Nope! Actually, we're releasing our new novel, "The Sensationally Absurd Life and Times of Slim Dyson," exactly one week from today! And that's not all. To kick off the release, we're holding a bad-ass contest to help get the word out. Like any good novel debut, this one needs a release party. And the best part is, you get to help us design it.
As you all know, the story's main character, Slim Dyson, is a homeless writer who finds fame and fortune, but still opts to spend his nights sleeping in the local shelter. Here's what we'd like you to do. We want you to throw Slim a killer book release party on Monday, December 17th.
To do this, simply create a post that details a fun, hypothetical party that Slim and his closest homeless pals would have a blast attending. Go nuts. Be creative. And have fun with it. A few commenters worried about "writing someone else's characters" but let me assure you, you don't have to write a mini Slim Dyson story, you just have to describe a theoretical party. As we told another person, it can be as long or as short as you want, it doesn't have to include pictures, and it can even just be something like this...
"I'd throw a party at the YMCA and have my Uncle Tito play the kazoo. They have a ton of leftovers at Olive Garden, so I rooted through the dumpster after closing and brought breadsticks for everyone. And for the guest of honor, Slim Dyson, I brought him a leather jacket I fished out of the trash can. Yes, it smells literally like fish, but it'll look great on him."
Homeless party rules:
1. Must be posted on Monday, December 17th, only.
2. Must contain a link to Slim and his book (we'll send you the link).
3. Even if it is hypothetical, the party can't be illegal: you can't just break into Lil Wayne's crib while he's out of town and steal all of his liquor (and his bitches).
4. You're homeless too, so you can't just throw this in your backyard and call it good. You don't have a backyard. The world is your backyard (was that deep?).
5. You can spend a total of $10. That's a whole day's wages of window washing at the corner of 18th and Broadway. Don't forget dollar stores!
6. The party must be able to accommodate 20-30 people.
7. You must have a gift for Slim, the guest of honor (don't worry, he's easy to buy for).
8. The fun part: tell us all about your party. Feel free to include pictures, videos, music, whatever. Go nuts.
9. You need to e-mail us as firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know you're entering. Let's make this whole thing official. Otherwise, it's hard to keep track of who's participating. In exchange, on Sunday, December 16th, we'll e-mail you a link to the book, which is an automatic slam dunk on rule #1. How easy is this?
And then... a winner will be decided. But not by us.
After you put your post up on Monday, December 17th, we'll compile all submissions and post them up for voting, by you the readers, on Thursday, December 20th. The winner will be announced the following Monday, December 24th, and the winner will receive an appearance in our web-comic and a physical, printed copy of our yet unreleased horror novella manuscript "Lost and Found."
The novella will only otherwise be available as an e-book in a few months, but absolutely no one has read it yet. THIS copy will be a bound, original manuscript, signed by both Brandon and Bryan, and will be shipped directly to your doorstep. Much like Charles Manson, this is one of a kind!
So, get to it and help us design a great release party for Slim! It can be as long or as short as you want to make it, just make it good.
And also, just to remind you again, if you plan on participating in the contest, please e-mail us beforehand at email@example.com and let us know (deadline is December 17), so that we can make sure we plan for and receive all submissions. Also, you'll need the link to the novel, which we'll e-mail to all participants on Sunday! And please, post on Monday, December 17th only! Thanks!
Cheers and stay classy, folks!
Beer: Shiner Bock
Music: Trampled By Turtles