Sunday, March 3, 2013

If It's Good for Budweiser, It's Good For Me

We may joke about it a lot here at ABftS, but this week it was announced that brewing giant, Anheuser-Busch, is actually being sued for having "watered-down" beer which results in a lower than advertised alcohol content.

Time Magazine Article on Lawsuit

But, worry not, Budweiser fans. Surprisingly, independent tests have revealed the lawsuit's claim to be untrue. That's right, Bud Lite aficionados, that watery, flavorless taste you know and love is in fact 100% up to standard. Thank God, right? Anyway, that brings us to today's topic. Because we can sympathize with Anheuser-Busch. We were actually accused of watering down our posts, but we wanted to use today's post to dispel those rumors, which are anything but true.

First off, our writing always remains top-notch.


Second, our artwork has only improved. This is because we have a very dedicated team of Latvian freelance artists to whom we pay an almost generous amount of potatoes every week to draw our comics. And also write some of our jokes.




 

Hilarious, right?

And thanks to those industriously reliable Latvians, we can bring you content at a blistering bi-weekly pace (It takes a few days to deliver everything by horseback. Also, a lot of them die during the cold, treacherous  3 day expedition. I mean, a LOT of them).



Lastly, and most importantly, it's all free. We always offer up our best efforts at no cost to you, the readers. We never ask for anything in return. Except maybe to buy our e-books. Or spend $60 to purchase all of our paperbacks. Or leave us reviews. And possibly promote our work for us on your own website. And maybe fund our Kickstarter. But that's all.



So there you have it, folks. The polished makings of a reputable, world-class blog/web-comic and proof that the content you find here at A Beer for the Shower is always cold and refreshing, and like Budweiser, never unnaturally diluted.

Cheers and stay classy, folks!

-B&B

Beer: Budweiser Ultra (Hah, I can't even say that with a straight face... we're really drinking Michelob Light.)
Music: The Avett Brothers

53 comments:

  1. Awww man, now I have that "in the arms of an angel" song in my head along with the pathetic looking kennel dogs flashing behind my retinas. I'm actually shocked they didn't find out Bud was watered down with sloth urine.

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  2. No shortchanging or watering down of posts here.
    And remember, easier to keep your dignity when you have none to lose.

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  3. Ha! Sarah McLachlan is just giving it up for anyone now, huh? She ruins people's days.

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  4. I actually enjoyed that Latvian comic.

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  5. LOL not water on you, as you sure keep things up to the same level, or would that be down to the same level? haha

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  6. People have accused you of watering down? I wouldn't really say that, you guys still provide the same amount of hilarious content and if anything is a bit rushed or not as up to scratch, you guys are very busy people. I still love the comics and the posts, and all the advice you've given me on my own blog.

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  7. You know, it's been long enough, you could get Sarah McLaughlin to do "In The Arms Of an Angel" for you and raise all sorts of money for ABFTS. Just hearing that song makes me throw money at the television!

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  8. To Canadians, ALL American beer tastes like watered-down horse piss. We pity you.

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  9. Look at that find potato suit.

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  10. I think your Latvian artists have been leaving spam comments on my blog. The grammar sounds suspiciously similar.

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  11. This reminds me of an old Randy Newman song in which he starts singing about his housekeeper. It includes the line, "She wrote this song for me."

    So long as they don't play that song - THAT... DAMN... SONG! - during the Sarah McLaughlin ad, I'd say go for it. A hungry writer looks sadder than any dog. But not if they play that damn song.

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  12. You mean I've been reading a watered-down blog this whole time? WTF!? I'm calling my lawyer!

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  13. I'm from the 90s and I didn't know who Sarah McLachlan was. She must really suck.

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  14. Damn...I am both confused and depressed. Isn't all your beer watered down??? It's in the shower???

    Also...people are comparing beer...I have alcohol intolerance and haven't ever tasted beer. Smells like crap though, so I have always gone with the idea that I would hate it even if I could drink it.

    AND...I am now depressed for Sarah. What the heck happened to her boobs. They look awfully hangy.

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  15. Tastes great less filling. Made with the best barley hops and rice (true story it says that on the Budweiser can)

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2613/3862415924_b9232171a1.jpg

    Brewed with rice. true story.

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  16. "Man gets hit in the testicles with a Nerf baseball bat, Part 1 of 7" This stuff just writes itself...bahahaha! Love it.

    Whenever The Husband and/or I hear that sad as hell Sara McLachlan music start playing I have to jump up and grab the remote so we can turn the channel before my kids all start bawling!

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  17. Are those Latvian freelancers available for some overtime? I could really use some of their talents to spruce up my blog.

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  18. I had the delightful experience of drinking my first Bud Light in nearly a decade at an artsy fartsy event at an art museum on Friday night. After waiting in line for 15 minutes, I got up to the cash bar to find out it was very literally a CASH bar. I had exactly 3 dollars which bought me one Bud Light which I nursed for the next 3 hours. It really added to the entire idiot experience. Nothing like standing in a crowd of pretentious assholes drinking chardonnay while you clutch a bottle of frat beer in your sweaty palms.

    It was a perfect metaphor for my life.

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  19. You know I THOUGHT I could read more of your shit without suffering that bloated feeling. Bastards.

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  20. I think this post should earn you permanent immunity from lawsuit. I really like the picture of Sarah and Bryan. It's very disturbing.

    xoRobyn

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  21. Nothing watered down here, same weak ass funny shenanigans!

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  22. The Latvian comic was funny! I think you should give them a better deal so they are not starve! Sarah's boob made me shudder, though.

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  23. I always knew Budweiser watered down their beer. It's awful. I'd rather not drink than drink that stuff. It all makes sense now. Chicago Cubs + Budweiser = Diminish.

    Nice Latvia script. Keep them workin'.

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  24. Ah, you've reminded me I need to write my post about why you need to buy 1 million copies of my books.

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  25. I can't drink beer. It gives me a stomach ache.

    Though, once in a while, when I want to shoot tequila, I love a good Belgian white to sip on.

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  26. So THAT'S where all my potatoes went! I saw that Latvian guy on our street last week! Man, for being so weak and hungry, he sure moves like a ninja when potatoes are on the line!

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  27. I am currently trying to sell a beer distributor a sponsorship on our entertainment calender for summer. I don't think it's a good time to ask about the alcohol content controversy though.

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  28. Who would have ever guessed that the general consensus among beer drinkers, that Bud tastes like watered down piss, might actually prove to be true? I'm waiting for some science to prove if the alcohol percentage in the cans is less than advertised.

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  29. What do you call a Latvian with two potatoes?

    Situation unplausible, how can man have two potatoes?

    The watered down-ness of A Beer for the Shower helps replace the fluids lost from crying. You guys are still awesome

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  30. Hey, I did buy the e-book versions (not watered down, right?) So I don't drink, but when I did, I made sure never to drink that crap. Looks like I was right ;) How is someone suing them NOW when the product has always tasted that way?

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  31. Sarah McLachlan's boobs showing up in this post made me sad a little...just like the ASPCA commercials ;).

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  32. Excuse me, but if you're drinking beer in the shower, how can it not be watered down?

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    Replies
    1. Ooh! Good point!

      [You're not supposed to read this blog AND think! It's one or the other, but not BOTH!]

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  33. When I see one of those starving animals or children commercials, all I want to do is change the channel. A lot less animals and kids would be suffering if they used all that money from the commercials to, you know, feed the starving people.

    I am impressed that you manage to keep the shower water out of the beer though. That takes real talent.

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  34. I can get Latvians and pay them in potatoes? Why have I been paying Russians in vodka for so long?

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  35. No no, who would accuse these posts of being watered down? Instead it's strained. You get less material but more quality. Sadly, it doesn't really work that way for beer.. Right? Maybe I just didn't do it enough.

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  36. Hey, what the hell happened to my first (original) comment? It's done disappeared without a trace! I'm censored? I'm banned? (I'm bummed.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  37. You boys turn out high quality craic here. Now Budweiser, that's some seriously nasty brew. Really, it's just piss water.

    How long does the sale of a paperback keep your parents off your back? That should earn you at least a week or two.

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  38. Sarah is unpleasant? Thanks for the heads up, I'll avoid ashed up singers.

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  39. At least your burgers don't turn out to contain horse meet instead of beef...come to ireland!

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  40. I don't think there's an unnaturally diluted cell in your bodies, B&B. When you crank out quality work the success will follow.

    As for Sarah's boob over your face...at least she didn't sing!

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  41. Fortunately, Sarah is the most disturbing thing about this post. Talk about 'watered down'.

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  42. I will say, you guys have the most un-watered down and piss like blog of any that I've read. I appreciate the standards you demand your Latvian's maintain.

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  43. Bud Lite is watered down beer? I thought it was beer-ed down water.

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  44. Your blog watered down? I don't think so and that is why I love coming here and read your stuff.

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  45. I definitely think when it comes to you guys watering down your blog it's a non story, you're one of the thickest, most intense blogs that I follow, I hadn't heard that about Bud though, quite an interesting news story, it still beats Coors Light though, no offence intended to Coors haha.

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  46. I find potato joke very funny! Potato is life, and life is good! I have potato now? (fail>.<)

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  47. Poor, mistreated Latvians. Can't even share their dirt and sadness with you. But no doubt they are churning out one heckuva blog, so whatever.

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  48. LOL. I drink Miller Lite. It's the official beer of Texas. And Matthew McConaughey.

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  49. Because I've heard so many bad things about Budweiser, Coors, etc. etc. I refuse to even try them.

    Though my Asian genetics can't handle Guinness as well as I'd like...

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  50. I love it when you guys go cultural.

    Also: is that a sideburn or a nipple?

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  51. Sarah is a whore who ruins my day every time her stupid face appears on my television. I wish someone would water HER down.

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