Alas, Brandon died doing what he loved: vomiting into his own lungs while seizing violently. Which meant we needed a replacement. And after doing what we've been doing for years, replacing Brandon was not easy. First Bryan hired an artsy hipster to co-author the blog.
He was promptly fired. Thinking all we needed was just another Brandon, Bryan outsourced a cheap lookalike named Brentin. The only problem... Brentin was from Turkmenistan, so his humor didn't translate to English very well.
Also, he was sexist. Very, very sexist. And a bit racist. That led Bryan to believe maybe he ought to hire a professional comedian. But the funny ones actually wanted to be paid in real money. So he hired Carrot Top instead.
Bryan may or may not have strangled Carrot Top with his own prop underwear.*
*If you're an officer of the law, that joke is hypothetical. Mr. Top's apparent disappearance is purely coincidental. Please stop calling.
So, as a last resort, Bryan put an ad in Craigslist...
So he took a cue from one of his all time favorite childhood movies, Weekend at Bernie's.
Could someone run your blog/site without you?
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Beer: Left Hand Milk Stout
Music: John Lee Hooker