In short, it's a poem recited by Paul Harvey 35 years ago about God's creation of farmers, which is in direct relation to buying a Dodge truck. I'm assuming they're referring to the Book of Jesus H. Chrysler, Chapter 10, Verse 11, which says "Thou shalt buy a Hemi to tow thy load." Which, as we all know, is in the New New Testament.
Maybe it's because we're both city boys, but the two of us couldn't really relate to this commercial or this poem, so we wanted to make our own version. We give you...
"So God Made a Writer"
And on the eighth day, God looked down and said, "Holy shit, Twilight? Fifty Shades of Grey? Seriously, this is the pinnacle of quality storytelling in the world? We need to do something about that, NOW." So God made a writer.
God said, "I need someone who's driven to do what they do by alcohol, who stares alcoholism boldly in the face and says 'not today, cirrhosis of the liver; I've got a chapter to wrap up'." So God made a writer.
God said, "I need someone to wake up in the middle of the night with a brilliant story idea and then quickly forget it, who will beat themselves up mercilessly trying to remember this truly amazing idea only to realize days later that it was actually a very stupid idea." So God made a writer.
|*Because it's 16 inches and weighs 8.4 lbs|
God said, "I need someone to write with pure grace and elegance, to pen a story with charisma, and yet be the complete opposite in public gatherings. Someone who is hard to talk to and socially retarded. Because I have a deep fondness for irony." So God made a writer.
God said "I need someone to breathe life into the written word, only to watch it die in an Internet chat room full of 13 year olds saying things like 'u r teh nOObs!' and 'lulz wht a fagit'!" So God made a writer.
And that's why God made a writer. And spellcheck. And rubber underpants.
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Beer: Modelo Negro
Music: Johnny Cash