Today our glorious president has stopped regular blog activity to make an important announcement. Without further ado, we give you Peggy Sue the Retarded Goat.
If you don't speak goat (and you should, you intolerant jerk -- it's 2013) what she said is that after listening to the great words of North Korea's Kim Jong Un, we have decided today that enough is enough. We are waging nuclear war on the Internet, and we are totally serious about it, guys. For too long the Internet has laughed at us, but today it is the glorious nation of A Beer for the Shower that will have the last laugh as we take down every web-comic, social network, and funny cat picture site in existence. And we swear we are totally going to do it, you guys.
We are already hard at work building nuclear bombs capable of devastating explosions.
We also have a team dedicated to developing the latest in body armor, which can withstand bullets, grenades, and military-grade wiffle bats. If you don't believe us, watch this highly scientific test in action.
But it's more than just body armor. Our men are fighters. Natural born killing machines. They are the finest child soldiers that forced labor can offer, and since we can't afford to feed them or clothe them, they fight for nothing more than the glory of battle.
He is a fearsome warrior, is he not? But we won't even need him. No, because we have a tactical aerospace team that's been developing fighter jets, the likes of which your pathetic nation has never seen...
...And thus we have created a stealth bomber that not only is completely silent, but runs on pure alcohol.
|Yes, that's right, he has no shoes, which makes him silent and therefore undetectable!|
Cheers and stay dead, infidels,
Brandon and Bryan
Music: The screams of the children
Beer: We will drink after we destroy your families