Monday, October 29, 2012

Election 2012

Hello, dear friends. Welcome once again to another classy installment of Blog Decision 2012. Election Day is right around the corner, and before you cast your ballot, we want to make sure you've gotten all the facts. And that means seeing our newest campaign ads. Today we debuted them in front of a test audience and we set up cameras to let you enjoy the action...

Commercial #1:

Paid for by the Committee of American Hot Dog Stuffers

Commercial #2:

Commercial #3:

Paid for by the Association of Freedom Loving Americans

Commercial #4

Commercial #5:

      Stay tuned for next week when we hold the election (and you get to vote!). So who are you going to vote for? Brandon the space alien? Bryan the sweatshop tyrant? Or Peggy Sue the Retarded Goat, who just filed all of the proper documents that allow her to run? 
       Speaking of which, we should probably start filing those papers. I'm assuming those are important.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,

Brandon and Bryan

Music: Blackfield
Beer: Samuel Adams

Monday, October 22, 2012

It's Free As Long As You Pay For It

            Nothing in life is ever free.
            As some of you may or may not know, Facebook is now offering to put your posts to the top of everyone else's news feeds for $7. But what's worse is that if you don't pay, your posts are getting shoved all the way to the bottom or not being shown at all. So their service is still free, but if you want other people to see what you're posting, you're going to have to fork over some money.
            Basically, it's become "freemium": completely free to use, but you have to pay for the "premium" stuff... like creating content that other people can see. Which really isn't all that premium. And which is such a ripoff. Yet, "The Zuck" is going to make millions.

          Because it's crucial to make your Facebook status heard.

          But see, I didn't pay "The Zuck" $7, so no one saw my profoundly inventive inspirational quote, and three hours later...

           Isn't that heartbreaking? So I ponied up the $7, and look, instant validation!

          And just like that, I became a sage of Facebook, because it's so important that my 125 friends know how thoughtful and intelligent I am... which got me to thinking, what if we brought the concept of freemium to the blog? Brandon and I need money just as much as anyone else, so what if we started writing Brandon and Bryan's Freemium Adventures™?
          For free, you get a complete Choose Your Own Adventure style short story, but for as little as 99 cents, you can purchase literary upgrades at any time!

           And hey, maybe we can even add this kind of service to our comics. They'll still be completely free, but the free comic only has a decent joke. Not a great one.

          Let's face it, it's funny, but it's a lazy punchline. Then again, what do you expect for free, you cheap-ass? So let's check out what kind of high quality punchline you can get for only 99 cents...

          Totally worth 99 cents, amirite? ...Yeah, I wouldn't pay money for that either.
          So in the meanwhile, if you follow us on Facebook (or even if you don't - add us here!) and actually want to see what we're thinking, or when we post more funny drawings, or even just when we post these blog entries, then go to our Facebook Page, click where it says 'Liked,' and make sure you add us to some kind of 'Interest List.'

            It doesn't matter what you call that list, but without it, you won't be hearing much from us. Or any of your other favorite pages, for that matter. So do this for all of them if you still want to see their posts.
            Because as starving artists, we don't have an endless supply of $7 falling out of our asses so that you can see a new silly picture I drew or a random hilarious thought either of us had. Don't let the Zuck win. He's already got his billions.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)

Music: South of France
Beer: Sam Adams Octoberfest