Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Vote For Your Favorite Homeless Party!

Hey all, and welcome to the democratic process at its finest. See, we had some friends of ours host a book release party for our good buddy Slim Dyson the homeless writer, to celebrate the release of his new novel. Well, today you get to check out those parties and vote for a winner.

We had our own party, but it's ineligible for voting, not just because that's technically cheating, but also because it sucked. The only person that showed up was One-Leg Craig, our time-traveling intern staff writer turned homeless heroin addict.







So without further ado, here are our participants, listed in order of submission:

1. Andrew at StrangePegs threw a party for Slim that included bouncy castles, a public pool, and a couple of drunken Santas. And who doesn't love the mental image of 20 drunk homeless people jumping in a bouncy castle full of terrified children?

See Andrew's entry here!

2. Jaybird over at The Bird's Nest held Slim's party in the public library, where he got an actual book signing. This entry not only features pizza bagels and Cheez Whiz, but it also shows actual pictures of the event. Missing from the pictures are Slim, who's a bit camera shy. Also, imaginary.

See Jaybird's entry here!

3. Elsie over at Mock Turtle's Musings (and Elsie Is Writing) threw Slim's party on the Denver 16th Street Mall's free mall ride, which she turned into a rockin' party bus full of drunken homeless people singing like maniacs. While they lack instruments, training, and talent, I'd be willing to bet they still sound better than Ke$ha.

See Elsie's entry here!

4. Winopants at Wino on a Ramble held Slim's party in a restaurant infested with rats. That might sound like a bad time, but between the Mexican witchery and a bit of sweet justice for Amelia, I'd say Slim had a blast at this swanky shindig.

See Winopants' entry here!

5. Cheryl over at The Art of Being Conflicted threw Slim's party in City Park, complete with roaring trash can fires and fancily cut PBJ's. Can't quite picture it in your head? Well worry not, there are glorious MSPaint representations stolen generously borrowed from our site!

See Cheryl's entry here!

6. Lia at Your Predefined Taste had Slim's party in a subway. What it lacked in hygiene it made up for with a boombox blasting Gangnam Style. Look for a cameo by the two of us, acting drunk and belligerent! Lia knows us so well.

See Lia's entry here!

7. Powdered Toast Man over at Just the Cheese threw Slim's party in the #9 Loop Bus, where they snacked on ketchup packets and rooted through the lost and found box. To the two of us that just sounds like a typical Friday night, but to Slim, it was the party of a lifetime.

See PTM's entry here!

8. Last but certainly not least Riot Kitty threw Slim a LOLCat party. That's right, cat parties are no longer just for lonely 50 year old spinsters! You bring the catnip, I'll bring the shame and loneliness!

See Riot Kitty's entry here!

So we wanted to have them all fight each other to the death in a steel cage grudge match, but apparently that's "illegal," so we're going to let you the reader decide. Who threw the best party? Who deserves to win a guest appearance and the signed manuscript? Vote now or the communists win!

-B&B


39 comments:

  1. Is it wrong I voted for myself? I didn't want to have none. LOL

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    1. I think that's a given. Reminds me of my 6th grade class president election. ME LOST.

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    2. There are no rules for voting, so I'd be sad if you didn't vote for yourself. This is war! If you have more than one personality, have them all vote for you!

      "I got four votes, from me, myself, and I. Also Larry. He like to burn things."

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  2. Jaybird, it can't be wrong because, well, I voted for myself too and I had to stop myself from voting twice LOL

    Good luck to everyone, they were all great stories and thanks Bryan and Brandon for challenging me with this opportunity. It was a ton of fun.

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  3. Loved the comparison between e-publishing and panhandling!

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  4. this was great!

    Also have to rethink my job, Craig seems to earn way more money than me.

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  5. I had to vote for myself just because I couldn't decide which other one to vote for.

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  6. I read them all and I cast my vote. I shall remain mute at this time as to who I voted for. Integrity and the vast sums of money I was paid for that vote demands my silence.

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  7. Ahh I gotta check these out after work! Don't close voting too early!

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  8. So many parties to go to, so little time. Just the opposite of my real life.

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  9. They were all so creative!!!! A very talented bunch!

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  10. Voted away, very creative they were as said.

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  11. All of these are great entries but Elsie's was my first to read and is still my favourite by far so hopefully she gets the big win.

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  12. I am regretting not participating! What a bunch of fun reads! It feels incomplete without a classic Workingdan post added to the mix!

    Oh well!

    Now on with the vote. My vote goes to.....the best one!

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  13. Good thing I didn't submit a story. I'd stand no chance against these posts. I've only read half of them so far, and each one has been comedy gold. It's going to be difficult to choose just one.

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  14. So far it's Elsie by a mile. Makes me feel glad I didn't join in. I wonder how much panhandlers actually make now, and how much writers make. Somewhere out there there must be a homeless person making more money than a writer. It has to be a published writer though or it doesn't count.

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    1. Some panhandlers in good areas can make as much as $50,000 a year. They won't even be homeless. They'll just make themselves look scruffy, do that all day, then hop in their Lexus and drive home. Sadly, I'm not kidding. You can look it up yourself.

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    2. There were some "homeless" guys in Shreveport when I was a teenager that got busted for that. Well, exposed on the news. Changed their lives. They ended up having to move out of the city as people switched from giving them food to throwing food at them.

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  15. Ha! I wasn't able to read them all here at work, but what I read was pretty awesome!

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  16. What??? I didn't vote for myself...I evidently am an idiot among other things. Great bunch of entries.

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  17. The suspense of this is killing me. I wish I had a prescription for Xanex or something. Maybe it's time to just hit up the liquor cabinet instead?

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  18. What are the chances?

    I actually threw a real homeless party, but I had no idea about this contest so didn't enter.

    It kicked ass and included an appearance from Gary Busey. He didn't so much appear with the homeless people as he was already around when the party started.

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  19. I've had the image of homeless people in bouncy houses stuck in my head for the last couple days. Thanks Andrew!
    Is there no way to vote for the cage match option? I'm a scrappy fighter- unless of course someone hands me a nice bottle of Italian wine, I might just wander off...

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  20. I will totally check those out. Am I the only one who brought Slim some pussy? BTW, Winopants - my friend went out on a date with a guy who invited her to an orgy in a bouncy house. No kidding.

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  21. Great entries. It was fun, and a bit scary, to make my way through the parties. You do know bribery is going on, right? (PTM promised me some saltines if I voted for him. But he said they might've already been chewed.)

    PS Thanks for the return follow.

    xoRobyn

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  22. No matter the outcome of the poll, I would like a recount. Bribing Slim Dyson with saltines has not paid off.

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  23. Wait! I'm in the lead! The voting needs to close now!
    :P

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  24. those were great and i'll be checking the links out asap.
    thanks so much for the follow. tried to follow you back...but the gfc button doesn't seem to work?

    have a great holiday!

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  25. What a great bunch o party planners you got there. Slim must be so proud!

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  26. Crap! I got busy and forgot to write an entry. But these were all worthy entrants. But I had to vote for homeless people in a bouncy house.

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  27. This was a fun way to promote the book, and everyone did a great job figuring out a party in true Slim Dyson style. Slim Dyson Style...where's THAT music video?

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  28. Oh, dude! I agree with Shannon totally! You need to make that video!

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  29. Well, after some reading, a bit of skimming, and some re-reading to make sure I had the right name, I voted. Good luck to the contestants! Now.. whether or not I voted on time..

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. So many to read and vote for. Who to pick? D:

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  32. Good entries! Let the competition begin!! :)

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  33. And I only had to press one button... incredible. Loved that part, Elsie!

    How's your Beer Tree, fellas?

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