A few days passed, and we were still partying hard. Sure, it was a little dark, but it wasn't that bad.
Unfortunately, the sewage level continued to rise in the cargo hold, but we were long gone by that point. Because, frankly, once the beer's gone, the party's over. We carried our box of stuff upstairs, used its contents to build a raft, and sailed the last 150 miles to shore with some bottled water we pried off of a dead body and two armfuls of rat sushi.
Meanwhile, everyone on board was just hanging out in the dark, drinking booze and eating buffet food, completely separated from technology. We were so envious of them, but we had a delivery to make.
And much like that little Indian kid who went on a boating trip with a hungry tiger, we risked life and limb (and a serious case of Hepatitis C) to bring you fantastic news. So, what were the precious contents of our cargo container that eventually got MacGyvered into a makeshift sailing vessel? They were the first copies of our very first paperback books. That's right, all five of our novels are now available in paperback print! Badass, right? Here are the links to all five books, which can also be found in our web store (click the banner at the top of the page).
The Sensationally Absurd Life and Times of Slim Dyson
Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas
The Missing Link
Demetri and the Banana Flavored Rocketship
Chasing the Sandman
Not only are they high quality, they're also extremely buoyant, comfortable to sit on, and incredibly entertaining while you float along the open ocean, waiting to die!*
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Music: The Clash
*Our lawyers do not recommend using them for anything water-related. Only for reading and sharing.