Monday, December 24, 2012

The Grinch Who Stole Christ

Good tidings, everyone. And Happy Holidays! In the spirit of the season, we decided to throw a Christmas party here at our A Beer for the Shower office. Except that, by "office" we mean "condemned warehouse." And by "Christmas party" we mean "non-Christ-centered holiday gathering." Why is that, you ask? Well, firstly, because we're broke as fuck. And secondly, because apparently someone had stolen Jesus. We didn't know how or when it happened, but yes, the rumors were true, someone did indeed take the Christ out of Christmas. And with the help of our good friend Andrew, we were determined to find out who had dunnit...








      If we were going to find the Grinch who stole Christ, we needed to interview witnesses. So we painstakingly interrogated everyone at the party. All three of them. And we asked them when they had last seen the victim.








     




       But alas, Jesus wasn't at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, or in a child's smile, or burnt into a piece of toast. It turns out he was there with us the whole time. Apparently he was just in the other room grabbing refreshments.
       So no matter whether you're celebrating Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or just a few days off of work, we hope you have a good one. See, that's the great thing about a holiday, is that it's up to you whether you celebrate it, how you celebrate it, etc. So regardless of whether you celebrate with your family, or your boss, or your friends, or alone, or even with the J-man himself, no one can tell you how to celebrate your holiday but you.
       Because it's true, no one ever took the Christ out of Christmas. He's been here all along. Serving up refreshments. And they're delicious.

Jesus can turn water into wine but he makes a bitchin' paella

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Brandon and Bryan

Music: Gypsy and the Cat
Beer: Stella

P.S. I'm sure you noticed the addition of our friend Andrew Leon to today's comic. That's because he's our official contest winner, with over 40% of the total votes for our Slim party. If you haven't already stop by his blog, say hello, and tell him that B&B sent you. He'll give you 10% off your next Botox injection.* **

* He will most likely not do this
** Not guaranteed to be an actual "medical doctor"

46 comments:

  1. He took the steering wheeel to my car. And now it's really hard to drive.

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  2. I always offer to buy Jesus a Bloody Mary on Christmas morning to cure his hangover, but he always curses me by referring to the drink as Bloody Mary. He says it reminds him of his mom's period.

    Alright, that's my lame joke of the day. Sorry you guys were on the receiving end. Have a good holiday!

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  3. Damn, at least if he was on the toast you could have sold it for a ton on ebay.

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  4. Merry Christmas (or whatever floats your goat) fellas!
    The world is a funnier place with your contributions in it.
    I wish you ridiculous amounts of success.

    xoxo
    a-

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  5. Merry Christmas and congrats to Andrew! Have an awesome holiday guys.

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  6. Can you imagine if Cletus and Precious got together? Sweet Jesus!!!! Have a wonderful Christmas and I'm looking forward to more hilarity in the New Year.

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  7. as always...hilarity! Personally, I think Tina the Ri-Ri goat should have been asked but that's just me.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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  8. Merry Christmas Bryan and Brandon. :D I'll be enjoying with family and wine...lots of wine.

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  9. Elsie didn't win? I'm really surprised. Oh well. At least Jesus turned up just fine.

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  10. Merry Christmas! I'll be looking at braces a lot harder from now on...

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  11. Congrats to Andrew!!!! Happy Holidays everyone!!!!

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  12. Tequila in egg nog? OK, that's one combination I've never tried. I'll put it on my 'TO OVERDO LIST'.

    I was a little disappointed ya didn't come around to check out my End-Of-The-World 'APOCALYPSE' BLOGFEST entry, and now that the world has ended, it's just too late.

    Oh well, a Merry CHRISTmas to you Beer Boys all the same. Thanks for the laughs in 2012 - they helped get me through what was a truly shitty year. See ya in the next year, or the hereafter, whichever comes first.

    Bless And Be Blessed, Beer Boys!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  13. Jesus makes pretty mean rum balls too. Congrats to Andrew, now immortalized forever in toon form! Happy holidays, everyone!

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  14. JC in the toast had me on the floor. Merry Christmas, you crazy fuckers.

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  15. Nice job...kinda.... i guess... Seriously, Merry Christmas and blessings to you all!

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  16. Congratulations to Andrew. Also, what the huh? I can't find Jesus at the bottom of a whiskey bottle? That won't stop me from trying!

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  17. Good one guys! n Congrats to Drew!
    I thought I once found Christ in my backyard. Turns out it was just the propane line. Albeit when struck with a pick axe repeatedly a good way to find Christ.

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  18. Congrats to Andrew! And Merry Christmas, boys!

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  19. Ah, that's so awesome! I have never been a cartoon character before! And the carbonite toast...! I may have to send you guys some of those carbonite bars.

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  20. Tequila eggnog sounds pretty awesome to me buddy, here's hoping that you two lads have a great Christmas for you and your family. Congratulations to Andrew on the big win too, while Elsie's was my choice his was brilliant too so he deserves it.

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  21. Tequila eggnog will *not* be on my list of holiday recipes this year, thanks!
    What would Peggy Sue have to say? Maybe jesus in the footprint of her orthotic shoe?
    Merry Christmas

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  22. You guys are cute and awesome. I don't know why it took so long to find ya here, 'cept I've never taken a beer into the shower, but I'm glad I did (find ya here, that is - not the beer in shower part. Tequila eggnog, maybe. Beer, no).

    Congratulations to Andrew for his well-planned party.

    Happy Holidays.
    xoRobyn

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  23. Hey.. that's a sweet message. I approve of how you went abut this. Kudos and things

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  24. Thanks for all the congrats everyone!

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  25. Congrats to Andrew! That's really a lot of votes.

    I keep saying that I should stop expecting what you're going to do because I'm never right. Well, I was wrong again. I'll learn eventually. Maybe. This was a really nice post though. Merry Christmas and whatever other holiday you feel like celebrating!

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  26. MERRY CHRISTMAS FELLAS!!! Hope Santa brings you all that you asked him for :-)

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  27. Thank you for the laughs! I'll use this as a counter-argument when I run into Pat Robertson...And I voted for Andrew.

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  28. Happy Christma-Hanu-Kwanz-ika!!!

    Hope it's a great one for you guys! :)

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  29. Hahahaha I'm still looking myself, so keep me posted, fellas. In the meantime, I'll go and test that new sleigh of mine - the one that I stole from Santa the other day. There's one seat left, but I might be able to squeeze you two in! Ho ho ho!

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  30. Always keep looking at the bottom of bottles, someday he might just be there.

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  31. ...and a very merry christmas to you as well, guys!

    you guys are awesome!

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  32. P.S. If things go as planed, you'll be in for a little surprise at my place, fellas. If things go as planned. Have a great evening and don't drink too little... um... much?

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  33. Merry Christmas, guys! So glad Jesus was doing his part to add to the festivities :)

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  34. You guys rock any holiday, but I think Andrew stole the show with the botox thing, no really, I'm going to take him up on it, medical doctor or not. Can't wait to read whatever you'll have for New Year's eve, no pressure though, no pressure...lol

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  35. And in the 40th comment, Jesus was found! Happy holidays guys!

    By the the way, Santa may have something to do with taking the Christ out of Christmas. He should make it up to us and send us all a plush Jesus doll!

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  36. Merry xmas guys. (little late) but as usual you had me laughing my ass off

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  37. Scuba diving Jesus in the bottom of a whiskey bottle may be the best thing I've seen so far. It's just that awesome. I also need to get in on the Jesus paella. Such a great food anyhow, with Jesus making it...miraculous.

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  38. You know, that was actually pretty sound theology. Probably a lot more accurate than some self righteous ramble about Christ not being in Christmas.

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  39. I saw him in my toast, but you know, I was hungry and all.

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