty sure managing that is way above my pay grade, though!

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  35. Wow. That is...just sad. Although I would like to see you guys in red bikinis.

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  36. What a shame. It's kind of like what happened with Lindsey Lohan. :(

    Also, Bryan looks like Sexy Squidward, just saying.

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  37. Holy shit, THAT'S who Amanda Bynes is? I've heard people talking about her, but I didn't know who they meant!

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  38. It's like watching Britney Spears all over again. What is wrong with these girls? Good Lord!

    Nice rack Brandon - just sayin'

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  39. Sad how far they slip, all for attention when they become out of work.

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  40. Brandon, have you thought about offering yourself to the Breast cancer people? All that feeling and you would be perfect to tell women just how to check for lumps.

    Crazy post guys. Loved it

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  41. I have a friend who says if he could fellate himself the way dogs do, well, nothing would ever get done.

    Nice breasts, btw.

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    Replies
    1. Pro: you get your dick sucked.
      Con: you have to suck a dick.

      Not sure I'm a huge fan of that particular situation.

      Delete
  42. It's so great to be back here reading your blog again! Hilarious as ever guys ^.^

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  43. Nice makeover guys...ummm- no words, you've pretty much said it all.

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  44. Amanda Bynes' mental breakdown has comepletly out the blue...here I've been, waiting for Bieber to do a Macauly Culkin on us and Amanda pips him to the post. I wish i was a fly on the wall in Drake's house when she tags him in her insanity x

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  45. I grew up watching her on The Amanda Show, back when she would do completely ridiculous things to make people laugh. Drake and Josh even starred on her show for a while, before they got their own show. I miss that. Now all of the kid stars I used to want to be like need therapy, drug tests, and to be out of the spotlight before it completely destroys them.

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  46. The upper twenties makes you ancient... This is so breaking my heart. How dare she say such a thing? It was only yesterday that I fell asleep watching her silly Lovewrecked and now this?! I'm completely grumped up now. We demand an apology.

    Great chest inplants, Brandon. Do they feel real? Honk Honk

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  47. Every guy would do what Brandon did. It just makes sense to grope them.

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  48. Her situation makes me sad. She was a cute kid, and now she's a ridiculous joke. I hate that.

    On the other hand, I'm glad she gave you guys a good modern Hollywood makeover. And at least Brandon has boobs to play with now.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  49. Does anyone else prefer her this way? I know I do, far more interesting and engaging.

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  50. I'm convinced that's not the same person... Holy shit, can Hollywood change a person.

    Never change, boys!!

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  51. I definitely prefer YOUR Hollywood make-underz. Nice rack Bro.

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  52. How do you fall so far when Jennie Garth is your big sister and Colin Firth is your British royalty dad?!

    I always put my money on Keenan and Kel being the ones from All That who would go all Corey FeldmanHaim on us. How wrong I was...

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