Monday, February 25, 2013

They Just Don't Make Them Like They Didn't Used To Anymore

Today's post is inspired by a recent trip to the Subaru dealership, where Brandon's new car was taken in for a safety recall repair...





Five very thoroughly diagnostic minutes later…

















Just remember, folks, there's only one lesson to be learned here. If ever you find yourself stepping foot inside the service department of a new car dealership, just remember to keep one hand over your asshole. And don't be alarmed if the mechanics start flinging feces.

Cheers and stay classy, folks,

-B&B

Beer: Goose Island Mild Winter
Music: The Allman Brothers Band



52 comments:

  1. Hahah it's even worse when you're a woman and you (admittedly) know very little about cars. Boyfriend never lets me forget the one time I paid for an "engine cleaning'. Damn.

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  2. Disservice department - isn't that the truth?
    I'm checking for monkeys next time.

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  3. I had a similar experience over the weekend. I only wanted two new tires. Six hundred dollars later, I have no idea what they fixed. There should be a service where you can hire a mechanic to check what your mechanic says. Sure, it's just as bad as throwing money at nonsensical words, but at least it would leave you with that fresh, less raped feeling we all crave.

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  4. Haha! Here in Mexico, an oil change at the dealership on my new Jeep is $300.00!! Being blonde down here has NO advantages.

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  5. Yeah, I've found it's cheaper just to fill my tank with dollar bills and set it ablaze. It gets much more mileage that way.

    And the day my warranty ran out on my car, the muffler fell off. These snakes in the grass really know how to time this shit perfectly.

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  6. Aw man, poor Brandon. Those places always take you for a ride!

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  7. This is the reason I sold my car and replaced it with a pedal-powered gyrocopter. My pins have never been so muscular.

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  8. Ass invading monkeys, he did the right thing!

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  9. Yeah they will really ass rap you every way they can and make it sound like you reaaalllly need it and it's the best deal ever. I tell them to shove it, really did too haha still got a recall that said my car could catch fire that i haven't bothered with lol

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  10. I don't buy new cars ever. Usually it's best to wait until someone else has owned it for at least 10 years and not died in a fiery blaze.

    Hey, your book came in the post today. I'll have a review up by weeks end.

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  11. never get fixed at a dealership. EVER

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  12. Never trust a car dealership, the service department, or any mechanic for that matter. They will suck you dry!

    So now when I hear the words "grease monkey" I know to take it literally!

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  13. B-B-BEER BOYS ~
    In defense of the Subaru dealership, I must say that Subaru doohickies ARE known to wear out rather quickly. So they may not have been lying about that. However, Subaru whahoozits last longer than they do on ANY OTHER automobile. So, ya lose some and ya win some.

    The title of this blog bit reminded me of a line I heard long ago, made in reference to the Marine Corps:

    The Corps ain't what it used to be,
    and it never was.

    I've borrowed that line and applied it to other things on several occasions.

    An enjoyable post, as always.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  14. Yep, that is how they get you with a recall item and then *WHAM* you need to sink thousands of more dollars in the car to keep it from breaking down. I have been there before....

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  15. This is perfect.

    My pregnant co-worker took her car to the dealership (it might have been Subaru actually) to get the oil changed in her nearly new car and came home with a brand new SUV! I'm pretty sure car salesman start slathering at the mouth when a pregnant woman walks in the door.

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  16. re: your comment:
    Nah, LoL's pretty okay. I'm not having any trouble keeping up with, y'know, life, even though I play it semi-regularly. Give it a shot, maybe we can even play some games together!
    As for the reddit thread, here it is!

    Also, Bryan, dude, there's so many things wrong with that. Sure paper burns pretty well, but your engine isn't made to handle it and God knows what kind of toxic waste those bills have been coated with. You'll end up killing something, young man!

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  17. Stay away from dealers!

    All kinds of dealers.

    The car dealer wanted to charge my ex $1700 to change her RADIATOR. I did it for $300.

    Fight the power!

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  18. They always try to screw you over with the doohickeys. You should ask where the 'do it yourself garage' is.

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  19. So important to find a good mechanic, and price the parts online. One guy kept trying to charge me twice the amount the parts were worth. Just bought the stuff myself and handed it to him (though if he wasn't around the corner from my house I woulda went somewhere else... damn convenience)

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  20. HAHAH. I've had this exact same experience. Only I'm a woman so you have to add in the major condescending tone of the service person.

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  21. I go back and forth on this. On one hand it does seem expensive(even if exaggerated for comedic effect), on the other refusal to pay people the wages for their profession is a problem you boys know all to well.

    Something to ponder.

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    1. I refuse to pay their wages because I can do it for myself for free. And for those who can't, you can find a local shop that'll charge half the price. Likewise, if we charged $29.99 for a paperback, it'd be understandable if people didn't want to pay for our books.

      Also, cost doesn't equal wages. A dealership will charge $75-80 per hour for labor, but the tech doesn't make $75-80 an hour, does he? Or even half of that...? Just sayin'.

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    2. There's paying people their wages, and then there's people flat out trying to rip you off. Actually a bit of a difference between those two.

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  22. I don't know much about cars but I know that this happens at computer shops as well and sometimes my dad has asked me to go along with him in case they try to fleece him. It would work if it wasn't for the fact that I get caught up in the excitement too and sometimes fall for it.

    Damn it all.

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  23. Pretty much spot-on... throw money at the car to make it better. Makes me wonder if MY Subaru doohickeys need replacing. :|

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  24. that's why I have no car....no money!

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  25. I get at least one Recall notice per year for my Toyota. Just took it in for the last "free" recall service. Of course, they found all sorts of other doohickeys in need of repair. I said "No thanks, I'll risk my life." Then I got a mailing with the list of all these urgently needed fixes. I'm sorry you went through this, but I'm glad to know they're not just trying to rip women off. It's an equal opportunity scam.

    xoRobyn

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  26. Aw, this made me miss my Subaru! I loved that thing, but it got real sick and died :(

    I hate dealerships, and basically any place that fixes cars, cause they instantly size me up as a person who knows nothing, and try to tell me all this crazy stuff is wrong. Fortunately, I have a mechanic who was a friend of my dad's who I trust, and has even sent me out of there paying nothing.

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  27. Interestingly enough, ever since we got our last car (used, but freshly used), the dealership has been trying to get it back from us, because used cars are in such demand. heh

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  28. Aren't you concerned that your doohickeys are still out of alignment?

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  29. The hand over the asshole thing made me scoff so much for some reason, brilliantly hilarious guys. I hate businesses like this that just seem to go all out to get you to pay as much as possible, they're blood suckers as far as I'm concerned.

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  30. Thank you for the reminder to put my butt plug in before I even attempt to deal with a mechanic.

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  31. There's so much truth to this post!

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  32. Yep. That's pretty much how those things work. Take the car in for an oil change, and leave with about $2000 worth of other repairs that you can't really prove you DIDN'T need...

    That's why I'm so glad my husband has a strong backbone. He know how to tell those mechanics to fix what he tells them to fix and shove those "other" repairs up their hooziwhatzit until he's confirmed if they're really necessary. I really need to learn how to do that...

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  33. As I recognize that I am an idiot about cars...the very second my warranty expires, I run to the nearest dealership and buy a new car. I find it is cheaper than the repairs that will begin to magically appear now that the fixes aren't on their dime any more. Disservice is such a great word in relationship to auto repairs.

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  34. Thus I keep forgetting to have that recall work on the seat belt in the Impala.

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  35. I like it when they mess things up, recall, and do everything for free. I'd never rely on a Subaru over here though. Crater streets would murder it.

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  36. I have a mechanic friend who discreetly freelances out of his garage at home. He can do anything they do in the shops at almost a quarter of the price. I know I am getting a deal and he always does good work.

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  37. This one's a riot. I really liked the mechanic clearly high level of training, and his spelling was outta this world. Say, aren't Subarus supposed to be cars for yuppies, who think they're better than everybody else cause they drive a Subaru? You know, the tree huggers types. Good thing Bryan is way smarter than that.....lol!

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  38. Why is it that every time I deal with a dealership, I prepare to be fucked with my pants on? (BTW, I did ask that question of a car salesman one time - in front of my dad. We got the deal we wanted on the trade-in after that.)

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  39. Leave a little drip on the butt plug too, they like to smell you coming.

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  40. Yeah, if you go into one of those places you might as well bend over right from the start, because someone's definitely going to get screwed and it ain't them.

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  41. I received the same notice and haven't gone in yet for this exact reason. I'm afraid they are going to want to replace everything but the fuse for the lights!

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  42. At least you were listening to appropriate music. Just had my car into the 'local shop' and trust me, it's a real 'Whipping Post' - 'sometimes I feel like I'm dying!'

    Make mine Isuzu not Subaru, but the monkeys are the same.

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  43. It is true that Subarus are the most reliable car, but only when they are running.

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  44. I know basically nothing about cars and I've never bought one, but I will keep all of this in mind whenever I do. In between now and then, I need to learn to speak car so I know what all the Thingys are so they can't take my money to give to the monkeys.

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  45. I'm coming up for a major service, time to get me an extra hand to cover up

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  46. I just bought a computer and they try the same shit with you: "For $100 more you can get this one with MORE MEMORY", "You really should get the warrenty", "You can pay us extra and we will remove the unwanted preloaded programs", "How about a new wireless mouse?"

    Give me my computer before I set your store on fire.

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  47. Don't get me started on recalls.. Just remember that they issue them only if it's more expensive to pay lawsuits than to repair the cars. I had to pay for a repair right after the warranty expired and then a year later got the recall notice.

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  48. It's infinitely worse being a woman. Jokes on them though. They think I'm clueless about cars.

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