There are superheroes that walk among us. I'm not talking about policemen or firefighters or soldiers, but men and women with not-so-extraordinary, not-so-supernatural powers. Also, not all of those powers are good. Or even useful, for that matter.
Today we present to you: the superheroes you never knew existed.
1. This man fights injustice at every opportunity, and strikes fear in the hearts of those who have wronged him.
He is... Captain Road Rage, and he has 2 special abilities. First, he can justify beating a man half to death because that man was driving 42 in a 45 mph zone in front of him. Second, he can easily evade the police... mostly because the police never seem to be around when this asshole gets upset and goes into smash mode.
2. This superhero might be one that you're a little more used to hearing about, because he received his powers after falling into a vat of radioactive waste. However, now that he's radioactive, he doesn't so much spend his days fighting crime as he does getting painful, aggressive chemotherapy treatments and vomiting uncontrollably. Also, he's become horrendously deformed.
He is... Radioactive Man!
3. Our last hero is one you see every day. He lurks in chat rooms, and forums, and news websites. He's not the hero our Internet deserves, but he's the hero it surely needs.
He is... Grammaticon.
What a badass. I don't know if you've been to this Internet place lately, but Grammaticon's sure got his work cut out for him.
So, any other unlikely superheroes I should add to this list?
Also, stay tuned for Monday, when Part 2 reveals one last superhero... the greatest (or I guess worst?) of them all.
Your all invited to come back!
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan (and Brandon)
Music: Hoodie Allen
Beer: Fat Tire
PS Our good friend Pish Posh recently put out a collection of blogger stories called All Cracked Up, and she was kind enough to ask me to write the introduction. And I don't want to brag, but it's the best introduction I've ever written. Also the only introduction I've ever written. Check it out here.